The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: What type of goal is the most "still had work to do" goal possible, the No 1 religious reference to deploy during a live TV commentary, the greatest recorded example of something other than a goal being "cheered like a goal", ambient household noise and the "Phantom Drury Effect", and the lowest-profile footballer who could end up on a celebrity reality TV show.

Meanwhile, the panel examine a US term for a goalkeeper spilling a low cross in their own six-yard box, while Charlie's Premier League Years memory skills go beyond parody.