On this episode, I get raw and vulnerable by sharing how I navigated through my first traumatic flashback. That even though I just owned my suffering, it did not mean that I was healed. For me, it meant I was allowing myself to feel the trauma and start doing the real work. 

Key Takeaways:

• I wasn't able to do the real work until I owned my suffering
• Being able to feel pain now I can get myself out of unhealthy situations because I can feel that I am suffering
• Professional help is highly recommended so you can learn how to navigate trauma you are newly confronting
• When you are in survival mode the logical part of your brain shuts down
• Healing is not linear

Ways to connect!

• Snapchat: creating-light
• https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/contact/

Make a donation!

https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/donation/

Today, I talk about my personal experience of presenting my suffering through Bearing Gifts to the Feast. This presentation gave me the opportunity to finally own and accept my suffering, my trauma. I shared my journal entries from 2018 that revealed my mindset in owning my suffering. I even had the original audio recording of my presentation that I was able to include in this episode! 

Key Takeaways:

• When we suppress our trauma we create stories about ourselves that are not true
• Surrender of control and to your suffering is true freedom
• Your pain is connected to everything in life, even your new-found joy
• Suffering is the fertilizer for the rebirthing process
• You have to own your pain in order to let other people in
• When you numb yourself from the pain, you also numb yourself from every other feeling like love, joy, and happiness
• You start the process of freeing yourself from shame by accepting your suffering

Ways to connect!

• Snapchat: creating-light
• https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/contact/

Make a donation!

https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/donation/

Resources:

Where you can find my Art Therapy images that I described in this episode,

https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/2021/03/30/owning-my-suffering/

Where you can find my understanding and description of Bearing Gifts to the Feast,

Blog post: https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/2021/03/25/bearing-gifts-to-the-feast/

Podcast episode 13: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/creating-light-with-kelsey/id1553968957#episodeGuid=e85ce104-dacb-464a-b21a-7532f127b1fe 

Stephen K. Levine's book with the chapter explaining Bearing Gifts to the Feast and owning your suffering,

https://www.amazon.com/Poiesis-Language-Psychology-Speech-Soul/dp/1853024880/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=poiesis+the+language+of+psychology&qid=1616692707&sr=8-2

On this episode, I break down the model of Bearing Gifts to the Feast that was created by Stephen K. Levine. I share what the Bearing Gifts to the Feast presentation is and how it can work to reach its ultimate healing potential. I wanted to explain what this was before revealing how I personally went through the process, which I will dive into on the next episode!

Key Takeaways:

• By bearing our suffering we can perceive its gifts, and then share our story with others in communion, the feast
• There is great wisdom in owning our suffering, and that is the gift
• Describing parts of the process of the rites of passage and liminality
• Being grateful for the old parts of self because they helped create who you are today
• "We cannot give what we do not own"

Ways to connect!

• Snapchat: creating-light
• https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/contact/

Make a donation!

https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/donation/

Resources:

Stephen K. Levine's book, Poiesis: The Language of Psychology and the Speech of the Soul

https://www.amazon.com/Poiesis-Language-Psychology-Speech-Soul/dp/1853024880/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=poiesis%3A+the+language+of+psychology&qid=1616085099&sr=8-2

Today I introduce the topic of documenting your dreams! I share how I started this and that it became the first aspect of self-care I was practicing. Then I go through some prevalent dreams I documented in the fall of 2018, and how that prepared me for the process of owning my suffering.

Key Takeaways:

• Documenting my dreams allowed me to become in tune with my emotions
• The more connected I became to my unconscious mind it became a less scary place
• By working with my dreams I gained the awareness of where my trauma still had a hold on me
• Sharing how you can make documenting your dreams a habit

Ways to connect:

• Snapchat: creating-light
• https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/contact/

Make a donation!

https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/donation/

On this episode, I shared the magical synchronistic moments I experienced the other day when learning about the Goddess, Quan Yin, in the book, The Sophia Code! I discovered that her mission has been my mission! Tune in to hear about how I have been unknowingly embodying the lessons from Quan Yin in relation to darkness, light, suffering, love, forgiveness, letting go, and compassion.

Key Takeaways:

• Every time you surrender to the darkness you allow light to come in
• Water carries ancient wisdom which communicates the lessons of letting go
• We all have the power to heal!
• "The voice of your inner child speaks from your heart"
• There is no logic when suffering is projected onto another human
• Nothing is personal
• Only you can save yourself

Ways to connect!

• Snapchat: creating-light
• https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/contact/

Make a donation

https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/donation/

Resources:

Kaia Ra's book, The Sophia Code: A living transmission from the Sophia Dragon Tribe 

https://www.amazon.com/Sophia-Code-Living-Transmission-Dragon/dp/0997935502/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=the+Sophia+code&qid=1615412238&sr=8-1 

Where to find my phoenix painting-

https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/2021/03/18/discovering-the-goddess-quan-yin/ 

Today I talked about how taking the Spirituality in Art Therapy course in grad school kick started my entire spiritual awakening. I began to question a lot of aspects of my life, like religion and living by the "shoulds" of society. I finally started to remember who I was. Then I began the deconditioning process. 

Key Takeaways:

• Spirituality can be different than religion
• Spirituality can come from a higher power, but it also comes from us doing what feeds our soul
• Jesus has always been within you
• Stop should-ing all over yourself
• The importance of play
• Being naive to a problem is not scary until we become aware that we are naive

Ways to connect!

• Snapchat: creating-light
• https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/contact/

Make a donation!

https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/donation/

Resources:

Manifesting Like Magic journals!

https://soultosole.co/shop/

Art Therapy and liminality-

https://www.amazon.com/Therapy-Cancer-Care-Facing-Death/dp/033521620X/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=art+therapy+and+cancer+care&qid=1615061888&sr=8-1

Bruce Moon's book, Existential Art Therapy-

https://www.amazon.com/Existential-Art-Therapy-Canvas-Mirror/dp/0398078459/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=existential+art+therapy+the+canvas+mirror&qid=1615062029&sr=8-1

Liza Hyatt's book, Art of the Earth-

https://www.amazon.com/Art-Earth-Ancient-Green-Future/dp/143430809X/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=art+of+the+earth+ancient+arts+for+a+green+future&qid=1615062266&sr=8-1

"The opposite of play is not work, it's depression." -Dr. Stuart Brown (in the episode I had accidentally said "rest" instead of "work" but oh well!)

https://www.ted.com/talks/stuart_brown_play_is_more_than_just_fun?language=en

On this episode I talk about the mindset I had around relationships and sexuality as a teenager. I share the reason why I broke up with my first boyfriend in high school, and the toxic perceptions I absorbed from society and past traumatic experiences.

Key Takeaways:

• The worst places to learn about relationships and sexuality are through the media or societal standards 
• You cannot shelter children from being exposed to toxic sexuality
• It's not a coincidence that society forces this toxic view through media and hides the concept of divine sexuality
• Sexuality does not always mean sex
• When children are naive about sexuality it leaves a lot of room for harm to take place

Ways to connect!

• Snapchat: creating-light
• https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/contact/

Make a donation!

https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/donation/

On this episode I continue to share how healing took time for me, and the stumbles I had along the way of figuring out how to emotionally care for myself. I discovered that when I face my trauma, or even consistently face my emotions, my depression decreased. I also share another poem I wrote back in 2017 that described my mindset in that moment.

Key takeaways:

• The more often I kept avoiding my emotions is when depression would surface
• I often chose the comfort of avoidance instead of truly feeling the sadness
• Doing things that made me happy was not enough to make me feel better
• Learning that feeling my darkness I would then feel happy, discover the light
• Greatness is still for you even when you are at your rock bottom
• You are exactly where you are meant to be

Ways to connect!

• Snapchat: creating-light
• https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/contact/

Make a donation!

https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/donation/

Resources:

Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's, The Body Keeps The Score

https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2Z4ZF454GWY0I&dchild=1&keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score&qid=1614616889&sprefix=the+body+%2Caps%2C208&sr=8-1

Dr. Nicole LePera's instagram- @the.holistic.psychologist

https://www.instagram.com/the.holistic.psychologist/?hl=en

Her new book, How To Do The Work

https://www.amazon.com/How-Do-Work-Recognize-Patterns/dp/006301209X/ref=sr_1_3?crid=3JDK7YQZB2S7J&dchild=1&keywords=how+to+do+the+work+dr.+nicole+lepera&qid=1614616777&sprefix=how+to+do+the%2Caps%2C177&sr=8-3

On this episode I reveal that even though I started the healing journey it took time for me to learn how to be on the journey consistently. I realized that I did not have the tools to cope in healthy ways. Then I shared how I avoided my feelings by keeping busy which lead to me experiencing depression. 

Key takeaways:

• We cannot trick ourselves into being happy
• We cannot run away from our trauma forever
• Feeling the pain also allows us to feel love, excitement, compassion, etc. more fully
• Discussing imposter syndrome 
• Healing is a trial and error process
• Learning that nothing gets solved when we avoid

Ways to connect!

• Snapchat: creating-light
• https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/contact/

Make a donation!

https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/donation/

On this episode I share the moment my healing journey began. As a result of going to graduate school to study Art Therapy and being exposed to such vulnerability my trauma finally felt safe enough to come to the surface. During my first residency I started to express my darkness for the very first time through art and poetry. Then on this episode I decided to share some of that artwork and poetry with you!

Key Takeaways:

• Realizing you can create something beautiful out of something terrible
• Discussing the shame society often puts on survivors of sexual abuse
• You are exactly where you are meant to be
• You do not have to know what you are doing with art to be able to express yourself
• Through every bit of healing trauma is no longer taking control over my life
• Separation is an illusion

Ways to connect!

• Snapchat: creating-light
• https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/contact/

Make a donation!

https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/donation/

Resources:

Where you can find the artworks I described-

https://creatinglightwithkelsey.com/2021/03/02/how-my-healing-journey-began/

Brene Brown on sympathy vs empathy-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw