In this episode, I talk about how easy it can be to see the innocence in everyone else's journey while holding ourselves to a harsher standard. That's something I tend to carry quietly. I talk about the inner critic, protector parts, regret, self-blame, and the emotional habit of judging our past choices as if we "should have known better." Underneath self-criticism is often fear and an attempt to feel safer - not truth.

What if you were doing the best you could with the awareness, wounding, and resources you had at the time? What if softness - not shame - is what actually helps you move forward and integrate the wisdom from your experiences? A lot of healing can happen when we can bring compassion to those scared, critical parts of us. That's what this episode is about. Including all the reality TV I watch and how that's very much connected to this too.

In this episode, I talk about what it feels like to have split energy—when one part of you wants growth, change, or movement, while another part feels scared, resistant, tired, or unsure. So often we think we need to "fix" ourselves, choose one side, or force clarity before we can move forward. But what if the real healing comes from simply acknowledging and validating both sides with compassion? I share how learning to parent my inner parts, rather than judge or ignore them, has brought me more peace, integration, and self-trust. If you've been feeling conflicted, stuck, or torn in different directions, this episode may be helpful.

In this episode I talk about the main reasons it's so healing to tell the truth. And to let the young, inner parts of you tell their truth - even if it sounds whiny, negative, dark, bratty, petty, ugly, unprofessional, childish, immature. That's expressive journaling for ya. I can't say enough about how liberating and helpful it's been for me, not because it "fixed" anything, but because it helped me be potently present with myself and my inner experience.

I talk about why we're so afraid to feel our emotions and how we think bringing more attention to our feelings will intensify them (when it actually softens them over time). I go into how this process has shifted my relationship with myself, my triggers, my sense of self-worth and with how I'm navigating this treacherous ass world we're living in. Spending time sitting with myself and all the uncomfortable fear, worries, and neuroses that continually come up (esp inside a highly sensitive character like myself) has helped me unclench, trust life more, and become more receptive to exactly what life looks like now, and to whatever's potentially meant for me.

The thing people don't understand about being in a job that feels like it's draining the life out of you, is that it sneakily puts you in a self-defeating survival mode mentality. One where your overall vibration is "I hate this, I'm not ok, I need to figure out how to get out". Clenched fist. Stress. Fear and resistance.

I was in a job like that from October to February.

I met the challenge with an expressive journaling practice (called JournalSpeak by Nicole Sachs) that I did every single day for 3 months. Each day I would come home, open a Google Doc, use the Voice Typing tool, set a 20 min timer, and vent about everything that was making me feel frustrated, sad, exhausted, overwhelmed. This took me through quite a dark night of the soul period because so much old wounding came up to be felt, processed, forgiven and integrated.

My journaling practice helped me stop trying to escape my circumstances and instead let them work their magic on me by showing up for the inner work. Giving the inner parts of myself space to vent and honoring their feelings day after day moved my overall energy from a clenched fist to an open palm. From resistance to receptivity. And then in dropped a much more aligned opportunity. I tell this story in episodes 31 and 32 of this podcast.

References:

JournalSpeak - Nicole Sachs

The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence by Fiona Robertson

Tao Te Ching - Stephen Mitchell translation

Richard Rudd on ReWilding with Sabrina Lynn podcast

Mind Your Body: A Revolutionary Program to Release Chronic Pain and Anxiety by Nicole Sachs

The thing people don't understand about being in a job that feels like it's draining the life out of you, is that it sneakily puts you in a self-defeating survival mode mentality. One where your overall vibration is "I hate this, I'm not ok, I need to figure out how to get out". Clenched fist. Stress. Fear and resistance.

I was in a job like that from October to February.

I met the challenge with an expressive journaling practice (called JournalSpeak by Nicole Sachs) that I did every single day for 3 months. Each day I would come home, open a Google Doc, use the Voice Typing tool, set a 20 min timer, and vent about everything that was making me feel frustrated, sad, exhausted, overwhelmed. This took me through quite a dark night of the soul period because so much old wounding came up to be felt, processed, forgiven and integrated.

My journaling practice helped me stop trying to escape my circumstances and instead let them work their magic on me by showing up for the inner work. Giving the inner parts of myself space to vent and honoring their feelings day after day moved my overall energy from a clenched fist to an open palm. From resistance to receptivity. And then in dropped a much more aligned opportunity. I tell this story in episodes 31 and 32 of this podcast.

References:

JournalSpeak - Nicole Sachs

The Dark Night of the Soul: A Journey from Absence to Presence by Fiona Robertson

Tao Te Ching - Stephen Mitchell translation

Richard Rudd on ReWilding with Sabrina Lynn podcast

Mind Your Body: A Revolutionary Program to Release Chronic Pain and Anxiety by Nicole Sachs

In this episode I walk you through the PATCH acronym. Why each piece of it is so healing to practice and use as a consistent way of responding to yourself (and your triggers, feelings, etc.) with love and compassion.

This episode goes deeper into stage 3 aka the energy of devotion. (Listen to episode 28 first if you haven't yet!)

I talk about:

-why stage 3 is really the best of stage 1 and 2, without the depleting parts

-why stage 3 leaves so much space for RECEIVING. When you do your part but also open to receive support from life

-how stage 1 is very "do - have - be" while stage 3 is "be - do - have". Frequency precedes form. Feeling drives what we DO and then eventually what we have. So by continually feeling proud of yourself, you're gonna keep doing good

-examples of stage 3 energy in my life

-ways that I've noticed I slip out of stage 3 and back into stage 1

-checking your fuel source and what to do when you find yourself back in stage 1 or 2

-why being a good parent to yourself is so important. NOT cracking the whip on yourself. More on that next episode :)

I've had a complicated relationship with motivation, productivity and consistency. I'm so used to yoyo-ing between two ways of going about life or working towards goals:

1 - Hustle, grind, action action action. Make to do list upon to do list and check things off until I deplete myself and burn out

2 - Let go, surrender and allow. Remember it's not all on my shoulders. That I'm a spiritual being having a human experience. Allow more acceptance for exactly where I am. Relax more and just float down the river of life

The second option feels like relief from the first until it doesn't. After awhile it ends up feeling too passive and nonintentional. So then I go back to option 1 and taking a LOT of action to hopefully make more actual progress. And whether or not I do make more progress, I end up eventually feeling drained and unsatisfied. So then I go back to option 2 and re-connect to myself and a sense of spirituality, trying to just relax and control less... until I again end up feeling a bit too directionless. And the cycle continues and continues.

This episode is about option 3. Transcending this yoyo pattern between 1 and 2 and finding motivation that's rooted in something other than fear, dissatisfaction, and a desire to change what I don't like about my life now. Rather than cracking the whip on my poor inner child, how can I intrinsically motivate and inspire her? How can I teach her to do things for the sake of being proud of herself and feeling in integrity with who she is.... instead of "you better do this OR ELSE!"

I hope this episode is helpful for anyone who struggles to be motivated and stay motivated. And with taking consistent, steady actions towards goals. I'm still figuring it out but I can already tell my inner child likes the approach of option 3 so much more than 1 and 2.

This episode is about getting laid off, getting a puppy, having no idea what's next in my life and fully surrendering and choosing to trust. Being an "interesting daughter" as my dad says :)

Tosha Silver website and books

Walking you through a simple visualization to cultivate a wave of acceptance for all the different parts of you. I find this practice to be very grounding and soothing. May it find whoever needs it <3