Cracked Spines

This week, Mark Watney gets off—of Mars. And Amelia makes that stupid joke twice. We read Andy Weir’s novel The Martian and cover some super relevant topics, like Dragonball Z and Yu-Gi-Oh (but also like, the Curiosity rover and how to grow potatoes in a desolate wasteland). Also, this is Amelia’s first week back on the road living that glamorous #vanlife, and boy does she have a story to tell about backwoods campsite shower hygiene. Specifically, a horror story.

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This week, Sarah and Amelia write the book on wilderness survival--literally. In a special episode in honor of Amelia leaving on her latest expedition, we're re-reading our old trip diaries from our very first road trip together, back when we were hapless fools who had yet to learn of the glory that is a two-burner propane stove. Aside from figuring out how to properly pee in the woods, Sarah worked through the aftermath of a tragedy that transpired during her senior year of college, and found genuine healing through nature. Amelia wrote lesbian peach vore.

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Revenge against an imperialist empire is a dish best served with a side of swashbuckling. It's everyone's favorite space-opera, Ancillary Justice! Sarah and Amelia talk about sentient space ships, cool gender stuff (guest starring another discussion of The Left Hand of Darkness because we just can't help ourselves), and... Pontius Pilate. Naturally, there is some singing involved. 

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Sarah and Amelia aren’t 100% clear about the difference between particle physics and witchcraft, but they give hard sci-fi their very best shot as they read The Three Body Problem by Liu Cixin this week. Including a crash course on the Chinese Cultural Revolution, how to survive the world’s worst video game, and speculation on the effectiveness of using the full immersion suit to have cybersex with Galileo.

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In which Sarah and Amelia aren't destroying this episode, they're just making it new--because their first version got messed up and they had to record it twice. Featuring hot takes on the new Annihilation movie, like the fact that Nataie Portman is a twunk not a twink, and lockets are relevant again. Also, a disturbing look into Sarah's bear fetish, horrific photos Amelia had printed at CVS, and the hit sci-fi writer "Oscar Isamov."

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This week, Sarah and Amelia fantasize about an alternative ending to Richard Preston's nonfiction work The Hot Zone wherein the Ebola virus in Reston actually does decimate their whole hometown, at last solving the problem of Northern Virginia traffic. Amelia spreads disease all through Europe. Sarah invents Bacteria Jesus. At no point do we say "Here's out hot take on The Hot Zone", or quote the Celebrity Jeopardy skit that Amelia wouldn't shut up about for the past two weeks.

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This episode we cover "Station Eleven" by Emily St. John Mandel. Join us for discussions about grieving the beauty of our world, the improbability of human existence, and what would happen if Hiro from Heroes froze time and ejaculated 30 times in every direction. So you know, classy stuff. Also featuring "julian bashir is a space twink," post-apocalyptic Shakespeare fanfiction, and Amelia getting up in the middle of the recording to show Sarah her new Black Sails DVDs. It's only slightly justified in context.

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This episode, Sarah repeatedly mixes up N.K. Jemisin's Hugo award-winning fantasy novel The Fifth Season with that one Bruce Willis movie, and Amelia mixes up the name of a major character with the name of Sarah's bioware boyfriend. Also, Sarah takes a drug test, Amelia makes an important purchase, and we try to maintain our composure for long enough to have a serious discussion about institutional oppression, with moderate success.

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Sarah and Amelia embark on a historical tour of women and the sea, from female admirals to female pirates (and the sea-faring women whose lives were ruined by pirates). Featuring tales of Artemisia of Caria, Grace O'Malley, Lady Jane Franklin, Cheng I Sao--and of course, the Black Sails favs Anne Bonny and Mary Read. Also, a rather egregious historical error on Amelia's part. She researched pirates, not US Presidents.

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This week, Sarah and Amelia read the whole gosh dang Hunger Games trilogy (sort of). Half the episode involves discussions about oppression, literary analysis, gender theory— you know, the deep stuff. The second half is two garbage people weighing their odds of winning the Games. Spoiler: they're low.

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