Stacie: 'Because restaurants across America are closed and less busy, rats in the states are having legit gang wars with each other'

Clayton: 'So it's kind of like the show The Wire. But instead of drugs it's food... and instead of people it's rats!'

Stacie: 'I'm always amazed how your brain makes comes up with these analogies'

Also on the show today... Should golf courses be allowed to stay open, treat yourself with some take out today, & the one friend who always has 900 napkins in their car.

Today's 'No Sports' Sports Report is brought to you by The Patricia Hotel... aka 'The Pat'

The Pat: The Mullet of bars. Business in the front, party in the back.

We all have that one friend who collects fast food napkins like their baseball cards.

'This friend looks forward to people spilling stuff in their car because it gives them an excuse to show off their napkin collection.'

'Junk drawer at home? Boom, napkins. Desk at work? Boom, napkins. They're like a squirrel, they have a stash of napkins all over town'

Tim Gitzel, President and CEO of Cameco, joined Stacie & Clayton this morning to talk about the $1 million Covid Relief Fund for non-profit organizations in Saskatoon and Northern Saskatchewan.

Want more information? Check out the link below!

https://www.cameco.com/community/stories/relief-fund

When furniture and electronic stores would 're-open' back in the day, they would have a big event at their store. Crazy good deals, free BBQ, stuff for the kids, and of course a cheesy radio ad to get people down there!

Imagine if Saskatchewan did the same thing when the province 're-opens' for business...

Clayton: 'If Saskatoon did a time capsule to show people of the future what this pandemic was like, what would you put in there?'

Stacie: 'Ummm, can you put Netflix in a time capsule?'

Also on the show today... thr 'No Sports' Sports Report, a very random edition of Cruz Confused Lyrics, Wrestling is essential in Florida, & sneaky snakes who are trying to cheat the CERB system.

'People are still mad that school zones are still in effect, even though there's no school. I actually think the city should double down during this pandemic and make the entire city a school zone. Every street in Saskatoon is a 30 km/h zone. Think about it... People won't want to leave their house if they have to go 30 on Circle Drive. They'll stay home, which means more social distancing, which means sports come back sooner!'

Today's 'No Sports' Sports Report is brought to you by Target.

Target: Ironically, we really missed the target in Canada.

Clayton: 'If you walk into a bathroom and the toilet is broken or leaking or whatever... the first person you tell will never believe you. They will assume you broke the toilet and are too embarrassed to admit it. When really you're just the messenger!'

Stacie: 'So just don't tell anyone it's broken. Boom, problem solved.

Clayton: '... not really though'

Today's 'No Sports' Sports Report was brought to you by The Army & Navy Store.

Just a heads up, all of these taglines involve the sketchy elevator in some way #yxe