Desire on Fire

We're doing something we've never done on the podcast before!

We know that real sisterhood is medicine. The vulnerability, the intimacy, the no-BS reflections — this is the stuff that heals, expands, and empowers like nothing else.

The Inner Circle is a paid membership for women that have been working with us for years: graduates of our Pleasure Mastery Program, retreats, or leadership programs. And each month, we do a real-time Q&A with the biggest things they're facing.

And we realized something: there is SO much gold inside these calls.

These are women who are living from their desires, who are exploring all kinds of new ways of thinking, acting, and being in the world.

They are IN IT, doing this work with such heart. And witnessing that work in real time can be an incredible teacher for all of us.

We love our Inner Circle calls so much that we wanted to try sharing them with everyone! So with the permission of the Inner Circle members, we're trying something new.

We recorded this call and are offering it to you. It's basically a free mini-masterclass, filled with the wisdom that only sisterhood can bring. We hope you enjoy it!

Inside the episode you'll learn:

• How to handle uncomfortable conversations with people who disagree with you (especially when you crave their approval)
• Practical tools that can help you let go of spiritual bypassing and work with your rage so that it actually comes in service of your highest good
• Noticing the difference between and open-hearted boundary and a wall
• What you can do if you're experiencing intense PMS symptoms

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Spiritual Bypassing book Robert Augustus Master

Woman Code by Alisa Vitti

Code Red by Lisa Lister

Today we're diving deep with the sexy, playful Shaft Uddin!

At Desire on Fire, we always say that healing one area of your life never stays in that one area.

That's why when you work on expanding your desire, pleasure, and connection in your sex life, you find yourself with more of all of that in the rest of your life, too.

You begin to see powerful shifts in your romantic relationships, your work, your finances, and your sense of self-love. It's all connected!

For Shaft Uddin, that's the ultimate beauty of tantra and why it's such an effective tool for expansion, healing, and growth. The profound intimacy of tantra brings peace — and that has a miraculous, magical effect in all areas of our lives.

Shaft was SO generous with his story and with his healing journey. We know you're going to love his insights on sex, intimacy, trauma, healing old family wounds, and the immense power of forgiveness.

A self-described "juicy geek," Shaft is a yoni whisperer, tantric practitioner, somatic trauma therapist, and sacred sexuality coach.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Shaft's amazing personal story of trauma, forgiveness, and freedom
• What tantra is and why it's so powerful
• What happens in a tantric massage session
• Prompts for how to genuinely connect with difficult people in your life

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Shaft:

Website: http://www.sacredsexualawakening.com/

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/shaftuddin/

YouTube: youtube.com/user/shaftuddin

Resources/people mentioned in this episode:

Gina Swire: https://www.ginaswire.com/

Podcast episode with Gina

We're back after a 2-month hiatus from podcasting, blogging, promo-ing, and social media … and we're feeling GREAT.

A lot has changed in those two months. Like a LOT.

For one, we (Aimee, Ellie, Rob, and Bear) left LA and are now all living together in Austin, TX. And that's just the tip of the massive change iceberg.

Throughout the last several months, we've been slowly passing through what feels like a major portal.

It's been an initiation into what it really means to tune into and trust desire, especially when you don't have instant clarity about what's next and the place you are looks pretty damn perfect on paper.

Most of all, it's been an incredible growth opportunity and a chance to really experience the profound difference between acting out of urgency and waiting patiently for the Fuck Yes!

Today, we're diving into the intense portal that the last year has been for all of us — what we wrestled with, what we waited for, how we grew, and what we've learned.

Listen to find out:

• What made us decide to relocate
• How it's been working to have Aimee living with Ellie + fam
• Why Aimee was a "yes" to Austin — and things that have surprised her
• What it means to wait patiently for the clarity of your desire in a world that's obsessed with instant gratification
• How to trust the greater plan of the Universe, even when your life looks nothing like you wish it did

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

If you're an ambitious woman like our guest today (and like both Aimee and Ellie), you might know how easy it is to confuse your work with your worth.

It's so easy to get caught up in hustle and the masculine energy of go go go that we forget ourselves — our bodies, our desires, our wellbeing.

The feminine path isn't just about appreciating our amazing bodies (though that's definitely part of it) and reconnecting with our desire and pleasure (also a huge component).

It's about how surrender is the current we ride into all the very best things in our lives: abundance, real love, pleasure, purpose.

We don't have to work and push to make things happen. The magic + medicine of the feminine is that she already knows how to allow every good thing. We just have to listen and trust her.

Today's guest knows the exquisite ecstasy of surrender, in part because she's already experienced the other side — the hard-driving, the achieving, the burnout, and the numb sense that no matter how much you work, you're never really going to "get there."

And she knows what happens when you let it all go and choose the path of rest, healing, listening, and deep trust.

Mel Wells is a bestselling author and an embodied leadership and intimacy coach for queens. She's trained in holistic sex, love and relationships, eating psychology, and holistic health — and she sees now how reconnecting with the Divine feminine is what holds all of this together.

She's also a blissed-out partner and brand new momma, and that journey is bringing home with even more tenderness the lessons of surrender. You're going to LOVE this wise, open conversation with someone who has journeyed far and found her way back to herself with such grace.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• The major shift Mel made in her business
• How she started to feel the call to move into the space of feminine work
• Why women have to address the "when/then" mindset if they want to be happy
• Her amazing love story with her current partner
• Her journey of pregnancy and the miraculous birth of her baby Sky

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Mel:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iammelwells/

https://www.instagram.com/thegoddesscollective_/

https://www.instagram.com/thequeendomcouncil/

Website: https://melwells.com/

Related episodes:

Doing Less, Living Cyclically + Experiencing More "Yum" With Kate Northrup

Have you ever wished there was a 5 Love Languages … but for sex?

You know: a way to know what nourishes you in the bedroom, what turns you on (and off), what turns your partner on (and off), what would lead to the most fulfilling, most satisfying sex you could possibly have.

That's what the Erotic Blueprints deliever!

When you know your erotic blueprint, you finally have a language to understand and communicate how you relate to eroticism. You'll be better able to communicate what you need. And you'll be able to let go of judgments around your own desires and those of your partner.

So knowing your erotic blueprint isn't just sex-life-changing — although it's definitely that! — it can actually be a vehicle for deep connection and healing with your partner. There's a reason this framework has become such a cornerstone of the work we do at Desire on Fire.

Today, Aimee is sharing an interview she did with Danielle Hatton on Danielle's podcast. Together, they're doing a deep-dive into the 5 Erotic Blueprints — what they look like, what they need, what their superpowers and shadows are, and how you can use these guides as a way to expand fully into who you are as a sexual being.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What the Erotic Blueprints are, how they work, and how they can transform your sex life
• How to work with them
• The biggest misconception about male and female sexuality
• What both Aimee and Danielle share in common when it comes to their blueprints
• How to talk to your partner about this work
• What you can do if you and your partner have very different blueprints (no, you don't have to break up!)

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Are you hiding your true personal style "in the closet"? What are you denying your true style desires — because you feel like they're too much, or not enough, or that your body isn't "right" enough yet to wear what you want to wear?

Celebrity stylist Elissa Williams (and stylist for Aimee and Ellie at the Desire on Fire Experience!) believes fashion is way more than just clothes and trends.

It's a tool for self-expression, empowerment, and manifestation in our lives. It's a way we communicate our real selves, and a physical representation of our self-love.

And at its root, leaning into our natural style can be a deeply sacred practice, because our clothes are a physical reminder of all we're becoming.

When we wear what we love and what makes us feel alive, free, sexy, abundant, and playful — regardless of the price tag — we're actually calling in more of the life we desire.

Elissa is a celebrity stylist and investor, speaker, founder of the Embodied Style Method and The School of Heart-Centered Styling.

She's a style alchemist, mixing fashion, self-expression, and a radical call to be the most evolved version of ourselves by creating a wardrobe that feels good and magnetizes abundance.

In this energetic, positive workshop, Elissa walks us through the keys to powerfully embodying your personal style.

She is FULL of bright wisdom, intelligent insight, and a totally magical approach to the simple, powerful act of dressing yourself each day.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Elissa's background and how she got where she is today
• Her surprising take on what "next level" really means
• Elissa's 5 steps to embody your personal style
• Why you should never hold back on getting different clothes when your body changes
• What to do when you're a Chanel girl who's currently living on a Target budget
• How she's found joy, abundance, and sexiness as a new mom

Listen, follow, and review our podcast here!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Elissa:

Website: https://www.theschoolofheartcenteredstyling.com/

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/elissamwilliams

Free guide: https://yourvirtualclosetconcierge.members-only.online/manifest

We know many of you have been following Aimee's unconventional adventures with Alex over the last three months.

From the Tantra retreat that was their first date to the 10 days in Australia that was their second, nothing about Aimee and Alex's experience has been ordinary.

Their chemistry was palpable right off the bat, their connection felt real, and they definitely shared important things in common: personal growth work, embodied practices, coaching, and embracing a spirit of adventure and curiosity together.

In this episode, Ellie joins Aimee as she shares the rollercoaster details of the last few weeks and the lessons learned as she and Alex decided to close this chapter of their relationship together.

Ellie witnessed it all play out in real time, as they were all together in Portugal for the final days — and her perspective as a loving friend and wise sister makes the conversation that much more real and honest.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• What led up to Aimee + Alex deciding to meet up in Portugal
• What felt amazing, what felt difficult — and when Aimee really knew it was over
• The moment when true sisterhood came into play to help Aimee face reality (why we need sisters, y'all!)
• Why Alex has been Ellie's favorite relationship for Aimee (so far), even though she knew the relationshift was the right thing
• What it means to "choose yourself" in the midst of emotional entanglement and difficult choices
• What Aimee is taking away from this experience, and what she's up to now

Join us (and 300+ women!) in person or virtually at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California!

www.desireonfirelive.com

Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Related episodes:

Tantra Retreat

In our culture, we tend to think of "success" as linear, and we measure it by "more" — more money, more stuff, bigger numbers, more followers, more work.

But when we look at the natural world, we don't see linearity anywhere. It's ALL seasons and cycles. Rest + work. Growing + birthing. Sowing + harvest.

So … why do we insist on running our lives by a measurement that is SO out of sync with our bodies, our souls, and literally all of nature and reality?

And why are we surprised that we're stressed, burned out, and that our creative, sensual, and erotic energy is dried up?

If you've done all the mindset work — the affirmations, the mantras, the positive thinking — and you still find yourself encountering the same struggles and roadblocks when it comes to work, money, and rest — then this episode is for you.

Today's episode with Kate Northrup is going to challenge and upend EVERYTHING you thought you knew about success, satisfaction, and how to get what you truly desire.

This is the perfect time to have Kate on the show, because we are in a season of huge change here at Desire on Fire, where we've been confronted again and again with what we thought "should" be happening vs. what is actually happening and what wants to be moving through us.

What happens when we let go of control, drop deeply into our bodies, allow the flow, honor the cyclical nature of reality, and actually … do less?

Oh how you're going to LOVE this refreshing, vital conversation with the incomparable Kate Northrup!

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What the patriarchal model is missing, and why it's time to let it go
• Why you might want to reconsider goal-setting
• The lie we believe about finances and fulfillment — and what we need to embrace instead
• How Kate approaches marriage, sex, and eroticism as a highly amibitious, successful woman (this one might surprise you)
• Why there is no direct relationship between our numbers (money, followers, clients, etc.) and our impact — and how this can free us up (this insight was huge for us)

Join us (and 300+ women!) in person or virtually at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California!

www.desireonfirelive.com

Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Kate:

Insta: @katenorthrup

Website: theorigincompany.co

Resource: The Business Pressure Relief Kit

Book: Do Less

If you met Danielle, you'd see an absolutely gorgeous, vivacious woman. And if you spent any amount of time talking to her, you'd immediately notice her depth, her curiosity, and her natural healing energy.

But like so many of us, she's spent a lifetime dealing with the shadow of body insecurity — picking up on societal messages, mirroring her own mother's struggles, being steeped in beauty and dance culture.

It wasn't until she started diving into her work with Desire on Fire that she began to look more closely at where these judgments were coming from — and what they were costing her. As she's moved deeper into living a desire-led life, she's found a way to "unhook" from these patterns, and that has given her an immense amount of freedom in her life.

Here at Desire on Fire, we talk quite a bit about "shadow work" — but that can sometimes feel vague to someone who's new to it.

So today in this vulnerable conversation between Ellie and Danielle, you'll get a concrete sense of what it means to face your shadows, to look at them tenderly, and then to release the hold they have on your life.

We hope you find this conversation to be as encouraging and inspiring as we did!

Danielle is currently a coach and breathwork teacher who works with clients virtually all over the world, and if you're lucky enough to live in London, you can now work with her in person.

In this episode, you will learn:

• How Danielle and Ellie first met
• What shaped Danielle's ideas of her own beauty and body when she was growing up
• The tipping point for her — and how the work with Desire on Fire has offered her new tools to deal with an old shadow
• What it was like for her to voice her desires for the first time at the Desire on Fire Experience
• What changes when you simply refuse to participate in old patterns (even when everyone around you still is)

Join us (and 300+ women!) in person or virtually at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California!

www.desireonfirelive.com

Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Danielle:

Website: https://www.daniellehatton.com/

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/daniellehattonn/

One of the foundational values of the work we do, and the work we love guiding other women through, is radical honesty.

And both of us have realized recently that we need to reconnect with this value when it comes to our struggles trying to "make it happen" with the upcoming Desire on Fire Live event at the end of October.

Because here's the deal: it's been a hard, challenging, stressful year of planning. And we weren't expecting that. In fact, we were expecting it to be smooth sailing. And we hung on for a long, long time to that expectation.

So when we seemed to encounter nothing but roadblocks — messaging snafus, canceled venues, date change, slow signups — we were really starting to feel stressed and discouraged.

We got so caught up in what wasn't working that we lost sight of everything that was there for us, everything we had to be truly grateful for, and in some ways even the heart of the Experience itself. We were talking about this year as if it were playing piggyback on last year — when in fact, 2022 is a dramatically different year in a thousand different ways, and we weren't honoring that reality as much as we could have.

So this episode is ALL about clearing the mess. We want to tell you what we've been learning (and re-learning) about this work.

That means sharing what's real. Getting back to our foundation of gratitude, abundance, and flow. Reconnecting with the powerful, fierce heart of the Desire on Fire Experience. And extending a heartfelt invitation to all of you to come just as you are, whatever that looks like this year.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• The rollercoaster of this year compared to last year
• Where we lost sight — and how we regained it
• Why Fall 2022 has a completely different feel (and very different needs)
• How this journey has called us to recommit to service
• What the DOFE really stands for

Join us (and 300+ women!) in person or virtually at the Desire on Fire Experience event, October 29-30, in Southern California!

www.desireonfirelive.com

Code: DESIRE for $500 off the regular ticket price!

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Related episodes:Ellie Shares Her Amazing Birth Story!

Excavating Your Shadows with Adrian Ellison