Desire on Fire

A couple of weeks ago, I told you that I'd invited a guy I'd met once to join me for a 7-day tantra retreat for couples.

I'd been wanting to go on another Tantra retreat for a while, and I felt so called to this retreat for couples, even though I'm not currently in a relationship. And then I felt pulled to invite Alex Waters, even though I barely knew him at all.

I know, I know: on the surface, it doesn't make sense.

But I've learned something so important in these last few years: our true, soul-led desires make a deeper kind of sense. And they're worth following, for so many reasons.

There is SO much to share about those 7 days. So many challenges and unexpected moments of devotion and surrender, and I know that I am forever changed. This absolutely feels like an expansive beginning.

And as it turns out, Alex was the perfect partner for that week — open, vulnerable, adventurous, compassionate, all-in, and sexy af.

So in today's podcast, we sit down together and talk about our week together, what we learned, and what's next. This is what happens when you say an outrageous yes to an outrageous invitation!

What you'll learn in this episode:

• What agreements, boundaries, and intentions we had in place before the retreat
• How letting go of expectations created a space for exploration and play
• The things that surprised us the most
• The sexy assignments we had each day
• What triggered us — and how we moved through those moments together
• What's next for us (hint: I just got my tickets to Australia!)

Want to get a taste of Aimee + Ellie's teaching and the Desire on Fire Community, for FREE?

Join The Pleasure Revolution, 5-Day Challenge, Aug 8-12, 2022.

Use the code PODCAST at checkout, to register for free! www.thepleasurechallenge.com

Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California!

www.desireonfirelive.com

Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Alex:

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/alexanderwaters

My friend Kim Mellor is a total powerhouse. She's a manifestation queen, a coach, a podcaster, a changer of lives.

She was so used to harnessing her masculine side — the doer, the achiever, the get-er-done mentality. She had mastered mindset and business strategies for success.

But she said she always felt like something was missing. There was a part of her that was hidden away. Suffocated, tamped down, numbed.

Like a lot of Brits, she was shy about talking about sex and desire. But it was more than that — it was like she couldn't speak her truth when it mattered most. She avoided conflict. She couldn't ask for what she wanted in relationships, and consequently was attracting connections that left her feeling lonely and resentful.

When we met in Bali 18 months ago, we immediately hit it off. She was surrounded by women who embody a different way of approaching desire, sex, success, and work. It was triggering for her … but it was also undeniably appealing.

I could sense in her this desire to start embracing her feminine energy — to say yes to more softness, surrender, rest, and trust in the guidance of her inner knowing.

In this interview, we talk about what happened when she finally said yes to Pleasure Mastery — what came up, what challenged her, what shifted, and what has totally transformed for her in just over a year.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• What happens when a manifestation queen also becomes a Pleasure Queen
• The major thing that blocks women from saying yes to a desire-led life
• What's underneath all this work around pleasure (it's probably not what you think)
• The biggest thing Kim has gotten from this work, and how it has affected every area of life, love, and business

Want to get a taste of Aimee + Ellie's teaching and the Desire on Fire Community, for FREE?

Join The Pleasure Revolution, 5-Day Challenge, Aug 8-12, 2022.

Use the code PLEASURE at checkout, to register for free! www.thepleasurechallenge.com

Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California!

www.desireonfirelive.com

Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Kim:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimmellor_

Website: https://www.kimmellor.com/

We're often conditioned to see an intense "down" — time of loss, grief, anger, struggle, jealousy, betrayal, stuck-ness — as something we need to get past as quickly as possible so we can get back to having fun and experiencing pleasure.

Our culture says that feeling "up" is good and feeling "down" is bad, which can lead us to compulsive behaviors that momentarily make us feel good — even when they're not healthy for us long-term and actually pull us away from the things we say we want the most.

I recently sat down with my good friend Paige Wilhide. You may know her as an amazing breakup coach or the emcee at our Desire on Fire Live events.

In this episode, we talked about the reckoning and awakening that brought her to her knees and landed her in Bali — and what she discovered about healing, real sisterhood, letting go of external validation from men, and the beauty in the mess.

There's something in Paige's journey that we can all relate to. And there's so much power in the question she wrestled with: What happens when we stop hiding out from the transformative work that our down time is inviting us into?

And could it be that the pain we're avoiding right now is the very thing that, when faced honestly, would finally allow us to experience our desires and pleasures at their fullest?

What you'll learn in this episode:

• What it means to "approve" of the down times — and why it's so crucial
• Why Paige chose to enter a 12-Step recovery program, and what she learned from the initial "withdrawal" period
• The invitation from Aimee that was the turning point
• What happened when she shared vulnerably at her first women's circle in Bali
• How to deal with this one HUGE misconception about desire that many women have

Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California!

www.desireonfirelive.com

Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Paige:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paigewilhide/

Website: https://www.breakupbreakthrough.com/

One of the biggest struggles of the personal/spiritual growth community right now is the tendency to trip into spiritual bypassing.

The wounded parts of ourselves are too painful, so people default to nothing but "love and light!"

Adrian Ellison is here to disrupt that unhealthy tendency. She's a modern-day medicine woman out of Austin TX who understands that the Shadow is a critical part of our wholeness. When we deny it, it doesn't go away. It runs the show. Only when we allow ourselves to see it do we have a chance of operating from a more grounded, healed place.

Today, through her Awaken the Medicine community, she shows people how to acknowledge, understand, and integrate their Shadows so that they can activate their own intuitive healer within.

This is such a powerful episode with so much that is essential for us to understand right now.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What shadow work is, what it isn't, and why it's a non-negotiable part of true growth
• How un-dealt with shadows can manifest in chronic physical, emotional, and relational illness
• What's going on in the brain — and how to get out of triggered unconscious response
• How shadow work can heal pieces of us we didn't even know were wounded
• Concrete ways in which this work helps us deal in a healthy way with relational conflict — even the really big stuff

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Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California!

www.desireonfirelive.com

Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Adrian:

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/adrianellison/

Website: https://www.awakenthemedicine.com/am-community

Staying emotionally, physically, sexually, and spiritually intimate is challenging enough for any of us, at any time in life.

But add to that mix a newborn — with the sleep deprivation, body changes, constant outflow of energy and limited inflow, and the vulnerability of needing so many new things and making so many adjustments — and the dance of intimacy takes on many unexpected steps.

So how do you keep the dance sexy? How do you stay sensual, playful, and open while navigating the challenges of new parenthood?

When it comes to cultivating unguarded communication, connected conflict resolution, and transformational sex for committed couples — there's no better pair than Megan Lambert and James Mattingley.

Both as a couple themselves and as coaches, these two are amazing at embodying the sacred feminine and masculine while keeping it extremely real and down to earth.

In this interview, I go deep with both Megan and James and ask questions about many of the challenges couples face in this new chapter of their lives: making time for intimacy, learning to see the tender need underneath the complaint, getting to know your body all over again, and taking radical responsibility for the quality of connection.

I learned so much from these two in this conversation, and I know you will, too, no matter where you are in your journey.

What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• The biggest things that have changed since Megan and James's baby was born
• The choices we have in every moment of conflict and complaint
• The hilarious (and oh-so-honest!) nickname they have for their baby
• How Megan got reacquainted with her pleasure, and how they rediscovered their sex
• How they keep it sensual and attentive, even when things feel crazy
• The counter-intuitive truth about spontaneity
• Megan and James's favorite daily tools for nourishing connection

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Megan here:

IG - https://www.instagram.com/megandlambert

Website - https://www.megandlambert.com/

Connect with James here:

IG: https://www.instagram.com/james.mattingley

Website: https://www.jamesmattingley.com/

This is Aimee, and I recently had an experience that was exciting, expanding, and full of surprises of all kinds — my first time having sex with another woman.

This felt like a big deal for a number of reasons (which I share in this episode), so I invited my dear friend Kelley Bode back to the podcast to interview me and have a real, no-holds-barred convo about this encounter.

In this episode, you'll get it all: the draw I couldn't deny, the ways I felt challenged, how I stayed true to myself, and all the juicy (and oily!) details of the night itself.

This is a pretty vulnerable share for me, but I want to explore it out loud, because my hope is that it can bring some opening for other women who might have been in the same place as I was.

I'm on this journey to honor and listen to ALL of my desire — which includes both my sacred "yes" and my sacred "no." And part of this work is recognizing when (and why) something that's been a "no" for a long time might become a "yes" when the person, place, and time are in alignment.

I think you're gonna love this fun, sexy, playful, electric conversation!

What you'll learn in this episode:

• My past experiences of desiring women — and how this time was different
• How this woman challenged my Erotic Blueprint in super surprising ways
• Why it's totally possible to have a desire and not be attached to its immediate fulfillment
• How I used super-clear, up-front communication to make this experience the most fulfilling it could be (and what we miss out on when we don't say the thing that needs to be said)
• What this "means" about my sexual orientation (probably not what you expect)

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Join us (and 300+ women!) in person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California!

www.desireonfirelive.com

Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Kelley Bode:

Check out Kelley's Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/kelleymbode

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Betty Dodson - My Romantic Love Wars https://bookshop.org/books/my-romantic-love-wars-a-sexual-memoir/9781522685142

David Deida: https://deida.info/

The incomparable Cait Scudder joined us in March, in her 3rd trimester with her second baby — and she is ALIVE with wisdom, clarity, and the real power of a woman who knows who she is and who is willing to hold and share the fullness of her true self.

In 2017, Cait was a scrappy solopreneur expat in Bali. She'd moved there to be with her now-husband Toby, trying to get a side hustle going, not quite sure where she belonged and seriously struggling with imposter syndrome.

Five years later, she's a lit-up, wildly successful, empowered, Forbes-featured, TEDx-speaking, podcast-hosting entrepreneur with over $15M in client revenue.

And here's what we love even more: she doesn't hide the tough stuff. She is so honest, so genuine, so no-holds-barred about both the glory and the struggle. It's easy to see why clients love her and why she is a mentor and inspiration to so many — including us. You're going to love this conversation!

What you'll learn from Cait in this episode:

• Her journey from teacher to multi-7-figure business coach
• Harnessing the real power of our multidimensional selves
• What Cait says saved her from postpartum depression
• The importance of a solid backend in your biz
• How she handles "Mom Guilt" (it's a real thing)

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Cait:

www.cait.co

Check out Cait's Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/caitscudder/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

If you've experienced the journey of pregnancy or have been curious about it, you've probably already noticed how fraught it can be. There are so many opinions, voices, and expectations out there about what to do, what not to do, what to eat, and how it all "should" be.

What if there's a way to step outside all those clamoring cultural voices and just tune inward?

As you know, our very own Ellie just had her baby on May 23rd!

In this unique Q&A (while she was still pregnant), Ellie offers her firsthand experience of cultivating a pregnancy journey that has been honest, nourished, sensual, and deeply connected to her body's innate wisdom. She shares how she plans to spend those essential first 40 days with her new baby boy, how she's stayed healthy, her surprising cravings, why she's planning for a home birth, and so much more.

In this episode, you'll learn about:

• Holding sacred boundaries when it comes to talking about your pregnancy and birth choices
• Doulas and midwives: what's the difference?
• Trusting and surrendering to the process of becoming a mother
• How staying in touch with sensuality can dramatically shift your pregnancy experience

This episode was recorded live in our Inner Circle Membership!

Ellie's Pregnancy Resources mentioned in the episode:

Links to order Juice Plus:

Capsules (I use fruit, veggie, berry and vegan omegas)

Shakes

Why I take Juice Plus as my prenatal

Body Oil, Burt's Bees Mama Hydrating & Smoothing Skin Care with Vitamin E, 100% Natural, 4 Ounce

My doula

Books:

Spiritual Midwifery: Fourth Edition

The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Guide to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality

The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother

Join us (and 300+ women!) in-person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 1-2 in Southern California!

www.desireonfirelive.com

Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

We love inviting aligned male energy into the Desire on Fire orbit!

Bryan Reeves is a former US Air Force Captain — a man's man in the eyes of the world who grew up with all the emotion-denying messages that young American boys and men grow up with.

After a debilitating heartbreak in his late 20s, he finally decided to undertake the huge journey back to himself. He learned how to break free from the damaging social conditioning that was keeping him from experiencing real love and intimacy, and today he is a globally-renowned relationship coach and author.

We discuss some of the major struggles men and women face today in relationships, including how to have authentic, skillful communication and how to navigate conflict in a way that preserves deep respect, love, and connection. Ladies, this is the perfect episode to listen to with your partner!

In this episode, we explore:

• How healthy relationships can help balance and soothe our nervous systems
• A game-changing way to approach honesty (we're often missing a secret ingredient)
• Why "controlling" your emotions isn't the answer — and what you actually need for better wellbeing and life-giving relationships

Connect with Bryan:

https://bryanreeves.com/

https://www.instagram.com/bryanreevesinsight/

http://www.youtube.com/c/BryanReevesOfficial

"The Boundaries Program: Relationships Suck Without Boundaries!" is on sale at https://bryanreeves.com/Boundaries/

Join us (and 300+ women!) in-person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 1-2 in Southern California!

www.desireonfirelive.com

Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

You've heard us (Ellie and Aimee) talk a lot about the live Desire on Fire Experience — but what are the actual experiences of women who have attended?

In this episode, we dive into a conversation with Jeanette, Caitlin, and Rachelle — three amazing past Desire on Fire Experience attendees. These women all came to The Experience from very different places. They were in varying seasons of life, had individual longings and struggles, and (as you'll hear) all had distinct responses to specific moments of the event.

They offer an intimate, courageous look at what they found inside The Experience: what they felt confronted by, what broke them open, and what's changed for them since.

We know you're going to love this conversation, and hopefully you'll hear some of your own story and feel the possibility of what The Experience could offer you.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• All the judgements, discomforts, and insecurities that came up for them along the way
• Learning how to discern resistance — and knowing when it's right to break through and say "yes" anyway
• What we can do when we encounter women who have what we wish we had
• What has shifted for these women as a result of participating in the Experience and other courses through Desire on Fire
• PLUS — how to save $500 on the upcoming Desire on Fire Experience in October 2022

Connect with Caitlin Lili:

Instagram: https://instagram.com/iamcaitlinlili

Connect with Rachelle Hoppel:

Instagram: https://instagram.com/rachellehopps

Connect with Jeanette Soloma Hale:

Instagram: https://instagram.com/solomafitness

Join us (and 300+ women!) in-person at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 1-2 in Southern California!

www.desireonfirelive.com

Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie