Someone recently asked me, “Am I spiritually bypassing?” •  I took that term to mean using one’s practice or spiritual path as an escape, or relief, from the responsibilities of regular life in this world  •  it is a relief in a way, to take a break from the relentless struggles of daily life  •  is it possible to practice meditation in a way that’s not bypassing all of that, while at the same time recognizing the need to have some relief from the relentlessness of life?  •  I think there is actually a parallel, or opposite, form of bypassing, something I would label “material bypassing”—avoiding our own spirituality our spiritual yearnings and insights by keeping busy and constantly occupying ourselves with an endless stream of worldly concerns  •  the challenge is to find some way of being skillfully and wholeheartedly engaged in both your life and your meditation practice—appreciating that we need to take a break from worldly concerns, but then we need to re-energize and engage fully in the world again.

Today I’d like to explore the problem of becoming an adult  •  the world of children is filled with magic and fantasy and stories, with vivid perceptions and playfulness  •  but as we grow up we’re supposed to get over all that, and develop adult-like qualities  •  gradually, year-by-year, the magical world of childhood fades away; all of that playfulness gets subsumed into the busy, “important” work of being an adult  •  yet many of the great spiritual masters say what we really need to do is to become more like children, and less like adults  •  in many ways spirituality is reconnecting with some kind of innocence and play and curiosity, and a certain kind of fearlessness that is a part of the childlike experience  •  we could take a lighthearted approach, a childlike approach  •  our spiritual practice could be less of another project that we take on with earnest determination, and more of an exploration of curiosity and interest and delight  •  I thought of a new word: “curiodyssey” (“curious odyssey”) — if we soften our earnestness, something more childlike, playful, and delightful can emerge in our meditation practice.

The word “compassion” can seem so overwhelming in the face of all the suffering in the world that it can stop us in our tracks  •  while we’re imagining all the great gestures of compassion that we might do, we can miss the small, ordinary, daily acts of compassion that really do affect our world  •  some of the hardest compassion to feel is just being present with suffering that isn't fixable  •  this is what people in the hospice setting often do: they simply sit with someone who is passing from this life  •  that simple act of being present with someone can bring about a quality of deep acceptance  •  compassion can also be a momentary thing that completely shifts the energy—a smile or a glance, a simple recognition of a human being who, like you, is suffering  •  such little moments  of connection are so subtle, but they ripple forward and can change our feeling for the whole day  •  at its core, that simple connection is really the seat of compassion; it may be even more important than the grand compassionate heal-the-world projects that we may imagine  •  it’s on the spot, it’s immediate, it’s not a big deal—but it can change everything for ourselves and for those we encounter. 

The attitude that’s encouraged whenever we embark on a spiritual journey is not to approach it simply as a means of self improvement, but to switch our normal way of operating so that we are thinking about others  •  traditionally this is talked about as beginning by raising bodhichitta and ending by dedicating the merit  •  when we sit down to practice meditation, or to begin any project, we start by connecting with tenderness of heart and the desire to use our actions in order to benefit others  •  arousing kindness and compassion is the beginning point, and it’s also the ending point  •  when we dedicate the merit, rather than regarding what we have just completed as our own private accomplishment, we take it as a further statement of commitment to all other beings  •  piece by piece, action by action, we are gathering a certain kind of power and energy that we can then turn outward  •  many of our actions, good or bad, start with little flickers of thought  •  we can work with the thinking process, deliberately shaping our thoughts in the direction of greater openness, kindness, and awareness.

We are all familiar with meditation as a way to tame and quiet the mind  •  another important aspect of meditation is clear seeing, or insight: the power of meditation to reveal the intricacies of the workings of our minds  •  a traditional image for untamed mind is that of a pond stirred up by the wind: all the silt in the pond is mixed with the water, making it murky  •  as the wind dies down—when we sit still and practice mindfulness—the water begins to clarify, and we can see more layers of what’s really going on within us  •  some things are quite beautiful, yet other things are painful to look at  •  it’s important to realize this power of meditation, because there’s a reason that we hide certain parts of ourselves  •  it’s not that easy to come to terms with the different corners of our being  •  it’s so important to be gentle and steady, and not immediately try to overcome all our hesitations about our own experience  •  step-by-step, through the practice of meditation, we are exposing who we are to ourselves  •  by removing firewalls and moats and protective mechanisms that deplete our life force and our energy, we can relax our guard and live more wholesomely and more full-heartedly.

Loneliness is a familiar experience, but it can feel very vulnerable and slightly threatening  •  we do lots of things to hide that feeling  •  my teacher, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, emphasized the value of relating to our loneliness but he also emphasized the value of being in community  •  this may seem like a contradiction, but in fact, by developing the strength to accommodate our own fundamental aloneness, we can actually be in community in a much stronger and more loving way  •  without that, if community were based solely on people leaning on one another, we could be knocked over very easily  •  loneliness is a fact  •  there are certain things in this life we have to do all by ourselves  •  we are born alone, and we die alone  •  a deep-rooted loneliness comes baked into life itself  •  one way of accommodating the reality of loneliness is to take loneliness as an ongoing default position, rather than as a mistake or a failure  •  we could recognize loneliness as a thread that runs through our life from the very beginning to the very end  •  but in order to accommodate the reality of loneliness, we have to actually get through the sometimes extreme pain of loneliness  •  showing up for our own loneliness can give us the courage we need to show up for others who are struggling with loneliness and abandonment.

The idea of teacher on the simplest level is the need to connect with people who know more than we do about something  •  in some ways a teacher in the contemplative world is more like a coach than a teacher, training people in a particular skill or role  •  a spiritual guide or teacher is someone who has actually practiced that field themselves, and understood from the inside out how to work with a particular discipline • many of us can recall people in our lives who have said the right thing at the right time, or pointed in the right direction at the right time, and even redirected the course of our lives  •  sometimes a teacher is just someone who knows a tiny bit more than you  •  the notion of teacher is not without controversy  •  I have deep gratitude for all those teachers in generations past who did the hard work of transmitting what they learned to others, thereby carrying on this amazing tradition of buddhadharma  •  I’d like to encourage you to reflect on the teachers in your life, and on how your actions and speech are teaching as well, impacting everyone you encounter.

Can you think of moments in your life when you’ve had a glimpse of something that might feel profound beyond words, and maybe slightly disturbing?  •  in those moments when we are stopped in our tracks we enter a different kind of space  •  it is as though there are two levels of reality operating at the same time  •  there is the conventional level, where we spend almost all of our time, just getting through the day  •  but underneath that is another level, some kind of underground rumbling below, that seems to be separated from conventional reality by a veil  •  there are times when that veil is lifted, and we are admitted to this other hidden reality, one that is just as real and just as true, and deeply affecting  •  such sacred moments seem to come up unexpectedly in the strangest circumstances, and also in the most ordinary circumstances  •  an interesting thing about meditation practice is that it has so many benefits on the purely conventional level, but it is also a portal, a doorway, into this second dimension — one that can heal the rift between the conventional and the profound.

Aspirations like the Four Limitless Ones are based on the recognition that our actions stem from simple thoughts in our mind; so why not put benevolent thoughts in our mind and see what comes of it?  •  but aspirations also present a challenge: how do we manifest and live up to those aspirations in our daily lives?  •  we begin by looking at ourselves — looking in an honest and curious but not harsh or judgmental kind of way — to see what is blocking those qualities from manifesting in us  •  we need to make an honest assessment of our thoughts, actions, behaviors, preferences and blind spots  •  instead of trying to be perfect, we are actually inviting in and digging up and recognizing our imperfections, because the only way to be liberated from them is to address them  •  when we see a disconnect between our aspirations and our actions, it gives us something to work with; it creates a possibility of bridging that gap to allow the power of the aspirations to bubble up within us.

What are aspirations? are they just thoughts? and if so, what benefit could they possibly have?  •  we have lots of empty thoughts, dreaminess, and ideas; even in one session of sitting practice all sorts of aspirations may arise, none of which actually result in anything  •  which leads to the question: what are thoughts, what is their role, and how should we relate to them?  •  when we practice, we look at our thoughts from a different angle: we don’t get rid of them, and we don’t feed them  •  we just regard them as the environment, like the weather, and return to the technique  •  but as we go about our day we have thoughts, and those thoughts have a lot of power  •  so how do we work with thoughts in that context? that’s where the notion of aspiration comes in  •  rather than getting into a kind of battleground mentality with ourselves, we plant something positive in our mind  •  we just plant positive thoughts in our mind like little seeds, almost like providing a landing pad for positive actions to grow and flourish.