Confrontation can be very constructive and helpful when it is done for the right reason, at the right time, and in the right way. Yesterday, I talked about searching our hearts to make certain our motives are pure. Always pray in advance so you don’t confront out of anger or selfishness.

Confronting at the right time is very important. Let’s say you need to confront someone on your job because their poor work habits are affecting others, and it’s affecting the quality of the work effort of your organization. You know this situation needs to be confronted.

Pick the right time and place. Never confront when others are present. It should always be a one-on-one encounter. Embarrassing or humiliating someone is sure to backfire on you, so choose a place that is private and conducive to a confidential conversation. Consider an off-site location. That often works best in business confrontations. Consider confronting over a meal. It seems to break down some barriers when we share a meal with someone. But again, it needs to be in a private setting.

Timing needs to be carefully considered. Make sure you time your confrontation when you are in control of your own emotions. It’s not a bad idea to follow the “sleep on it” rule of thumb before confronting. Also time it when you have carefully considered what you will say.

Consider timing as it relates to the other person as well. If you know this is the busiest week of the month for that person, you might be well advised to wait until next week. Or if you are aware that this person has recently experienced a personal problem or a health issue, take those things into consideration. Someone who is already struggling with another issue likely will not handle one more thing very well.

Wise Solomon wrote: a prudent man gives thought to his steps (Proverbs 14:15) and a patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly (Proverbs 14:29). Patience and prudence are very important as we think about confronting someone.