Dice Will Roll

To arms! The Kingmakers have won their first major victory in the War of the River Kings, having saved the little town of Littletown from the maws of the wyverns. The battle may be won, but the war is far from over, and now they must hunt down their sinister spawnmother and prevent it from happening again! But are things as simple as they seem? Will both sides of the war play fair, and allow the victor to come down to whoever fights truest? Or will Pitax cheat at this too, just like they do with everything? Only time will tell, soldiers- for now, though, hold your shield and charge to the defense of the downtrodden- we've a war to fight in, boys!

Bombs get lit. War Crimes get discussed. Clocks get smashed.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... why did the political climate of early 2020 have to happen just as we got to the war arc?

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Of course, you realize, this means war! Betrayed by the Bandit Kingdom of Pitax, the Kingmakers find themselves back in St. Gilmorg, only to find it overrun by clockwork soldiers hellbent on reducing the city to rubble! With wyverns circling in the sky above and trolls on the horizon, it quickly becomes apparent to our heroes they have two options: take up arms and lead the Kingdom of Kilcela to victory against the heinous Pitaxian Hordes, or like, give up and die, I guess. And knowing the Kingmakers- their friends captured by villains, their home under attack, and their legacy at risk of being lost to history like countless other River Kingdoms before them- that means there's only one real thing to do. Onwards and forwards, Kingmakers- it's time to start a true War of the River Kings!

Machinemen get melted. Grapples get stung. Spells get charged.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... war! Huh! Good god, y'all, what is it good for?

Derry's Mass Combat Rules: https://www.reddit.com/r/Pathfinder2e/comments/dwxpba/mass_combat_for_pathfinder_2nd_edition/

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When the going gets tough, the party puts their hands on their hips and expresses total disbelief at how garbage the situation is, before sighing in resignation and doing it anyway. After the Kingmaker's top athlete is poisoned by a rival nation in an effort to sabotage their victory streak in the Rushlight Tournament, Improvisations have to be made, and the only other jouster even close to her level is the King himself! Faced with mounting challenges, both athletic and personal, the Kingmakers must weave their way through the intertwining politics of the festival and prove themselves the champions of the games! But are these games really what they seem at face value? Or is there more intrigue beneath the surface? And if there is... then what place does Kilcela have in all of this? It's time to carry on the torch and wrap up the tournament, fellas- if you can make it out in one piece!

Corsets get waved. Kisses get given. Chess Games get played.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... is there a cure for the itchy demon rash spreading around my inner thighs?

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On your marks! The Rushlight Tournament swings into action, and so too must our heroes! Taking the place of athletes to win the mighty Rod of Lordly Might for Kilcela, the Kingmakers find themselves pitted against the best and brightest of the River Kingdoms' Sportsmen. From ripped barbarian archers to petite lumberjack sorcerers, this sports showcase is more than a little out of the ordinary. But while all is fair in love and war, it might not be in sports! Can our heroes overcome the tricks and cheats of some of the less scrupulous kingdoms? Or will the best men fail to win? It's game time at the Lake of Mists & Veils, and it seems our heroes are here to win!

Notes get taken. Bullseyes get shot. Logs get split.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the best spell to cure insomnia?

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Animation is hell on Earth

Sports Festival Arc! Every good adventure should have one! But when you're invited there by a pompous King with a potential vendetta against your own and your list of events gets "lost in the mail"... are you really here to just play some sports? The Kingmakers find themselves caught in the flow of the Rushlight Festival without the right athletes, and must improvise to make sure the show can go on! Will our heroes rise to the occasion and become stars of the event? Or will they make fools of themselves and their nation in front of the most powerful elites of the River Kingdoms? Grab a flask and get ready to play- the tournament of a lifetime is about to begin!

Names get misspelled. Wine gets sipped. Books get read.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... what's the safest way to avoid attracting the attention of a master poisoner?

Patreon: www.patreon.com/dicewillroll

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Are we going to need a vacation from this vacation? It's been a long year for the Kingmakers since the defeat of the reborn Barbarian King, and Kilcela has grown to embrace the status of a true River Kingdom. So much so, that the neighbours are starting to take note of them! An invitation from their rival nation of Pitax brings them to the Rushlight Festival, a fair of fantasies that showcases the best and brightest of the River Kingdoms! But between a citystate of spies, a domain of deposed nobility and a  of assassins- can Kilcela stand out against the crowd and make an impression by winning the legendary Midnight Joust? Or is there more going on than meets the eye between our King and his old home?

Boulders get yote. Monsters get charmed. Revelations get made.

All this and more in the first episode of Kingmaker Book 5: WAR OF THE RIVER KINGS, where we ask the hard questions like... how can I convince my friends to try eating honey-roasted spiders from a food stall?

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What does it mean to be a hero? To some, it might be to do good for your people, no matter what. To others, it's an insatiable hunt for glory. It could very well come to be that two heroes might find themselves in direct opposition with one another... one to protect all that is pure, the other to conquer it. Funnily enough, you'll never guess what this episode is about! The spirit of Armag the Barbarian King lies within his wicked supersword, Ovinrbaane, the enemy of enemies, and the Twiceborn Warlord now finds himself facing the Heroes of Kilcela who wish to stop him from enacting his grim conquest of The Stolen Lands and beyond! Can the Kingmakers stop this cruel king from reigniting the flames of a long gone kingdom of blood? Or are they doomed to fall to the Enemy of Enemies and be the first to make up his throne of bone? 

Walls get mimed. Accidents are had. Tragedy strikes.

All this and more in this, the season finale of Kingmaker Book 4: Blood for Blood, where we ask the Hard Questions like... is it weird to try romance the Big Bad halfway through a duel with him?

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You might think you're tough. You might have slain monsters, saved villages and kicked butt. But you didn't do it in the Tomb of Trials, and the Tomb Master didn't see it, so it didn't count! Now PROVE yourself! The Kingmakers travel through the Tomb of Armag in pursuit of the Reincarnated Barbarian King, but they are not alone. A haunting voice echoes through the misty passages of the crypt, guiding them through terrible trials to prove themselves worthy of their place in this mausoleum of misery. Can our heroes overcome the tests laid out for them that will surely push them to their absolute limit? Or will they fall to their doom here, as the Twiceborn Warlord retrieves his terrible weapon, Ovinrbaane, the Enemy of Enemies?

Balls get rolled. Teeth get chattered. Naps get taken.

All this and more in this episode of Dice Will Roll, the Gayest Pathfinder Podcast on the Planet, where we ask the hard questions like... does tapping the ribs of a Deathless Skeleton really play xylophone noises?

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