Divorce Dialogues

Divorce Dialogues

By Katherine MillerSociety & Culture
Download on the App Store

Divorce Dialogues episodes

  • What You Need to Know About Bankruptcy in Divorce With Dawn Kirby
    Many people are overburdened with expenses after divorce. So, what options do you have when the cost of living on your own becomes overwhelming and you get into financial trouble?
    Though it is a last resort, sometimes filing for bankruptcy is the best way to eliminate some of your debt and get back on your feet.
    So, how do divorce and bankruptcy law work together? What do you need to know about declaring bankruptcy in divorce?
    Dawn Kirby is the cofounder of Kirby Aisner & Curley LLP, a women-owned law firm that represents corporate and consumer debtors and creditors in bankruptcy and restructuring matters.
    Dawn has more than 25 years of experience as a bankruptcy attorney, and she cofounded the pro se bankruptcy clinic at Legal Services of the Hudson Valley, which provides bankruptcy counseling to individuals who fall below the Federal poverty line.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dawn joins Katherine to explain why divorce is among the most common causes of bankruptcy and when to file for chapter 7 versus chapter 13 bankruptcy.
    Dawn discusses why alimony and child support are not dischargeable in bankruptcy, sharing the case study of a client who fell behind on his domestic support obligations and used bankruptcy to get back on track.
    Listen in for Dawn’s insight on when it makes sense to declare bankruptcy and learn how the process can provide relief from the financial burdens associated with divorce.
    Topics Covered
    Why divorce is among the most common causes of bankruptcy
    How bankruptcy can provide relief from the financial burdens associated with divorce
    What differentiates chapter 7 bankruptcy from chapter 13 bankruptcy
    Why alimony and child support are not dischargeable in bankruptcy
    How bankruptcy law allows for a repayment plan if you fall behind on domestic support obligations
    Dawn’s insight around how bankruptcy and divorce law work together
    Dawn’s case study of a client who fell behind on his maintenance obligations and used bankruptcy to stop contempt proceedings and get back on track
    When it makes sense for a couple to file for bankruptcy BEFORE they get divorced
    How bankruptcy impacts a divorcing couple who owns property together
    Connect with Dawn Kirby
    Kirby Aisner & Curley LLP:
    https://kacllp.com/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    US Federal Bankruptcy Law:
    https://www.uscourts.gov/services-forms/bankruptcy/bankruptcy-basics
    26 min
  • Alternatives to the Dreaded Drama Triangle of Divorce With David Emerald Womeldorff
    If you’re going through a divorce, you’ve likely fallen into what David Emerald Womeldorff calls the Dreaded Drama Triangle or DDT.
    But this framework keeps you and your ex focused on your problems rather than the outcomes you want.
    So, what is the antidote to the toxicity of DDT? How do you shift out of fear and reactivity into creativity and empowerment?
    David is the Creator-in-Chief of The Empowerment Dynamic and Cofounder of the Bainbridge Leadership Center. He is also the bestselling author many books, including The Power of TED: The Empowerment Dynamic.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, David joins Katherine to explain the concept of the Dreaded Drama Triangle, exploring how the traditional approach to divorce perpetuates the DDT.
    David describes why we fall into the roles of victim, persecutor or rescuer in divorce and challenges us to leverage The Empowerment Dynamic as an antidote to DDT.
    Listen in for David’s insight on applying TED to the circumstances of divorce and learn how to disrupt the pattern of DDT with or without your ex’s cooperation!
    Topics Covered
    The concept of the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) and how it works
    What differentiates victimhood from victimization
    How the traditional approach to divorce perpetuates the DDT
    Why we fall into our roles as victim, persecutor or rescuer in divorce
    How The Empowerment Dynamic (TED) serves as an antidote to the DDT
    The TED roles of creator, challenger and coach
    Why it’s challenging to shift our focus from problems to outcomes
    David’s insight on applying TED to the circumstances of divorce
    Disrupting the patten of DDT with or without your ex’s cooperation
    Connect with David Emerald Womeldorff
    Center for the Empowerment Dynamic:
    https://theempowermentdynamic.com/#updates
    The Empowerment Dynamic on Facebook:
    https://www.facebook.com/theempowermentdynamic
    David on LinkedIn:
    https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-emerald-womeldorff-bab4494/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    The Power of TED: The Empowerment Dynamic by David Emerald:
    https://www.amazon.com/POWER-TED-EMPOWERMENT-DYNAMIC-Anniversary/dp/0996871802
    The Karpman Drama Triangle:
    https://karpmandramatriangle.com/
    Karen Horney’s Interpersonal Theory of Adjustment:
    https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34748442/
    Oprah Interview with Adele:
    https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=432173685235996
    26 min
  • Raising Children After Divorce With Christina McGhee
    Divorce leaves us overwhelmed and vulnerable, compromising our ability to parent well.
    And despite our best intentions, we may inadvertently dismiss our kids’ feelings or put them in an uncomfortable position.
    So, what can we do to gain a better understanding of what our children are going through during a divorce? How can we learn to coparent in a way that puts kids first?
    Christina McGhee is the divorce-parenting expert behind Divorce and Children and author of the highly acclaimed book, Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids.
    Christina is also the creator of the Co-Parenting Specialist Certification Training for divorce professionals and consulting producer of the films SPLIT: The Early Years and SPLIT UP: The Teen Years.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Christina joins Katherine to explain why it’s crucial to create space for kids to talk about their experience of divorce and how to own it when you make a parenting mistake.
    Christina describes how children of divorce often feel the need to caretake their parents and struggle to recognize their own needs as they become young adults.
    Listen in for Christina’s advice on validating the way kids feel (without stepping in to fix the problem first) and learn how to choose professionals who take a child-centered approach to divorce.
    Topics Covered
    How Christina’s parents’ divorce informs her work as a divorce-parenting expert
    Why Christina credits her ‘bonus kids’ as her best teachers on parenting children of divorce
    Why it’s crucial to create space for kids to talk about their experience of divorce
    The challenge of owning it when you make a mistake with your kids (and why it’s so important)
    The premise behind the films SPLIT: The Early Years and SPLIT UP: The Teen Years
    How children of divorce often feel the need to caretake their parents and struggle with recognizing their own needs as they become young adults
    How parents can be the best possible resource for kids who are navigating divorce
    What it looks like to validate the way children of divorce feel without stepping in to fix the problem
    Christina’s Co-Parenting Specialist Certification Training for divorce professionals
    How to choose a divorce professional who takes a child-centered approach
    Connect with Christina McGhee
    Divorce and Children:
    https://divorceandchildren.com/
    Christina on Instagram:
    https://www.instagram.com/divorceandchildren/
    Christina on Facebook:
    https://www.facebook.com/divorceandchildren
    Christina on LinkedIn:
    https://www.linkedin.com/in/christinamcghee/en
    Split Film:
    https://www.splitfilm.org/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    Parenting Apart: How Separated and Divorced Parents Can Raise Happy and Secure Kids by Christina McGhee:
    https://divorceandchildren.com/christinas-book-parenting-apart/
    Christina’s Co-Parenting Specialist Certification Training:
    https://divorceandchildren.com/co-parenting-specialist-training/
    Ellen Bruno on Divorce Dialogues EP190:
    https://divorcedialogues.miller-law.com/healing-conversations-with-children-of-divorce-with-ellen-bruno
    Ellen Bruno on Divorce Dialogues EP045:
    https://divorcedialogues.miller-law.com/empowering-kids-to-share-their-experience-with-divorce/
    25 min
  • Holding Onto Your Joy Through a Divorce With Connie Monroe
    When you’re going through a divorce, it’s easy to lose your joy. You feel like you have every right to be down in the dumps.
    This was certainly true for Connie Monroe, who threw herself a pity party with wine and cigarettes every night after work during her divorce.
    But when she found out that her cousin had been diagnosed with cancer and the prognosis was not good, Connie had an AHA moment.
    She realized that divorce was not going to kill her, and it was an insult to her cousin to wallow. She recognized that joy was a choice.
    And in 2008, Connie left her corporate finance career to build Monroe Coaching, a transformational coaching practice that helps women navigate fertility issues and divorce.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Connie joins Katherine to discuss her book, Holding Onto Joy Through Abandonment and Divorce.
    Connie shares the story of her own infertility issues, her husband’s infidelity and their attempt to reconcile that ended in divorce.
    Listen in for Connie’s advice on being completely honest with yourself about your marriage and learn how to avoid bickering over the small stuff and choose joy during a divorce.
    Topics Covered
    What it means to ‘hold onto joy’ through a divorce
    How each of the 12 chapters in Connie’s book offers a strategy for holding onto joy
    The AHA moment Connie realized divorce was not going to kill her
    How to set an intention each morning to avoid bickering over the small stuff in divorce
    The story of Connie’s infertility issues, her husband’s infidelity and their attempt to reconcile
    How Connie decided to pursue divorce once she uncovered her ex-husband’s double life
    Connie’s advice around being completely honest with yourself about your marriage
    How the skills Connie learned working in corporate finance inform her work as a divorce coach
    The mistakes Connie made with finances in her marriage (despite working in the space)
    Connie’s top advice for listeners considering divorce
    Connect with Connie Monroe
    Monroe Coaching:
    https://monroecoaching.com/
    Connie on Instagram:
    https://www.instagram.com/constancejmonroe/
    20/20 Retreats on Facebook:
    http://bit.ly/3l1HL0h
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    Holding Onto Joy Through Abandonment and Divorce by Constance J. Monroe:
    https://www.amazon.com/Holding-onto-Through-Abandonment-Divorce/dp/1734284315
    26 min
  • A Superwoman’s Approach to Recovering After Divorce With Eykiena ‘Keena’ Crowley
    Divorce means accepting that things didn’t go as planned and adjusting to major changes in your life. It’s about taking on challenges you’re not prepared for at a time when your confidence is shot.
    When Eykiena ‘Keena’ Crowley got divorced, she struggled with all of these issues too. But her background as a combat veteran in the US Army meant that she had practice adjusting to unanticipated change.
    And she leveraged that military mindset to navigate her divorce. For Keena, giving up was not an option.
    Today, Keena is Founder and CEO of My Thriving Life Academy, a company that empowers people to identify their inner gifts and elevate to their pinnacle in life.
    Keena is also a divorce recovery coach, international speaker and author of A Superwoman’s Guide to Recovering After Divorce.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Keena joins Katherine to explain how the army prepared her for divorce and share her superwoman’s approach to recovering from the breakup of a marriage.
    Keena walks us through the five major shifts women experience after divorce, discussing how to reinvent yourself, foster a growth mindset, and focus on the journey ahead.
    Listen in for Keena’s insight on finding gratitude (even when things seem dark) and learn how to align yourself with the support you need to adapt to the circumstances and stay positive through divorce.
    Topics Covered
    The skills Keena learned in the US Army that prepared her for divorce
    How Keena describes her superwoman’s approach to recovering after divorce
    5 major shifts women experience after divorce
    1. Identity
    2. Financial
    3. Social
    4. Perspective
    5. Mindset
    Keena’s advice on adjusting to the changes associated with divorce
    Why Keena suggests intentionally aligning yourself with support
    How to practice positive mindset by acknowledging your wins every day
    Keena’s insight on finding gratitude when things seem really dark
    Connect with Eykiena ‘Keena’ Crowley
    My Thriving Life Academy:
    https://www.mythrivinglifeacademy.com/
    Keena Speaks:
    https://www.keenaspeaks.com/
    Keena on Facebook:
    https://www.facebook.com/coachingwithkeena/
    Keena on LinkedIn:
    https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachingwithkeena
    Keena on Instagram:
    https://www.instagram.com/coachingwithkeena/
    Book a Free Call with Keena:
    https://calendly.com/eykiena
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    A Superwoman’s Guide to Recovering After Divorce by Keena Crowley:
    https://www.mythrivinglifeacademy.com/book
    Keena’s Free Gift:
    http://keenafreegift.com/
    27 min
  • A Balanced Approach to Processing Grief With Krista St. Germain
    Most of us are familiar with the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
    But what if your experience doesn’t follow this linear pattern?
    Whether you’re grieving the loss of a loved one or navigating a divorce, you need tools to move through the trauma of loss and get to life on the other side.
    Krista St. Germain is a Master Certified Life Coach, post-traumatic growth and grief expert, and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast.
    When her husband was killed by a drunk driver in 2016, Krista's life was unexpectedly flipped upside down. Therapy helped her learn the tools she needed to move forward and build a future she could get excited about.
    And now, she coaches other people through their grief and helps them love life again, too.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Krista joins Katherine to explain why the pop culture theory of grief doesn’t describe everyone’s experience, challenging us to reframe our emotions not as problems to be solved but a valuable part of being human.
    Krista offers advice on taking care of yourself after a divorce, describing the dual process theory of grief’s balanced approach to healing.
    Listen in for insight on leveraging post-traumatic growth to change your life after a loss and learn Krista’s strategies for creating calm through the stress of divorce.
    Topics Covered
    How her husband’s death led Krista to a career in life coaching
    The similarities between becoming a widow and getting divorced
    Why the 5 stages of grief doesn’t describe everyone’s experience
    Krista’s tips for taking care of yourself after a divorce
    Why Krista likes the dual process theory of grief’s approach to healing
    Tools for creating calm when you’re feeling anxious or stressed
    The concept of disenfranchised grief and why it can be so isolating
    How Krista helps people embrace post-traumatic growth
    Making conscious decisions re: the direction of your life post-divorce
    Connect with Krista St. Germain
    Coaching with Krista:
    https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/
    Krista on Instagram:
    https://www.instagram.com/lifecoachkrista/
    Krista on Facebook:
    https://m.facebook.com/coachingwithkrista/
    The Widowed Mom Podcast:
    https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/podcast/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    The Five Stages of Grief:
    https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/
    26 min
  • Coping with Divorce from a Covert Narcissist With Debbie Mirza
    Most people think of narcissists as obnoxious and self-absorbed. They’re flashy, loud and charismatic. And it’s obvious that they’re looking out for #1.
    But a covert narcissist is much harder to identify.
    They are generally well-liked and well-respected by others. And the way they manipulate their partner is much more subtle and difficult to recognize.
    So, how do you know if you’re in a relationship with a covert narcissist? Is there anything you can do to make the divorce process more manageable?
    Debbie Mirza is a speaker, singer/songwriter and restorative coach with expertise in helping people heal from covert narcissistic abuse.
    Debbie is also the bestselling author of The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse, Worthy of Love: A Gentle and Restorative Path to Healing After Narcissistic Abuse and The Safest Place Possible: A Guide to Healing and Transformation.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Debbie joins Katherine to discuss what differentiates an overt narcissist from a covert one, explaining why it’s challenging to recognize a lack of empathy in your marriage to a covert narcissist.
    Debbie walks us through the three phases of a relationship with a covert narcissist, describing how a covert narcissist cuts off their partner during the discard phase and makes divorce particularly brutal.
    Listen in for Debbie’s insight on choosing an attorney who understands narcissism and learn how to protect yourself and your children through divorce from a covert narcissist.
    Topics Covered
    What it means to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder
    What differentiates an overt narcissist from a covert narcissist
    Why it’s challenging to recognize a lack of empathy in a covert narcissist
    Debbie’s advice for someone divorcing a covert narcissist
    The type of person a covert narcissist targets for a relationship
    How a covert narcissist’s words and actions don’t match
    How a covert narcissist uses their partner as an energy supply
    The 3 phases of a relationship with a covert narcissist
    1. Love bombing
    2. Demeaning and devaluing
    3. Discard
    What to look for in an attorney when divorcing a covert narcissist
    Protecting yourself and your children in divorce from a covert narcissist
    Connect with Debbie Mirza
    Debbie’s Website:
    https://www.debbiemirza.com/
    Debbie on Twitter:
    https://twitter.com/debmirza
    Debbie on Facebook:
    https://www.facebook.com/debbiemirzacoaching
    Debbie on Instagram:
    https://www.instagram.com/debbiemirza_author/
    Debbie on YouTube:
    https://www.youtube.com/@debbiemirza1744
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    DSM-5 Criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
    https://www.mind-diagnostics.org/blog/narcissistic-personality/narcissistic-personality-disorder-dsm-5-criteria-and-treatment-option
    The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse by Debbie Mirza:
    https://www.amazon.com/Covert-Passive-Aggressive-Narcissist-Recognizing-Psychological/dp/099862134X/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
    Worthy of Love: A Gentle and Restorative Path to Healing After Narcissistic Abuse by Debbie Mirza:
    https://www.amazon.com/Worthy-Love-Restorative-Narcissistic-Narcissism/dp/0998621382/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1637933306&sr=8-1
    The Safest Place Possible: A Guide to Healing and Transformation by Debbie Mirza:
    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0998621307/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i1
    26 min
  • The 4 Ingredients of a Heart-Healthy Divorce With Judith Weigle
    After 10 years of working in the divorce business, Judith Weigle reflected on the couples who were able to communicate well and navigate the process with less stress.
    And she identified the elements of what she calls a Heart-Healthy Divorce.
    So, what steps can you take to make your divorce more amicable and less acrimonious?
    Judith is Founder of Divorce Resource, Inc., a firm that provides both mediation and filing services for divorces, legal separations, paternity cases, and post-judgment revisions of settlement agreements.
    She has 12 years of experience as a mediator and 10 years in private practice family law. Judith also serves as host of The Amicable Divorce Expert Podcast.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Judith joins Katherine to share the four ingredients of a Heart-Healthy Divorce, explaining how to settle the emotional divorce before you file for a legal one.
    Judith discusses how to compartmentalize your time, using work as a respite and scheduling specific times to address your divorce.
    Listen in for Judith’s insight on developing a self-care program that includes laughter and learn the communication skills for conflict that will help you sustain a Heart-Healthy Divorce!
    Topics Covered
    The 4 ingredients of what Judith calls a Heart-Healthy Divorce
    1. Settle the emotional divorce before filing for a legal divorce
    2. Learn how to compartmentalize your time
    3. Learn communication skills for conflict
    4. Develop a self-care program that includes laughter
    Engaging a therapist or divorce coach to work through the emotional aspects of divorce
    Why some attorneys take a scorched earth approach to divorce
    How to use work as a respite and schedule specific times to address your divorce
    The service Judith offers as a ‘paralegal on steroids’
    A mediator’s role in helping divorcing couples come to settlement decisions
    Getting educated on divorce law in your state as a first step in the divorce process
    Connect with Judith Weigle
    Divorce Resource, Inc.:
    https://divorceresourceinc.com/
    The Amicable Divorce Expert Podcast:
    https://theamicabledivorceexpert.com/
    The Amicable Divorce Expert on Instagram:
    https://www.instagram.com/theamicabledivorceexpert/
    Judith on Facebook:
    https://www.facebook.com/JudithMWeigle
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    Katherine on The Amicable Divorce Expert Podcast:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=VzS5wNj32uA
    Bill Eddy at the High Conflict Institute:
    https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/bill-eddy
    On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross:
    https://www.amazon.com/Death-Dying-Doctors-Nurses-Families/dp/1476775540
    27 min
  • How Unresolved Trauma Causes Communication Breakdown With Dr. Don Wood
    Communication breakdown in a marriage often leads to divorce.
    But the way your partner triggers your nervous system often has nothing to do with them and everything to do with trauma you’ve experienced in the past.
    So, what if you could change the way your mind accesses that trauma and stay present with your partner in those moments?
    Dr. Don Wood, PhD, is CEO of the Inspired Performance Institute and creator of the patented TIPP method for clearing the effects of traumatic events and rebooting the brain for peak performance.
    Dr. Wood is also the author of two bestselling books, Emotional Concussions and You Must Be Out of Your Mind.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Wood joins Katherine to explain how communication breaks down when the mind perceives a threat and describe how his TIPP method neutralizes our fight-or-flight response.
    Dr. Wood walks us through his memory reset process, weighing in on how unresolved trauma adversely effects our physical and mental health.
    Listen in to understand how trauma interferes with our ability to perform at the highest level and learn how to interrupt the trauma loop that threatens your marriage!
    Topics Covered
    The communication breakdown in Dr. Wood’s marriage that inspired his work
    How communication breaks down when our mind perceives a threat and activates our nervous system
    Why it’s challenging for couples who’ve both experienced trauma to communicate effectively
    How the TIPP method works to reset the way our mind accesses trauma
    What Dr. Wood’s 4-hour memory reset process looks like
    How unresolved trauma impacts our physical and mental health
    How the excess cortisol associated with trauma leads to weight gain
    Why Dr. Wood suggests that both people in a marriage clear their trauma
    How trauma interferes with our ability to perform at the highest level
    Examples of professional athletes Dr. Wood has helped improve their performance
    Connect with Dr. Don Wood
    Inspired Performance Institute:
    https://www.inspiredperformanceinstitute.com/
    Inspired Performance on Facebook:
    https://www.facebook.com/inspiredperformanceinstitute
    Inspired Performance on YouTube:
    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTKWCHeUmPZSqkvuRTblajA
    Dr. Wood on LinkedIn:
    https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-don-wood-phd-a71b8412/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    Books by Dr. Don Wood:
    https://www.inspiredperformanceinstitute.com/books
    Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman:
    https://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Fast-Slow-Daniel-Kahneman/dp/0374533555
    Adverse Childhood Experiences Study:
    https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/about.html
    27 min
  • Are You a Trustworthy Partner? Are You Sure? With Matthew Fray
    Matthew Fray considered himself a good guy. He didn’t lie. He didn’t cheat. He wasn’t violent.
    But his wife didn’t trust him, and the marriage ended in 2013.
    What subtle cues did Matthew miss? What led his ex to believe she couldn’t count on him?
    Today, Matthew is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did.
    His work has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal and The Atlantic, among many other media outlets.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Matthew joins Katherine to discuss his book, This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships.
    Matthew shares the mistakes he made in his own marriage, explaining why conversations broke down any time he disagreed with his ex’s thoughts or feelings.
    Listen in for insight on what it means to be trustworthy in a relationship and learn how to honor your partner’s experience when they ask for help or tell you something’s wrong.
    Topics Covered
    How journaling to understand his divorce led Matthew to write This Is How Your Marriage Ends
    Why conversations broke down any time Matthew’s disagreed with his ex-wife’s thoughts or feelings
    Why it’s crucial to allow your partner the dignity to have their own perspective
    How Matthew’s definition of ‘trustworthy’ includes being there when your partner needs you
    Why relationships are not sustainable in the absence of trust
    How honoring his ex-wife’s experience makes Matthew a more effective coparent
    How Matthew made himself the victim every time his ex asked for help or said something was wrong
    How failing to consider how your partner experiences you demonstrates a lack of respect
    Connect with Matthew Fray
    Matthew’s Website:
    https://matthewfray.com/
    Matthew on Twitter:
    https://twitter.com/mbtttr
    Matthew on Facebook:
    https://www.facebook.com/matthewfrayMBTTTR/
    Matthew on Instagram:
    https://www.instagram.com/frayrelationships/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships by Matthew Fray:
    https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Marriage-Ends-Relationships-ebook/dp/B097RPC1SD
    ‘The Man Who Coaches Husbands on How to Avoid Divorce’ in The New York Times:
    https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/18/parenting/marriage-invisible-labor-coach.html
    ‘She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes by the Sink’ on Matthew’s Blog:
    https://matthewfray.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/
    26 min

About Divorce Dialogues

From the publisher's feed

Divorce Dialogues helps people navigate divorce with dignity, clarity, and perspective. Through thoughtful conversations with experts and practitioners, the show explores the emotional, financial, legal, and relational realities of divorce, so listeners can make better decisions, communicate more effectively, and move forward with greater confidence.