De Facto Leaders

When I worked in the school systems, rewards and behavior charts were a common practice. Even in my training to be a therapist, “positive reinforcement” was often a go-to strategy for managing behaviors and motivating kids to do “non-preferred” tasks.

The problem was that for a lot of kids it didn’t work. And what was even worse…sometimes it worked TEMPORARILY, but as soon as the reward went away, so did the motivation to do the task.

It left me wondering if relying on external rewards is really helping to build the skills kids need to be independent, intrinsically motivated, responsible people with a good work ethic.

I also found myself wondering if “motivation” (or lack there of) was really the problem in the first place.

That’s why in this episode I talk about motivation and positive reinforcement for kids who procrastinate, rush through work, struggle to stay organized, or who show impulsive behaviors (often associated with ADHD and related conditions).

Specifically, I share:

✅Why using rewards often doesn’t work when kids are procrastinating and refusing to do work.

✅Why “motivation” is often misunderstood, and why there’s more to the story when kids appear “lazy” or “defiant”.

✅The set of skills that are often the “missing link” when kids aren’t consistently responding to positive reinforcement.

If you aren’t sure how to support kids in completing homework assignments, chores, or other daily tasks; then you’ll get a lot of insight out of listening to this episode. If you’re a parent who wants to set your kids up for success as adults, then then you’re going to love my free parent guide, which I mentioned in this episode. In this guide, I share the set of skills that kids need in order to stay organized, focused, and motivated during their day-to-day tasks like chores and homework.

You can sign up for the guide here: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/parentguide

The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding. 

Learn more about today's sponsors, Playworks and IXL:

We’re proud to be sponsored by Playworks, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization with evidence-based practices that help schools improve the health and well-being of children by increasing opportunities for physical activity and safe, meaningful play.

If you’re a school or district leader struggling with the challenge of chronic absenteeism, as so many are across the U.S., you may not realize that structured recess is a research-backed approach to keep kids in school. In fact, a UC Berkeley study of Title I schools found that those partnering with Playworks had significantly lower chronic absenteeism rates. Further, Mathematica research demonstrated that Playworks schools spent 27% less time transitioning from recess back to learning, saving teachers valuable instructional time. 

These results are possible for your students, too. Learn how Playworks can help you improve student-educator relationships, belonging, and attendance by signing up for a quick no-obligation conversation. 

We’re also thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. 

IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:

• Simplify and streamline technology
• Save teachers’ time
• Reliably meet Tier 1 standards
• Improve student performance on state assessments

🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.

When raising kids in elementary school, junior high, and high school, a lot of parents wonder if they're preparing their kids for what lies ahead in college and adulthood. 
We can't look in to a crystal ball and predict the future, but we can bring insights from our own failures and successes to the way we parent. 

That's why in this episode, Joe and I continue our conversation about his experience going through school, including:

• How he initially failed out of college, but then later went back and got a master's degree from the same university. 
• What he wishes he would have learned after being evaluated for ADHD, and how we bring these insights into the way we parent. 
• How he learned to be more disciplined and structure his environment so you he can perform his best and focus (without using medication). 

If you want to better prepare your K-12 kids for what lies ahead, you'll get a ton out of listening in to this episode. 

(Disclaimer: This episode should not be considered medical or legal advice, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any specific medical condition).

If you’re a parent who wants to set your kids up for success as adults, then then you’re going to love my free parent guide, which I mentioned in this episode.
In this guide, I share the set of skills that kids need in order to stay organized, focused, and motivated during their day-to-day tasks like chores and homework. You can sign up for the guide here: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/parentguide

The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding. 

Learn more about today's sponsors, Playworks and IXL:

We’re proud to be sponsored by Playworks, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization with evidence-based practices that help schools improve the health and well-being of children by increasing opportunities for physical activity and safe, meaningful play.

If you’re a school or district leader struggling with the challenge of chronic absenteeism, as so many are across the U.S., you may not realize that structured recess is a research-backed approach to keep kids in school. In fact, a UC Berkeley study of Title I schools found that those partnering with Playworks had significantly lower chronic absenteeism rates. Further, Mathematica research demonstrated that Playworks schools spent 27% less time transitioning from recess back to learning, saving teachers valuable instructional time. 

These results are possible for your students, too. Learn how Playworks can help you improve student-educator relationships, belonging, and attendance by signing up for a quick no-obligation conversation. 

We’re also thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. 

IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:

• Simplify and streamline technology
• Save teachers’ time
• Reliably meet Tier 1 standards
• Improve student performance on state assessments

🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.

Can you change your child's capacity to focus? Or do they just have to play the hand they've been dealt for life? 

In this episode, Dr. Karen discusses what she's learned through the last 15 years of studying the research and working with school-age kids, as well as the parents and educators who support them.  

She also discusses the great "medication debate", including ways it's often mishandled by well-meaning professionals, and also the set of skills your kids need in order to successfully focus  and make forward progress on multi-step tasks that require attention to detail and problem-solving. 

(Disclaimer: This episode should not be considered medical or legal advice, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any specific medical condition).

If you’re a parent who wants to set your kids up for success as adults, then then you’re going to love my free parent guide, which I mentioned in this episode.

In this guide, I share the set of skills that kids need in order to stay organized, focused, and motivated during their day-to-day tasks like chores and homework. You can sign up for the guide here: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/parentguide

The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding. 

Learn more about today's sponsors, Playworks and IXL:

We’re proud to be sponsored by Playworks, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization with evidence-based practices that help schools improve the health and well-being of children by increasing opportunities for physical activity and safe, meaningful play.

If you’re a school or district leader struggling with the challenge of chronic absenteeism, as so many are across the U.S., you may not realize that structured recess is a research-backed approach to keep kids in school. In fact, a UC Berkeley study of Title I schools found that those partnering with Playworks had significantly lower chronic absenteeism rates. Further, Mathematica research demonstrated that Playworks schools spent 27% less time transitioning from recess back to learning, saving teachers valuable instructional time. 

These results are possible for your students, too. Learn how Playworks can help you improve student-educator relationships, belonging, and attendance by signing up for a quick no-obligation conversation. 

We’re also thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. 

IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:

• Simplify and streamline technology
• Save teachers’ time
• Reliably meet Tier 1 standards
• Improve student performance on state assessments

🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.

We all have a point where the demands of life become too overwhelming and we lose our ability to self-manage and stay disciplined. For people who have a diagnosis of ADHD, that point can come sooner rather than later. 

In this episode, my husband (Joe) shares what happened when he hit his breaking point, including:

• His experience growing up with an "almost ADHD" diagnosis
• How he managed to fall through the cracks and squeak by in elementary and secondary school. 
• What happened when he went away to college and didn't have his built-in accountability systems (a.k.a., his parents). 

If you have a kid in K-12 and you want to learn what challenges might lie ahead for your kids and what red flags to look out for in elementary and secondary school, you're going to love this episode

And spoiler alert: This story has a happy ending. This is just the first of a two-part interview. 

(Disclaimer: This episode should not be considered medical or legal advice, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any specific medical condition).

If you’re a parent who wants to set your kids up for success as adults, then then you’re going to love my free parent guide, which I mentioned in this episode.

In this guide, I share the set of skills that kids need in order to stay organized, focused, and motivated during their day-to-day tasks like chores and homework. You can sign up for the guide here: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/parentguide

The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding. 

Learn more about today's sponsors, Playworks and IXL:

We’re proud to be sponsored by Playworks, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization with evidence-based practices that help schools improve the health and well-being of children by increasing opportunities for physical activity and safe, meaningful play.

If you’re a school or district leader struggling with the challenge of chronic absenteeism, as so many are across the U.S., you may not realize that structured recess is a research-backed approach to keep kids in school. In fact, a UC Berkeley study of Title I schools found that those partnering with Playworks had significantly lower chronic absenteeism rates. Further, Mathematica research demonstrated that Playworks schools spent 27% less time transitioning from recess back to learning, saving teachers valuable instructional time. 

These results are possible for your students, too. Learn how Playworks can help you improve student-educator relationships, belonging, and attendance by signing up for a quick no-obligation conversation. 

We’re also thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. 

IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:

• Simplify and streamline technology
• Save teachers’ time
• Reliably meet Tier 1 standards
• Improve student performance on state assessments

🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.

Do you find that using organizers, minimizing distractions, or using rewards just don't work when it comes to getting your kids to focus? 

Does getting your kids to follow through with chores, homework, or other daily tasks seem like pulling teeth?  

If so, you're going to love this episode. When it comes to getting kids to follow through on activities that require sustained focus and effort, most people don't realize that improving attention and alertness is just the first step. 

There is actually a set of skills kids need to develop true autonomy, independence and critical thinking. Without building these skills, kids are unlikely to fully benefit from things like positive reinforcement, productivity strategies, or even diet and medication.

That's why in episode 002, Dr. Karen explains a set of essential skills your kids in need to support attention and focus (especially if they have conditions that impact attention span).
(Disclaimer: This episode should not be considered medical or legal advice, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any specific medical condition).

If you’re a parent who wants to set your kids up for success as adults, then then you’re going to love my free parent guide, which I mentioned in this episode. In this guide, I share the set of skills that kids need in order to stay organized, focused, and motivated during their day-to-day tasks like chores and homework.

You can sign up for the guide here: https://drkarendudekbrannan.com/parentguide

The De Facto Leaders podcast was formerly the “Are they 18 yet?®” podcast. As of November 2022, the name of the show has changed, and we’ve shifted from a focus on parenting to a focus on supporting clinicians and educators to design effective services for kids (but parents are still welcome to listen). Episodes published before November 24, 2022 will still contain some of our old branding. 

Learn more about today's sponsors, Playworks and IXL:

We’re proud to be sponsored by Playworks, a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization with evidence-based practices that help schools improve the health and well-being of children by increasing opportunities for physical activity and safe, meaningful play.

If you’re a school or district leader struggling with the challenge of chronic absenteeism, as so many are across the U.S., you may not realize that structured recess is a research-backed approach to keep kids in school. In fact, a UC Berkeley study of Title I schools found that those partnering with Playworks had significantly lower chronic absenteeism rates. Further, Mathematica research demonstrated that Playworks schools spent 27% less time transitioning from recess back to learning, saving teachers valuable instructional time. 

These results are possible for your students, too. Learn how Playworks can help you improve student-educator relationships, belonging, and attendance by signing up for a quick no-obligation conversation. 

We’re also thrilled to be sponsored by IXL. 

IXL’s comprehensive teaching and learning platform for math, language arts, science, and social studies is accelerating achievement in 95 of the top 100 U.S. school districts. Loved by teachers and backed by independent research from Johns Hopkins University, IXL can help you do the following and more:

• Simplify and streamline technology
• Save teachers’ time
• Reliably meet Tier 1 standards
• Improve student performance on state assessments

🚀 Ready to see why leading districts trust IXL for their educational needs? Visit IXL.com/BE today to learn more about how IXL can elevate your school or district.