From youth-group exorcisms to YouTube deliverance rabbit holes, we trace how demon talk replaces science—and why that harms real people. We do a text-level audit (Job’s ha-satan, Isaiah’s “morning star,” and the God-of-the-gaps habit), contrast Catholic exorcism rules with charismatic chaos, and ask whether “the devil made me do it” just dodges responsibility. Then we reclaim Halloween with a grab bag of “things we weren’t allowed to watch” that won’t send you to hell: Lucifer, The Craft, Scream, and a certain bespectacled wizard.

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