Death Readers: Star Wars: No Hope!! 

 Music: Action Epic by Komiku

How do you solve a problem like Delores? Doug and Robb discuss Harry’s behavior and experience no related personal growth whatsoever. The Readers get JIZZ in their ears before talking about their favorite flavors of Doritos.

Death Readers theme "Magical Dirt" by Sir Cubworth

This episode the Readers discuss the minutiae of manure while perfecting their pantomime. RoN doesn’t know how to handle Luna and maybe that’s good for him – RON. Definitely not Robb at all. Robb wants to see cartoons naked and somehow he doesn’t know how to use google.

Death Readers theme "Magical Dirt" by Sir Cubworth

Robb applies for a job at Pottermore. Doug learns why Ron deserves to be prefect and gets real about his fears (far too real).

Death Readers theme "Magical Dirt" by Sir Cubworth

Doug offers a better heart to heart with Harry than Dumbledore ever provided. Robb gets his weekly therapy and Professor Doug gives his first lecture on lying. To be clear... the readers do NOT invent a new word. What's up with Wizard Optometry?

Death Readers theme "Magical Dirt" by Sir Cubworth

Doug Ponders the exestiential dread of cartoons and Robb gives Doug an Etymology lesson he totally did NOT steal from the Big Lebowski. Doug finally gets validation... vindication... revelations?

Death Readers theme "Magical Dirt" by Sir Cubworth

Hey faithful listeners! It’s no secret that the Death Readers just recorded their commentary for the feature film “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets”! It’s a laugh a fortminute! (That’s like a fortnight... but in minutes...) It’s only available to our patron on Patreon. So hurry over to Patreon/deathreaders.com today for exclusive Death Readers content.

Doug is confident he’s solved all the mysteries of the seven book series... by the end of book four... except of course the mystery of Rita Skeeter but pay no attention to that!

Death Readers theme "Magical Dirt" by Sir Cubworth

In this episode The Readers wonder, "Who died first?" Robb forgets Bertha Jorkens. How much of this book is necessary? Robb proposes a BBC miniseries remake!

On this episode of Death Readers; Robb totally lies about June-uary Embers, Mrs. Weasley if you’re nasty, Doug criticizes the length of the... school year, and all the good ones start with ‘H’... except Harry.