'If you see a skullet in a ponytail, take a picture. They are very rare and not often seen in the wild.'

'I've said it before and I'll say it again... Homemade cards are way better than cheap ones at Shoppers. Fold a piece of construction paper, put a heart on the front, and a nice message inside. THAT'S IT!'

Everyone's favourite segment...

'Lumber is like $1000 an ounce right now.'

'If a 6-pack of beer costs more than $20, it's fancy beer.'

'If a sales person sucks at sales, they won't make a lot of money. That just makes sense. The same thing goes for servers... If a server sucks at customer service, they won't make a lot of money.'

It's 'rip the sleeves off your T-shirt because it's hot outside and then regretting your decision the next day because it was actually a nice shirt' season

'If Monster Energy Drink was a sound effect, this would be it'

'Back in the day you would look forward to getting a phone call. Now people will text 'hey is it okay if I call you' before they actually call you because they know how big of a hassle it is'

'People put McDonald's Pizza on a pedestal. It's like this Greek Myth or something, and I want it to stay that way. If McDonald's beings it back, we might realize it wasn't as good as we remember it.'

'Want to feel like an idiot? Try to explain to a mechanic what's wrong with your car.'

'I showed up to the drive-thru vaccine 45 minutes early. I thought that would be plenty of time... Boy was I wrong!'

'We may not have a minor or summer league baseball team in Saskatoon anymore, but the three Midget AAA teams in the city are top notch organizations. super fun baseball to watch!'

'A chlorine shortage might be good news for pool owners. Finally you have an excuse for all your mooch friends.'

'Call this friend Patrick Starfish, because they've been living under a rock forever... and there's a good chance they didn't get that Spongebob reference.'

We all have that one friend who never gets any references. Pop culture, sports, history... doesn't matter, they're not getting it! #CruzMornings

'Not a lot of things smell worse than a 4-day old dish cloth'

'Eating the same thing for breakfast for 5 years is normal... but if you tell someone you've been eating the same thing for lunch for 5 years, they're absolutely disgusted.'

'On The Simpsons, when Homer didn't do his taxes on time, the government made him wear a wire and rat out his friends. In real life, it's nothing like that!'

'If you see someone selling corn out of the back of their truck on the side of the road, you pull over immediately and buy some. Truck corn is always delicious.'

'When guys are young and single, they will use old T-shirts as rags and bath mats one week and then wear that very same shirt the next week.'

'Unless it's huge news, we're never talking about bike lanes again. Pretty over it.'

'Kayaking is the best because you can sit down while you get exercise'

'Dads will do pretty much anything for a free beer and a 'good job' afterwards'