Big Think

Dating apps encourage our worst instincts. Here’s how to be more ethical | Christine Emba


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**🔥 Dating Apps Are a Mess (and Kinda Messing *Us* Up Too) 💔📱**

Back in the day, people met through friends, family, work, or school 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🎓.

Now? It’s swipe-swipe culture. Tinder. Bumble. Hinge. You name it.

Sure, dating apps have helped — especially for people in marginalized communities 🏳️‍🌈🤝.

But they’ve also brought along some serious issues.

👻 Ghosting? Normalized.

📸 Unwanted photos? Unfortunately, common.

🚨 Harassment? Way too frequent.

🤖 People often act worse when they feel there are no real consequences.

Some stats that say it all:

- 56% of women have received inappropriate images 📲

- 40% were contacted repeatedly after cutting someone off 🚫

- 37% were insulted, 11% even felt physically threatened 😟

- 64% of men felt insecure due to low responses 📉

This isn’t just awkward — it’s exhausting 🧠💤.

Apps turn dating into a *game*.

Swipe left, swipe right — again and again — while getting the message that someone “better” might be a tap away 😮‍💨.

Why build something real when you can just start over?

And let’s be real:

If your pics aren’t 🔥 or you’re not 6 feet tall, you might never even get seen 🙃.

It’s shallow. It’s discouraging. And for many, it’s just... Draining.

So what can we do?

💡 Treat people like people — not profiles.

🫱🏽‍🫲🏼 Respect boundaries. Look for real connection.

👀 And maybe... Just maybe... Start a conversation in person.

Dating doesn’t have to feel like a simulation.

Let’s make it human again ❤️‍🩹.

About Christine Emba:

Christine Emba is an opinion columnist and editor at The Washington Post, where she focuses on ideas, society, and culture. She is also a contributing editor at Comment Magazine and an editor at large at Wisdom of Crowds, which includes a podcast and newsletter. Before this, Emba was the Hilton Kramer Fellow in Criticism at The New Criterion and a deputy editor at the Economist Intelligence Unit, focusing on technology and innovation. Her book, Rethinking Sex: A Provocation, is about the failures and potential of the sexual revolution in a post-#MeToo world. Emba was named one of the World’s Top 50 Thinkers by Prospect Magazine in 2022.

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