Couch Time with Amy Wine

Today is the day I focus on you, my dear listeners, as I answer and voice my opinion on some of your most frequently asked questions about marriage. Allow me to shed light on matters such as being friends with exes, marriage curfews (really now?), and trust issues.

I will also reveal a personal mistake you shouldn’t have to repeat.

Learn about jealousy, the urge to control and using sex, or the lack of it, as a punishment.

Full show notes available at amywine.com/23

Do you see your life and relationships to be in constant chaos and drama? You often wonder, is it just bad luck or am I intentionally setting myself up for stress?

In this episode of Marriage on Fire, Jon joins me as we paint a picture of a truly chaotic day in our family life. Hear how chaos starts, how it escalates, and how you can react to it in a more productive way.  Jon and I also unravel how your core values or moral compass determine your success. You want to not just survive, but thrive, in stressful situations.

Tired of all the drama?  Jon and I reveal how you can get off the roller coaster ride of your life. But the question is - do you really want to get off? Can you take charge of your life and break free from concepts and habits that put you in chaos in the first place? This is an episode you should not miss! 

Full show notes available at www.amywine.com/22

When yelling and silence no longer work on your husband, is it time to give up? How can you establish a connection with someone who is emotionally unavailable?

In today’s episode of Marriage on Fire, I’m joined by Jon once again. It's about time we hear his side of things as we talk about how our conflicting family background has ingrained in us, habits and values we had to unlearn to save our marriage. 

Learn why men are sometimes emotionally unavailable and how you can communicate in their language. Recognizing that you are emotionally unavailable is the first step, but are you ready to take action and make changes?

Listen in as Jon and I reveal some secret thoughts for the first time and hear how reactions can mean so much in a conversation. Learn how it can be OK not to be understood all the time and how to put more emphasis on being accepted and loved. Discover ways you can recognize progress in your relationship. It's not about perfection, but growth and celebrating your small victories together as husband and wife.

Full show notes available at www.amywine.com/21

Does addiction mean your marriage has to end? How do you help the ones you love without enabling their destructive behavior?

In today’s episode of Marriage on Fire, I’m joined by licensed chemical dependency counselor intern, Adriana Wallace. Adriana works closely with clients at the Amy Wine Counseling Center, aiding in the process of overcoming the hold chemical dependency can have on individuals, marriages and families alike. Her unwavering passion for the work she does is fueled by her own personal relationship with addiction. She shares her understanding of addiction and shares ways we can help those we love to overcome it.

Listen in as Adriana shares her story and gives invaluable insights into the workings of addiction. We talk about common misconceptions when it comes to addiction and all the small signs you may be missing when it comes to determining if it is present in your marriage. Hear why it is so incredibly difficult for addicts to “just stop” despite its effect on loved ones.   Find out how you can not just survive addiction, but come out on the other side of it stronger than ever.

Full show notes available at amywine.com/20

What effects can our marital conflicts have on our children? And what can we do to decrease stress and boost intimacy regardless of family stressors and other outside factors?

In this episode, I’m joined by my 18-year-old son and budding entrepreneur, Austin who offers a fresh take on marriage and parenting from the other side. I get his thoughts on marriage, conflict and he offers some blush-inducing, yet accurate advice. Listen in for his unique perspective and my top tips to avoid becoming marriage-roommates.

Full show notes available at www.amywine.com/19

Don’t forget to check out my new course- SPARK: Re-ignite your marriage and get back to loving like you just said I do! This is my FREE online beta course where you will get three weeks of lessons and three weeks of live access to me to ask me all of your burning questions!  Hop on over to amywine.com/sparkmarriagecourse to sign up!  We are starting on January  27th!

Are you feeling connected in your marriage? Or are you feeling disconnected?  Some days you may think things are going great and other times not at all.   

I see couples come into my private practice all the time who are feeling disconnected.  One of the spouses feels like they are constantly the one who is trying to make things better, while the other might be withdrawing from the relationship.

This can be a dangerous cycle.  In today’s episode, we are going to break this cycle down and figure out how you fix it when it happens…. And better yet, how you can prevent it in the first place. 

 You can find the full show notes available at amywine.com/18

Today on the podcast I will be talking about the nine transformations you want (and need!) to have in your marriage.  Some of these things might be going well for you and your spouse, while some of the others might need some serious work.  I have discussed these transformations with hundreds of couples in my private practice as well as close friends.    

Make sure to tune in and stay until the end because I have a treat for all of you who are ready to light your marriage on fire in 2020! 

9 Transformations:

1. You want to calm down anger in your marriage 
2. You want to reconnect with their spouse 
3. You want to have a voice that’s heard 
4. You want your spouse to understand where you are coming from, even if they don’t agree 
5. You want to create a lasting relationship free from worrying about disconnect
6. You want emotional and physical intimacy that stands the test of time
7. You want to feel like a priority to your spouse
8. You want to look forward to coming home 
9. You want to reconnect with your BFF (your spouse!)

These are the 9 transformations people want in their marriage. Are you wondering how you can go about making these changes? The first thing you have to do is to start looking at YOU and your impact on things. 

If you go straight into a discussion trying to correct any of these things and coming across as attacking, you are going to have a hard time figuring it out. I encourage you to start using the word “I” instead of ‘you”.  Instead of saying “you need to do the laundry” try saying “I would love it if you would take the kids out of the house for a few hours so I can do the laundry”. Doesn’t that statement sound much less aggressive and attacking towards your spouse?

After you listen to the episode, I want you to email me directly at [email protected] and tell me which of the 9 transformations you relate with.  Which ones would you love for me to cover on an upcoming podcast episode? 

After you email me, be sure to head over to www.amywine.com and sign up for my FREE beta course called SPARK.  This course will help you reignite your marriage like you just said I do.  Who doesn’t want that?! It's going to hit on every one of these transformations and will tell you exactly how you can change it.  

SPARK will be full of actionable, detailed information that you can take home to reignite your marriage.  As a bonus, I will be going live every week for 3 weeks in our group to answer all of your questions so get them ready! 

Make sure to sign up at

Are you showing up as the best you in your marriage?  Somedays you might say yes, and others you might be crawling under a table and hiding because your answer is a big fat, NO! 

 I know so many of you are hearing “new year, new you”.  I know this is supposed to be positive, but honestly, I hate it.  Why can’t it be “new day, new you”? Why do we have to think that you can only change when it’s a new year?  I want to make a change any day I want!

We are constantly in a state of change and people that don’t like change, don’t like to think of it that way. We should always be moving forward and not staying stuck or moving backward.

I am so passionate about being the healthiest and best you so you can have the best marriage possible.

Today I want you to sit down, review the questions in this episode, and look at YOU.  Grab a pen and paper and think about the questions and how they relate to your life. This is going to go deep so prepare yourself! 

Questions to Ask Yourself:

• What have you done in your life that you are proud of?
• How have those successes shaped your life?
• Are you feeling proud of yourself? How does this play a role in your life?
• How did your parents show their love for you?
• What is it that you want your partner to understand about you?
• What difficult things have you experienced in your life?
• Has your own trama had lasting effects on you? 
• What are you doing to protect yourself from these traumas?
• How do these things affect your marriage today? 
• How did your family express happiness? Fear? Sadness? Anger?
• What is your philosophy on expressing feelings?  Is it easy or hard for you?
• How do you want people to remember you at your death? 
• What is the mission statement for your life?  What is your purpose?
• Who do you want to become? 
• What do you want your life to be like in 5 years?  Write your story. 

I hope you sit down and take time to REALLY go through this exercise.  Bonus points if you can do it with your spouse. These questions make you dig deep but the couples who have done this have had phenomenal success.  

After you do this exercise I would love to hear from you.  You can reach out to me directly at [email protected]

On today's episode of the Marriage on Fire podcast…

We hope you had a good Christmas!

The New Year will be here soon, and you will hear a lot about New Year's resolutions. But completing a goal or resolution isn't something that just happens. It takes intention every day to make real progress!

It's so important to have a plan. Nothing that isn't planned gets done. 

We are going to go in-depth about why we need to be intentional with our time and what system we use to check in weekly. 

On Today's Episode:

• Christmas recap and expectations that come along with the season. 
• Why we need to be intentional with our time.
• What happens when we do not plan.
• Brendon Burchard's High-Performance Planner weekly review check-in.
• We rate the key areas in our lives and touch on how we can improve on them.

If you can change what you're doing in your marriage, you can change everything. It's not about what your spouse does or doesn't do. It's about what you do, or don't do. 

How are you going to be intentional in the new year? 

Additional Resources:

Take Your Marriage From Roommate Status to on FIRE --> Married Roommates

Subscribe to the Podcast

Follow Amy on Instagram 

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Are you subscribed to the podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today so you don’t miss any future episodes! I already have so many amazing guests and topics lined up, I would hate for you to miss a single one!  Click here to subscribe on Apple Podcasts

Could I ask a big favor? If you are loving the podcast, I would LOVE it if you would leave me a review on Apple Podcasts.  Jon and read each and every one! It also helps other people find the podcast!  Wondering how to leave a review? Click on the Apple Podcasts link to review, then select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review”.  So easy! 

We have alluded to in previous podcasts about one of our biggest marriage fights, and we are finally going to give you what you want.

Today we're going to talk about THAT fight. 

But then we're going to give you various ways to repair your relationship after an argument because you're always going to have arguments within marriage. 

We're going to tell you our story that you've all been dying to hear because I have had listeners, email me and tell me they really want to know about this fight! After we recap it, we're going to talk about how we repaired it. 

On today's episode we discuss: 

• All the details of the Ohio State vs. Oklahoma Sooners fight
• The Gottman repair list 
• What makes a repair affective
• The importance of trying to repair your relationship after a big fight as quickly as possible
• Why you should really get to know your partner's world during peaceful times. 
• How to nurture your fondness and admiration for each other.
• Why it's import to turn towards each other instead of turning away, this leads into respect on a physical level. 

You're always going to have arguments in marriage. Even the best marriages do. It's important to repair as soon as possible and not let anger fester any longer than it has to. Learn from the argument, and if at all possible, know what triggered it. What can be done differently? And again, get back on the same page get back together. 

Resources Mentioned: 

Dr. John Gottman Repair Checklist

Additional Resources:

Take Your Marriage From Roommate Status to on FIRE --> Married Roommates

Subscribe to the Podcast

Follow Amy on Instagram 

Follow Amy on Facebook

Are you subscribed to the podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today so you don’t miss any future episodes! I already have so many amazing guests and topics lined up, I would hate for you to miss a single one!  Click here to subscribe on Apple Podcasts

Could I ask a big favor? If you are loving the podcast, I would LOVE it if you would leave me a review on