Our cultural vision of divorce court is very different from reality. We fantasize about justice and imagine that the judge will take our side. But the truth of the matter is that most cases settle, and in those that do make it to trial, the judgement has little to do with who is morally right. So, if trial decisions are an urban myth, what does divorce really look like?

Jacqueline Newman is a matrimonial law expert and divorce attorney based in New York City. As the managing partner of Berkman Bottger Newman & Rodd, a top-tier Manhattan firm, her practice consists of litigation, collaborative law and mediation. Jacqueline provides expert legal commentary for national media outlets, including ABC, NBC and FOX, and her work has appeared in numerous publications such as US News & World Report, Business Insider and The Huffington Post. Jacqueline is the author of Soon-to-Be Ex and Soon-to-Be Ex for Men, and she has been named one of Thompson Reuters New York-Metro Super Lawyers Top 50 Women Attorneys for five years running.

Today, Jacqueline joins Katherine to explain why she always wanted to be a divorce lawyer and how the realities of the profession differed from her expectations. She discusses her motivation for writing Soon-to-Be Ex and Soon-to-Be Ex for Men, sharing some of the practical advice she includes in those resources. Jacqueline and Katherine speak to their work with couples considering divorce, the long-term impact of the decision to divorce and the divorce lawyer’s role in providing an objective point of view. Listen in for Jacqueline’s insight on the urban myth of trial decisions and learn how a good divorce attorney can support you in making informed choices.

Topics Covered

Why Jacqueline always wanted to be a divorce lawyer

How the realities of divorce law differ from expectations

Jacqueline’s insight on the urban myth of trial decisions

The very small number of couples who don’t settle

What inspired Jacqueline to write Soon-to-Be Ex

The practical advice included in Jacqueline’s books

The value in meeting with a divorce lawyer for a consult

How divorce impacts every aspect of your life

The challenge to think long-term when emotions are high

Jacqueline’s role in providing an objective point of view

Jacqueline’s experience managing a divorce law firm

Jacqueline’s take on the attributes of a ‘good client’

Connect with Jacqueline Newman

Berkman Botter Newman & Rodd: https://www.berkbot.com/

Jacqueline’s Website: https://nycdivorcelawyer.com/

Resources

Soon-to-Be Ex: A Woman’s Guide to Her Perfect Divorce and Relaunch by Jacqueline Newman: https://www.amazon.com/Soon-Be-Ex-Perfect-Relaunch/dp/1945271841

Soon-to-Be Ex for Men: Preserving Wealth, Fatherhood, and Sanity during Divorce by Jacqueline Newman: https://www.amazon.com/Soon-Be-Men-Preserving-Fatherhood/dp/194527185X

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/

Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/

Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246

Email: [email protected]

Call (914) 738-7765

Divorce is a heart-wrenching process, but it is also an opportunity. Healing from the heartbreak affords you a new beginning, a chance to reconnect with who you are and what’s important to you.

Sara Woodard is the architect of The HeartFull Journey, a platform designed to help you reconnect with yourself in the aftermath of divorce. Sara has compiled the tools and resources she created during her own divorce journey, and her blog, online course and workbooks serve to support others in regaining their confidence and remembering that they are worthy of love.

Today, Sara joins Katherine to share the tools she developed to work through her divorce, explaining the ‘heart-full journey’ she took to reconnect with herself. She describes the value in developing scripted responses to bad advice, sharing the language she used to take her power back. Sara and Katherine discuss the challenge of trusting your gut after a divorce and the importance of reconnecting to your inner voice in the context of dating. Listen in for Sara’s insight on how social media contributes to feelings of unworthiness and learn how to reframe negative self-talk as you heal from divorce!

Topics Covered

The tools Sara developed to work through her divorce

How Sara responded to bad advice during her divorce

The value in developing scripted responses or language

How the ‘heart-full journey’ reconnects you to yourself

Sara’s advice on trusting your gut in dating after divorce

How to reconnect to your inner voice through silence

Sara’s insight around what makes divorce so prevalent

Why it’s easy to lose track of your core values in divorce

How social media contributes to feelings of unworthiness

Sara’s guidance people in the beginning stages of divorce

• Be gentle with yourself

• Reframe negative self-talk

• Get out of head, get active

Connect with Sara Woodard

The HeartFull Journey: https://www.theheartfulljourney.com/

The HeartFull Journey on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theheartfulljourney/

Sara on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHeartFull

Sara on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theheartfulljourneydivorce/?hl=en

Resources

‘5 Things to Pack for Your Divorce Journey’ by Sara Woodard: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/5-things-to-pack-for-your-divorce-journey_n_57e1fba0e4b05d3737be50d5

The HeartFull Separation Workbook by Sara Woodard: https://www.theheartfulljourney.com/separation-workbook

Sara’s Love Yourself Through Divorce Course: https://www.theheartfulljourney.com/love-yourself-through-divorce

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/

Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/

Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246

Email: [email protected]

Call (914) 738-7765

The heightened emotions that come with divorce often lead to impulsive action. The brain shuts down and couples jump into litigation without considering the consequences—or the alternatives. But the court system takes their power away and hands all of the decisions over to a judge, and at the end of the day, everybody loses. How can we reestablish communication between these couples, empowering them to make decisions on their own?

Linda Schoonover Carley is a former family, dependency and juvenile judge with more than thirty years of experience as a judge, attorney and mediator. She is also the author of Divorce Made Simple, a no-nonsense guide that demonstrates her practical, holistic approach to avoiding the chaos of the court system. An Amazon Best Selling author and award-winning speaker, Linda uses storytelling to illustrate her passion for children and justice.

Today, Linda joins Katherine to discuss how couples make impulsive decisions around divorce without a clear understanding of the consequences. She explains the danger in shutting down communication and offers her approach to teaching couples to communicate again. Linda speaks to the mediation process, describing how it empowers people to make decisions themselves and how to prepare for the mediation process. Listen in to understand why litigation makes couples lose sight of what’s important and learn to leverage alternatives like mediation and collaborative divorce.

Topics Covered

How couples make impulsive decisions around divorce based on emotion

The natural instinct to shut down communication in the divorce process

How shutting down communication escalates turmoil for the children

Linda’s approach to teaching couples to communicate again

Why couples lose sight of what’s important during the litigation process

How mediation starts with the practice of finding agreement

How the parents’ relationship impacts a child’s idea of conflict resolution

How mediation empowers people to make decisions themselves

How to prepare for the mediation process

Issues had during marriage will show up in mediation

Make list of issues, rank in order of importance

Come in with an understanding of financial needs

How children can serve as an anchor for the mediation process

The fundamentals of time sharing or shared parental responsibility

The difference between child support and alimony

Connect with Linda Schoonover Carley

Linda’s Website:http://lindaschoonover.com/

Divorce Made Simple: https://divorcemadesimple.com/

Divorce Made Simple on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/divorcemadesimple

Resources

Divorce Made Simple: The Ultimate Guide by a Former Family Judge by Linda D. Schoonover: https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Made-Simple-Ultimate-Former-ebook/dp/B071NZBYZG

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/

Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/

Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246

Email: [email protected]

Call (914) 738-7765

Holding on to bitterness and resentment is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.

It is so much easier to blame someone who has caused you pain than it is to own your part in it and develop compassion for the hurt they are feeling—particularly in the case of divorce. But if you have the courage to open yourself up to another person’s pain, it is possible to heal and grow in your capacity for empathy and understanding.

Neelama Eyres and Michael Schiesser are the co-founders of the Inner Journey Institute. Since 1999, the pair has facilitated the personal, professional and spiritual transformation of thousands of people. Michael and Neelama were married in 2002 and their son, Kai, was born in 2004. But in 2006, their marriage came to an abrupt end, and they began a transformational journey of their own. After an intense two-year process, Neelama and Michael established a loving friendship and a dedication to co-parenting their son. That journey became the blueprint for their Healing Divorce Intensive as well as the memoir, Divorced with Love.

Today, Michael and Neelama join Katherine to share their story, discussing the healing work they did in the aftermath of their divorce for the sake of their son, their business and their friendship. Michael explains how blame prevented him from owning his part in the breakup, and Neelama describes how guilt provided a barrier of protection that kept her from recognizing Michael’s pain. They walk us through the process that allowed them to stop ‘poisoning their own hearts’ and grow in their capacity for compassion. Listen in to understand the value in recognizing that our experience of reality is subjective and learn Neelama and Michael’s approach to healing through self-awareness and empathy.

Topics Covered

The healing work Michael and Neelama did in the aftermath of their divorce

Neelama and Michael’s commitment to personal growth and transformation

How blame prevented Michael from owning his part in the breakup

Neelama’s insight on how her guilt created a barrier of protection

The freedom that comes from realizing you can’t change what the other person did

The process that allowed Michael and Neelama to stop ‘poisoning their own hearts’

How writing Divorced with Love brought Neelama and Michael to a new level of healing

How science confirms that our individual experience of reality is subjective

The way your heart grows in its capacity for empathy by way of conflict

Michael and Neelama’s approach to healing

• Learn to be present to own feelings

• Step into other person’s shoes

Connect with Neelama Eyres & Michael Schiesser

Inner Journey Institute: http://www.innerjourneyinstitute.com/

Resources

Divorced with Love: Our Journey Through Heartbreak and Separation into Forgiveness and Friendship by Michael Schiesser and Neelama Eyres: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0776YNNFC

The Healing Heart Protocol: http://www.innerjourneyinstitute.com/healing-heart-protocol/

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/

Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/

Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246

Email: [email protected]

Call (914) 738-7765

If you’re reading this, you are likely familiar with the first stage of the divorce process, the stage Liza Caldwell identifies as Something is Wrong. The problem with stage one is that you can get stuck there, lost in a vicious cycle with your own thoughts. How do you move forward? Where can you go for support in taking action? And what resources are available to help you reinvent yourself once the divorce is final?

Liza Caldwell is the co-founder and director of SAS for Women: Support and Solutions for Thriving Beyond Divorce, an organization that provides resources and coaching for women who are considering, in the process of, or recovering from divorce. Liza earned her MA in gender and leadership development from Columbia University’s Teachers College, and she is a certified professional coach trained through Leadership That Works.

Today, Liza joins Katherine to explain how she came to co-found SAS for Women. She shares the four-stage divorce roadmap that SAS uses to help women manage their expectations and navigate each phase of the journey. Liza and Katherine discuss what makes a good candidate for collaborative divorce and how the model you choose directly impacts the children involved. Listen in to understand the ongoing process of reinvention that occurs after the papers are signed and learn how SAS can support you in achieving a new normal in the aftermath of divorce.

Topics Covered

How SAS provides support and solutions for women in any stage of divorce

The SAS for Women four-stage divorce roadmap

Something is wrong

Something’s got to change

Something is changing

The new normal

How women in stage one are caught in a vicious cycle

The trigger in stage one that compels women to take action

The importance of connecting with seasoned experts during stage two

What makes a good candidate for the collaborative divorce process

How the model you choose for divorce directly impacts your children

The value in working with a coach to get an overview of available options

The discovery process and reinvention involved in stage three

How stage four brings you to the peaceful rhythm of a new normal

Connect with Liza Caldwell

SAS For Women: https://sasforwomen.com/

SAS on Twitter: https://twitter.com/sasforwomen

SAS on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sasforwomen/

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/

Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/

Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246

Email: [email protected]

Call (914) 738-7765

If you divorced someone with a high-conflict personality, you may be concerned about repeating the same cycle in your next partnership. What steps can you take to reflect on the dynamics of your relationships and develop radar for people with high-conflict personalities?

An international expert on managing disputes involving high-conflict personalities, Bill Eddy is the co-founder and Training Director of the High Conflict Institute. In addition, he is a Certified Family Law Specialist and Senior Family Mediator with the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego. Bill has written several books, including Dating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to ‘The One’ Who Will Make Your Life Hell and 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities.

Today, Bill joins Katherine to share the four warning signs for people with high-conflict personalities. He explains how high-conflict people can jam your radar with fake compatibility and how to leverage your friends and family for insight. He addresses why you should finish grieving the loss of a previous relationship before committing to new one, describing the danger in using a relationship to feel okay about yourself. Listen in to understand why people commit to relationships with high-conflict personalities despite the red flags, how to identify behaviors exhibited by high-conflict people, and how to manage high-conflict personalities if you can’t avoid them entirely.

Topics Covered

The four warning signs for people with high-conflict personalities

All-or-nothing thinking

Unmanaged emotion

Extreme behavior

Preoccupation with blaming others

How high-conflict people can jam your radar with fake compatibility

The value in asking friends and family for their insight on your partner

Why you must finish grieving a loss before committing to a new relationship

Why Bill recommends waiting at least a year before committing to marriage

The reasons why people commit to relationships despite red flags

The five types of high-conflict people who can ruin your life

Narcissists, sociopaths, borderline, histrionic and paranoid

The extreme behaviors exhibited by people with high-conflict personalities

How to manage high-conflict people if you can’t avoid them altogether

Connect with Bill Eddy

High Conflict Institute: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/

National Conflict Resolution Center: https://www.ncrconline.com/

Resources

Dating Radar: Why Your Brain Says Yes to ‘The One’ Who Will Make Your Life Hell by Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/bookstores/dating-radar

5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities by Bill Eddy: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/bookstores/5-types-of-people-who-can-ruin-your-life

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/

Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/

Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246

Email: [email protected]

Call (914) 738-7765

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller

Email [email protected]

Call (914) 738-7765

If you are the targeted parent in a case of parental alienation, it is easy to default to defensiveness. But responding with righteous indignation is actually counterproductive, making you look anxious, agitated and afraid. So, how can you approach the situation in a constructive way that won’t further alienate your child—or the custody evaluator assigned to your case?

Dr. Amy J. L. Baker is a nationally recognized expert in parental alienation and the emotional abuse of children. She has written more than 115 publications including eight books on the topic of parent-child relationships, children of divorce and parental alienation syndrome. Dr. Baker serves as an expert witness and coaches parents dealing with alienated children and alienating co-parents. She is also the Director of Research at the Vincent J. Fontana Center for Child Protection. Dr. Baker holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology from Teachers College of Columbia University.

Today, Dr. Baker joins Katherine to discuss the ins and outs of parental alienation. She walks us through the four components that must be present for a situation to qualify as parental alienation and several of the behaviors kids exhibit in a ‘campaign of denigration.’ Dr. Baker shares her approach to addressing false accusations if you are the target of parental alienation, describing the value in approaching kids with compassion and empathy. Listen in for Dr. Baker’s advice on exhibiting humility with a custody evaluator and learn what to do if you’re the victim of parental alienation.

Topics Covered

The formal definition of parental alienation

The four components necessary to qualify as parental alienation

Prior positive relationship

Absence of abuse, neglect

Favored parent exhibits alienating behaviors

Kids exhibit behaviors unique to alienation

The characteristics of a ‘campaign of denigration’

How to approach a child making false accusations

Gratitude, compassion and empathy

Correct the lie and go back to compassion

How to gauge the intentionality of the favored parent’s behavior

What to do if you are the victim of parental alienation

The value in presenting yourself with humility to a custody evaluator

The need for training for legal professionals around parental alienation

The tendency for judges to support the status quo

Connect with Dr. Amy J. L. Baker

Dr. Baker’s Website: http://amyjlbaker.com

Resources

Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex: What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You by Amy J. L. Baker and Paul R. Fine: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1608829588/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=sl1&tag=msccomputersy-20&linkId=d6b93910214fbeb440532f6f3bb0061c

The High-Conflict Custody Battle: Protect Yourself and Your Kids from a Toxic Divorce, False Accusations & Parental Alienation by Amy J. L. Baker, J. Michael Bone and Brian Ludmer: https://www.amazon.com/High-Conflict-Custody-Battle-Accusations-Alienation/dp/1626250731

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/

Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/

Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246

Email: [email protected]

Call (914) 738-7765

How do you approach challenging situations? The coaching model popular in the business world takes a strengths-based approach, leveraging what employees are good at to tackle complex problems. What if we used a similar strategy as parents, leading with our strengths in difficult circumstances? What if we approached the divorce process the same way, tapping into our best attributes first as we work toward resolution?

Gloria DeGaetano is the founder and CEO of the Parent Coaching Institute and Parent Coach International. An acclaimed educator, author and speaker, she originated parent coaching as a discipline 18 years ago. Today, the PCI Coaching Model and its affiliated certification program are used in 20 countries around the world. Gloria’s innovative work in parent coaching has appeared in Newsweek, Parents Magazine and The New York Times, among many other publications, and she has appeared on The Today Show and NPR’s Fresh Air.

On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Gloria joins Katherine to explain how she adapted business coaching principles to support parents, using a strengths-based approach that is personalized to the family’s individual circumstances. She discusses how her personal experience with divorce informs her work and describes how the appreciative inquiry framework facilitates teamwork between divorced couples. Listen in for Gloria’s insight around identifying your positive core and designing strategy based on your strengths!

Topics Covered

The concept of parent coaching as a strengths-based approach

How Gloria adapted business coaching principles to support parents

How Gloria’s personal experience with divorce influences her work

How parent coaching is personalized to the unique needs of the family

How an introduction to systems thinking inspired Gloria’s work

How the parenting styles inventory serves divorced couples

The framework of appreciative inquiry Gloria uses in parent coaching

Why it’s important to design strategy based on your strengths

How starting with what you’re good at generates an upward spiral

The benefit of reframing right and wrong as a difference in style

Gloria’s definition of positive core as a person’s authentic self

How individuals can use parent coaching with or without their ex

How Gloria processed her own feelings of anger through therapy

Gloria’s insight around taking care of yourself first

Connect with Gloria DeGaetano

The Parent Coaching Institute: www.thepci.org

Parent Coach International: parentcoachinternational.com

Resources

The Creative Imperative by Charles M. Johnston: amazon.com/Creative-Imperative-Charles-M-Johnston/dp/0974715409

Parenting Well in a Media Age by Gloria DeGaetano: amazon.com/Parenting-Well-Media-Age-Keeping/dp/1932181121

Cooperrider Center for Appreciative Inquiry: champlain.edu/appreciativeinquiry

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/

Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/

Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246

Email: [email protected]

Call (914) 738-7765

Divorce is a painful process that comes with some very strong emotions. Yet in order to avoid a toxic situation that puts your kids in the middle, divorcing couples must find safe spaces to express their anger and grief. Susan Bernardo found healing in writing workshops, art and dance classes, using creativity to work through the sadness, pick up the pieces and build something new.

In fact, Susan’s experience with divorce inspired her first picture book, Sun Kisses, Moon Hugs, which reassures kids that love is forever, even if you are physically separated from the ones you love. Her sophomore effort was a collaboration with LeVar Burton to help kids cope with traumatic events, The Rhino Who Swallowed a Storm. Since then, she has published a third picture book, The Big Adventures of Tiny House, and her debut YA novel, Inspired.

Today, Susan sits down with Katherine to explain how creative channels allowed her to process the grief she was feeling and how she went about reestablishing her identity as an individual in the aftermath of divorce. She discusses her conscious decision to divorce amicably, explaining how a mediator can help couples craft a shared mission statement that focuses on the children. Susan also addresses her shared custody arrangement with her ex-husband and offers insight around the concept of home as a feeling you carry. Listen in to understand how Susan leaned on allies and mentors to maintain her dignity through the process—and learn how to reframe divorce as an opportunity for discovery.

Topics Covered

How Susan’s divorce experience inspired Sun Kisses, Moon Hugs

The grief Susan experienced in being away from her kids

How Susan used creativity to process her strong feelings

The process of reestablishing your identity after divorce

Susan’s conscious decision to pursue an amicable divorce

The value in crafting a shared mission statement

The safe places where Susan was able to express her emotions

Susan and her ex-husband’s shared custody arrangement

Gaining a deeper appreciation of each other’s roles after divorce

Susan’s intention to model the resilience she wants for her kids

How allies and mentors gave Susan perspective during the process

How to reframe divorce as an opportunity for discovery

How Susan’s friendship base expanded in the aftermath of divorce

Susan’s insight on the concept of home as a feeling you carry

Connect with Susan Bernardo

Susan’s Website: susanbernardo.com/index.html

Inner Flower Child Books: innerflowerchild.com/index.html

Sun Kisses, Moon Hugs on Facebook: facebook.com/SunKissesMoonHugs/?ref=bookmarks

Susan on Twitter: twitter.com/SusanBernardo

Resources

Sun Kisses, Moon Hugs by Susan Schaefer Bernardo and Courtenay Fletcher: amazon.com/Kisses-Moon-Susan-Schaefer-Bernardo/dp/0971122849

The Rhino Who Swallowed a Storm by LeVar Burton, Susan Schaefer Bernardo and Courtenay Fletcher: amazon.com/Rhino-Who-Swallowed-Storm/dp/0990539504

The Big Adventures of Tiny House by Susan Schaefer Bernardo and Courtenay Fletcher: amazon.com/Big-Adventures-Tiny-House/dp/0971122822

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/

Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/

Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246

Email: [email protected]

Call (914) 738-7765

Is there a way to protect your child’s innocence during the divorce process? What strategies can you use to parent well in the midst of such a difficult time? The Intelligent Divorce offers couples an approach to separation and divorce that prevents damage to kids and teaches you how to create a bi-nuclear family built on kindness and respect.

Dr. Mark Banschick is a child psychiatrist in private practice in New York and a frequent expert witness in custody hearings. He coined the idea of the Intelligent Divorce and authored two books on the subject, The Intelligent Divorce: Taking Care of Children and The Intelligent Divorce: Taking Care of Yourself. Dr. Banschick has appeared on The CBS Early Show and the CBS Morning News, and he is published regularly in Psychology Today and the Huffington Post.

Today, Dr. Banschick joins Katherine to explain how the Intelligent Divorce prevents damage to kids during the divorce process. He offers his take on divorce as a public health issue rather than a legal one and discusses the significance of establishing what he calls an intergenerational boundary. Dr. Banschick walks us through The Child’s Bill of Rights, describing how the Intelligent Divorce protects their innocence and educates kids in the process of conflict resolution. Listen in for insight around the difference between jealousy and envy—and hear Dr. Banschick’s thoughts on when and how to tell your kids you are getting a divorce.

Topics Covered

How Dr. Banschick’s work led to the Intelligent Divorce

Dr. Banschick’s advice around working on your marriage first

The idea of a bi-nuclear family built on kindness and respect

Why Dr. Banschick sees divorce as a public health issue

How to protect your child’s innocence in the divorce process

The significance of establishing an intergenerational boundary

The Child’s Bill of Rights

• Don’t ask to choose sides or confide in me

• Spare details of legal proceedings

• Give privacy on phone, don’t cross-examine after

• I am not your messenger

• Don’t ask to lie and listen when I talk

• No guilt trips, no matter what

• Don’t spoil me (even if you feel guilty)

How people regress during the divorce process

How Intelligent Divorce educates kids in conflict resolution

Melanie Kline’s distinction between jealousy and envy

The benefits of working with a good psychotherapist

When and how to tell your kids that you are getting a divorce

Connect with Dr. Mark Banschick

The Intelligent Divorce: theintelligentdivorce.com

Free Book on Divorce: mark-banschick.mykajabi.com

Resources

Intelligent Divorce: Taking Care of Children by Mark R. Banschick and David Tabatsky: amazon.com/Intelligent-Divorce-Taking-Care-Children/dp/098259030X

Intelligent Divorce: Taking Care of Children by Mark R. Banschick and David Tabatsky: amazon.com/Intelligent-Divorce-Taking-Care-Yourself/dp/0982590326/ref=bseries_primary_1_0982590326

Family Stabilization Course: theintelligentdivorce.com

Melanie Klein: www.melanie-klein-trust.org.uk

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/

Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/

Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1

The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246

Email: [email protected]

Call (914) 738-7765