Cracking Open with Molly Carroll

October 19th marked the 13th anniversary of my dad’s passing. It was a deeply profound day, as I experienced a revelation about my grief.

I realized that to reach a healthier place with my grief, I needed to engage with it differently. For the past 13 years, I’ve held onto a level of consciousness regarding my grief that requires transformation. I’ve been wearing a cloak of identification with the narrative of someone who lost their parents too young, feeling like a victim and grappling with anger over both of my parents’ deaths (my mom passed away five years ago).

However, last Saturday, I realized to reach the next level of healing, I needed to cultivate a different relationship with my grief and my dad. While I’m unsure exactly what this new relationship looks like, I set an intention that day to let go and surrender, shifting from the mindset of “this happened to me” to a perspective of “this happened for me.” I aspire for my grief to embody more light than darkness, and to serve as a teacher rather than a burden. I want it to guide me toward humility and deeper wisdom. When grief resurfaces and I feel the sadness and loss in my bones, I wish to embrace it through my tears or screams, but not to identify solely with it.

I share this journey because one woman who has profoundly influenced my understanding of grief is Elizabeth Lesser. I discovered her work around 11 years ago, shortly after my dad’s death, when I read her book Broken Open. Every word resonated deeply and reassured me that I could survive this loss. This book radically changed my life, and I often gift it to those going through difficult transitions.

The Cracking Open podcast has an exciting upcoming episode where, for the first time, I host a dual interview with Elizabeth and Mary Pipher to discuss a particular and profound issue for women (stay tuned for its release on November 21st!)

Leading up to that episode's release, I will re-release their initial interviews with me so you can soak in their deep wisdom and charm. Whether it's the first time you've listened or a refresh, you are in for a treat.

Elizabeth has touched millions through her bestselling books, including Cassandra Speaks: When Women Are the Storytellers, The Human Story Changes, Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow and Marrow: Love, Loss & What Matters Most.

She co-founded the Omega Institute, a retreat and conference center in Rhinebeck, NY, dedicated to holistic education and social change movements, attracting over 30,000 participants annually. In 2008, she also helped Oprah Winfrey produce a 10-week online seminar based on Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, which reached more than 8 million viewers worldwide. Elizabeth is a frequent Oprah’s Soul Series host and has appeared on Super Soul Sunday.

Please enjoy this incredible conversation. Grab a cup of tea, a notebook, and a pen, and take this hour to soak in Elizabeth’s storytelling, wisdom, and insights.

Love,
Molly


Learn more about Elizabeth Lesser and her work here


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At 21 years old, Lindsay Valentine was told that his father had pancreatic cancer. Towards the end of his father's fight with his cancer, his mother was shockingly also diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Within 6 months of one another, Lindsay lost both of his parents to this heartbreaking disease.

Lindsay joins us on the Cracking Open podcast this week to honor his parents' memory and share his journey with this traumatic life experience and what it taught him.

It is an unimaginable story for any family, let alone a family of four boys aged 18, 20, 22, and 24. At their young age, they should have been thinking about high school prom, college football games, going to parties, and creating resumes for their first jobs. Instead, these four young men became caretakers for their dying parents and one another.

As the oldest brother, Lindsay quickly stepped in as the protector, helper, and savior. Not only did he do this out of deep love for his family, but in retrospect he recognized that taking on this role also distracted him from dealing directly with his own immense grief, sadness, pain, and vulnerability. But that shield only delayed the reckoning of his grief and he has since acknowledged that real healing occurs when we allow space for our grief, pain, and fears.

He now knows that sharing his feelings with his loved ones brings them closer together, versus the dysfunction and separation that occurred when he worked hard to keep his feelings at bay.

In this episode, Lindsay leans into his vulnerability and commitment to connection by sharing that he is still not okay more than a year after losing his parents and that THAT is okay. He remains in a constant battle with his grief but knows that these losses have taught him to be more vulnerable, to ask for help, and most importantly – to love.

Experiencing the death of his mom and dad has reminded him that we only have this one life and it can drastically change in the blink of an eye – so call that friend or family member, follow your joy in everything that you do, and don’t be afraid to have the tough conversations with the people you love most. Overall, Lindsay’s message is that there is always hope to be found, even in the darkest of times.

Bill Valentine, Lindsay's father, passed away on October 21, 2022.
Jessica Valentine, Lindsay's mother, passed away on March 17, 2023.

Lindsay's parents were two of the most loving, selfless, heart-centered, passion-filled humans I've ever known, and both were dear personal friends of mine. This episode is dedicated to their memory and to the burgeoning lives of their four beautiful sons.

Listen to Bill Valentine's podcast interview with Molly as he discusses what having terminal cancer has taught him about the true meaning of life. Originally aired on February 17, 2022, it remains our most downloaded podcast episode.

Love,
Molly


For more information on Molly's 3-month coaching program, click here
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We often hear mantras urging us to “be in the present moment” or “appreciate what you have because it could all be gone tomorrow". While a part of us knows this to be true, we can still find ourselves stuck, focused on checking off our to-do lists, and laboring on the treadmill of work, believing that more money will lead to greater happiness.

In chasing this false sense of happiness, we often lose sight of what truly matters—our relationships, dreams, and purpose in life. This week, Michael O’Brien joins us on the Cracking Open podcast. Michael is a successful businessman who used to work 60-70 hours a week in corporate leadership and had fallen into the common traps of perceived happiness. But one day he endured a near-death cycling accident when he was struck head-on by an SUV traveling at 40 MPH. This incident completely changed his life.

In the wake of the accident, Michael pleaded for a second chance at life. He promised himself that if he survived, he would live more authentically and stop chasing that elusive happiness. Escaping death marked what he calls “My Last Bad Day,” a turning point that forever altered his outlook on life. After enduring 13 surgeries and years of physical therapy, Michael made a profound shift in his perspective, fulfilling his promise to live a more inspired life.

Influenced by his various teachers and meditation practice, he came to realize that his accident had served as a catalyst for transformation—not only for himself but for those around him. In this episode, Michael shares his "cracking open" story and the struggles that led him to a more intentional life. He discusses finding peace in a chaotic world, discovering personal power amid challenges, and evaluating how our careers can bring happiness.

Today, Michael is an experienced meditation teacher, executive coach, and endurance athlete. He loves helping people accomplish difficult goals through mindfulness, hosts the heartwarming Kintsugi Podcast, and created the app Pause, Breathe, Reflect. In 2022, he rode his bike across America, harnessing the power of mindfulness along the way. Today, Michael helps others navigate life and business using G.R.A.C.E.(Gratitude, Reframing, Awareness, Community, and Energy). This framework assists individuals in building trustworthy support systems, creating fulfilling lives, and bringing out the best in themselves and others.

This heart-centered and tear-filled conversation is not to be missed, and it's an honor to now consider Michael a mentor and friend.

Love,
Molly

Learn more about Michael O'Brien and his work here
Listen to the Kintsugi Podcast here
Download the Pause Breathe Reflect meditation app here
Connect with Michael on LinkedIn


For more information on Molly's 3-month coaching program, click here
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Two weeks ago, I sent my first child off to college.

To say it’s been an adjustment is an understatement. I didn’t realize how deeply I would grieve not picking up his cheese wrappers, and smelly soccer cleats, or giving him a nightly hug. The silence at home is unnerving – I miss hearing him shout, “Mom, are you home?” and the chaos of soccer boys rummaging through the kitchen. And the bodily heartache around the passing of time or that our family of four is now a family of three.

This transition has given me time to reflect on my immense gratitude for all those who have supported my son, Tommy, through his journey—his coaches, teachers, and school administrators. They’ve taught him about respect, hard work, curiosity, teamwork, and most importantly, love. Tommy would not be the person he is today without their support.

That’s why this week's Cracking Open podcast guest, Rashid Davis, holds a special place in my heart. Rashid is the founding principal of Pathways in Technology Early High School (P-TECH) and embodies the power of education and love.

"We only have a short shelf life, a moment to make an impact. I was raised in the poorest district in the Bronx, so I saw inequities, but I saw love and understanding, so I lead with love.” ~ Rashid Davis

Rashid has dedicated his life to improving education and uplifting humanity. P-TECH, a groundbreaking model that spans grades 9-14, provides a pathway from high school to college and a career in industry. The first P-TECH school in Brooklyn partners with New York City College of Technology and IBM.

In 2013, P-TECH was highlighted by President Obama in the State of the Union and received a visit from him in October of that year. As of August 2021, P-TECH has expanded to 28 countries with over 200 school and college partners and more than 600 industry partners.

In 2016, Rashid was honored as a Legendary School Leader by the Black Caucus of CSA and Administrators and received proclamations from the City Council of New York, the State Assembly, and various Senate Districts. He was also named to City and State’s 2016 “Brooklyn Borough 50,” recognizing influential leaders in Brooklyn.

In this episode, Rashid shares his journey from growing up in the Bronx with a deep passion for education to obtaining multiple master’s degrees and dedicating his career to school development. He shares his invaluable wisdom, inspiring story, and open-hearted approach. Rashid imparts a powerful lesson: If you can open your heart and mind, you will see that everything is education. He emphasizes: “Love people the way that they know and experience love. And so, it really becomes a microcosm of society. And meet people where they are. And when I say love, it's not always the love that feels good, sometimes you have to do things for people to protect them.”

As we kick off a new back-to-school season, Rashid helps remind us of the importance of teachers and educators. I hold deep gratitude for individuals like Rashid who have played such a pivotal and positive role in the educational and growth journeys of so many children, including my son.

Love,
Molly


Learn more about P-Tech here
Connect with Rashid Davis on LinkedIn


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For me, this episode's timing could not be more perfect. I dropped off my first kiddo at college last weekend and that has brought with it a tidal wave of emotions – grief, sadness, tons of tears, and reflections on the passing of time, my marriage, and my identity as a mom. I have had to lean on my closest friends multiple times already, and I know that those friendships will continue to be a salvation to me in this new phase of life and letting go.

Do you remember singing, “Make new friends, but keep the old; one is silver, and the other is gold”? Today, I’m thrilled to welcome one of my “gold” friends to the Cracking Open podcast — Charlotte Hardwick.

Charlotte and I have been dear friends for over 30 years. In this week's episode, we dive into the highs and lows of female friendships, exploring their benefits and complexities, and how they significantly impact our lives.

However, there is much more to Charlotte than the jewels of long-standing friendship. She also comes to this conversation with a wealth of expertise in wellness and nutrition. With over 20 years of experience developing wellness and life-balance programming, Charlotte has worked with individuals, families, and organizations across the country. She brings her teachings into the homes of her clients, into studios, and on retreats in South Carolina, Costa Rica, Mexico, and at the creative and memorable Blackberry Farm hotel and wellness center in the Appalachian Mountains of Tennessee.

Charlotte's extensive knowledge is built on studies from around the world, including MA degrees in nutrition and early childhood development and over 100 dietary theories. Charlotte’s mentors include Dr. Andrew Weil from the Arizona Center for Integrative Medicine, Dr. Deepak Chopra, Dr. David Katz from Yale University’s Prevention Research Center, and Dr. Walter Willett from Harvard University’s nutrition department, among many other leading health and wellness experts.

In our conversation, we delve into her vast experience in health and wellness, offering concrete tips and tools for living a more balanced and grounded life. We also get real about what we seek from friendships in our 50s, exploring the highs and lows that have sustained our bond for 30 years, while also discussing why female friendships are crucial for our physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. God knows they have saved my ass more than a few times!

Charlotte truly embodies the qualities of a “gold” friend — honest, loving, and authentic. I hope you come away from this episode feeling inspired to make healthy choices for your own life and feeling grateful for your own long-standing "gold" friendships.

Love,
Molly

P.S. As you may have noticed, our team has made some changes to the look of the Cracking Open podcast. As much as I loved the original design, it felt like the right time for a fresh new look. I love it and hopefully you do too!


Learn more about Charlotte Hardwick here
Register for Charlotte's next retreat at Blackberry Farm here
Follow Charlotte on Instagram



Molly's next 3-month Cracking Open group coaching program starts in September 2024! Learn more here.

Interested in a VIP Coaching Day with Molly?
Email Molly for more details!

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In an era marked by division and rising mental health challenges, Fr. Greg Boyle’s voice is one we need to hear now more than ever. On this episode of the Cracking Open podcast, I am honored to speak with Fr. Boyle, a man whose work, books, and mission have inspired me for years.

Father Gregory Boyle is a Jesuit priest and founder of Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles, the world's largest gang intervention, rehabilitation, and re-entry program. Born and raised in Los Angeles, Fr. Boyle served as pastor of Dolores Mission Church in Boyle Heights from 1986 to 1992. Dolores Mission was the poorest Catholic parish in Los Angeles and had the highest concentration of gang activity in the city. 

He had a front-row seat to the devastating impact of gang violence on his community during the so-called “decade of death” that began in the late 1980s, peaking at 1,000 gang-related killings in 1992.  Law enforcement deployed harsh police tactics and the criminal justice system rolled out policies of suppression and mass incarceration as the primary response to the increased gang violence.
 
But where others saw only criminals, Father Boyle saw people in need of help. So his parish and community members decided to implement a radically different approach – to treat gang members as human beings. 

In 1988 they started what would eventually become Homeboy Industries, which employs and trains former gang members in a range of social enterprises, as well as provides critical services to thousands of individuals who walk through its doors every year seeking a better life. Whether joining their 18-month employment and re-entry program or seeking discreet services such as tattoo removal or substance abuse resources, their clients are embraced by a community of kinship and offered a variety of free wraparound services to facilitate healing and growth.

In this episode, we discuss Fr. Boyle’s journey to becoming a priest, the development of Homeboy Industries, and his core principles: “Everybody’s unshakably good, no exceptions,” and “We belong to each other, no exceptions.”  We also explore the teachings of Jesus, and what Fr. Greg shares is the “marrow of the gospel” emphasizing inclusion, nonviolence, unconditional kindness, and compassion.

Fr. Boyle speaks of these concepts in his 2010 New York Times bestseller Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion, followed by Barking to the Choir: The Power of Radical Kinship (2017) and The Whole Language: The Power of
Extravagant Tenderness (2021). Recently he debuted Forgive Everyone Everything, an anthology of writings accompanied by Fabian Debora’s artwork.

He has received the California Peace Prize and has been inducted into the California Hall of Fame. In 2014, President Obama named Fr. Boyle a Champion of Change. He received the University of Notre Dame’s 2017 Laetare Medal, the oldest
honor given to American Catholics. Homeboy Industries was the recipient of the 2020 Hilton Humanitarian Prize, validating 32 years of Fr. Greg Boyle’s vision and work by the organization for over three decades. And in May 2024, Fr. Greg was a recipient of The Presidential Medal of Freedom from President Biden.

Our heartfelt conversation reveals that what everyone seeks is a home – not just a physical space but a place where they are seen, and valued, and where judgment is left at the door.

Love, Molly

Learn more about Father Greg Boyle and his work with Homeboy Industries here
Follow Homeboy Industries on Facebook, Instagram, and X.

Do you believe in synchronicity? Our guest today on the Cracking Open podcast embodies the essence of serendipity.

I first encountered Samantha Myer in a Venice, California coffee shop and was drawn to her stylish and distinctive coat/robe/sweater ensemble. Little did I know, her story transcends mere fashion.

Based in Los Angeles, Samantha is a celebrated wardrobe stylist, designer, and the
creative force behind Samantha Myer Studio. She's renowned for the iconic Papa
Sweater, a blend of blanket, sweater, and comforting embrace that I personally
adore.

Samantha's career spans from styling ad campaigns and red carpets to showcasing her designs at New York Fashion Week. Her work has graced the pages of The New York Times, Elle.com, Cosmopolitan, Elle France, and GQ.
In 2014, Samantha made waves in fashion with "Leather Stems" - leather thigh-
high stirrups that transform ankle boots into thigh-highs. Launched at Intermix
Stores nationwide, this innovation marked a pivotal moment in her journey,
leading to collaborations with celebrities such as Alicia Keys.

Beyond her professional achievements, Samantha's designs and identity are
deeply shaped by losing her father at a young age. This experience sparked her involvement with A Caring Hand, a non-profit supporting bereaved children. Samantha's compassion for these young hearts has driven her to use her platform for advocacy and awareness.

In our conversation, Samantha emerges as a captivating storyteller, effortlessly
blending poignant reflections on grief with delightful anecdotes from her life,
including friendships with icons like Lindsay Lohan. Her journey underscores
powerful life lessons about embracing dreams with courage and authenticity.

Love,
Molly


Learn more about Samantha Myer and her work here
Follow Samantha on Instagram



Molly's next 3-month Cracking Open group coaching program starts in September 2024! Learn more here.

Interested in a VIP Coaching Day with Molly?
Email Molly for more details!

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My son leaves for college in August, so you can only imagine how much I have been reflecting on motherhood lately.

I've been thinking back on all those joyful hours watching Tommy play soccer since he was three years old, and the sleepless nights worrying if he'll be okay as he changes and grows into the young man he is today. The essence of loving a child deeply reminds me of Elizabeth Stone's famous saying –

“Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”  

These words have never felt more true than they do right now, and it has inspired me to re-release an early episode of the Cracking Open podcast with one of the fiercest and most radically loving mothers I know - the incredible Jodie Patterson.

Jodie is an award-winning author, public speaker, advocate, and entrepreneur whose work spans communities as diverse as fashion and beauty brands, to media and entertainment organizations, to queer and BIPOC advocacy groups. In 2019, she became the first Black person elected to the role of Chair of The Human Rights Campaign Board, America’s largest LGBT organization with more than forty years of experience advocating for the rights of this community.

Her first book, The Bold World: A Memoir of Family and Transformation, was hailed by Alice Walker as “marvelous”, and since its publication in 2017, Jodie has spoken weekly on topics of identity, gender, race, and beauty, along with how they play out in family dynamics. In 2021, she published her second book, Born Ready: The True Story of a Boy Named Penelope. It has won several awards and was gifted to all public schools in the state of Kansas. The picture book was inspired by Jodie’s child’s pronouncement at the age of three, “Mama, I’m not a girl, I am a boy”, as well as Jodie’s transformation into an unapologetic LGBTQAI advocate.

Jodie's story has been featured in numerous daytime talk shows, evening news programs, national print publications, podcasts, and radio programs, including a short documentary produced by Cosmopolitan magazine that reached more than 11 million views and is currently used by the State of New York for diversity training of its employees. In 2015, Family Circle Magazine named her the #1 Most Influential Mom.

She is a truly inspiring woman and mother, and the conversation that we share is both poignant and passionate. Jodie's voice is an important one to listen to if you want to experience the embodiment of true freedom in love and motherhood.

Love,
Molly

Purchase Jodie's book The Bold World here, and Born Ready here  
Follow Jodie on Instagram



Molly's next 3-month Cracking Open group coaching program starts in September 2024! Learn more here.

Interested in a VIP Coaching Day with Molly?
Email Molly for more details!

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Chris Herren's story is one of profound struggle and eventual redemption. Addiction impacts millions of families in heartbreaking ways. I know this personally and through sitting with multiple clients who have been going through it with loved ones. This makes today's conversation about addiction and recovery on the Cracking Open podcast especially powerful.

As a young basketball prodigy from Fall River, MA, Chris soared to fame with over 2000 points in high school, even gracing the cover of Sports Illustrated before graduating. However, his journey with addiction had already started to derail his life and his future as a professional athlete. Due to repeated failed drug tests, Chris was expelled from Boston College.

Legendary coach Jerry Tarkanian reached out to Chris and gave him a second chance to play college basketball at Fresno State. He flourished there, leading him into the NBA, playing with the Denver Nuggets and Boston Celtics. In secret though, Chris was still battling with alcohol and drug addiction, and basketball simply couldn't compete with the lure of alcohol, cocaine, and heroin.

Despite his success on the court, his personal life spiraled out of control, culminating in an overdose and near-death experience in 2008. Through what he calls his "sherpas" – guiding lights on his journey – Chris fully embraced recovery, and has been sober since August 1, 2008. He continues to share his story through various platforms, including his bestselling memoir Basketball Junkie and the Emmy-nominated ESPN Films documentary Unguarded.

Chris has dedicated his life to sobriety and creating a positive impact in the world. Through his company Herren Talks, he has reached over a million students and community members, sparking crucial conversations about substance use disorder and wellness. Chris's nonprofit Herren Project, empowers schools and communities to make healthy choices and supports families through recovery. Herren Wellness, established in 2018, offers residential health and wellness programs to support substance-free living.

Chris's journey and this conversation around addiction recovery will resonate deeply with many of you. Even if you have not been personally touched by addiction, understanding this topic and its impact is crucial, making this conversation particularly significant.

Love,
Molly


Learn more about Chris Herren and his work here
Follow Chris on Instagram




Molly's next 3-month Cracking Open group coaching program starts in July 2024! Learn more here.

Interested in a VIP Coaching Day with Molly?
Email Molly for more details!

Follow Molly on Instagram and Facebook

Do you ever feel like you have to be perfect? The perfect mother, daughter, employee, partner, etc?

It's a familiar struggle that I have grappled with in my own life, and as a therapist, I've witnessed this innate desire to be perfect from thousands of women.

That's how I first came across Elise Loehnen's bestselling book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good.  It is such an intriguing read and I am thrilled to have her on the Cracking Open podcast today.

Elise is not only a New York Times bestselling author, but also the host of the podcast Pulling the Thread, where she interviews cultural luminaries about life's big questions.

In our conversation, we talk through some of our own big questions like how she got the idea for her book after speaking with the celebrity therapist Lori Gottlieb on the Goop podcast. Ms. Gottlieb told her - pay attention to envy, it can show you what you want. Gottlieb's insight into using envy as a revealing emotion inspired Elise to explore the other six "deadly sins" —lust, anger, greed, gluttony, sloth, and pride—and their impact on women's lives. Not only did this exploration deeply influence millions of women's lives but her own as well.

"I'm the primary breadwinner. I've killed myself to succeed in life and be a good mother, partner, citizen, employee, and boss. And, you know, I was breathless, exhausted, and recognized that I was running a race with no finish line, that I was competing against a standard that I had not created and that would never give me any rewards that would mean anything to me." ~ Elise Loehnen

Boy oh boy, can I relate! Maybe you can too?

Join us as we delve into a wide range of topics, such as the Enneagram personality type system, Elise's affinity with spiritual figures such as Mary Magdalene (and how I feel that Elise is our modern-day Joan of Arc!).

Elise was previously the chief content officer of the famous lifestyle brand goop. While there, she co-hosted The goop Podcast and The goop Lab on Netflix, and led the brand’s content strategy and programming, including launching a magazine with Condé Nast and a book imprint. Before goop, she held roles as the editorial projects director of Conde Nast Traveler and editor at large and deputy editor of Lucky Magazine, where she also served as the on-air spokesperson, appearing regularly on shows like Today, E!, Good Morning America, and The Early Show.

Elise is highly accomplished in her career and a staunch advocate for women's self-acceptance. She emphasizes that it's not about striving for perfection but rather about becoming aware of how cultural programming and ancient ideas of morality, such as the seven deadly sins, continue to control and distort women's lives today. Elise believes that trusting in our natural instincts can lead us back to a more balanced, peaceful, and spiritually fulfilling way of living.

My conversation with Elise was a breath of fresh air. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Love,
Molly

Learn more about Elise Loehnen here
Join Elise's Substack here
Purchase On Our Best Behavior here
Listen to Pulling the Thread podcast here
Follow Elise on Instagram