Divorce Dialogues

Divorce Dialogues

By Katherine MillerSociety & Culture
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Divorce Dialogues episodes

  • Is Your Marriage Beyond Saving? with Kira Gould
    The COVID pandemic has put extra pressure on even the healthiest marriages. And for couples who were already struggling, sheltering in place together has exacerbated our issues. But how do you know if it’s bad enough to call it quits?
    Kira Gould is a Certified Divorce Coach and Real Estate Divorce Specialist dedicated to transforming the divorce process from an adversarial knock-down-drag-out to an intention-driven, family-focused journey in personal evolution. She is also the Founder of Getting Unmarried, a coaching platform that helps clients move on with clarity, compassion and positive intention.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Kira joins Katherine to discuss the signs that a marriage is beyond saving, challenging us to ask, ‘Do I have anything left to give this relationship?’ She describes the early warning signs that a couple should get help, explaining how little annoyances can escalate into a battle of ill wills and why vulnerability is a crucial component of healthy communication. Listen in for insight on the physical and emotional displacement of moving when a marriage ends and learn how a real estate divorce expert can help you find a sense of comfort and joy in your new space.
    Topics Covered
    How to recognize when your marriage is beyond saving
    The connection between physical and emotional intimacy
    The early warning signs that you and your partner should get help (before it’s too late)
    Learning to communicate effectively with your spouse
    The power in asking, ‘Do I have anything left to give this relationship?’
    How little annoyances can escalate into a battle of ill wills
    Why vulnerability is crucial to healthy communication
    Showing up in a way that encourages open dialogue vs. letting your anger build
    Treating your partner with kindness + being present to their bids for attention
    Kira’s insight on the physical and emotional displacement of moving due to divorce
    Finding a sense of joy and comfort in being in a new space
    Kira’s ideas for how to honor the home you shared
    Connect with Kira Gould
    Getting Unmarried: https://www.getting-unmarried.com/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    Books by John Gottman: https://www.amazon.com/John-Gottman/e/B002H0RGXA
    Snapfish: https://www.snapfish.com/home
    Shutterfly: https://www.shutterfly.com/
    26 min
  • Divorce & Your Financial Security with Stacy Francis
    A lot of people stay in unhappy marriages because they don’t think they can afford not to. But if you’re willing to take a close look at your finances and enlist the help of the right professionals, you can come to a peaceful resolution and navigate a divorce settlement that ensures your financial security for the long term.
    Stacy Francis is the Founder and CEO of Francis Financial, a fee-only, boutique wealth management, financial planning and divorce financial planning firm. A nationally-recognized financial expert with 18-plus years in the industry, she is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), Divorce Financial Strategist and Certified Estate and Trust Specialist (CES). Stacy is also a member of the Forbes Finance Council, and she has appeared on CNBC, PBS and Good Morning America, among many other media outlets.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Stacy joins Katherine to explain why people are reluctant to take a close look at their finances and how she helps people get past their fear of judgement around money. She describes what differentiates a CDFA and how they can help you, offering advice on what questions to ask as you select your team of divorce professionals. Listen in for insight on making sure you’re financially secure after divorce and take the first step to getting a clear picture of your money situation.
    Topics Covered
    The most important thing you can do to make sure you’re financially secure for the long term after divorce
    Why people are reluctant to take a close look at their finances
    How Stacy’s team helps people get past their fear of judgement around money
    The first step for getting a clear picture of your money situation
    How you might use COVID to initiate a conversation with your spouse about your financial situation
    What differentiates a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and how they can help you
    Identifying what YOU need in a settlement to feel comfortable, knowledgeable and financially secure
    What to look for in a CDFA
    How the process and professionals you choose impact your ability to achieve a peaceful resolution
    Stacy’s top three tips for those of us contemplating divorce
    Connect with Stacy Francis
    Francis Financial: https://francisfinancial.com
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    NAPFA: https://www.napfa.org
    The Francis Financial White Paper: https://francisfinancial.com/divorce
    25 min
  • Helping Children Build Resilience Through Divorce with Risa Garon
    Though most divorcing couples intend to put the best interests of their children first, their own emotions get in the way. So, how can divorced parents learn to prioritize their children’s needs and create a trusting and constructive coparenting relationship? How can they help their kids build resilience in the aftermath of divorce?
    Risa Garon is the Cofounder and Executive Director of the National Family Resiliency Center (NFRC), an organization that provides counseling and educational programs to help children and adults cope, heal and navigate through divorce and other family transitions. Risa is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Family Life Educator with nearly 30 years of experience helping separating and divorced couples develop parenting plans that focus on the developmental needs of the children involved.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Risa joins Katherine to explain why it’s challenging for divorcing parents to put the best interests of their children first. She walks us through the four components of NFRC’s child-focused decision-making model, discussing how she considers what both parents want—but prioritizes the child’s needs. Listen in for insight on dealing with high-conflict parents and get Risa’s advice on minimizing stress over the holidays after a divorce.
    Topics Covered
    Why it’s challenging for divorcing parents to put the best interests of their children first
    The four components of NFRC’s child-focused decision-making model
    Risa’s insight on how to deal with parents in a high-conflict divorce
    How Risa considers what both parents want but prioritizes their children’s needs
    Training mental health professionals, judicial officers, attorneys and mediators to mitigate conflict
    Risa’s advice for minimizing stress over the holidays post-divorce
    Successful examples of incorporating old holiday traditions with new ones after a divorce
    Why Risa encourages divorced parents to chip in on one gift rather than buying presents separately
    What grieving parents can do on holidays they spend without their kids
    Connect with Risa Garon
    National Family Resiliency Center: https://www.nfrchelp.org/
    Call (410) 740-9553
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    Books by Risa Garon: https://www.amazon.com/Books-Risa-J-Garon/s?rh=n%3A283155%2Cp_27%3ARisa+J.+Garon
    26 min
  • Reduce the Stress of Divorce with Mindfulness with Dr. Crystal Moore
    Divorce is stressful. But there are things we can do to mitigate that stress and avoid the conflict that comes when our emotions get the best of us. In fact, implementing just one or two simple mindfulness techniques can go a long way in helping us get out of our heads and re-center—without having to master Lotus Pose.
    Dr. Crystal Dea Moore is a Professor of Social Work at Skidmore College and the coauthor of The Divorce Recovery Workbook: How to Heal from Anger, Hurt and Resentment and Build the Life You Want. Dr. Moore also has specialized training in Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), serving as both a practitioner and qualified teacher in the practice of using mindfulness strategies to deal with stress, anxiety, pain and other negative emotions.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Moore joins Katherine to define mindfulness and share the techniques we can use in our daily lives to reduce stress. She introduces us to the concept of ambiguous loss, challenging us to lean into our grief and leverage both/and thinking to navigate the trauma of divorce. Listen in for Dr. Moore’s insight on redefining your sense of identity after a divorce and learn how to gradually let go of resentment for your own sake—even if what your ex has done seems unforgivable.
    Topics Covered
    How mindfulness is defined as moment-to-moment awareness of the present
    Developing an awareness of the backstories we create that add to our stress
    How to introduce mindfulness into your daily life (without taking up Buddhism)
    How her own experience with divorce and an ability to be with loss led Dr. Moore to this work
    Allowing ourselves to lean into grief vs. burying the grief reaction
    The concept of ambiguous loss and what we can do to deal with it
    Leveraging both/and thinking to navigate the trauma of ambiguous loss
    Redefining our own sense of identity and reformulating who we are in relation to others after divorce
    How Dr. Moore thinks about forgiveness as a gradual letting go of negative thoughts and feelings toward someone who wronged you
    Dr. Moore’s advice on letting go of resentment in the aftermath of divorce
    Connect with Dr. Crystal Moore
    Dr. Crystal Online: https://www.drcrystalonline.com/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    The Divorce Recovery Workbook: How to Heal from Anger, Hurt and Resentment and Build the Life You Want by Mark S. Rye, PhD, and Crystal Dea Moore, PhD: https://www.drcrystalonline.com/
    Dr. Pauline Boss on Ambiguous Loss: https://www.ambiguousloss.com/
    26 min
  • Optimize Your Social Security Benefits After Divorce with James McGlynn
    It’s hard enough to understand what Social Security benefits you may be entitled to as a married person, but once you’re divorced… Well, it’s complicated. Can you claim spousal benefits on an ex-spouse? What happens if your ex remarries? Or passes away?
    James McGlynn is the CEO at Next Quarter Century, a retirement planning firm out of Fort Worth, Texas. He spent 35 years serving clients as a mutual fund manager before transitioning to retirement planning and developing an expertise in maximizing Social Security benefits. James is both a Chartered Financial Analyst and Retirement Income Certified Professional, and he earned his Bachelor’s in Accounting and Finance at the University of Texas at Austin.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, James joins Katherine to offer an overview of the Social Security program, explaining how the spousal benefit is calculated and how long a married couple has to wait before they can claim it. He describes when a divorced person can collect spousal and survivor benefits (even if their ex remarries) and how to inform the Social Security Administration that you want to claim on an ex-spouse. Listen in for James’ insight on maximizing your Social Security benefits and learn what factors to consider in deciding whether to file as soon as you can—or wait until you turn 70.
    Topics Covered
    An overview of the Social Security program and when Americans qualify to receive benefits
    How the spousal benefit works and how the amount is calculated
    The factors to consider in deciding when to claim your Social Security benefits
    How long a married couple has to wait before claiming the spousal benefit
    How an ex-spouse can claim spousal benefits if they were married for at least 10 years
    What happens if a person has two former spouses and they were married to each for 10+ years
    Informing the Social Security Administration that you want to claim a spousal benefit on an ex
    How Social Security survivor benefits differ between a divorced spouse and a widower
    What happens when your ex-spouse has remarried and you both claim survivor benefits
    How your spousal benefit changes when your ex-spouse passes away
    Why you may want to wait to remarry until after the age of 60
    When and how to switch from collecting on your own benefits to collecting on an ex-spouse
    Connect with James McGlynn
    Next Quarter Century: https://www.nextquartercentury.com/post/divorce-and-social-security
    Call (817) 602-8859
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    James’ Blog on Who Should File for Social Security Early: https://www.nextquartercentury.com/post/who-should-file-for-social-security-early-age-62
    James’ Blog on Social Security and Divorce: https://www.nextquartercentury.com/post/divorce-and-social-security
    Call the Social Security Administration at 1-800-SSA-1213
    25 min
  • Navigating Financial Infidelity & Gray Divorce with Lisa Decker
    While the overall divorce rate in the US has declined, gray divorce is on the rise. In fact, among adults over 50, the divorce rate has doubled in the last 30 years! Why are older Americans divorcing at such a dramatic rate? And what does it mean for their finances?
    Lisa Decker is a nationally recognized expert in the financial matters of divorce. A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst and Real Estate Collaboration Specialist in Divorce, she offers flat-fee divorce financial planning services to clients across the country via coaching, consulting and full analysis options. Lisa is also the creator of several innovative online resources, including Divorce Money Matters and Divorce Town USA, and she has been featured in Money Magazine, The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times, among many other national media publications.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Lisa joins Katherine to explain why the divorce rate is highest among couples over the age of 50 and discuss the consequences of gray divorce. She explores why the financial impact can be greater for older divorcing couples, introducing us to the idea of financial infidelity and sharing real-life examples from her practice. Listen in for Lisa’s insight on the costliest mistakes divorcing couples make (and how to avoid them!) and learn to be a proactive partner when it comes to matters of your health and wealth.
    Topics Covered
    Why the divorce rate is highest among couples over the age of 50
    The harmful health and financial consequences of gray divorce
    What kind of behavior rises to the level of financial infidelity
    The level of secrecy that distinguishes financial infidelity from other tensions around money in a relationship
    Why the financial impact is often greater in the case of gray divorce
    Why second and third marriages are more likely to end in divorce
    Lisa’s insight around costly divorce mistakes (and how to avoid them)
    Lisa’s challenge to be a proactive partner in all matters of your health and wealth
    Why you should start gathering your financial documents before you file for divorce
    Building a team that includes an attorney, divorce financial planner and therapist or coach
    Connect with Lisa Decker
    Divorce Money Matters: https://www.divorcemoneymatters.com/
    Divorce Town USA: https://www.divorcetownusa.com/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    Bowling Green State University’s Research on Gray Divorce: https://www.divorcetownusa.com/
    National Center for Family and Marriage Research: https://aspe.hhs.gov/national-center-family-and-marriage-research-current-opportunities
    Amicable Divorce Network: https://www.divorcetownusa.com/service-providers/amicable-divorce-network
    25 min
  • To Heal from Divorce, Move Through Your Grief with Whitney Boole
    EP: 134
    Whitney Boole
    To Heal from Divorce, Move Through Your Grief
    Do you feel stuck in the pain of divorce? Are you having a hard time moving on? Like any other loss, divorce triggers the grief process. And you have to move through the stages of grief if you want to heal.
    Whitney Boole is the licensed marriage and family therapist behind Beach Cities Psychotherapy, a private practice based in Hermosa Beach, California, where she specializes in trauma, codependency, relationship issues, parenting and grief and loss. Whitney is also the author of You Got This: Healing Through Divorce and the creator of Heal Through Divorce, a platform designed to empower people through the divorce process and offer them the therapeutic tools for healing. 
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogue, Whitney joins Katherine to share her own experience of loneliness in divorce, describing the journey of self-discovery that helped her move through the pain and take advantage of the opportunity for transformation. She explains why it’s crucial to lean into self-care during the divorce process and introduces us to breathing techniques for harnessing our fear in challenging circumstances. Listen in for Whitney’s insight on renegotiating relationships with friends and family when a marriage ends and learn how to navigate the stages of grief and heal through divorce.
    Topics Covered
    How Whitney’s experience of loneliness in divorce inspired You Got This
    Whitney’s insight on renegotiating friendships in the aftermath of divorce
    The grief involved when our relationships with our former in-laws change
    The danger in dating before you’ve moved through the pain and grief of divorce
    Who would benefit most from reading You Got This
    Whitney’s advice on leaning into self-care as you begin the divorce process
    Whitney’s guidance around choosing a divorce lawyer carefully
    Using breathing techniques to harness your fear and be less reactive
    The opportunity for healing, transformation and growth that comes from divorce
    Understanding that your ex’s infidelity is not a reflection on your worth
    Connect with Whitney Boole
    Heal Through Divorce
    Whitney’s Website
    You Got This Facebook Group
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    You Got This: Healing Through Divorce by Whitney Boole: https://www.amazon.com/You-Got-This-Healing-Through/dp/1733849009
    Whitney’s Blog Post: Learn from My $500 Meltdown So You Don’t Have One Too: http://www.whitneyboole.com/new-blog/2020/7/10/divorce-learn-from-my-500-meltdown-so-you-dont-have-one-too
    Whitney’s Conquering Divorce Grief Video Series: https://programs.whitneyboole.com/grief/
    Whitney’s Blog Post: The Secrets Wounds of Infidelity—It’s Not Because You Weren’t Enough: http://www.whitneyboole.com/new-blog/2019/2/14/it-was-not-because-you-werent-enough-the-secret-wounds-of-infidelity
    Whitney’s Mastering ‘The Talk’ Program: https://programs.whitneyboole.com/mastering-the-talk/
    Whitney’s Healing Through Divorce Transformational Coaching Experience: https://programs.whitneyboole.com/thrive/
    25 min
  • Divorcing an Abusive Spouse with Lisa Angel
    For victims of domestic violence, the actual separation from an abusive spouse is a dangerous time. What resources are available to help survivors plan a safe exit? What can we do to protect ourselves and our kids from further harm? And what legal protections exist to support those of us who are divorcing an abusive spouse?
    Board Certified Family Law Specialist Lisa Angel is the President of Rosen Law Firm, a divorce law practice out of Raleigh, North Carolina. She has served as Chair of North Carolina’s Domestic Violence Commission and been named to Triangle’s list of Top 25 Women in Business. Lisa regularly helps domestic violence victims escape their abusers, and she is also the author of Smart Divorce: The End of a Marriage Isn’t the End of the World and 365 Divorce Meditations: Daily Lessons for the First Year of Your New Life.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Lisa joins Katherine to define domestic violence, discussing the distinctions among physical, emotional and financial abuse. She explains why many men don’t identify abusive behavior as domestic violence and where victims of either gender can go for support in planning a safe way to exit. Listen in for Lisa’s advice for domestic violence survivors around issues of child custody and learn about the legal protections available to victims of abuse who file for divorce.
    Topics Covered
    The distinctions among physical, emotional and financial abuse
    Trusting the victim when they know it’s time to leave their abusive spouse
    Why men don’t report or even identify abusive behavior as domestic violence
    What Lisa does to help judges see patterns of abuse when her client is a man
    Lisa’s take on characterizing her clients as survivors vs. victims
    Where to go for support in planning the safest way to exit an abusive relationship
    Lisa’s advice for domestic violence survivors around child custody
    Lisa’s concerns re: how the pandemic is affecting domestic violence
    The legal protections available to victims of domestic violence filing for divorce
    Connect with Lisa Angel
    Rosen Law Firm: https://www.rosen.com/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    Smart Divorce: The End of a Marriage Isn’t the End of the World by Lee Rosen and Lisa Angel: https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Divorce-Marriage-Isnt-World-ebook/dp/B00KX7P5XM/
    365 Divorce Meditations: Daily Lessons for the First Year of Your New Life by Lee Rosen and Lisa Angel: https://www.amazon.com/365-Divorce-Meditations-Daily-Lessons/dp/143925625X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1394647621&sr=8-1&keywords=Lisa+Angel+divorce
    25 min
  • How to Have a Happy Divorce with Nikki DeBartolo & Benjamin Heldfond
    Most divorcing couples are good at the blame game. They cast their former partner as the villain and spend a lot of time stewing in bitterness and anger. But if that kind of ongoing adversarial relationship is not what you want for your kids, there is a way to clean up the wreckage of the past and build something new. There is a way to have a happy divorce.
    Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond are the coauthors and coparents behind Our Happy Divorce: How Ending Our Marriage Brought Us Closer Together. They are also the cocreators of Our Happy Divorce, a platform designed to empower people to think differently about divorce, coparenting, stepparenting, and what it means to put kids first.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Nikki and Ben join Katherine to explain how their definition of a happy divorce has evolved over time and discuss the process they went through to build the relationship they have today. They offer advice for divorcing couples who are struggling with forgiveness, describing how they make decisions based on what’s best for their son and why you can’t live in the past if you want a happy divorce. Listen in for Nikki and Ben’s insight on owning your role in a breakup and learn how to facilitate your own happy divorce!
    Topics Covered
    How Ben & Nikki’s definition of a happy divorce has evolved over time
    What prompted Ben to give up trying to destroy Nikki and pursue a happy divorce
    Nikki’s experience at the end of her marriage to Ben
    Ben & Nikki’s advice for divorcing couples who are struggling with forgiveness
    Why Ben & Nikki had to forgive themselves first for the failure of their marriage
    Why former couples can’t live in the past if they want a happy divorce
    How Ben & Nikki make decisions based on what’s best for their son
    The long process it took for Ben & Nikki to build the relationship they have today
    Ben & Nikki’s principles of a happy divorce
    Forgive first
    Swallow the ego
    Be accountable
    Connect with Nikki DeBartolo & Benjamin Heldfond
    Our Happy Divorce: https://ourhappydivorce.com/
    Our Happy Divorce on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ourhappydivorce/?hl=en
    Our Happy Divorce on Twitter: https://twitter.com/OurHappyDivorce
    Our Happy Divorce on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ourhappydivorce/
    Our Happy Divorce Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/923343194711864/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    Resources
    Our Happy Divorce: How Ending Our Marriage Brought Us Closer Together by Nikki DeBartolo and Benjamin Heldfond: https://mascotbooks.com/mascot-marketplace/buy-books/nonfiction/self-help-diy/our-happy-divorce/
    26 min
  • How Substance Abuse Impacts Divorce with Aaron Thomas
    Substance abuse adds another layer of complexity to the divorce process. So, what do you need to consider if you’re divorcing an addict? And what if you’re struggling with alcoholism or drug abuse yourself?
    Attorney Aaron Thomas is the Founder of Aaron Thomas Law, a family law practice based in Atlanta, Georgia. Aaron began his legal career in 2002 as an in-house staff attorney for Habitat for Humanity International. He also served as a trial attorney in the Dekalb County Public Defender’s office for four years before starting his own practice and shifting his focus exclusively to family law in 2007.
    On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Aaron joins Katherine to discuss how substance abuse impacts the divorce process. He explains how drug addiction and alcoholism affect a judge’s decision-making around child custody, child support, division of assets and spousal support. Listen in to understand how Aaron handles a case differently when he represents the addicted party and learn what you should think about as the spouse of an addict considering divorce.
    Topics Covered
    Why substance abuse is rarely used as grounds for divorce even if that’s the issue
    How alcoholism and drug addiction impact child custody
    When (and why) a judge might award the addicted spouse a lesser share of the marital assets
    How Aaron handles a case differently when he represents the addicted party
    The trend toward seeing addiction as an illness vs. criminal activity
    Why it’s exceptionally challenging to represent the spouse of an addict
    The consequences of making your spouse’s addiction public in the divorce process
    Why a judge might base child support on the amount the addicted party SHOULD be making
    What a judge considers before awarding alimony to the addicted party
    Aaron’s advice to the spouse of an addict considering divorce
    Connect with Aaron Thomas
    Aaron Thomas Law: https://www.aaronthomaslaw.com/
    Connect with Katherine Miller
    The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
    Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
    Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
    The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
    Call (914) 738-7765
    25 min

About Divorce Dialogues

From the publisher's feed

Divorce Dialogues helps people navigate divorce with dignity, clarity, and perspective. Through thoughtful conversations with experts and practitioners, the show explores the emotional, financial, legal, and relational realities of divorce, so listeners can make better decisions, communicate more effectively, and move forward with greater confidence.