Delusional Diaries

this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz kick things off with a hilarious deep dive into Halley’s ongoing coffee conspiracy. After her viral latte video, she’s convinced her local shop is purposely sabotaging her order: burnt espresso, missing flavors, the works. from Uber Eats hacks to wondering if the baristas secretly hate her, it’s a full caffeine-fueled saga that sets the tone for the episode’s blend of comedy and chaos.

the conversation spirals into astrology, creative burnout, and a bit of a look into the realities of influencer life. the girls get real about how nonstop travel, brand deals, and constant pressure to create can drain inspiration, while also reflecting on how much their lives have evolved since they started. they open up about balancing relationships, fighting scarcity mindsets, and handling criticism from people who say they’ve “changed.” it’s like something inbetween a vent session and candid insight into what it’s really like behind the curated feeds.

to wrap things up, they switch gears with nostalgic back-to-school memories, playground favorites, and even the rise and fall of silly bandz and Webkinz. plus, they answer a listener dilemma about guy best friends crossing the line and imagine the ultimate “day from hell” itinerary in New York City. from childhood flashbacks to savage hypotheticals, this episode is messy, unfiltered, and oh-so Delusional Diaries.

Timestamps 

0:24 - Salted Tahini Latte Drama

3:52 - Our August Horoscopes, busy lives, and thoughts on influencer marketing 

21:56 - Back to school 

34:57 - SillyBandz & our favorite trends from school

41:46 - A question from our listener 

43:04 - A NYC day from Hell 

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this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz take you through a whirlwind of updates, laughs, and a little chaos. from Jaz’s candid talk about body changes and jean sizes to Halley’s Montauk staycation complete with beach views, shark sightings, and wild Hampton crowds, they share all their recent shenanigans… they also share why their Costa Rica trip got canceled, swap stories about festival life, Jaz fresh from Lollapalooza, and break down the extremes fans go to for barricade spots. between packed coffee shop lines, overpriced party tickets, and Surf Lodge’s impossible entry rules, the girls keep it real about what’s worth the hype and what’s not.

the episode then dives into the realities of influencer life, as they discuss why people hold creators to a higher standard than their own friends and the bizarre nitpicks that show up in comment sections. from defending a lighthearted dog joke to tackling the “no benefit of the doubt” culture online, Halley and Jaz aren’t afraid to call out the double standards they face. they also touch on messy friendship politics: like suddenly seeing your ex-friend post with someone they used to trash...

of course, it wouldn’t be Delusional Diaries without a crash-out rant or two. Jaz unleashes on West Elm’s customer service nightmare, and her newest addition to her family. there’s also talk of vision checks without insurance, LASIK horror and success stories, and mutual squeamishness over needles. it’s a full ride of personal drama, lighthearted banter, and the kind of unfiltered storytelling that makes you feel like you’re in the room with them!

Timestamps

0:24 - Jaz’s new info 

2:38 - The Hamptons this summer 

10:49 - All things music festivals 

14:20 - Back to Alaska 

17:30 - Holding influencers to a higher standard than your own friends?

22:50 - Posting your 7th grade opp on your Instagram story? 

24:22 - Bitching hour 

38:27 - Jaz’s biggest crashout of all time

Links 

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if you’ve ever felt like you’re one meltdown away from a wellness era or two iced coffees into a spiral, this episode is going to be your comfort zone. Delusional Diaries returns with the kind of unfiltered conversations that cover everything from habit-building and hot girl workouts to that deeply relatable sense of “i’m trying, but also… i’m tired.” it’s less self-improvement and more self-awareness (with a side of Diet Coke).

Halley & Jaz get real about the intersection of health, stress, and identity, peeling back the curtain on what it’s like to navigate chronic illness while keeping up appearances. there’s talk of gut issues, liquid diets, and the emotional toll of feeling “off” in a world that expects you to be on. but somehow, it’s still funny, because vulnerability and sarcasm go hand in hand here.

and naturally, things derail in the best way: from irrational fears (reborn dolls, anyone?) to the politics of bridesmaid dresses, twins, minivans, and blacking out at weddings, it’s the usual delusional chaos, full of tangents, truths, and the kind of late-night debates only best friends can have. tune in, spiral with us, and feel like you’re one of us in this first episode of august

Timestamps 

0:36 - Jaz’s and Halley’s health updates 

16:30 - Halley’s biggest fear

18:47 - Oceans, waves, and riptides 

20:34 - What are we not good at 

27:30 - Bitching hour 

36:06 - All things bridesmaids dresses

41:36 - Whose most likely to… 

Links

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in this week’s episode, Halley and Jaz are breaking down SO MANY TOPICS: starting with the viral TikTok comments about pregnancy rumors and a spontaneous ear bleed (yes, you read that right). the girls deep-dive into the messy world of gender reveals, pregnancy expectations, and the irrational emotional rollercoaster of wanting a baby… eventually. from Botox updates to debating if it’s ever okay to be disappointed by your baby’s gender, they dish it all with their signature mix of honesty and humor.

then it gets a bit unhinged, in the best way possible, as they unpack the internet’s latest obsession: the woman who stole $1300 worth of goods from Target and said, “I’ll just pay now.” this naturally leads to Halley and Jaz sharing their own teen stealing confessions, Jaz’s traumatic memory of being the first-ever Target customer in Alaska, and a spiral into the chaotic world of retail stories and their teenage jobs. Plus: the ongoing saga of their Pickle closets, unsolicited DMs, and influencer pet peeves.

to wrap it up, the duo dive into their chaotic travel updates, Jaz’s terrifying solo flight on a mini plane, and their excitement (and exhaustion) over upcoming plans. from Costa Rica content trips to fall cravings, puppy fever, HR cheating scandals, and Justice store memories: you’ll laugh, reminisce, and relate to every second. as always, it’s real, delusional, and completely unforgettable.

Timestamps

0:18 - Comments about Jaz being pregnant  

2:23 - Our thoughts on gender reveals 

7:58 - The Target Thief 

17:05 - Our jobs in retail

22:38 - Bitching hour 

26:32 - Peaks and Pits 

35:25 - Coldplay Concert Scandal 

40:45 - How do singers go on tour 

42:55 - Itching for a new dog

Links

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Halley and Jaz are back: with way too much to catch up on. from summer travel whiplash to an exciting (but mysterious) Costa Rica work trip, they’re trying to slow down… but obviously, that’s not happening. they recap Halley’s Europe adventures, reflect on hosting everyone except themselves all summer, and spiral over how there are somehow only eight weekends of summer left. (how did that happen?)

naturally, the convo devolves into a full Love Island debrief. spoiler alert: they don’t trust the producers, they’ve got big opinions on Nic and Olandria, and yes, they’re still obsessed with Amaya. they also get deep about cancel culture, double standards between men and women, childhood bedroom redesigns, babysitting horror stories, sneaky Rite Aid thefts, and why college dorming should honestly be illegal. ALSO: a lot of your questions get answered, and the answers are JUICY!

this episode is a chaotic cocktail of nostalgia, unfiltered advice, and friendship rants with a side of sassiness & tea-spilling. it’s everything you didn’t know you needed: just press play and let the rollercoaster begin. 

Timestamps 

0:22 - Travels & life updates

3:15 - Love Island Finale 

10:20 - Our take on music these days

13:08 - Would we buy the original Birkin 

15:12 - Questions from our followers 

38:08 - Do Kevin and Reed get to have opinions when it comes to decorating the houses 

43:16 - PB Teen & American Girl Dolls 

Links

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this week on delusional diaries, halley and jaz are back and buzzier than ever… literally fresh off getting their ears re-pierced and botox topped off (because, duh). they’re taking you inside the chaos of their lives lately: wimbledon, pimm’s, why jaz is officially back on her “freeze my face” era…

but that’s just the beginning. halley spills all the details on her eurotrip-esque paris + london adventure, from chaotic eurostar nightmares to staying at the ritz, plus yes, we finally get the tea on why reed didn’t propose 

the girls also reflect on aging, looking hot at 50, married life weirdness, family holiday traditions (including an accidental thanksgiving meltdown, oops), and the constant struggle of being hot and hyper-analyzed on camera.

botox? yes. wimbledon? yes. almost crying at the train station? also yes. this episode is everything you could wish for… 

Timestamps:

0:17 - Our new additions 

2:51 - Botox refresh

8:06 - Wimbledon & our love of tennis

12:53 - We need some sleep

15:22 - Euro travels 

24:13 - Jaz is a sister-in-law

30:36 - Workout accountability 

37:44 - Jaz’s house

Links 

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this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz are in the Hamptons with fresh summer cuts and full of 4th of July energy. the episode kicks off with a much-needed hair update and a debate over who really has the shorter cut. spoiler: no one actually knows what an inch is. they swap stories about childhood holiday traditions, chaotic firework moments, and working family fair booths. 

they also dive deep into their own anxious inner child moments, like waking your mom up at 2AM and silently praying you wouldn’t get screamed at, and share a few reflections on religion, OCD tendencies, and growing empathy for their moms now that they’re older. it’s equal parts hilarious and weirdly healing.

of course, it wouldn’t be a Delusional Diaries episode without some breaking down of reality TV and whatnot. the girls go in on the current Love Island season, debating who’s real, who’s fake, and who’s getting done dirty by editing. throw in some blackout flashbacks, boat day dreams, and home renovation updates, and you’ve got the ultimate summer chaos.

Timestamps:

0:16 - We got our Summer cuts 

3:04 - July 4th nostalgia 

11:15 - Jaz 4th of July redemption year 

14:19 - when you had to wake up your parents in the middle of the night 

19:36 - Love Island thoughts pre-frontal lobe convos 

28:25 - Jaz’s new house updates 

36:57 - What’s your villain origin story 

46:30 - What conspiracy theory do you believe 

49:21 - Kylie Jenner lip kits 

50:43 - Sleepovers growing up and our sneaking out stories 

Links: 

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this week on Delusional Diaries, Halley and Jaz are recording from the Hamptons (!!) and taking you inside their whirlwind of adulting chaos, dream purchases, and so much more. from Jaz buying her literal dream car (a vintage yellow beetle, those who know, know) to co-owning a BOAT with Halley (yep, you read that right), the girls are leaning all the way into their main character lives. they talk about dream dates, anxiety meds, getting boat licenses, and how they’re basically chosen family now.

on top of that, a very special Tulum recap, the most unhinged hangover stories, and why Halley fought Amex customer service with the wrath of a thousand suns. and if you’ve ever wondered whether these two could survive in a war? that gets answered too (kinda). this is one of those episodes you won’t wanna miss… 

Timestamps

0:17 - Everything Hamptons 

14:11 - Flight anxiety and future travels

25:42 - Tulum and WaterBoy

29:00 - Banning phones at concerts?

30:48 - Ideal date 

34:18 - Our travel dynamic 

37:19 - Worst hangover stories

49:20 - Reasons we couldn’t be drafted into war 

52:36 - Would you rather… 

Links

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this week the girls aren’t alone… they are joined by Connor Wood — comedian, touring performer, and social media personality. you might know him from his stand-up shows or his viral Instagram reels, but today he’s steering the conversation right alongside Halley and Jaz.

he sits down with the girls this week & opens up about so many things that are going on in his life, he shares stories about touring, including a heartfelt appreciation for the Midwest and he lets us in onto a day of his in NYC. the trio has a very insightful conversation regarding the dating scene in LA vs. NY, flight anxiety, wellness trends and novelties, being ghosted and a lot more… 

this episode is chaotic, vulnerable, hilarious, and Connor fits in like he’s been on the pod forever. make sure to tune in & listen anywhere you stream your favorite podcasts… this one is not to be missed!

Timestamps 

0:21 - How we tricked Connor into coming onto the podcast 

6:48 - Connor left his wallet in a taxi 

11:59 - We are nervous flyers 

18:48 - Connor’s day in NYC 

25:47 - Our DMs are getting blown up about Connor 

36:12 - Why did Connor move to New York 

40:47 - What’s Connor’s pre and post show routine? 

51:31 - Connor’s parents coming to his show 

Links 

SeatGeek: Use code delusional10 for 10% off your next SeatGeek order 

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this week, the episode starts with Halley and Jaz’s opinions on having a right to know where an influencer stands when it comes to politics and current events. the girls then take it way back to the beginning. in a full-circle episode of delusional diaries, Halley and Jaz get reflective as they walk through how this entire journey started—from Jaz in Alaska and Halley in Virginia to becoming best friends, content creators, and now co-hosts of a podcast that spirals weekly.

they get into what it’s really like to build a business with your best friend, including how they handle creative disagreements and survive the chaos of content deadlines and constant comparison. it’s honest, hilarious, and refreshingly real.

also on the table: their *particular* dream rotations, how they feel about aging, their biggest cringe moments on the internet, their origin stories with each of their dogs, and so much more…

whether you’ve been here since day one or just joined the delusional crew, this episode is perfect to get to know Halley & Jaz. peak friendship, peak chaos, and exactly the kind of spiral you’ll want in your ears all week.

Timestamps 

0:50 - Our opinion on influencers commenting on political events 

7:46 - Full story on how we met 

11:50 - Working with your bff 

14:17 - If you weren’t influencer what would you be doing now?

19:02 - Do you have any posts you regret?

23:20 - How were you not embarrassed when you first started posting?

25:46 - Our dogs 

30:40 - Do you ever regret being an influencer

36:16 - How did Halley and Reed start dating 

45:55 - Where are we from 

49:51 - Our dream blunt rotation 

Links: 

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