Divorce Dialogues

Divorce Dialogues

By Katherine MillerSociety & Culture
Download on the App Store

Divorce Dialogues episodes

  • Divorce & Your Finances in a COVID-19 Economy with Steve Kaplan
    The Coronavirus has us all concerned about both our physical and financial health. The economic impact of the pandemic has changed the value of everything overnight, making the process of dividing assets for a divorce settlement particularly challenging. So, what’s the best way to cope with the uncertainty? And what are our options if we need cash in hand right now?
    Steve Kaplan is the founder and owner of Steve Kaplan CPA, a practice focused on dispute resolution services out of White Plains, NY. He has 30-plus years of experience in public practice, developing an expertise in business valuation, financial analysis and settlement support. Steve is trained in Collaborative Divorce Practice and mediation, and he is often called upon to speak on a variety of tax, forensic accounting and matrimonial dissolution topics.
    On this special episode of Divorce Dialogues, Steve joins Katherine to offer advice on dealing with the current economic uncertainty, reminding us that portfolio values always come back after a downturn. He weighs in on how to think about the valuation of assets if you’re getting a divorce right now, explaining the benefits of choosing the collaborative process when it comes to real estate and business valuation. Listen in for Steve’s insight around the benefits available to those of us who need cashflow now and learn how to take advantage of the changes to the tax code initiated by COVID-19.
    Topics Covered
    Steve’s advice on dealing with the current economic uncertainty
    Portfolio values come back after downturn
    Value today less relevant than at exit
    Taking action now may compound problems
    The benefits available to those of us who need cash in hand now
    Increase in unemployment benefits
    Small business loans available at low interest rates (e.g.: PPP)
    Opportunity to borrow from retirement account
    $1200 checks issued automatically to most taxpayers
    How to think about real estate valuation if you’re dividing assets now
    Why business valuation is more challenging in the Coronavirus era
    The benefits of collaborative divorce in terms of business valuation
    Steve’s insight on the changes to the tax code initiated by COVID-19
    Penalty for borrowing from retirement account waved
    Minimum distribution requirements waived in 2020
    Date to file/make first payment on taxes moved to 7/15
    Connect with Steve Kaplan
    Kaplan CPA: https://www.skaplancpa.com/
    Call (914) 733-7340
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    CARES Act: https://www.skaplancpa.com/
    SBA Loans: https://www.sba.gov/disaster-assistance/coronavirus-covid-19
    Paycheck Protection Program: https://www.sba.gov/funding-programs/loans/coronavirus-relief-options/paycheck-protection-program-ppp
    SECURE Act: https://www.congress.gov/bill/116th-congress/house-bill/1994/text
    24 min
  • Managing Divorce in the Coronavirus Era with Michelle Smith
    There is no precedent for how to negotiate a divorce under the current circumstances. We simply can’t ask what a division of assets looks like during a Coronavirus pandemic because it’s never happened before! So, how can divorcing couples get creative and collaborate on financially neutral solutions that serve both parties?
    Michelle Smith is the Founder and CEO of Source Financial Advisors, a wealth management and divorce financial planning firm based in New York City. Michelle has spent the majority of her 29 year career helping clients navigate complex financial issues, and as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst designation and divorce mediator, has a specialty in divorce. She has recently created and trademarked a 12-month educational program for women transitioning from divorce to their own financial independence called Wife2CFO.
    On this special episode of the podcast, Michelle joins Katherine to explain why there’s never been a better time for divorce mediation and share her strategy for building an interim rescue plan for divorcing couples. She offers advice for people who rely on their portfolio to pay the bills, discussing how divorcing couples should think about their investments in light of the market drop and why it may be in their best interest to keep some assets tied together for the time being. Listen in for Michelle’s insight around how current circumstances are forcing us to rethink what really matters and learn how a financial planner can help you find creative, financially neutral solutions in divorce.
    Topics Covered
    How divorcing couples should think about their investments given the market drop
    Michelle’s response to someone who says they can’t afford to get divorced right now
    Why it’s an ideal time to find financially neutral solutions through mediation
    Building an interim rescue plan for couples who still want to divorce
    How the health crisis facilitates a personal financial reset on what matters
    The current opportunity for attorneys to encourage creative solutions
    The danger in waiting until everything is back to normal to negotiate your divorce
    Why it may be in a divorcing couple’s interest to keep their assets tied together
    Michelle’s advice for people who rely on their portfolio to pay the bills
    Why Michelle uses sustainable rate of withdrawal vs. investment rate of return
    Why it’s crucial to have 12 months of expenses liquid and available
    What makes the ability to collaborate a massive strength rather than a weakness
    Michelle’s insight around our responsibility not to freeze in fear right now
    Connect with Michelle Smith
    Source Financial Advisors: https://www.sourcefa.com/
    Call (917) 539-2117
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Disclaimer: Source Financial Advisors, LLC is a registered investment advisor with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission ("SEC"). The comments provided are for informational purposes only and is not intended as an offer, or a solicitation of an offer, to buy or sell any investment or specific product.
    28 min
  • How to Build a Parenting Plan That Work for Your Children with Elyse Goldweber
    Among the most painful aspects of divorce is not being able to see our children for extended periods of time. And the holidays can be especially difficult. So, what do divorcing parents need to consider as we negotiate a parenting plan that works for everyone involved? What can we do to protect our kids through the process and design an agreement that is as fair as possible?
    Elyse Golweber has 30-plus years of experience in the realm of matrimonial law, family law and the dissolution of business partnerships. She began her career as a trial attorney for the US Department of Justice and served as a lawyer for the SEC’s Division of Enforcement before founding Goldweber Epstein in 1995. Elyse currently serves on the Family Law Committee of the Women’s Bar Association and the Matrimonial Committee of the Association of the Bar of the City of New York.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Elyse joins Katherine to discuss the role of creativity in building a parenting plan specific to the family involved. She explains what it takes to make a 50/50 custody plan work and shares her approach to deciding where children will spend the holidays. Listen in for Elyse’s insight how the attorney for the child impacts divorce negotiations and learn what you can do to protect your kids through this challenging process.
    Topics Covered
    Building a creative parenting plan specific to the family involved
    How the parenting agreement serves as the ‘default position’
    How Elyse thinks about fairness in the context of parenting plans
    When a 50/50 custody agreement is most appropriate + what makes a 50/50 plan work
    The challenges of building a parenting plan when the kids don’t want to leave home
    Why Elyse prefers 50/50 plans that divide the week over week on/week off plans
    The benefits of working with a parent coordinator
    The difficult adjustment divorcing parents face in not seeing their children for extended periods
    The role of the attorney for the child and how they impact negotiations
    Elyse’s approach to determining where kids will spend the holidays
    What parents can do to protect their children through divorce negotiations
    Elyse’s advice for parents struggling to give up their role as CEO of the family
    Connect with Elyse Goldweber
    Goldweber Epstein LLP: https://www.gelawny.com/
    (212) 355-4149
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    26 min
  • Preparing Your Kids for the Transition to Divorce with Dr. Jeff Zimmerman
    Conventional wisdom tells us that divorce has a negative influence on children. And yet, the research reveals that it’s the level of parental conflict that has the greatest adverse impact on kids—whether their parents stay married or not. So, how can we work WITH our ex to make the transition a little easier on our children?  What can we do to step up and be parents for our kids when they need us most?
    Dr. Jeffrey Zimmerman is a licensed psychologist with more than 35 years of experience supporting individuals and families through the stress of separation and divorce. Dr. Zimmerman is trained as a mediator, parenting coordinator, and collaborative divorce professional, and he earned the Connecticut Psychological Association’s Distinguished Contribution to the Practice of Psychology Award for his work with high-conflict families of divorce. Dr. Zimmerman is also the coauthor of Adult Children of Divorce, The Co-Parenting Survival Guide, and Loving Your Children More Than You Hate Each Other.
    On this episode of the podcast, Dr. Zimmerman joins Katherine to explain what parents can do to prepare their kids for divorce and explain the situation in an age-appropriate manner. He discusses the research around parental conflict as the greatest negative influence on kids, walking us through what parental conflict can look like and what parents can do to engage in cooperative coparenting. Listen in for Dr. Zimmerman’s insight on sharing your emotions with your children and learn how to separate your role as a spouse from your role as a parent to make the transition to divorce easier on your kids.
    Topics Covered
    Explaining divorce to your children in an age-appropriate manner
    How divorce impacts the development of very young children
    The research around parental conflict as the greatest negative influence on kids
    What parental conflict looks like (e.g.: badmouthing, sarcasm, outright hostility, etc.)
    What parents can do to engage in cooperative coparenting
    Why teens and adult children have complicated reactions to divorce
    Dr. Zimmerman’s advice on telling very young children about divorce
    Small doses of info in terms they understand
    Reassurance more important than schedule
    Dr. Zimmerman’s insight on sharing your emotions with your children
    Separating your role as a spouse from your role as a parent
    Making the transition to divorce easier for kids through nesting
    Connect with Dr. Jeff Zimmerman
    Dr. Zimmerman’s Website: https://jeffzimmermanphd.com/
    Books by Dr. Zimmerman: https://www.newharbinger.com/author/jeffrey-zimmerman
    Call (914) 595-4040
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    Adult Children of Divorce: How to Overcome the Legacy of Your Parents’ Break-up and Enjoy Love, Trust, and Intimacy by Elizabeth Thayer and Jeffrey Zimmerman: https://www.newharbinger.com/adult-children-divorce
    The Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Letting Go of Conflict After a Difficult Divorce by Elizabeth Thayer and Jeffrey Zimmerman: https://www.newharbinger.com/co-parenting-survival-guide
    Loving Your Children More Than You Hate Each Other: Powerful Tools for Navigating a High-Conflict Divorce by Lauren J. Behrman and Jeffrey Zimmerman: https://www.newharbinger.com/loving-your-children-more-you-hate-each-other
    26 min
  • Expert Advice on Selling Your Home During Divorce with Lou Rodriguez
    Selling your home is a complex process in and of itself. But selling your home because of divorce adds another layer of complexity. How do you make decisions with an ex when you’re already struggling to communicate?
    Lou Rodriguez is a professionally trained and certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist and Real Estate Probate Specialist based in South Florida. He has 19 years of experience in valuing homes and analyzing market trends, and in that time, he has closed on more than 700 transactions. Lou is also the author of For Sale by Divorce: The Expert’s Guide to Divorce and Property Division and Selling Your Home During Divorce: How Everyone Can Win.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Lou joins Katherine to discuss the role a real estate divorce specialist plays in helping couples sell a marital property. He explains why it’s important NOT to disclose that a couple is divorcing, how he handles the situation when the couple is not getting along, and what he does when they disagree on how much to invest in fixing up a property. Listen in for Lou’s insight on what to do if one or both parties is reluctant to sell their home and learn how a real estate divorce specialist makes it easier for a divorcing couple to liquidate their marital property—so everyone wins!
    Topics Covered
    The role of a real estate divorce specialist in helping couples sell a marital property
    Why it’s important NOT to disclose that a couple is divorcing as they sell their home
    How Lou handles the situation when a divorcing couple is not getting along
    The benefit of meeting with both spouses together to establish expectations
    What Lou does when a couple disagrees on how much to invest in fixing up a property
    Lou’s ability to assess what needs to be done to get the best price for a house
    Making maintenance part of the MSA when one party is staying in the home
    The questions Lou asks a divorcing couple upon first meeting
    Have you told your family and friends about the divorce?
    Have you discussed what’s happening with your kids?
    Why it’s crucial for Lou to keep an open line of communication with both spouses
    The information Lou provides if a one or both parties is reluctant to sell their home
    Lou’s approach to communicating with divorce attorneys and other professionals
    How understanding the couple’s timeline helps Lou structure the transaction
    Connect with Lou Rodriguez
    Lou’s Website: https://lourodriguez.me/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    For Sale by Divorce: The Expert’s Guide to Divorce and Property Division by Lou Rodriguez: https://www.amazon.com/Sale-Divorce-Experts-Property-Division%C2%AE-ebook/dp/B00MF0AIDW
    Selling Your Home During Divorce: How Everyone Can Win by Lou Rodriguez: https://lourodriguez.me/selling-your-home-during-divorce/
    Carol Ann Wilson & Gregg Greenstein: http://www.realestatedivorcespecialist.com/
    26 min
  • Getting a Fair Divorce Settlement with a CDFA with Nancy Hetrick
    As you negotiate a divorce settlement, it’s useful to think about assets like a bowl of fruit. While it might look like an apple and a pear have the same worth, it’s crucial to solicit the advice of a professional to ensure that what appears to be a 50/50 split is truly equal. So, how can a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) help you navigate the divorce-specific items in the tax code and negotiate a fair settlement with your former spouse?
    Nancy Hetrick is the CDFA behind Smarter Divorce Solutions, an Arizona firm dedicated to helping couples craft settlements that are a win-win for both parties. Nancy has 20-plus years of experience as a financial advisor, and she is trained in both mediation and Collaborative Divorce. She was a 2014 Finalist for the BBB Business Ethics Awards and the 2015 Winner of NAWBO’s Business Owner of the Year, and Nancy is the author of Divorce is Not for Dummies: How to Cover Your Assets.
    On this episode, Nancy joins Katherine to explain what differentiates a CDFA from other financial planners. She walks us through the most common mistake couples make in negotiating divorce settlements, covering the complexities of sharing pension benefits with an ex and the potential tax implications of an ‘equal’ division of assets. Listen in for Nancy’s advice to couples considering divorce and learn how a CDFA can maximize the tax efficiency of a settlement, helping both parties get more of their own money!
    Topics Covered
    What differentiates a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst from other financial planners
    The most common financial mistake couples make in negotiating divorce settlements
    Overlooking tax implications
    The biggest financial mistakes couples make in negotiating divorce settlements
    Beneficiary issues around pensions
    Hang onto house they can’t afford
    The complexities of the Qualified Domestic Relations Order or QDRO
    Understanding the choices available to divorcing couples in a specific pension plan
    How changing rules in municipal pension plans impact the non-employee spouse
    The different payout methods available to pension holders + their former spouses
    The value in doing a 20-year financial projection for both parties in a divorce
    Leveraging creative settlements to maximize tax efficiency for a divorcing couple
    How the laws around divorce differ dramatically from state to state
    How a Certified Financial Coach can support people who haven’t managed money
    Nancy’s advice for couples considering or initiating the divorce process
    Find CDFA in your area to do What if? look
    Pay for experts to save money in long run
    Connect with Nancy Hetrick
    Smarter Divorce Solutions: https://smarterdivorcesolutions.com/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts: https://smarterdivorcesolutions.com/
    QDRO: https://www.investopedia.com/personal-finance/whats-qdro/
    Divorce is Not for Dummies: How to Cover Your Assets by Nancy A. Hetrick: https://www.amazon.com/Divorce-Not-Dummies-Cover-Assets/dp/1519356943/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494265323&sr=8-1&keywords=divorce+is+not+for+dummies
    26 min
  • Manage Strong Emotions & Divorce with Dignity with Dr. Susan Heitler
    It’s no surprise that divorcing couples deal with strong emotions. And yet, we know that our brains work best when we’re in the Calm Zone. So, how do we manage the feelings of anxiety, anger or sadness that come up in the divorce process? How do we bring ourselves back to that quiet, problem-solving mode so that we can divorce with dignity?
    Dr. Susan Heitler is a clinical psychologist specializing in the treatment of anxiety, depression, anger and marital difficulties. Educated at Harvard and NYU, Dr. Heitler is the author of several books, including Prescriptions Without Pills: For Relief from Depression, Anger, Anxiety and More and The Power of Two: Secrets to a Strong and Loving Marriage. She is often called upon to present training workshops for therapists around the world, and Dr. Heitler’s work has been featured in Men’s Health, Woman’s World, Parenting and Psychology Today, among many other media outlets.
    On this episode, Dr. Heitler joins Katherine to share her Bump Theory of dealing with life’s challenges and walk us through the five possible reactions to a difficult situation like divorce. She explains why our brains don’t work under the influence of strong emotions and describes how to navigate the anxiety that comes when we’re facing the unknown. Listen in to understand Dr. Heitler’s Best Possible Light exercise for reframing shame and learn how to alleviate anger, anxiety and depression—without pills!
    Topics Covered
    Why our brains don’t work under the influence of strong emotions
    The 5 reactions to challenging situations in Dr. Heitler’s Bump Theory
    1. Finding solutions
    2. Fight
    3. Fold
    4. Freeze
    5. Flee
    The consequences of anger, depression, anxiety and avoidance
    How to navigate the anxiety of changes associated with divorce
    The interventions for divorcing couples at Prescriptions Without Pills
    Dr. Heitler’s Best Possible Light exercise for reframing shame
    Why couples considering divorce should find a good therapist
    Dr. Heitler’s take on narcissism, sociopathy and personality disorder
    Connect with Dr. Susan Heitler
    Prescriptions Without Pills: https://prescriptionswithoutpills.com/
    Therapy Help: https://www.therapyhelp.com/
    Dr. Heitler on Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    Prescriptions Without Pills: For Relief from Depression, Anger, Anxiety and More by Susan Heitler PhD: https://www.amazon.com/Prescriptions-Without-Pills-Depression-Anxiety/dp/1630478105
    Bump Theory: https://societyforpsychotherapy.org/bump-theory/
    Power of Two: https://www.poweroftwomarriage.com/
    The Power of Two: Secrets to a Strong and Loving Marriage by Susan Heitler PhD: https://www.amazon.com/Power-Two-Secrets-Strong-Marriage/dp/1572240598?ie=UTF8&keywords=power%20of%20two%20dr.%20heitler&qid=1462300056&ref_=sr_1_fkmr0_2&sr=8-2-fkmr0
    Marriage Story: https://www.netflix.com/title/80223779
    26 min
  • The Nuances of Military Divorce with John P. Cannon
    If you’re divorcing a member of the military or you’re a servicemember yourself, there are a number of complexities around the process that make it different from a civilian divorce. So, what are the special considerations associated with military divorce?
    John P. Cannon is the founder of Cannon & Associates, an Oklahoma City firm with expertise in military divorce and criminal defense. He is also a Judge Advocate in the Oklahoma National Guard, advising and representing Soldiers in matters of adoption, divorce and child custody. A former assistant district attorney, public defender and assistant attorney general, John serves as a fierce advocate for families and freedom.
    On this episode, John joins Katherine to discuss how military divorce differs from non-military divorce and why servicemembers with substantial combat experience are more likely to divorce. He explains how to assess the income potential of a servicemember for spousal support and what the Frozen Benefit Rule means for former military spouses. Listen in for insight on calculating pension benefits, maintaining rights to the Survivor Benefit Plan, and understanding who’s eligible for military health insurance.
    Topics Covered
    How military divorce differs from non-military divorce
    Determining income potential for spousal support
    The special rules re: jurisdiction in a military divorce
    How military divorce rates compare to the general population
    What the Frozen Benefit Rule means for former spouses
    Why it’s crucial to follow the rules in The NDAA of 2017
    Maintaining your rights to the Survivor Benefit Plan
    When you allowed make changes to a spousal agreement
    The formula for determining pension benefits
    How long former/surviving spouses are entitled to TRICARE
    Connect with John P. Cannon
    Cannon & Associates: https://jpcannonlawfirm.com/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    Pennoyer v. Neff: https://jpcannonlawfirm.com/
    Frozen Benefit Rule: https://jpcannonlawfirm.com/2019/11/frozen-benefit/
    National Defense Authorization Act of 2017: https://www.congress.gov/bill/114th-congress/senate-bill/2943/text
    DFAS: https://www.usa.gov/federal-agencies/defense-finance-and-accounting-service
    26 min
  • Reclaiming Your Power After a Divorce You Didn’t Choose with Denise LaRue
    How do you reclaim your power after a divorce—especially if the breakup wasn’t your decision? It starts with making yourself a priority and getting the support necessary to step out of your role as a victim. And if you’re willing to explore your trauma and do the work necessary to heal, the reward is an opportunity to contribute your best self to the world.
    Denise LaRue is the trauma-informed life coach behind Denise LaRue Coaching, a practice dedicated to helping women reclaim their power and pursue life on their terms. After 15 years spent climbing the corporate ladder, Denise realized that something was missing. That’s when she traded in the golden handcuffs for a life of freedom and fulfillment. Today, Denise leverages her personal experiences to help clients navigate seasons of change, get unstuck and create their own purpose-filled life.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Denise joins Katherine to discuss her role as a trauma-informed life coach, explaining how our childhood experiences shape the adults we become. She addresses how to take ownership of your contribution to the breakup of a relationship and give yourself the healing gift of forgiveness. Listen in for Denise’s insight on taking back your power in the aftermath of a divorce you didn’t choose and learn to make yourself a priority on the journey to living your best life.
    Topics Covered
    Denise’s role as a trauma-informed life coach
    How childhood trauma shapes the adult you become
    The panic attack that inspired Denise to walk away from her corporate job
    Taking back your power in the aftermath of a divorce you didn’t choose
    Why you owe it to the world to make yourself a priority
    How Denise’s view of forgiving her ex shifted
    The powerful exercise Denise uses to help clients forgive
    Taking ownership for your contribution to the breakup of a relationship
    Denise’s advice on being led by your intuition
    Exploring your past for clues re: your purpose in the world
    Connect with Denise LaRue
    Denise LaRue Coaching: https://deniselaruecoaching.com/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    26 min
  • How to Divorce a Narcissist & Get Your Power Back with Lisa Cheatham
    The early stages of a relationship with a narcissist feel perfect. They are charming and charismatic and make you feel like you’re a part of something bigger than yourself. But when something seems too good to be true, it usually is. And without fail, being with a narcissist evolves into a situation where you’re always trying to please and everything is your fault. So, how do you take the first steps to leave a narcissist? And how do you take care of yourself in the divorce process?
    Lisa Cheatham is a Transformational Life Coach who works with high-achieving women recovering from toxic relationships. She is on a mission to inspire and empower women transitioning through divorce, helping them step into their power and get their life back. Lisa leverages her personal experience with narcissistic abuse to support others in cultivating the confidence and unshakable self-love necessary to move forward and rebuild their lives.
    On this episode, Lisa joins Katherine to explain what a relationship with a narcissist looks like and share the characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder. She describes how a relationship with a narcissist changes over time, why it takes longer to recover from a breakup with a narcissist, and how a narcissist’s lack of empathy presents in the divorce process. Listen in for insight on maintaining a positive relationship with your kids when they’re being manipulated by your ex and learn how to navigate the difficult process of divorcing a narcissist.
    Topics Covered
    How to know if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist
    The characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder
    • Need constant attention and praise
    • Sense of self-importance and entitlement
    • Lack empathy and view people as objects
    How a relationship with a narcissist changes over time
    How narcissists exercise control over their partners
    How long it takes to recover from a breakup with a narcissist
    How a narcissist will do anything to save face in divorce
    The challenges around coparenting with a narcissist
    How to deal with the process of divorcing a narcissist
    • Develop self-care regimen
    • Set firm and loving boundaries
    • Foster forgiveness
    • Block as much contact as possible
    Lisa’s personal experience being married to a narcissist
    What to do when your kids are being manipulated
    Setting up a support system when you leave a narcissist
    Connect with Lisa Cheatham
    Lisa on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-cheatham-635127191/
    Lisa on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pg/LisaCheathamLC/about/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    24 min

About Divorce Dialogues

From the publisher's feed

Divorce Dialogues helps people navigate divorce with dignity, clarity, and perspective. Through thoughtful conversations with experts and practitioners, the show explores the emotional, financial, legal, and relational realities of divorce, so listeners can make better decisions, communicate more effectively, and move forward with greater confidence.