'You know that guy who found the shrimp tails in the cereal? He's married to the girl who played Topanga in Boy Meets World... Don't feel bad for him anymore because HE STOLE MY GIRL!'

Also on the show today: We came up with a bunch of new 'Community Chest' cards for Monopoly.

Also on the show today: Clayton kept mixing up shrimp tails with shrimp rings and it made that Cinnamon Toast Crunch story very different.

'Remember the staff picks section at Blockbuster? More places need that. Dollarama, Liquor Store, Schools...'

'The people who decided to snowblow their front yard so the snow would melt faster... this bad weather is on you. You jinxed it! Mother Nature caught you tryin to beat the system and now we all have to pay!'

'We all have that one friend who will eat your pickle... Sometimes they don't even ask, they just grab it right off your plate because they know you're not going to eat it'

#CruzMornings

'When I was a kid, my Mom wouldn't let me rollerblade or skateboard until the streets had been swept. If I wanted to break the rule, I'd have to hide my roller blades from her like it was my secret stash or something.'

'Every front yard in this city is a half snow, half yellow gros hybrid nightmare.'

'Never make eye contact with a Canadian Goose. You know what, don't even look in their general direction. Also, don't talk too loudly around them... Just be on high alert until September when our bird overlords leave for the winter.'

'We could solve all of Saskatoon's downtown problems if we gave everyone one of those muscly kangaroos.'

'The people who work the front desk at vet clinics are always the nicest person ever.'

'St. Bernard elementary school had the best track uniforms back in the 90's'

'Just once I want Gatorade to make a commercial for it's hungover clientele. Their commercials always feature athletes, but half the people who buy Gatorade are buying it because they partied too hard the night before.'

'The more retro looking a basement is, the better memories you're going to make that night. Wood panelling, shag carpets, and a sectional from 1992? That's my perfect basement right there. The basement where you can spill something and no one cares.'

'When I was a kid, I thought everyone who had a pool was a billionaire.'

'Ever see Venom from Spider-Man turn into Venom? That's what happens when people buy a smoker. It just slowly takes over them.'

'I hate self checkouts because I am terrible at finding barcodes'

'It just feels weird to say Daylight Saving Time. I know it's the correct way of saying it, but everyone Daylight Savings Time!'

'Buying winter clothes in the spring can save you a lot of money if you're really good at guessing how much weight you're going to gain in 6 months.'

'We all have that one friend who loves to brag about how they don't have to change their clocks for Daylight Saving Time'

... IT'S US! WE ARE THAT ONE FRIEND! ALL OF US IN SASKATCHEWAN! #CruzMornings