'Those glass pyrex measuring cups are like Nokia phones... They are indestructible! Could throw it off your roof and it would be totally fine'

'I wish they did home calls for the vaccine instead of a drive-thru. That way we could have Domino's Pizza Tracker, but for your vaccine! Imagine those notifications... Damon is getting your vaccine ready!'

'I've never played hockey before but I still own like 3 rolls of hockey tape for some reason.'

'Remember when people would quote the movie Anchorman non-stop? Every 3rd sentence was a quote from that movie'

'The employees at the Blockbuster in my neighbourhood would never organize the return bin. They would always make us go through it if we wanted to see if a movie got returned.'

'The best part about the online buy & sell safe zones is not having to deal with that awkward, front step interaction. It's the worst showing up to someone's house and they need your help moving it up the stairs'

When we do our 'Cruz Shout Outs', we usually give some love to 6 or 7 different things.

Today though, it's nothing but Mini Eggs. Just a bunch of shout outs to the greatest chocolate treat ever made! #CruzMornings

'The shower is the poor man's bidet'

'Never go grocery shopping on payday. You'll end up at the front with an overflowing cart and realize you don't need half the stuff in there. So now you have to do the awkward 'Nevermind, I don't need this' like 30 times with the cashier'

'Pasta Tacos are gonna be thing in a few months. You heard it here first!'

'Today on the show we learned that everyone hides snacks from their significant other.'

'The one year the Blades are amazing is the year with no playoffs and no home games... ugh!'

'Every laundry room a hamper for those in between items... like a junk drawer, but for clothes. The ones you're not ready to let go of yet but also never wear on a regular basis.'

'It's impossible to look at a bobcat spooning a carrot and not laugh.'

'Sometimes I have the opposite of FOMO... Sometimes I'll be somewhere and wish I was missing out on it.'

'Waiting 15 minutes for everyone to finish a meal because you finished it in 4 minutes, or making everyone wait at the table an extra 15 minutes because you eat so slow... What would you rather?'

'Shout out to waiting in line at The Sutherland Hotel (aka The Scuz) back in the day... Sometimes that long, narrow hallway was more fun than the actual bar.'

'Shout out to frozen pizzas that come with a lot of cheese... Just kidding, those don't exist.'

#CruzMornings

'My buddy listed his house in the morning and it sold before noon. The housing market in this city right now is nuts!'

'People with allergies are going to have to say 'IT'S JUST ALLERGIES, I'M NOT SICK!' a ton this year. So much snow mold + a pandemic = lots of dirty looks after a sneeze'

'I hurt my shoulder doing the air guitar... I can't go to the doctor for it because there's no way I'm going to have an awkward conversation about how I hurt my shoulder doing the air guitar'

The show 'CSI' would be wayyy different if it were set in a small town where everyone knew each other.

It's time for another episode of 'CSI: Lanigan'!

... Sorry in advance, Calgary Flames fans #CruzMornings