Desire on Fire

We love to hear from our community, and we love to share stories and breakthroughs with you! This work all happens inside of real lives… and there's no better way to understand its transformative power than hearing directly from the women who have been through our programs and events.

Last year, Prudence Stein-Greene was a successful real estate agent in LA — an extremely high-stress and high-drive industry.

At the time, she was struggling with a business decision, so when a friend invited Prudence to attend our Desire on Fire Experience live in LA, she said yes, thinking it would be a great opportunity to have a business breakthrough.

There was something else, something bigger that was underneath her reason for saying yes to DOFE: she was completely, utterly exhausted. With everything.

Her work was incredibly demanding. She was burning out and missing out on coveted time with her kids. She had no connection at all to what she even wanted — in her work, in her marriage, in her life. She resorted to controlling things and people around her, including her husband, blaming him for her dissatisfaction and why their marriage wasn't aligned.

Her friend encouraged her to spring for the hotel room, get away, and really devote herself to the work that weekend. She took the leap.

What happened in those couple of days changed everything. She had the business breakthrough… and a whole lot more.

We know you're going to love this conversation with Prudence. You'll get a real-life, down to earth take on what this work is, who it's for, what it can do for you, and why we are SO passionate about getting women in a room together for this experience!

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What her fears were coming into the event

• The powerful breakthrough she experienced — and what it led to when she returned home

• What's different for her now in her life, work, and relationships

• The big change she made that has allowed her to expand her ability to hold sensation in her body

• The next steps she took after DOFE to fully claim her purpose, joy + passion

Come join us Oct. 13-15 at Desire On Fire Experience LIVE in gorgeous Austin, TX! Get 50% off your ticket when you use the code COMMUNITY. https://www.desireonfirelive.com/desireonfire-experience

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Have you ever had a moment in your life when all your pain and accompanying coping mechanisms finally caught up with you?

When you finally saw with total clarity that if you wanted to be able to have any kind of happiness in life, you'd have to face that pain and find healing?

Our guest today is the relationship and intimacy coach Stefanos Sifandos — and he shares how that moment of getting "caught" forced him to reckon with a lifetime of abuse, fear, shame, and insecurity… and how that moment opened him up to the possibility of real love, deep connection, profound growth, and BIG impact on the world.

Today Stefanos is a husband and happy new dad, and in his work with individuals and couples, he helps people on the journey to loving all the parts of themselves that they've been trying to run from and getting back into healthy relationship with the core of what matters most to them.

And as he says: You can't run a new life from an old blueprint — and that applies to healing, surrender, intimacy, becoming a parent, and any kind of major personal transformation.

If you've been on the verge of big change, and you know the time is right to face and heal your past, we think you'll be deeply inspired by this heartfelt conversation with Stefanos!

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Where Stefanos got his start in transformational work

• How and why becoming a parent can feel like a "regression" in personal growth

• How shame holds us back – and what happens when we finally drop it

• Practical tips for balancing your nervous system when you're in anxiety & shame

• How commitment actually leads to feeling more free

Join The Pleasure Revolution: a live, 5-day guided experience for those who are ready to release the hustle and see how much more you can magnetize with your feminine energy leading the way. Join Us Here: https://bit.ly/TPRpodcast

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Stefanos:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stefanossifandos/

Website: https://stefanossifandos.com/

We've taken a break from our podcast lately — not because we don't love it, but because we realized we just needed to pull back on some aspects of the business to make room for all the change that's been swirling around us.

So today we're back, and we're sharing a deep-dive conversation about what's been going on in the business, in our relationships, and in our own personal growth as we navigate our transition to Austin together.

As we let the conversation flow, here's a theme that kept arising:

We are both deeply committed to practicing what we preach, and one of the most powerful opportunities we get to do that is when things are not working for us.

It's when we get stuck in "obligation" energy that we have the chance to reconnect authentically with a desire-led life.

It's when our most intimate relationships are experiencing their biggest challenges that we get to lean into radical honesty, sisterhood, and surrender.

It's when life doesn't meet our expectations that we have the choice to either stay stuck in judgment and resentment… or move into looking at all the patterns that aren't serving us and find the true medicine.

Choosing desire as a way of life is not easy. It will bring up ALL your shit and bring you to your knees.

And as we keep finding: it's also the key to unlocking a quality of freedom and joy in life that we couldn't even have imagined.

So listen in and catch up with us today!

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Navigating the complexity of living together as friends and business partners

• Aimee is confronted by her desire to go to Bali

• Why conscious relating is not for the faint of heart

• How to find the gold in situations that aren't meeting your expectations

• What it means to surrender when you're in the middle of true pain + challenge

• Discerning when it's time to surrender, and when it's time to speak up

• A sneak peek into Amy's most recent Tantric experience

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

One of the things that consistently brings women into the Desire On Fire community is shame.

Shame around sex for sure — wanting it, knowing what you want, asking out loud for what you want (often the most difficult and vulnerable part of our journey).

But it's not just about sexual shame. It's also about shame around all kinds of desire — for any kind of pleasure, fun, abundance, agency, freedom, or satisfaction.

Where does this shame come from? And how is it that even people who were raised outside of traditional religious environments and in sex-positive families (like Aimee and Ellie) still carry trauma and fear around sex and desire?

Our guests today have a unique perspective, because they grew up inside the conservative evangelical structures that gave rise to purity culture.

And through the long journey of exploration, unlearning, and finally being trained as sex therapists themselves, they've found a way forward towards healing, freedom, and wholeness — not just in their sex lives, but in the fullness of all kinds of desire.

If you grew up in purity culture (and spoiler alert: we all feel the effects of this paradigm, whether we grew up with religion or not), we think you'll find this conversation with Juila Postema and Jeremiah Gibson to be enlightening and deeply encouraging.

Julia and Jeremiah are currently the hosts of the Sexvangelicals, a sexual health podcast and education platform with the mission to support relationships in reclaiming sexuality following adverse religious experiences.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• How Julia and Jeremiah found their way to freedom (and to each other)

• What exactly is purity culture?

• How purity culture affects even non-religious people

• Why early + clear conversations around sex, pleasure, and desire are so important

• How you can begin your journey to break free from sexual shame

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Julia and Jeremiah:

Sexvangelicals website

Julia and Jeremiah on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexvangelicals/

Sexvangelicals podcast

People + resources mentioned in this episode:

DOF Episode with Elena Rossi on sexual healing after trauma

AASECT (American Association of Sexual Educators, Counselors, and Therapists)

Multi-Orgasmic Man, by Mantak Chia

Extended Massive Orgasm, by Steve Bodansky

Dr. Wednesday Martin

Sexvangelicals podcast episode with Kara Haug - Reframing Our Stories

Apple Podcasts summary:

If you grew up in purity culture (and spoiler alert: we all feel the effects of this paradigm, whether we grew up with religion or not), we think you'll find this conversation with Juila Postema and Jeremiah Gibson to be enlightening and deeply encouraging.

Julia and Jeremiah are currently the hosts of the Sexvangelicals, a sexual health podcast and education platform with the mission to support relationships in reclaiming sexuality following adverse religious experiences.

We're looking at the roots of purity culture, its far-reaching effects on everything we do — and how to find healing and freedom in truth, love, and community.

You know how we love to invite men onto our podcast, and today's guest brings a ton of depth, insight, and honesty around the male perspective.

Kevin Hermann is a highly skilled and experienced coach, specializing in business, leadership, and life coaching. He's led over 25 in-person retreats (that's a LOT of retreats!!).

But so much more than all these credentials and accomplishments, what you get from Kevin is just the transparency he brings to this conversation. He shares openly about being newly engaged and monogamous, what this new level of commitment has brought up in his relationship… and so much more!

If you've ever been curious about men's work — what it is, what it isn't, how it's changing — then this episode is for you.

You'll hear about what men are struggling with the most, what they need the most, and how connecting at a deeper level with themselves and other men is essential for their growth and wellbeing. (Sound familiar? We say the same about sisterhood all the time!)

You can find Kevin on Instagram where he's riffing on the evolution of the masculine and exploring the connection between style and spirituality.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• What Kevin thinks about polarity — its benefits and challenges for men and women

• How Kevin responds to the question, Where are all the good men?

• Why you can't push your man into being in a men's group (and a better way to introduce it)

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Kevin:

Kevin's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kev_hermann/

Kevin's website: https://www.kevinhermann.com/

Kevin on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevinhermann/

People + resources mentioned in this episode:

Dan Doty: https://dandoty.com/

David Dieda's The Way of the Superior Man

Groups recommended by Kevin:

Everyman

ManKind Project

Sacred Sons

Man UNcivilized

ManTalks

We've got another incredible Inner Circle Q&A call for you today!

As so often happens, there is a common thread that winds its way through all these powerful shares today.

Whether it's being a caretaker for an ailing family member, dealing with old patterns in your family dynamics, navigating the fear and tenderness of a new relationship, or living in the tension of taking on bold new things…

… today's brave women are all dealing in some way or another with what it means to jump in bravely, with total honesty and vulnerability, and then trust the Universe to give you what's best for you.

If you're seeking a straight shot of spiritual connection… then this episode is for you!

These calls are like parachuting right into the heart of why spirituality + sisterhood are SO important for transformation.

There is so much gold in these calls, and we're excited to share this one with you!

What you'll learn in this episode:

• What it looks like to finally stop playing games and manipulating men

• What you might be fundamentally misunderstanding about vulnerability in relationships

• Why money made in the energy of turn-on + alignment goes WAY farther than money made from force or obligation

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Lynne Forrest's Victim Triangle

Lynne Forrest's book, Guiding Principles for Life Beyond Victim Consciousness

Alison Armstrong

In her "before doing the work" life, this is what Tanai Milgram said about herself: My whole life, I was so proud that no guy ever hurt me, that I was always the one to run away or catch the asshole before he hurt me.

She'd left a trail of dozens of broken hearts in her wake … but she felt more alone and angry than ever.

Like a lot of girls, Tanai grew up with the conditioning that it wasn't okay for her to express her full range of emotion. Being kind, sweet, and compliant was rewarded. But expressing things like anger, disappointment, deep sorrow, shame, or even ecstatic joy — these were on the "not approved" list.

In this conversation, Tanai and I get to the very heart of why we close off so much, the price we pay for our silence and withholding, and what miracles start to happen when we FINALLY give ourselves permission to be fully self-expressed.

I think you'll find SO much to relate to here — the anger and resentment, the pain of not holding good boundaries, the absolute terror of being seen, the ways our bodies are constantly trying to send us signals, and the wild journey we're all on.

Today, Tanai is a Women's Intimacy Coach, podcast host, and somatic trauma healer. She's helped hundreds of women be unapologetically self-expressed in their relationships, using different styles of coaching, somatic meditations, retreats, and feminine embodiment practices.

And in her "after doing the work" life, she knows that the key to finding true, lasting love is — paradoxically — allowing yourself to be heartbroken. Tune in today to receive this juicy wisdom!

In this episode, you'll learn:

• All about Tanai's exciting journey and how she got where she is today

• What happens in our bodies and our lives when we repress our anger

• How her pussy was trying to communicate with her — and what happened when she finally listened

• The moment on a DoF retreat that was the turning point for her

• Why sisterhood matters so much — even if your "issue" is with men

• The key to finally attracting the kinds of men you say you want

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Tanai:

Check out Tanai's Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/tanaimilgram

Tanai's website: https://www.tanaimilgram.com/

Wild Ugly Beautiful Retreat in Mexico (with Rinsha Ballani) — happening this April!

The Unapologetic Program

Resources mentioned in this episode:

A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson

Landmark Education

It's not every day you hear about someone getting her start in the world of sexual education by opening up a sex shop with her mom — but if there's one word to describe our guests today, it's definitely "unconventional."

Amy Baldwin is a Certified Sexuality Educator with a degree in Psychology and a minor in Human Sexuality from San Francisco State University. In 2008, she opened Pure Pleasure Shop with her mother in Santa Cruz, CA.

Their first employee was April Lampert… and the rest, as they say, is history.

April showed up with a little less experience but a whole lot of fun and curiosity, and today she is the Vice President of Hot Octopuss, an innovative pleasure product company, and has dedicated her working life to educating people on a global scale about sexual pleasure, health and wellness, and pleasure products.

Together, Amy and April started the Shameless Sex podcast. Their goal is to engage in unabashed real talk about sexuality with a playful twist, so that people everywhere can be inspired to experience radical self-love, sexual empowerment, and shame-free intimacy.

Today we're diving in with Amy and April to talk about how to start using sex toys, what to do if you're curious (and maybe a little squeamish) about trying anal, and how to keep sex hot and alive in long term relationships.

You're going to love this no-holds-barred conversation with two hilarious women who know how to put pleasure first.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Where to start if you've never used sex toys before

• How to safely explore anal to increase pleasure

• How Amy and April got into business together

• Whether porn can be a positive resource in your own sex life

• Amy and April's tips for keeping the sizzle in long-term relationships

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Amy + April:

April on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aprillampert

Amy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amyshamelesssex

Pure Pleasure website: https://www.purepleasureshop.com/

Listen to the Shameless Sex podcast

Products + Resources mentioned in this episode:

Uberlube

Hot Octopuss sex toys

Esther Perel

Dipsea erotica

Bree Mills at Adult Time for educational porn

Tristan Taormino and Sex Out Loud Radio

Today we're giving you another peek behind-the-scenes, into a call with some of our inner circle clients.

And there must be something in the air, because this call definitely seemed to have a theme: navigating unknowns, holding tension in the in-between, and nurturing connection in our existing relationships as we're changing.

Here's something that not a lot of people talk about in transformational work: it can be lonely at times.

Yes, there are the highs. Moments of total magic and healing. Reaching new levels of love for yourself and others. Really feeling your own power. It's amazing!

And also? Sometimes that's weird for other people. They don't know how to handle it. You might worry about losing friendships, or dynamics changing. You might feel pulled to try and mend broken relationships, or to let go of those that aren't in alignment. You might realize that your old friendships can't quite hold the depth we crave — and it can be hard to know how to find that solid sisterhood you really desire.

In this call, we're going deep on what it means to surrender to this messy middle, and to trust that something greater is guiding you through.

What we cover in this episode:

• What to do with the fear of losing control

• How to stay intimate + vulnerable when we're going through intense transformation

• How sisterhood can help ALL your relationships

• How to listen to your body so you know when it's time for a change

• What it means to 'intentionally cause intimacy' when you're longing for more connection in your life

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

If you've ever felt yourself buying into the cultural idea that sexiness, play, and pleasure fizzle after a certain age … then stop everything you're doing and listen to this episode!

Today we're thrilled to have Tantra expert and international bestselling author Laurie Handlers on the show, and what an incredible conversation this is.

Laurie is full of fire — you can feel it. It's in her body, her voice, her stories. She oozes confidence and total Pleasure Queen energy.

Also? She knows her shit. She's been doing this work since 1978 and is one of the world's foremost authorities on Tantra and transformation through pleasure.

In this interview, we cover everything from BDSM and what makes a relationship sizzle to her first marriage at 75 and embracing lifelong sexiness.

You'll see why she's helped tens of thousands of couples and singles all over the world to experience the healing principles of Tantra and to discover why our higher purpose and creative life force are so intimately linked to our sexuality.

Trust us, Laurie Handlers is #goals and you're gonna love her.

What you'll learn in this episode:

• Why Laurie decided to get married at 75 (and their unique love story!)
• How women 50 years and beyond can stay sexy, curious + adventurous
• What Laurie saw was missing from Tantra that prompted her to write her bestselling book
• The importance of masculine and feminine energy to create whole-life integrity
• What made Laurie change her mind about BDSM
• The unusual definition of love Laurie and Michael hold — and why it works

Explore our website: https://www.desireonfire.com/

Come and join our FB community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesireOnFire/

And connect with us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desireonfire/

Connect with Aimee:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/aimeebatuski/

Connect with Ellie:

Check out my instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/elliemontgomerie

Connect with Laurie:

Website: https://lauriehandlers.com/

Instagram: www.instagram.com/laurie.handlers

Sex & Happiness book

Extraordinary Lovers retreat

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Existential Kink, by Carolyn Elliott

Rinsha episode on loving your body as it is

International School of Temple Arts (ISTA)

Miss Jaiya + Erotic Blueprint

Om Rupani, Tantra + BDSM teacher

Orgasmic Meditation

Guy Shahar + Tantra Speed Date

Landmark Education

Allison Armstrong