'Just because it's not illegal doesn't mean it's not super greasy.'

'Shout out to spinach artichoke dip for sounding healthy, when really it's like 85 percent cheese.'

'I'd pay good money to hear a Matthew McConaughey political campaign speech.'

'There are alpha cereals and there are beta cereals. You can't mix two alpha cereals together. It just won't work. You need an alpha and a beta... Yes, we take cereal this seriously.'

'The cassette tape with the cord coming out of it so you could plug into your mp3 player might be the best invention of all time'

"When this friend realizes that you're bored with the story and not really laughing at it, they always say the same thing... 'You just had to be there!'... Well, if I had to be there to get it, why did you just waste 12 minutes of my life?'

We all have that one friend who sucks at telling stories #CruzMornings

Clayton: 'Love it when a food substitution works out. Made ground turkey lettuce wraps the other day. But we didn't have lettuce, so I just used tortillas.'

Stacie: 'Isn't that just making tacos?'

'Am I the only one who orders take based on the containers that the restaurant has? I'll order from food from a place that I don't even like if they have those black containers with the see through lid'

'If you do something that helps out the city, like clear a path to the drain so your street doesn't flood, you should get a 'Get out of a parking ticket free' card or something'

'The worst thing you can do as a kid is falling asleep first at a sleepover.'

Movie Sequel Mad Libs!

Clayton writes a skeleton plot for movie sequel and Stacie fills in the blanks with random words... Mad-Libs style!

Think this plot for 'Ferris Bueller's 2nd Day Off' is a winner? #CruzMornings

'I'll never forgive Jimmy Fallon for ruining the cowbell skit on SNL by laughing the whole time'

'If I could switch my voice with any voice in the world, it would hands down be the guy who does the EA SPORTS... IT'S IN THE GAME!'

'When a pen is out of ink do you grab a new pen or just press the dry pen really hard and hope you can see the outline on the paper?'

'Ever have sexy time 20 minutes after a giant, 5 course meal? Wouldn't recommend it'

'It's no secret that The Simpsons isn't as good as it used to be. Even though you may not like the show anymore, you have to respect it. That show was batting 1.000 for like 15 years in a row'

'I don't want to go to space because every movie about space has always gone horribly.'

'The traffic cone at the Clarence & Melville intersection has been there for like a year now.'

'There's a big difference between paying your dues, and being exploited'

'Everyone's definition of a few is different.'