'Crib is 10 times more enjoyable during a storm. That's a fact.'

'You know how some people use towns to describe highways? Don't use it with the town Biggar. People will think you meant B-I-G-G-E-R highway, and take the largest one.'

We all have that one friend is crochets non-stop. Everyone LOVES this friend!

They are constantly making their friends scarves, they always have a giant bag with them, and they always have one yarn store they despise with a passion! #CruzMornings

'Some people have seeing eye dogs... my dog has a seeing eye human.'

'Do you think anyone has ran on to the field at a sporting event sober?'

'NO ONE NEEDS FRUITY PEBBLES COFFEE CREAMER!'

'Is it offside to ask for the box back after giving a gift because it's a nice box?'

'Every November, the Scraper begins it's annual migration from the trunk of the car to the backseat. Even though it has formed a close bond with the jumper cables, it must return to it's winter home for the safety of the entire vehicle.'

'Imagine dating Ryan Reynolds for 4 years, and the only ex-BF people want to take to you about is Dave Coulier... Poor Alanis.'

'Laugh tracks are no longer going to be on TV shows... wonder if they would work on the radio?'

'Seems like no one wants a La-Z-Boy anymore!'

'People will invest their life savings into a few pieces of cardboard, and then pray that player ends up being good.'

'Right around 2005, they stopped making couches and chairs comfortable.'

'You can tell a couple is happy by how efficient they scratch each other's backs.'

'You know how opposing football players will swap jerseys after a game? Imagine if they did that outside the sports world. After a big case, the two lawyers just exchange button up shirts.'

Yellowstone, Dazed & Confused, and a few ginger jokes made their way into today's episode of 'Drunk Cruz Mornings'

(that's when we slow down a random clip from the show by 50% to make us sound drunk)

'Every guy group has a friend nicknamed Moose, and yesterday everyone was making jokes about that guy in the group chat... HEY MOOSE WHY'D YOU BREAK INTO A SCHOOL BUD?!'

'TV shows are like cigarettes' you can get addicted from second hand smoke. Or in this case, second hand watching.'