Today I am here with Matt Phillips, an elite athlete who train NAVY, athletes, and many more, we are going to talk about why he chose mental toughness in his strategy of training, here is the full episode hope you enjoy. Listen to your favorite podcast app.
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Ari Gronich 0:01
Has it occurred to you that the systems we live by are not designed to get results. We pay for procedures instead of outcomes, focusing on emergencies rather than preventing disease and living a healthy lifestyle. For over 25 years, I've taken care of Olympians Paralympians a list actors in fortune 1000 companies, if I did not get results, they did not get results. I realized that while powerful people who control the system wants to keep the status quo. If I were to educate the masses, you would demand change. So I'm taking the gloves off and going after the systems as they are joining me on my mission to create a new tomorrow as I chat with industry experts, elite athletes, thought leaders and government officials about how we activate our vision for a better world. We may agree, and we may disagree, but I'm not backing down. I'm Ari Gronich and this is create a new tomorrow podcast.
Welcome back to another episode of create a new tomorrow. I'm your host Ari Gronich. And here I have with me, Matt Phillips, this guy has trained amazing athletes besides being an elite athlete himself, he is trained in just amazing athletes in performance, business mental toughness. He's an expert and founder of CEO of pro athlete advantage. And, you know, this is somebody who has trained with navy seals, with military with elite athletes. And I just want to you know, preface this by saying mental toughness is so important. Matt, Why is mental toughness, kind of the area that you decided to focus on?
Matt Phillips 1:54
It's interesting, if First of all, thanks for having me, man, it's great to reconnect. This is this is gonna be a blast. But it's interesting, as I look back at my athletic career, and to your point, I was fortunate to play in front of high level division one college baseball professionally overseas, I went into the corporate world and have lived, you know, around the world working for Fortune 500 companies, I've watched my own business over, gosh, nine years ago now. And what I've consistently seen as you progress in these different organizations, right, even sports and organization as you progress in these different areas, the one true differentiator, and every one of those there was consistent across the whole thing was this concept of mental toughness. It's what's going on in between the years that really separates, you know, to steal the Jim Collins thing, the good from the great, right, it's, it separates the people who are just okay at their sport, okay, at their job, to the ones that just really excel. That was the one differentiator I saw, you know, when you look at sports, and you see these individuals get to the highest level, yes, there's absolute physical, like piece to that, right, you have to have a skill set physically to be able to play baseball, or hit a baseball or do all that stuff. But again, when you get to these higher levels, the I don't know, just the competition and skill set of physically, it's pretty, it's pretty comparable. Sure you have like the bronze in the world who are just like, in a positive way just freaks in nature, right. But on a consistent basis, it's like they all can hit a ball, right? You're at that level. So it all comes down to the way you think the way you act way treat yourself that mental toughness. That's why I get so fired up about what I do.
Ari Gronich 3:38
Yeah, you know, absolutely. I had, as you know, could Davis Robinson and and Dominic Arnold, both our Olympic World Champion, I mean, top of the game, top top top of the game. And one of the things that I asked Dominic was, what was the difference? He broke the world record. And he doesn't like to talk about breaking the world record, because it was the same race. He broke the world record about a like, I mean, like a fraction, not even a 10th of a second. I think it was less than a 10th of a second.
Matt Phillips 4:14
Yes.
Ari Gronich 4:15
Before, you know, before the guy who broke the record, right, or am I who broke the record. So I mean, the level of closeness in those two athletes both hundred 10 meter hurdlers right rolling down the strip, and they are less than a 10th of a second one behind the other. So the skill set wasn't the issue. Right. So I always I asked him about what what was the thing? And he's he said, You know, I was running down and I did one minor thing. Yes. Oh, and had my hands Had I pulled back that form just a little bit? It would have been there. But yes, you know, so talk about that 10 second difference between the best in the world and somebody who's probably not going to be remembered?
Matt Phillips 5:16
Yeah, it's, it's fascinating when you think about it, right? Because I think this is true in every area of life, right? relationships, business, sports, it all comes down to, you know, people call it luck, or whatever. I mean, I believe luck doesn't really exist, right? It's all about preparation, then then an opportunity presents itself and you take advantage of it right and sink into it and kind of go into that next level of performance, which we all can tap into, we just sometimes have to let it go. Right, let loose and let it take over. And it was interesting, because when you were talking about like the 10th of a second, I remember I did an interview for my podcast with a guy named Mark Allen and I always find this. I love telling the story. But do you know who Mark Allen is by chance? Yep. Okay, so most of your listeners, I guarantee will not know who Mark Allen is. And he will. Obviously they want this. ESPN named him the greatest endurance athlete of all time. Okay, that's a pretty cool thing. So he is a triathlete. He now does speaking and coaching of triathletes and businesses, all stuff. So it was interesting though, because at one point in his career, he was winning every track on known to known demand, right was winning everything. He's got a record of winning 21 in a row. But every year he would go to the big one in Kona, Hawaii, I'm sure everyone's watched on an on an Iron Man, NBC or whatever. But they do that recap of, you know, the Iron Man track on, like one of the most difficult races in the world. And six years in a row, he lost, right, he would get anywhere from exciting, he was second to fifth place. And it bothered him so much that he was actually not contemplating not going back. I mean, this is the guy. He's literally He's like, Man, I'm winning everything. Like off the island, and I go to the island, and I'm not winning, and I couldn't figure it out. And he decided to give it one more chance to go back one more chance right to go back to the Big Island. He thought maybe I just got the bed. I don't know, bad vibes on the island, I don't know. But his friends and teammates convinced him to go back one more time. And he rattled off six wins in a row. Right? So we lost six, and then one, six. And so I asked him, I said, Mark, I'm like what happened between race six and race seven. Because that's a substantial shift and change right? There. What happened? And he said, it was one small thing. One mindset shift that I had. And this is what I think is so powerful, like in all of our lives, it takes, we think it's this massive change already, right? The women, you know, completely rethink everything and retrain a different way. And we work our business. It's like, no, it's, I bet one small thing that you need to make. And he says, when he reflected back those first six races, his thought process was 100% kind of caught up in how his competitors were training, and how they're going to approach the race.
He decided between race six and seven, that he's going to completely ignore his opponents. And he's going to train to the best of his ability. And when he shows up that day, he's gonna swim his best swim, he's gonna bike his Best Buy, he's gonna run his best run, and he's gonna let the results happen as they want to, but he knows if he shows up his best giving 100% of what he has at every moment in that race, that probably good things will happen. That one mindset shift already lost six, and started winning. And now set a record for winning six of the Iron Man conas in a row, another record. So again, it's when we talk about you know that that 10th of a second we talk about like, going from, you know, getting second place, and all of a sudden, now you're in first place. It's that one shift in his mind. And for Mark, it was the fact of like, stop looking at others and look at myself. And that's where when he told that story, it resonated so well with me of like, it really made me look in the mirror honestly, like, am I showing my best self today? Am I doing the things that I know I need to do? Because we all know what we need to do. But are we doing them? Are we when we look in the mirror at the end of the day? Are we saying yes I utilize my you know, God given gifts and skills to their fullest today I did the things I said I was going to do. I had integrity with myself. That's what makes all the difference in the world. So we could go 15,000 different directions with this. But that really reminded me that story of Mark Allen when we talked about that 10th of a second
Ari Gronich 10:00
That is a That's awesome. Yeah. You know, I was training with Mike Hungerford for quite a while. I don't know if you know who that is. But yeah, Mike Hungerford was the head of all IronMan, for like 40 years. I mean, he had pretty much consulted every president since Kennedy. Her sports and therapy division, right. And I was training with her to take over all of her duties for the Ironman, when, when she passed away. And what I would ask her is, if she felt like, the issues that she was seeing with injuries, and with, you know, pain and with cramping, and all those things that she would see on a regular basis, if any of that happened to the person who won. That was the question I would ask, is the person who's winning, experiencing cramping at the end of their race, when they're done, they might have in the middle, but when they're done, right, and she would say, inevitably, and unequivocally know, that when they won all their pain had left their body that didn't mean that the next day they weren't feeling right moment. You know, the pain was gone. The the trial had lifted. And it was really fascinating to me, because, you know, I've been into the Olympics, I've been to the Paralympics, my favorite actually is the Paralympics be because they, they win gold medals, regularly. And World Championships, and they beat the Olympic athletes, and they beat the world records regularly. But they do so with such a level of humility and humbleness because of their condition that, you know, I tell the Olympic athletes, I'm like, you should be as humble as your Paralympic buddies, because you're not so great. Yes, I think you are. But I think just motivates the more but you know, the idea is that when when your mindset is on, that when the pain goes away, when your mindset is on, you know, for your business, the results that you're getting, the pain goes away, typically. And so let's relate that to away from athletics a little bit. To to life in general. Are you living your best life? day in and day out? And if not, from a mental toughness perspective? Why not? Why do people not live their best life? Every single day? What is? What's the block the obstacle for that?
Matt Phillips 13:13
Yeah, at its basic level, it's, it's the brain doing its job, right? Because the brain is set up. And there's all sorts of neuroscience out there. But it talks about the, the ancient part of our brain, which is, you know, 2 million years old, and its entire job is back when we're cavemen and cave women to protect us at all costs, right? So a saber toothed Tiger is going to jump out, how do I fee or flee or fight or whatever I need to, but the brain is constantly looking for threats around us. And we first have to be able to recognize and just say it out loud, okay, I know my brain does that. Because we have to start creating a different awareness of the way our brain works and the power within and the way we can kind of manipulate it and change it to open up the possibilities instead of constantly looking for the things that are going wrong. The things that are threats, which is going to hold us back, right. So when you're when we perceive something as a threat. So in business, I mean even doing this already, right? So you decided to start this podcast. Awesome, right? Well, I imagine at some point, there was this little bit of fear cropping up. Maybe not you, right? Your senior season, guys like you, you get it. But I'm sure at some point, you were like, Oh my gosh, like are people going to listen to this? How do I reach all the people? What are they going to say? What if I get a bad comment? Like, these are some of the thoughts that start cropping up right and I can say this for myself because my podcasts I was like, I had those same thoughts right. But there's a recognition Why do I move forward? Or do I just say no and not start? And the agent part of your brain is saying stop, because that could be threatening someone could say something bad about you your their perception of you could be Horrible, you're going to feel bad about yourself. This is a threat, please stop. But when we start recognizing that, wait a minute, that's just a piece of data as a piece of information. Now, how do I retrain my brain to say, Oh, I'm going to go and do it anyway. And I'm going to step into that fear. And I'm going to all these different tools that I teach for surround myself with the right people and use this tool or that tool to continue taking a step forward and just record an intro for the podcast, name it, research, how to even set one up, right, if I'm going to take these little steps forward and start creating that momentum to call that kind of a major part of my brain so I can move forward.
Ari Gronich 15:39
Yeah, you know, I have all of those things, right. And what I did is I spent a whole lot of money to take a course, to teach myself how to do podcasts, right. And then I also set up in my brain that because this is called create a new tomorrow, it inevitably will cause some controversy, I am hoping that it causes some controversy, I am hoping that people have negative things to say of it and start conversations about what we're talking about here. Because if we can adjust the status quo just a little bit, and then adjusted again, and then adjusted again. Now all of a sudden, we're making incremental changes, and we're creating a new tomorrow. And so I had to set up in my brain because I am a people pleaser. And you know, it's funny, because you're talking about Mark Allen. And here's my thing, I was a baseball player growing up, I had an 80 mile an hour fastball in Little League. I was I played for eight years, and I was extremely good. I could switch hit I was very, very good. Except for when we had people in the audience, meaning people in the stands. Yes, all of a sudden, I couldn't hit a thing. All sudden, I couldn't get that throw, you know, perfect. Like I had a shotgun from as a catcher, just in baseline on my knees. Yeah, I didn't, I never had to get up off my knees. But during game time, that might have been off by about two feet or so. Right?
Matt Phillips 17:25
Yes.
Ari Gronich 17:26
You know, it was it's the thing about being that people pleaser instead of self pleaser, look, wanting to do great. So that people will be proud of you versus you being proud of you. Yes. And that's a really fascinating dichotomy in the brain, how that happens, because we are set for fight or flight. Yes, we're not really, you know, they say that our brain has some motivation and pleasure. But the pleasure side of that motivation can be triggered more by alleviating the pain than going after pleasure. So it's kind of interesting. So let's talk a little bit about that, and how the brain works in order, because the goal of this podcast is to change the world. So we want to give everybody like things that they can do immediately. So and, you know, begin changing their tomorrow. So, you know, let's talk a little bit about what that looks like.
Matt Phillips 18:30
Yeah, it's interesting. There's so many, there's so many cool parts of the brain. And, you know, this word awareness, right, creating this awareness inside of AI, what are we thinking? What are we saying? And you're 100%? Right? It all starts with this self confidence. Like when I talk about, you know, the kind of model that I use, there's these these five different kind of attributes. So it's competence. So when I when I say when I say mental toughness, right, so first of all, what let's take a step back, when I say that I, you know, I'm on a mission to build, you know, mentally tough business leaders, mentally tough professional athletes, like, fill in the blank, right? The where I always start is like, we have to define what being mentally tough actually means, right? It's, it's, I don't know, it's like being a great leader, right? If I walk in your office bag, be a great leader today or be a better leader today. And then I walk out you're like, what, like,
Ari Gronich 19:27
Yeah, what does that mean?
Matt Phillips 19:28
to be 1000? Things like, what does that mean? So with mental toughness, there's kind of five elements away I talked about so it's confidence, focus, emotional control, energy, and then consistent action, right. So if I wake up every single day, and I'm confident in myself, I'm focused, I'm emotionally in control. I have the energy I need to perform at a higher level and I'm focused on taking consistent action towards my goals. You're gonna wake up one day saying Holy crap, I just like went past my goal, right? It's just going to happen but the core of it It starts with the confidence piece that you talked about. Everything comes from self belief, watching a podcast, starting a business asking a girl or guy on a date. It's like the simplest things in the world. It starts with that belief in yourself. And so I spend a lot of time there with, with people just becoming aware of your thoughts and the way you speak. Because it gives you amazing insight into what you truly believe about yourself. Right? If you're that kind of person that is constantly discounting themselves and saying, you know, can't take a compliment, right? So you say, Oh, that was a awesome podcast. I had a ton of fun today already. If I say that at the end, and you're like, Yeah, but and then you fill in something else? Well, come on, man, and just say thank you, right, say thank you, except that right, but then we discount ourselves. So it's, the language we use is very crucial. So two things I'll kind of talk about real quick. One is, it's really simple things, right? It's starting to write down what you say and what you think, what's going on in your head. Because, again, the thoughts are powerful, the words we speak are powerful. But unless we actually write down what they are, we're never going to know, right? It's like my wife has a nutrition coaching business. It's awesome. She got feedback from a client just the other day, as a matter of fact, she had him do a food journal, because we all sit there and say, Oh, yeah, I eat pretty well. I, you know, I drink enough water, I do all this stuff off, what do you write it down. And you see it as a piece of data, no judgment, just a piece of data in front of you, it gives you additional information upon which to act. It's really that simple. So the same thing is true of our thoughts and our words, of write them down on a piece of paper. So you can see kind of what you're feeding yourself.
Ari Gronich 21:50
I just I just want to emphasize before you go on really clearly what you just said to the audience. So audience, if you're listening to this, what he just said, is that, that information is just data. It's not good or bad. It's just information. And I know that some of you who have been on diets and some of you who have been in plans to get healthy, judge yourself for the choices that you're making. And the data that you're looking at, rather than just accepting that this is data. And tomorrow is a different set of data if you make a different set of choices. So I just want to emphasize that because I think a lot of people tend to take data and create a lot of meaning about that data. Right? This is one of the things from landmark and lifespring is we're meaning making machines, and we make meaning out of everything, even if it has no meaning inherently in it, of it of itself. So I just wanted to emphasize that really quickly for the audience keep going.
Matt Phillips 22:56
That's a key part. Because as soon as we attach an emotion to it, that's where we get in trouble. And that can be positive or negative. Right? Whenever we attach an emotion to some piece of information, that's where we tend to get a lot of trouble in business and relationships and all that as well. Right? We make assumptions we Yeah, so that's a huge, huge piece. So simply writing stuff down is amazing. And then switching it right. Because when you look at the way the brain works,
and again, I'm sure you all
are aware of this, but I want to emphasize it again, like your brain is malleable, we can we can manipulate it, we can change it, we can create different neural pathways, and we can break old neural pathways that aren't serving us anymore, create new ones, they're gonna help, like accelerate us forward and get us to where we want to go in our lives, right? That's my mission, like what you're here, you want to go Here, let me help you bridge that gap. Let's close that time gap, to getting to where you where you want to go. And you can make your brain and there's so much science that we know that we scraped the surface of it so far on the brain. But simply, you know, they've done studies around like negativity versus positivity, and what your cellular activity actually does based on those thoughts. And they can actually see, like when you feed yourself a negative thought over and over and over again, two things happen. One is we're going back to science class. Now, this is great. But we have little cells, right? And they got the nucleus and all that stuff. Well, they have every thought creates a neuropeptide. Right. And so peptides like it's a physical thing. It's an amino acid, it's a protein it's sent from your brain through your bloodstream and your cells grab onto it. Well, there's these little neurons, kind of transmitters that stick out of the cell and grab on to the peptides. And if you send the same type of thought over and over and over again, this this stuff blows me away. It it's amazing how powerful we are. But if you have the same thought positive or negative, over and over and over again, the cell recognized You're continuing to send that. So it creates these kind of grows multiple kind of tentacles that grab more of that thought. And then I can measure and say, if you send negativity, your cells actually slow down your energy level drops based on those thoughts. So I'm a simple guy Ari. But I look at that. And I'm like, Oh, my gosh, like, what do I want to be feeding myself? Right? Is it something that's positive? Is it something where, you know, I want them to accept more of what I'm sending it? Or do I want to continue making the choice, right, because that's, to your point just a minute ago, right, we have a choice, I have a choice of what I send my body, I have a choice of what I say to others, I have a choice to what I say to myself. And if I want to show up with the most energy possible every day, I better be feeding myself. Because that's the basic level of the way we function, I better be setting myself that positivity.
Ari Gronich 25:50
Right. So we're gonna break this down a little bit deeper for the audience, because, you know, and I'll give you examples for me, I absolutely dislike the concept of affirmations and positive thinking. Because when that's being done, or taught or told, it comes across as very fake, which means that your body recognizes that as a lie, which means that you're you actually go deeper into the negative versus you're saying all these positive things, but your body is going That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. That's a lie. And all of a sudden, you're you're doing the opposite for yourself. So, you know, a lot of people and a lot of gurus and a lot of the experts in the field says positive thinking do affirmations do, you know, do this stuff and I'm more of like, let's get really down and dirty with why I'm having these negative thoughts to begin with. And I like doing a lot of mirror work, where I'm staring in the mirror, telling myself all of these nasty things until I get to a place that I break down. And I could go, Okay, what was real in that and what isn't real, what's my mind what's not. So I'm actually going to what I consider to be a reality check versus doing this as a Pollyanna kind of thing. So let's get down a little bit so that people get an idea. Because I don't want this to be, you know, let's get motivated, right and think positive. And your whole life will change. Because that has a lot and it hasn't worked for a majority of people.
Matt Phillips 27:43
It hasn't it, I think there's a couple things. One is, we have to understand, because we're, we're a society based on instant gratification, right, and they've done the marshmallow test in the past and this other study around, you know, $2 versus $1. But looking at instant versus delayed gratification, and we're all looking for the magic pill, me included, we're looking for the magic pill, or the silver bullet, or whatever you want to call it, that I want results, and I want them now and I want them fast. And I think that's where this, like affirmations and positive thinking it gets a bad rap, because I believe in those things. But there's a belief that I have to consistently do them, because it's not going to happen overnight. Right. So that's where I think we get in a lot of trouble. And that's where when I'm talking with different groups and client, as it's like, let's start with the science, I need you to understand the way your brain works First, and why we're really doing this. And and then let's put a plan together. So you consistently apply those things, because it's, it's the compounding effect, right? We we know this from a financial investment perspective, that if I take you know, small bits of interest are small bits of dividends, and I reinvest them in the market, like over time as they grow, I will retire a millionaire at least that's the goal, right? Well, the same thing is true of our health, of pain management of growing a business of, of starting to kind of rewire your brain and and to become that person that that you know you can be. It comes with consistency. It's compounding one little shift in a thought it because the next time you do it, you're building upon that you're building upon that you're building upon that. So it's about consistency. I mean, there's all the studies on habits out there right now, right? And some say it takes 30 days, some days, 60 days, 90 days, 120 days, whatever the number is, if we simply put things in place that we know we can achieve and consistently apply. That's going to get us where we want to go so we don't default back to like oh, this is stupid. Oh, the affirmation didn't work. Well, the affirmation didn't work. Because you did it two times. Like Yeah, yeah. You know, you know, when I When I'm trying to sell a speech or do something like that, I could make two calls. And I might be over two and then I'm like, Well, that doesn't work. Well, is that? Is that really right, Matt? Because you kind of gave up pretty quick, right? They must not like me, they must not like my stuff. No, no. Maybe you just need to pivot maybe to adjust. Maybe you need to look at it as data and information, decide what do you want to do? going forward? Again, no judgment, what do I want to do? So that's where I think when we when we start doing this brain training, right, and this is true of anything. And I always liken it to like, if you're married, or dating someone, and you ask women, would you like a dozen roses once a year or one Rose 12 times a year? For each month? What do you think their answer is? 12 times a year. Right? Although that's true. That's a good point. That's a good point.
Ari Gronich 30:58
I want the one a month, and then I want it, you know, at least two or three times, I want the 12.
Matt Phillips 31:03
That's right. That's right. They want it all. But no, but you look at that. Yeah, it's like it. But it's like the women want the consistency, right? So it's that consistent. I love you consistently, not just like once a year and like, then off we go. So when we when we start doing this if we're what that ultimate success. I mean, they'll get a professional athletes sorry. They've got to put up with a lot of different things. A lot of people saying things this is true in business as well. Some naysayers, some people are behind them. But if they consistently train at their sport, and work every single day, that's what that's what's gonna get into the highest level. That's what's gonna give eyes. All
Ari Gronich 31:48
right, so let's talk a little bit about the brain and how that works. Let's, let's say, just as a scenario, you're the guy that is motivated by the naysayers and I'm the guy that's not, you know, motivated by the the positive affirmations that people are sending me, right? Yes. There's two different kinds of brains and reactions and responding to stimulus. Right. So most people that I've seen, tend to be more motivated by the naysayers than they are by the positive, it's harder for people to accept a compliment than it is to accept the negative, and then try to even turn that negative into a positive but get what's the science behind that the neuroscience behind that?
Matt Phillips 32:45
Yeah, it's so it's all the same, right? So we take whatever information we have, we internalize it, we attach an emotion to it. And then some sort of action happens from that, or inaction from that. And so to your point, yes. Like we're all motivated by different things, right? I'm a very positive guy. I love you know, when people compliment you know what I do? I'm a people pleaser, as well, just like you. But one of my biggest fears, ultimately, when you boil it down, I'm not scared of failure, like I, it is what it is, I play the game based on failure, right? I mean, you, you get a hit three out of 10 times, which means you fail seven out of 10 times, you could be in the Hall of Fame. If you're playing in the major leagues, right, you're, you're doing pretty well, you're counting your money and life is in theory, good. So it's not the fear of failure, but it's the and this is where truthfulness comes in like with yourself, right? Having integrity with yourself, like what are you really scared of? For me? It's like what other people say, and what they're going to think. Right? So if I'm doing well, they're going to be really behind me if I'm doing poorly, and this is what you see in sports, too, right? You see, all the naysayers come out. And all of a sudden, you're supposed to best friends are now completely against you and hate you because you can't hit a ball for make a sale or whatever. So it's, but it's all the same of like, whether it's a naysayer, whether it's someone positive. It's like how am I internalizing and attaching an emotion to it, which is leading to that thought which led to that action or, or lack of action? And that's where that like awareness, like comes in, right? Because again, if you're scared of that, the brain is going to automatically the reptilian part of your brain is going to say Run, run, run. Just don't don't do anything. Get out of here. You're in big, big trouble. And you can't overcome this right? There's no way I'm here to protect you and go. What's interesting is when we have these like big spikes in emotion, this there's different brainwaves. Have you ever done brainwave training? Like, have your brainwaves monitor? Yeah, it's pretty incredible. So there's, I won't go into it too much. But when you're awake, right, you're in your beta brainwaves are in full force, okay. And there are three levels of beta brainwaves, there's low, medium, high, right, appropriately named. And so throughout the day, you're in these different kind of levels of beta. Well, if you attach like something very emotional to it, and you go into fight or flight response, and that could be at a meeting at work, it could be all these different situations, it could be something bad on social media, somebody says something bad to you, you can be thrown into high beta. And high beta is fight or flight response. What actually happens when you go to high beta is your prefrontal cortex, which is like a logical part of your brain, it actually shuts down. Because all your brain and body are worried about is getting you out of that situation, right, fleeing, freezing, whatever, but it's wants to get you out of that situation. So that's where most people sit, we allow that high beta to kind of control our lives, instead of understanding that we have the power inside us to manipulate our brainwave activity, we can do that, we can actually pull ourselves out of high beta, and to lower our beta to turn our brain basically back on. So we can logically think about a scenario and what action I want to take going forward. So it's simply you taking, you know, five to six deep breaths sounds silly sounds like oh, that won't work, what it's doing, it does work, because it's pulling you out of high beta to a lower beta turning your brain back on so you can make a decision of what you need to do.
Ari Gronich 36:44
Yeah, you know, I just I just want to emphasize one point here, just because I'm a science geek and therapist, and that's what I do is when you're doing those breaths, if you're breathing both in and out your nose, you'll shut your adrenal glands down and allow them to relax, you'll shut down cortisol levels, you'll allow your body to go into more of a sympathetic parasympathetic nervous system. Yeah. If you breathe through your mouth, when you're in that state, and this is a trick for athletes as well, if they're running a long marathon to breathe through their nose versus breathing out their out and in their mouth, is you turn on cortisol, you turn on the adrenal glands. And that can cause the anxiety to get higher. That's why when you see people in there, it's all always through their their mouth that the anxiety is showing. And then if you turn that inward, breathe through your nose, you'll shut the adrenal glands down, much, much faster, and allow your body to go into that response of frontal cortex versus reptilian brain fighter.
Matt Phillips 38:04
Yes. That's a great point. Yeah, cuz it's slow call control breaths, right, which you have the control if you choose to take it. So it's a huge, it's a huge piece that again, we feel like we're under threat, like we were, I say, in the US, you know, first world problems, right? First of all problems, like, didn't make the sale, this big contract or like ay, is all these like funny terms, but they're still perceived threats. So whether you're the you know, first world and you live in, in the US or whatever, it's still perceived threat. So it's the way you control that though, that pulls you back, now I can make a proper decision. So it's just understanding the power you have within you. So the other go ahead or
Ari Gronich 38:53
so maybe, maybe we'll do this in a minute let you finish what you're what you're saying, but I want to pull this microscope and and make it a little bit more of a macro. You're living in a community, we're living in a town we're living in a city right now, where threats are perceived at a much higher rate. You have people who live in poor neighborhoods, who basically equivalent make that the equivocal value of living in that neighborhood to living in a to being in a war zone. And so if we're, if we're gonna make systemic changes, and create a different response outlet for people, right? More on a macro level, how do we get the people who are living through what they the perception is of a warzone in these poor neighborhoods where they really are threatened with their life on a pretty daily basis. Right? How do we shift that? Because I, you know, I see a lot of people with their judgment hats on, you know, well, they shouldn't be doing it this way. And they shouldn't be doing it that way. And they should be this and they should be that. Right? Yeah, I want to I want to take this back to more of the science and your and your realm of expertise, because this is an issue that can be solved if we can recognize the causation of the root problems for it. And, you know, hopefully fast, not slowly eliminating those causes. And, you know, situation. So let's talk about that macro level a little bit.
Matt Phillips 40:49
Yeah, we're gonna do some deep stuff. Oh, my gosh, I like it. You know, at its core, it's interesting, because I think what, what started coming up a lot recently, it's all fear based, that we're dealing with right now. Right? So whether it's color of your skin, or your economic status, or social status, or like your belief about a presidential election, like we're all fear, kind of based, right? Because, again, like, because our brains built to protect us. I mean, even with this presidential election coming up, I can't tell you. And I've had to stop myself at certain points being like, if this person wins versus this person wins. What does that do to the economy? From a business perspective? What does that do to the stock market? What does it do to regulation in business? What does it do to access to health care? Or not? Right? So there's all these different scenarios that like I've been going through, I'm sure everyone's going through, and it can fuel like a massive amount of emotion to it, right? So again, we have to constantly, like take that step back. And understand what like what we've talked before, not to repeat, but like, understand the way your brain works, right? And we've got to be able to take a step back, pull ourselves back and back. Okay, wait a minute, I have this choice to look at this as data and information and figure out what can I control in this situation? Right, how can I influence the decision? Yeah, one thing that, you know, we look at everything going on right now, in this crazy world we seem to be living in right now. First of all, it can be crazy or cannot be crazy, right? We can be dealing with a situation and it is what it is. And it's just another bit of adversity that we have to face. And maybe the media has made it way bigger than it has to be, maybe they haven't. But it goes back to like, a understanding of that confidence in yourself of like I've dealt with adversity before. Yes, this looks a little different. It feels a little different. But I've been successful before. So how do I want to deal with this going forward, keeping the creative parts of the brain looking for the opportunities that are out there? It's being able to look at someone and say, with the confidence in myself of like, Can we have a discussion on this based on facts and had the ability to kind of separate our emotions out of it and had that conversation and get to logically what steps are going to move this forward and keep us out of that kind of emotional tense, stressful, cortisol filled, high beta filled state where nothing is going to happen? And I think that's where we're at right now of like getting back to like with this Coronavirus stuff. I'm a big believer in like, let's look at the facts. Let's look at the data behind it because there are stories being told out there from both sides and in the middle of what should be happening and who should be doing what well by my personal opinion, not on Coronavirus but this the same thing of like doing some of the shootings that have happened and presidential election coming up all this stuff, is we have to have that ability to pull ourselves back and back. Okay, what do I want to influence and what can I control the situation? And what action Am I willing to do to facilitate change to stop change to but what do I want to do in this moment, but I've got to come at it from a state of logic and data not emotions, which is not gonna, again, move the needle here. So when like some of the shootings happened to Black Lives Matter started popping up stuff like that. I mean, I've had personally decided that I'm going to call some of my, some of my friends and and try to figure out like, how can I help How is uh, you know, I'm a white male and obviously you can see the header, but how do I as a white male Have I been doing enough? What can I be doing differently? How can I help support like this movement and like what's going on and like, change the lives of people and, and understand that it's not? We can approach this differently, not from a place of fear, but a place of like opportunity and growth? And how can I best step into that? Knowing that I don't know everything, but I better prompt my brain to learn, and figure out where do I want to be involved?
Ari Gronich 45:26
So all of that, you know, that sounds good, right? Yep. But as we know, there are a lot of people who not only don't see the facts the same way. Right? The facts these days, it's really difficult to see facts that are actual facts, because, you know, with whether it's with a virus or a pandemic, and I try to not get too detailed into those individual things, Black Lives Matter, you know, there are a lot of people who wouldn't have your perspective of what have I been doing? What can I do? What, you know, I don't, it's there's a lot of defensiveness, I'm not racist. So therefore, you should not be whatever, right? I am not this, therefore, this doesn't exist. Right? So perception. Yes, you know, versus reality. So getting beyond the, I'm not your I'm being defensive, you should, you know, and all those things, how do we pull ourselves back away from that emotional attachment? and say, I may not experience life the way you experience life. But that doesn't mean that your experience of life is wrong or is incorrect? How do we get to that place where it's like, I haven't experienced this. But obviously you have. And from that place, we could make a conversation versus i'm not i'm not i'm not. It's not good. It's not society. It's not systems. It's correct. Individual people's experiences.
Matt Phillips 47:33
Yes. We think about it again, it goes back to like, what do they fear? Anyone? They say that? What are they hearing? Is it perceptions of what other people are going to say about them? Maybe they've done something in the past that wouldn't look so good. They're afraid of being found out that there is some sort of imposter, like, what's the underlying piece of it? Right? So, but from my perspective, the way I look at it is like, first of all, it's not my job to convince other people, right, that they're entitled to their opinions they're entitled to their thoughts are entitled to their beliefs about anything and everything. It's not my job to convince them. My job is to make sure that I show up with the greatest amount of information that I have possible that I kind of approach things every day to make sure I'm under like uncovering the truth and like looking as best I can at what the truth is, so I can make the best decision possible. That's a choice that I have made. And I think it comes down to everyone's choice of, like, every single day of like, what do I want to do with this? Because I can't I have to control the controllables. Right? In sports, we talked about this all the time control the controllables. I don't know what the other team is doing. I don't know what the coach is doing. I don't want to in baseball, I don't know what pitch is coming. I you can't, yeah, you can try all the best tricks you can to figure out what they're gonna throw but at the end the day you don't know. So it's control the controllables. And in this case, I like when I step up to the plate, I know I've gone through my routine, I know that I'm mentally prepared, I know that if nothing else, I'm going to look at his release point. Because that's where you're supposed to look not look him dead in the eyes. So that can pick up the ball as quick as possible and see what spin is coming, then I can make my adjustment and either swing or not, or take whatever action I need to right. And the same thing is true in life of when we approach things approach in a way of like, what can I control on the situation? How do I want to prepare myself for the situation so I can react the best and come out the other side? as best I can for my family for myself for the like to prepare us for whatever you know might be coming even though we don't know what's coming. So and I think that's a huge thing of like you look back at that Mark Alyn story, he was so worried about what others were doing, and how what they were doing instead of saying, Well, well, well, well. That's great that they're doing whatever they're doing, but am I worried about them or Am I worried about, like how I show up my best self every day? And I think that's where this gap is right now. of, it seems like and I've fallen in this trap too, a little bit, but, but we're so worried about, like, what the media is doing and what these other people are doing what the President's, you know, Alexa are doing like, Okay, hold on a minute, am I taking full ownership of my piece of the puzzle here? And knowing that it's people are gonna disagree, that's fine. It's not chipping away at myself believe we just happen to agree to disagree on this topic. And that's okay. And it stops there. Period, not a comma. But I must say, it's not diving into hurting ourselves, like, right, chipping away at our self belief, but it's I just stopped like, their period of we choose the agree to disagree on this situation. But I'm gonna take the steps necessary to go forward. So yes, it's that ownership mentality that has to has to occur, right? It's no different than I hear people all the time of like, you know, are these people aren't doing enough about whatever? Okay, my next question to them is like, so are you getting involved in it to go facilitate the change? Or are you just going to sit here and complain about it from this emotional state, instead of taking action forward? It goes back to that ownership, right? I can say in baseball, I want to hit, you know, more home runs, well, I never practice changing my swing or shifting my swing to hit the homeruns never gonna hit a home run. Or I may every once in a while, but I have got to be willing to make the adjustment and take action on it, not just talk the talk, but actually walk the walk, that's what's going to completely shift. Like the way we're going in this world, right? It comes down to what's the data, what action Am I going to take and go from there, I always I'll tell a quick story. When I started my business, it goes back to data, right? data is so important. It's just it's information not to judge yourself but the tape to make an adjustment, right? Sometimes you have to dig really hard to get to the truth in the data. But I also start when I started out my business I people know and I'm an accountant by trade, right? So I had my CPA and I came up in the accounting world, we don't judge me Everyone, but but I'm a far hungry recovering CPA right now. But But you know, I far cry from that now. But I knew that I should be looking at my numbers, right, I should be looking at my revenue. And I should be looking at other metrics that I know are kind of driving my business forward. Guess what I never did Ari.
Ari Gronich 52:43
Never did your books.
Matt Phillips 52:45
Never did my books, never looked at my numbers. Do you know why?
Ari Gronich 52:49
why
Matt Phillips 52:50
is because I was scared of the story was going to tell me that fear caught up to me that like, I don't want to look at the data, for fear that it's going to tell me that maybe I'm off track. Maybe I'm on track, but I don't really want to find out. So I'm not going to look like not looking at my batting average in baseball to see like, hey, am I hitting well, or not just as a data point to be like, hey, I need to pick it up. Or, like, what's gone? Well, what's gone wrong. And so I've trained myself over time to understand that like, whatever is out there is out there, I've got to look at the data, I've got to just sit with it for a bit, not judge what's going on not judge what other people are saying or thinking or perceiving of me and my business or the world and figure out what action I can take based off that information. It's really that simple. But it's a brain thing of like getting out of that reptilian part of the brain, getting more logical, keep the emotion separate to say, wait a minute, this is the step I'm going to take forward now.
Ari Gronich 53:53
Gotcha. So there's a there's a tool that we used to use when I was participating in Sterling Institute of relationships, and their, their men's programs and division, you know, men's divisions and stuff. And the tool is called the world sucks chart. It's an interesting tool, because it's a it's an inverted pyramid, basically, and it starts with the self. And then it goes to the family. And then it goes to your community like your block, right? Yes, the larger community, the city, the county, the state, right, the country, other countries. So you get to the world, right? And it's designed to give you a ladder to climb. So that which is why it kind of sucks Because you always need to be on the number one on the on the bottom rung. While you're doing everything else, right? You always need to be. That's why it sucks. You have to be really flexible. Be able to stretch this far. But you have to act for yourself first. Yes. But unfortunately, what sucks is most people stop there, or they stop at the next level, which is family. Right? So we're seeing this massive thing of, you know, we got politics going right now. And the politics are national politics. Yes. However, the issues are almost all very local. And so we have people who are focused on two different places, themselves and family and the world at large. And the rest of it is being eroded. The rest of the ladder is rusting away, because nobody's using it to oil it up with their handprints, you know, and their body oils. It's all rusting, because nobody's getting into these little pieces, right? And so we've got to go back to this idea of, we have to act locally, in order to create world change. So how do we get the mindset away from this, we've got national news and world news all the time nowadays, right? We have every is this big, huge, massive scale picture, which, frankly, is part of what I think is causing people to go into fight or flight. You can't focus on the world until you're taken care of until your family is taken care of until your community is taken care of until your city is right. That's the ladder and why it's called the world sucks chart, because I want to do is go from here to here and just fix the world. And what we need to do is make sure we're acting and so I'm going back to your premise at the beginning of our conversation, right? about taking that self inventory, and acting as your best self every day, create the habits and stuff, and then incorporating the next step, which is the family and then incorporating. And this is one of my biggest issues too. Because, you know, frankly, I want to change the world, I look at the world and I go this world, you know, is not operating for peak performance. I want to get better results. So how do we get better results. And that's where I focus and I sometimes will lose, focus on self care, taking care of my own body, my own needs, and then my family's body and my family's needs. And so how do we get people to kind of take that step down and back. So that we can make that bigger impact on the world.
Matt Phillips 58:19
I simply put in one of our kind of marching orders is energy, right? I believe if you show up every single day with more energy than the person sitting across from you, in front of you, in the audience that you're talking to whatever, if you show up with more energy than them, the chances are, you're going to influence them in a positive way, right, assuming positive energy you're bringing across, right. And to your point, if we're going to show up and have a big impact with our kids, with our families, with the people we work with the people we want to work with, we have got to ensure that we are doing the right things mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, we're doing the inner work that we need to do so that when I step on that stage, or get on that podcast, or go to the office or step on that sporting field, that I'm showing up by here I come here I calm and right now I've given you 100% of what I have, I may have 50% right when you talk about these long battles, lace long races like that track on these talk to mark out he said at certain points, I only had 50%. But he said I was giving you 100% of 50%. Right? So it's how do we show up with 100% of of who we are so that we can take the action necessary to influence the people in front of us that ultimately had that kind of cascading change down the line. So it's a conscious decision. Like one thing I do every morning I've got like right here. But there's certain things that I teach that I actually practice what I preach in I've got, you know what I call my stand and it's the B is the principles and values that are guiding my life. It's the behaviors and actions and reactions. It's basically the way I want to show up every day. And the actions I'm going to take to do that. I read that every morning. And it's level setting me to be I go, Wait a minute, I'm asking all these other people to do these things. But if I'm not what's back up? If I'm not willing to do those things, then why should I expect them to do those things? So again, it's his choice every morning, or it could be at night, it could be whatever, but pick a time during the day, we're going to take a step back and look at yourself and say, am I doing the things? Am I pointing the fingers back at me? Right? Because you, I'm sure heard the saying, when you point your finger at someone, there's three fingers pointing back at you. Right, right. So if your other fingers pointing back at you, like, Am I doing those right things? That's just it's a simple conscious decision. But setting aside five minutes, 10 minutes a day, literally, to look at yourself and say, Okay, how am I how am I showing up today? To have this big impact? Because and that's the other key part. It's how do I show up my best self so I can have the biggest impact with others. It's a focus on others, the biggest lesson I learned, and I've been fortunate to speak on, you know, some pretty big stages and have some for some pretty big people. And it's been awesome. But there was a significant shift I had one day where, when I started out my career speaking, it was all about I got to say the right thing at the right time with the right inflection with the right step and motion as I went into the words, right? It was about me. It was about like, I better show up perfect, I better be perfect up there. Because then my message will get delivered. It had nothing to do with who was sitting in the audience. And it was a number of years ago, I had this like epiphany and shift of like, this has nothing to do with me. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing. It doesn't matter. Like I'm going to say what needs to be said, I'm going to prepare the heck out of it. Right? But it's how do I make those people sitting in that audience? Or even on his podcast, or a one on one conversation or a coffee? How do I make them successful? How do I need to show up so that they're successful? And so as this balances Yin and Yang, have I, I've got to be my best if they're going to be their best. And if they're going to be their best that I haven't everybody. So it says yin and yang back and forth. But this decision every single day that I'm going to choose this, like, How cool is this, that I get this choice to wake up and like read this or spiritually prepare or make a to do list but I can show up prepared today. So I'm going to go kick some butt so I can control the controllables and, and have the influence that I was put on this earth to make. It's this simple. But I don't know, seemingly difficult decision that we each get to make every day and most of us 99% just say whatever, I'll just deal with what the day brings, instead of saying, Wait a minute, no, no. I'm going to show up a certain way and I'm going to influence the outcome of what this world is going to be.
Ari Gronich 1:02:57
Cool. So one of my things you said the word influencer a few times there. So I'm gonna I'm gonna share one of my discontentment, right with influencers and my discontentment right now with influencers, impactors, people who are making a stand for something is that they're doing so in a way that works for them. And not necessarily in a way that works for the people that they're trying to impact. Right? Yes. And so when when I look at my career, as a, you know, Olympic Paralympic Pro, athlete, trainer, you know, therapist, I'm working on their bodies, I'm working on their minds, I'm working on their nutrition, I'm working on all kinds of things. But the one thing that that I always did, always had to do if I wanted to get the results that I wanted to get as I had to do a really thorough client intake. A really thorough one, because I had to find out exactly who this person was. That was in front of me, not just the stats that they had not just their data, but I had to know this these people if I wanted to get the results. That meant the difference between first place and last place that prints even between first place in fourth place, which is even more, you know, disconcerting for some Yes, we had we had to get results if we didn't get results and I say this a lot. If we didn't get results. I didn't have a job. I didn't business and people don't seem to get the results that I would like to see impactors, right, I look at somebody and I'm gonna I'm not gonna call him out but I'm gonna say this person impacts 10s of thousands Dozens of people sometimes at once, right in big rooms. And 90 something percent of the people that are there will be motivated for two to three weeks. And then we'll need to either go back to another event to continue their motivation or they fall, fall off about maybe 10% of those people, maybe 5% of the people take the actionable steps, spend six months, maybe even a year doing the things that they're being told, and then they fall off. And then maybe the other 4%, right, great long term change, and then maybe 1% is gonna be the biggest, you know, next new thing, right? So I'm making up these numbers. Obviously, this is this is my
Matt Phillips 1:05:55
new year's resolutions that Yeah, absolutely key god,
Ari Gronich 1:05:59
it's my belief in numbers. But this is a basic premise. So I want to change that those numbers. So I actually, I've been developing a mastermind course, that I'm designing the same way I as I designed a athlete going from an injury to a gold medal or World Championship, because everybody's starting with some kind of injury. Yes, some kind of mental emotional trauma, injury, something that and so I figured, if I designed this in a certain way, then I'm going to get 90% having the results, not 90% not having the results, right, I'm going to switch flip the switch on it, I'm just have, there's still going to be 10% of the people that, you know, you just can't help your might not be the right person for correct. But the idea is, is to design things that work for the majority versus the minority. So I get pissed off a bit. Because I see them taking everybody's money and lowering the value. Because they're charging a lot and they're getting very poor results in many cases. And so the value goes down, even though the price is going up, and then somebody like me comes along, or somebody like you comes along, and these massive skills, right? Yes, to get more of the 90% to get better results. And though and we're the ones typically, who while we may not necessarily be struggling, but we're not the ones that are on stage. So I want to kind of flip the switch on on this a little bit and find out both how we can impact these impactors more so that they are really designing to get better results corporations designing to get results. Governments designing to get results systems in general design results. How do we switch this so that I can be calmer?
Matt Phillips 1:08:11
Yeah. Well, and Ari, it's funny, like my as you were talking about that. My two thoughts one is like why are you following these people? You got the answer? This is more rhetorical. Let me talk about that for a minute. Because we spend, we only have so much energy during the day, right? So you wake up with a certain amount of energy. And that's how we go to sleep at night because we've expended the energy and need to recharge, right. So we've got these, I don't know, I'll call little coins in a piggy bank, right? And we only got so many withdrawals from the piggy bank before pig needs to go to sleep again. Well, we spend so much of our time expending energy on things that really don't matter. So that's why my first question of like, when we start getting heated and like, like, I don't know, too excited about that stuff, right? I again, I've been there. But it's like, why are they doing well, or, or whatever. But again, now now we're focusing all of our attention and energy on someone else, that we have zero influence over who they have made their choice, and we're putting expectations on those people, but you should be doing this, you should be having a different influence there. That's not our problem. That's not our choice. That is their choice to wake up and make that decision for themselves every day. So if we start stop putting our expectations on others, and instead take our energy and figure out okay, what one thing I learned in sports is I would always compare myself to other players, right? And they were a lot bigger, stronger, faster, all that stuff and hit the ball further. All that stuff, right. That didn't serve me very well because I was watching them and Instead of working on what I needed to work on, to maximize my potential, right, and hit a baseball as far as I could, I was more worried about what they were doing and focused and listened watching and, oh, this sucks and not now the negativity starts right while I'm taking no action on the other side. So what I learned over time is to say, to look at these other people out there, and come with this attitude of gratitude, right? It sounds ridiculous. And people are like, Oh my gosh, like, they have this attitude of gratitude, blah, blah, blah, well, the reason you have this attitude of gratitude, and again, their studies around this, that when you when you like, say you're thankful for something, and it could be something completely unrelated to like this situation, like your cortisol actually drops and cortisol is your stress. And they've been studies on this stuff. It's not I'm not making this stuff up on this side. They've been studies that like I'm thankful for. I don't know what am I? What am I looking at here? a selfie stick I got a selfie sticks. No, I That's right, I could say I'm thankful for the selfie stick. I like what, but that has this effect of actually lowering your stress level, your record is all right, if you consistently practice that. So what I learned in sports is to look at other people and other athletes and guy, you know, that's, that's pretty incredible. I'm very thankful that they have that ability, and they can hit the ball that far and do all this stuff. And then I have the shift of what do I need to do right now? to, again, show up my best self to maximize my potential, like, what do I need to get to work on so that I can get to my people, right? There people may not be My people, how do we get to my people, so I can have the influence that I know I can have and get the results for those individuals. And then if those other people over here want to come? That's great, we're getting we're doing some cool stuff over here. But I'm going to take control of my world and really own way that on every on every, every single day. Does that make sense? So it's like stopping looking, pausing, being thankful for what they're doing, and stop putting up or sneezes on them? And, and then saying, What do I need to do right now and shift that and the quicker you do that, you want to do that? That's where you get the momentum in your business, and your life everywhere in life?
Ari Gronich 1:12:12
Yes, if for me, I get the motivation to do things differently, by what I see other people not doing, in my opinion, what would be as optimized and so I learn from them what they're not doing, I have gaps in their training. And then that's when I come in all taken and reinvigorate their trainings and make them a little bit more effective and get better results with them.
Matt Phillips 1:12:46
And that's the key though, is like you're taking that whatever that is that emotion and you're saying, I'm going to use this positively and like actually do something with it, where most don't make that decision. We sit with and continue to look at those other people, other people, other people and stew and then all of a sudden, a day goes by a week goes by a year goes by. And we're no closer to our end result than where we were before.
Ari Gronich 1:13:13
Right? So what are your your contributions that you were talking about? Before we got on this call that you want to make is you want to help people get out of their own way. You want to help people tap into the power of their brain and help them achieve their wildest goals. That's a great thing to want to impact and people. How do you get people to begin the process of getting out of their own ways when it when it comes to things like somebody living a life that they think that they should be living, even though it's not the life they want to live. So for instance, somebody who's going to a job 40 hours a week or 60 hours a week, and isn't really doing the thing that they're passionate about, but they're doing it because they think that that's what they need to do to make money.
Matt Phillips 1:14:11
I told you a little bit ago, I grew up in accounting. I fully understand that. I was good at accounting. I was good at auditing. But there there was always this I knew there was something greater I knew there was something bigger. You know, I grew up with a belief that I was supposed to go to high school, get good grades, go to college, get good grades, get a good job, climb the corporate ladder, become a CEO one day. Awesome. That's what I did. That's the path I fall because I believe I grew up with that belief, right? That was something that I told my mom like she really influenced me with because my dad was a salesman. It was kind of the results were up and down. It was stressful. The family. And so that's a belief that now being an entrepreneur, I've had to really dive into and figure out where did that come from? Is that true or not? That you have to climb, you have to follow that path, or other other paths available that still could provide the stability that, you know, I was kind of seeking and that my wife needs as an example. So it's first and foremost, it's I always start people out with like, okay, let's shift our thinking, because most people show up and they're miserable, right? So it's, you know, Monday, when we're recording this, I woke up with a little fire and passion in the belly this morning, I was excited to get up. Not only to do this, but for the rest of the day. And and most people don't feel that way necessarily those 40 hour a week jobs, right. So simply put, I, this is where I started telling people like, why hate my job? I'm like, What do you like, tell me one thing you actually like about your job. Like, there's got to be something that you actually like about your job, because, again, there's a different part of our brain called the RAS, the reticular activating system, actually have a free training on this on my website, where I dive into a whole concept, but at its highest level, it's the filter at the base, your brain filter between the subconscious and conscious mind, right? So the subconscious mind is on all these sights, sounds, smells, balls, situations going on, but we're really not aware of right? And then our conscious mind is what we're actively focused on. And so with all this information, how does the brain know what to pull forward and make us consciously aware of right? And that's where the RAS comes in this filter. And so I always use this example of, have you heard the phrase that bad things happen in threes?
Ari Gronich 1:16:52
Yes.
Matt Phillips 1:16:55
So when one thing goes wrong, then we look at Oh, there's another thing that went wrong. And then finally, another thing goes wrong, right? Oh, why don't bad things happen in sixes? Because that's not the saying, right? Bad things happen in threes, you so you've, you've told your Ras as part of your brain to believe this. And so that's why it stops looking after number three, all it's doing is looking for data that's razzes looking for data. It's not emotional. It's not just saying, oh, bad things happen in threes. I believe that so I'm going to sift through all this subconscious stuff. And I'm going to pull forward exactly what you're thinking about exactly what you're looking for. And then in that case, I'm going to stop right at three, right? If the saying were bad things happen in sixes, you would find six things because your RAS would go search for that information, no matter how big or how small and show you six things that have gone wrong, right. So it all comes down to our beliefs. So we have to again, shift our thinking and reset our as we have the power to do that. We have to say, hey, RAS, show me something positive about my job. Show me something I enjoy. Show me where I get energy and start shifting the way you see your business. And the way you see your job, because then then we can actually take action. But you have to free up your mind to start looking for the good. Start looking for where perhaps you get energy, because then we can start saying, oh, wait a minute, let's strategically get into this. How do we move the needle? So where you're doing more of that sort of thing? We position you differently at that job? Can we find you a new job? Can you need to start a business maybe maybe not like entrepreneurships for some people, it's not for others. But it's it's starting to have our brains show us the data that we're looking for and show us we're moving in the right direction. So that's where I start with people, but we got to start understanding your brain starts with small things. So let's at least ship the raspberry. What? What do you actually like about your job? Because I guarantee you like something it could be your coworker. It could be the coffee's the greatest coffee in the world. Awesome. Well, maybe it's your next job or at this. I don't know, you work for a company with the same coffee. I don't know making stuff up here. Right. But, but it's like there's a way to start moving towards this. But we got to start with the basics.
Ari Gronich 1:19:08
Yeah, you know, it's funny when you buy a new car, your RAS activates. Yep. And all of a sudden you start seeing that you know your car everywhere, even if you hadn't seen it before. Yes. As a preemptive strike on your RAS system. Right. Let's say that you want a Lamborghini. You can activate your RAS to see Lamborghinis everywhere. Yes. And then all of a sudden you start seeing them and start seeing them and start seeing them and then maybe that's gonna end up being your car soon. Right? But that's, that's, you know, to me a good explanation of what the RAS system is as well because most people have that experience of I bought a car and then all of a I started seeing it everywhere. I know my, my friend, he bought a van like a Honda Odyssey van. He had never thought he was gonna ever buy a van before. But he wanted something he could transport things in. Yeah. And he bought a van. And all of a sudden he starts saying, I start I'm seeing this van everywhere. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's your as that's your your reticular activating system that is? Yes. Being the thing that you are focused on?
Matt Phillips 1:20:34
Yes. Oh, that's a huge thing. Are you talking about go back to that real quick, but the whole stuff going on in the world? And if you're setting your as to look for everything going wrong in the world, what do you think you're gonna find? everything going on in the world, right? Or in a relationship? If you find you're nitpicky with your husband or wife or partner, whatever? And you're saying like, well, they're doing everything to go against me? Well, what do you what is your brain your brain is going to show you data, it's not going to be like, oh, mad, that? Okay, you shouldn't think that. No, it's just like, process information. Boom, there's something here. She did too.
Ari Gronich 1:21:06
Yeah. Cuz when when somebody says, I'm looking for the good in somebody, in somebody else in a relationship, you're in a relationship, and the person is, is saying, there's all this negative things around. So I'm going to take a little bit to look for the good. Are they actually looking for the good? Or are they activating that's part of them that says everything is bad, so I have to look for good in order to find it.
Matt Phillips 1:21:39
So it depends I phrase is the statement, right? So if you lead with like, well, everything's bad. Well, if that's more powerful than your RAS gonna look for everything bad. Right? Or if you start to say, like, show me some, show me the positive things that he or she does, right? Show me the opportunity, opening up a business, show me the, it's shifting that dialogue. So your RAS actually knows what to go look for. And that's back to like, taking a compliment. Well, thank you. But you know, I just I kind of came through easily now. Thank you. Thank you trigger your brain the right way.
Ari Gronich 1:22:17
Yeah, that's one of the things I definitely worked on in my early age, was being able to take compliments even even nowadays, it's a, it's really interesting, my son will say, you know, you're the best dad ever. You're awesome. And I have those places still in the back of my brain from growing up and being a child and being told that I would never be that I would you know, that that I was bad influence that I you know, that I was all these things? Yes. That becomes a very difficult thing. And my practice is, when he says that to say thank you, I really appreciate you noticing that about me. Instead of Thank you, and or Thank you, but are you know, like?
Matt Phillips 1:23:09
Yes, it takes courage to put a period where you're used to putting a comma. It takes courage, and that builds confidence when you finally step in and own it.
Ari Gronich 1:23:19
Yeah, that's a really good thing for the audience to remember when they're being complimented. And they're being given a gift of any kind, whether a physical gift or a compliment of a gift or, you know, things like that is is that Thank you. When I was at pink potentials, that's one of the exercises we did was if somebody gave you a compliment you Your only response was Thank you. So only thing you're allowed to say this. And then walk away. You couldn't, couldn't compliment them back, by the way, either. Because that is also a form in some ways of discounting the compliment to you. Yes, is you know, so it's an interesting thing to look at these parts of how your brain how we function as a society. So let's bring it back to the societal level. And, you know, if I if I could put 100 year plan together, I would, right? Well, I can but and I have, but if I could put it on on this segment of the show, I would just like put it on and say okay, here's the the hundred year plan. But let me ask you a question. This is not one that I've asked anybody else at this point to this point. But I was thinking about doing a panel when I get to come to Colorado and see you guys. Yes, I want I want to do like a four person panel and have discussion. But the first question I would I would ask is because I like to start at the end is What is possible? No caveat. World, individual doesn't matter. If you close your eyes, and you see the world as you would want to see it?
Matt Phillips 1:25:18
what's possible?
The world
Ari Gronich 1:25:26
for tomorrow, create a new tomorrow. what's possible?
Matt Phillips 1:25:39
That's a loaded question. I take it.
I it's interesting. I when you asked that question, the first thing that popped in my head was like, Oh, we've ended world hunger, and everyone gets along, right? No more wars, all those things.
Ari Gronich 1:26:07
And then your monkey brain kicked in, didn't it?
Matt Phillips 1:26:10
It totally did. And then my next thought was really have not selfishly, but like, if I think about the possibility and me the influence that I can have on people, because I always go back to like, there's certain things in my control and certain things not in my control. And I remember my, and this is true of everyone, when my dad passed away from cancer about six years ago. And some of his, you know, last one of the last conversations we had, he made a comment of, you know, if you, I know if I have no doubt in my mind that if you put your mind to something, you'll be successful at it. And the key in that whole phrase is if you put your mind to it, meaning if I commit, if I decide that this is something worthy of my energy, and time and effort, that there'll be a lot of a lot of ups and downs along the way, but ultimately get where I want to go, is my dad saw that in me. And I think when I think about like, what's possible, I really start with like myself, and I go to my family next, because we have three kids and married to a great woman. And I always think to myself, gosh, if I could just look in the mirror one day and have know that I maximize my potential, right? Because I know if I do that, then I show up in a great way for my kids, and my wife, which means I show up in a great way for my clients, which means I show up in a great way for the No matter if anybody who crosses my path, I'm going to show up that like that way that impact can have lasting effects, right. And so whatever I set my mind to and decide that this is a this is a cause that I believe in this is a profession that I've I've chosen, this is a way of life that I'm going after this is like the people I want to influence like whatever it is, if I choose ownership, and that I don't know what's going to happen, but all I know is that, that there's going to be like a positive influence on that. So if world hunger is your thing, then go after it. If politics is your thing, go after it. If whatever the grown up business is your thing, there's amazing things that could happen that once you realize that you're in more control than you think. incredible stuff can happen. I mean, I I truly believe like, I will say anything in this world is possible, because there's so many uncontrollables already this being realistic with stuff. But there's a heck of a lot more that's in our control that that we give ourselves credit for we give society credit for and if we throw it ourselves with great people who are passionate as we are, we can move some some pretty big challenges out of the way.
Ari Gronich 1:29:07
Absolutely. So what I like to think about when I think on that question, what is possible is that anything that I want to be possible is possible. And then when that monkey brain starts showing up, right? So let's say it's world hunger, and the monkey brains shows up and says, Yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but yeah, but so we know it's possible. It's possible to feed everything. Then the buts come up. The Yeah, buts become the action steps. Yes. Right. Instead of being the stopping of they become the action steps and you could break down the Yeah, but if you can follow them and write them down, you could break down the yeah buts in their small, little actionable steps and actionable forms. So let's say, you know, it's a, it's the issue that we've been having with race. So the what is possible is that we all can get along, kind of go back to Rodney King, right? Can't we all just get along? Yes, Yes, we can. Yeah. But we need to, oh, that's a thing we can deal with. Yeah. But that, oh, that's the thing we can deal with. And then you could go, Okay, so who can deal with that? Who can who's who's the best one for that role, who's the best one for this role that and this works. The same thing in a company. If you have a company and you have a thing that you'd like to create for your company, what's possible for the company, and then you take and you break down all the yeah buts,
Matt Phillips 1:31:01
I Like that.
Ari Gronich 1:31:01
And that way, you can actually create a system designed to get the result that you're wanting, versus the result you think you have to live with?
Matt Phillips 1:31:12
Yes. I like that. Well, we're a longer starts with one meal. So yeah, but there's not that huge organization to feed everybody or there's not a supply chain put in place or whatever. Okay, well, all I can do is start with one meal. And then Pharaoh what adjustment I can make there? How do I make it to how to make it 100? How to make 1000.
Ari Gronich 1:31:34
Exactly. And you know, like one of my, one of my things for world hunger is funny, it's probably one of the most simple things you can imagine. It's instead of planting a whole bunch of palm trees on the side of the road, plant a coconut tree, a plum tree and apple tree and orange tree, a plum tree and apple tree, a coconut tree, plant berries and bushes, you know, so anybody who's walking down the street in a park, can pick a fruit off off of the tree, instead of walking through the park and just having to deal with folks that make a mess. They take the same amount of effort and time to for the communities to clean up. Right?
Matt Phillips 1:32:15
Yep,
Ari Gronich 1:32:16
make tidy, but now you have fast food. Yes, relying on it being about money, you're not relying it on being about anything else. That's just one possibility. You know, every school has has land, whether it's on top of a roof, or, you know, on the playground areas, right? So every school can create community gardens, that, then they have unlimited supply of landscape people because all the kids can be learning how to grow food. Yes, right. And now, not only is the food fed for this school, but you could probably produce enough to have a farmers market to actually do some funding for the rest of the community and the school. Yes, these solutions that I see are solutions that can be so freaking powerful to end world hunger, right. But you would never have gotten there. If you didn't ask the question, what is possible?
Matt Phillips 1:33:18
Correct? Well, and to add on to that Ari we wait so long for others to do that, when we have the power in ourselves does take the first step in That's the magic. That's the magic of why wait for others when you can do it yourself. And you don't have to have it all figured out and solved. But just do that one first thing,
Ari Gronich 1:33:46
right. And you don't have to do the thing that you're not passionate about, because there's gonna be somebody passionate about that, that can do that part. And the thing that you're passionate about is the thing that you can do, yes, build your tribe around that and people with different skill sets. And so that's just kind of like, for the audience. You know, here's something if you really want to create a new tomorrow, ask this question. what's possible? And then every time your monkey brain gives you a Yeah, but write it down. Because then you'll find that there are there are solutions to every yeah but that you got. And, and it makes the Yeah, but less of a negative and more of, Oh, well. Here's a thing to overcome. Here's the thing. Here's a challenge that we can overcome. Here's a solution that we can create. You know, there's one of the things I've heard recently is every every problem has a solution that can make it trying to remember the exact every problem has A solution, every issue has, or every issue has a cause. Every cause has a root, every root has a problem that can be fixed with the solution. And so if you think kind of that that way, you'll you'll get what you need.
Matt Phillips 1:35:20
Soldier,
Ari Gronich 1:35:21
whether that's another person involved, whether it's 20 people involved, but whatever it is, you know, Human trafficking is a big one these days, right?
Matt Phillips 1:35:30
You bet. Yeah, it's Yeah, I got a lot. It's the forms your to do list when you think about it.
Ari Gronich 1:35:39
Yes. If you can think of like human trafficking. I have a number of people who are in nonprofits, that that work on that. Right. But if you're in that world, so what's possible? Yes, that there's no more people being enslaved. That's, that's possible. Yes. Or being trafficked and kidnapped? Yes, it's to happen. Well, the people, the places that those are more likely to happen, we can create some concentrated effort in the industries that's likely to happen. We create some regulation. I mean, there's things that Yeah, buts just lead to solutions. Yeah, but solution. Yeah, but solution
Matt Phillips 1:36:22
and trigger as to say, look, give me solutions for this, and the Razzle magically show you the solutions?
Ari Gronich 1:36:28
Exactly. So we're gonna end this, and I'm going to have you on when I'm in Colorado, we'll do a panel, we'll have a few people. So it'll be a really lively show. But in the meantime, I asked this every time three actionable steps that somebody can take that's listening in the audience right now. That they could take in order to change their life and create a new tomorrow.
Matt Phillips 1:36:59
So first thing, start writing down your thoughts, because you got to get a baseline of where your head's at. And if you get it on paper, and on paper, I'm telling you, not on your phone, not spoken to some voice app, on paper, you have to start getting that that baseline and creating awareness of your thoughts so you can take action going forward. Second thing I will tell you start related to that, but start triggering your RAS, the reticular activating system, differently, position it to look for things that you want, instead of things that are getting in your way, or things that are holding you back, start making that choice every day to set your RAS. And the third thing I'll leave you with, and then I'm a big believer in and I spoke about it earlier. But this compounding effect, you know, the small things adding up, it's all about taking action, but take small action, you may think it's the silliest thing in the world to drop down if you want to get a better shape, and do one pushup a day. But start small because it will begin adding up and creates this momentum and gives you this dopamine hit again, tricking your brain and your body to get you where you want to go and business that starts with one call for a sale, and relationships. It starts with one dinner out or just asking the question, but do the small things consistently. And you'll be amazed amazed at where you get.
Ari Gronich 1:38:27
Awesome. So number one, let's repeat. Number one,
Matt Phillips 1:38:34
write down your thoughts. Got to get a baseline.
Ari Gronich 1:38:37
I'm just going to add because you did kind of allude to it. Why is it that writing is going to be different than typing or different than speaking?
Matt Phillips 1:38:48
You look at the well. So look at those statistics. First of all, I'm like writing versus saying versus teaching versus all this stuff, right. But what writing does as well, what I found every single time is it strips you emotionally out of the situation as soon as you see it and can analyze it differently. So huge effort. Yep.
Ari Gronich 1:39:09
Okay, it also activates when you write it activates your motor response to your brain. So thereby taking out some of the motivation. It actually helps to motivate your body's movement in action. It doesn't work quite the same way as typing or speaking. But if you write something, and and this actually works both hands, what's kind of funny is if you're typically a right handed person, and you start writing left handed, you'll find that your creative side gets much easier. You could actually take writer's block and alleviate it and things like that by using your left hand. So It's, it's good for Mind Body connection, yes, helps with memory, it helps with focus. And then if you read it afterwards, and then if you teach it to somebody afterwards, that becomes more ingrained in yourself. So if you're looking to do say a habit, change your habit, if you're an audience member, and you're looking to change a habit or create a new habit, then what you're going to do is you write it down, and then you speak what you wrote down, and you can even record it. And then you can listen to yourself as you read it. So that you are hearing it, you're teaching it and now all of a sudden, it becomes more ingrained in your body, and you're more likely to do that action. Second, is RAS system, yes. So what do we want to focus on? And how do we word it so that we're changing our perceptions and what we see from the positive or from negative to positive. And I'm gonna just add to that, because we have this massive social media thing where we're all in our echo chambers listening to other people that sound exactly like we sound because they're, you know, programmed through algorithms, to basically be the people that agree with us. So on that level of your RAS system, change your algorithms for social media so that you're listening to more sides of the story. So like, for instance, I used to watch Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, and some internet news when I when I watch news now, I don't watch news at all. But but it is a good choice. I would, I would watch them all, so that I had different perspectives that I was always running through. So I could see, okay, what's, what are these people talking about? And then I look at, I listen to somebody else, that's completely different. And so now I have more of a picture. If I listen to another one that's completely different, I have a deeper, it's all the same story, just totally different perspectives on the reality of the story. And so it'll actually allow your brain to pick up more nuanced thinking, critical thinking skills, if you can do that. And number three,
Matt Phillips 1:42:41
number three, action, action action, and break it down in a way where it's simple. And you can stick with it again, too, and you'll be blown away by it when you take those simple actions where you get to.
Ari Gronich 1:42:57
Awesome. So Matt, how can people get ahold of you? If if they're interested?
Matt Phillips 1:43:03
Yeah, so go to my our website, proathleteadvantage.com on the website to like I mentioned around the RAS, I've got a free training out there. So you can take a look. And it's literally the training that I've taught to athletes, professional athletes, and entrepreneurs and business leaders, you know, around the world, so you can kind of check that out and you get the handout and all that stuff with it. That's right at the top of the page, you'll see. And then yeah, please follow us on Facebook and Instagram is we are pro athlete advantage, we'd love to connect if we can help.
Ari Gronich 1:43:35
Awesome, thank you so much, Matt, for being here. I have enjoyed this conversation tremendously. As you can probably tell by my face, I'm like, constantly on the edge of my seat, like leaning into what you're saying. And that tells me that hopefully, the audience will be doing the same thing leaning into what we're saying. They can really get a level of life change, not just motivation, but actionable things that they can do to shift what they're doing and who they are. So I really appreciate it. Thank you so much.
Matt Phillips 1:44:13
Thank you.
Ari Gronich 1:44:14
You're welcome. And this has been another episode of create a new tomorrow. I am your host, Ari Gronich and I look forward to talking to you on the next one.
Thank you for listening to this podcast. I appreciate all you do to create a new tomorrow for yourself and those around you. If you'd like to take this information further and are interested in joining a community of like minded people who are all passionate about activating their vision for a better world. Go to the website, CreateANewTomorrow.com and find out how you can be part of making a bigger difference. I have a gift for you just for checking it out and look forward to seeing you take the leap and joining our private paid mastermind community. Until then, see you on the next episode.
