He came home from an AA meeting. The kids were gone. His wife was gone. Divorce papers were sitting on the counter.

And that was just the beginning.

In today's coaching episode, I'm talking with Onus bout what happens when:

• your nervous system lives on high alert,

• being misunderstood feels like a threat,

• anger shows up before vulnerability,

• and your relationships become a constant attempt to "earn" love… instead of receive it.

We get into disorganized / fearful-avoidant attachment, ADHD rage, the difference between uncomfortable vs unsafe, and why co-parenting trust can't be rebuilt on vague mind-reading rules.

If you've ever thought: "Why do I get so defensive?" "Why don't I trust good things?" "Why does being alone feel unbearable?" …this one is for you.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why "ethical non-monogamy" often becomes outsourced connection when there aren't real boundaries

• The real fear under defensiveness: "If I'm alone, I don't matter"

• Why yelling can feel normal to one person and unsafe to another (and what to do with that)

• A simple co-regulation tool to use mid-conflict

• The question that changes co-parenting dynamics: "What's the roadmap back to trust?"

• Why shame keeps you stuck and what accountability actually looks like

Your next step (if you want support): If you're a man trying to rebuild your emotional stability, relationships, and self-respect after divorce or heartbreak, my program Healthy Men-tality was built for this.

Learn more + apply: www.unblockyourbs.com/healthymen

And if you're not ready for that yet, start with one small thing today like downloading my free 5minute daily breathwork practice to take the edge off the intensity of your stress, anxiety, anger or fear… www.unblockyourbs.com/5minbreathwork

Connect with Tara:

• Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram
• @unblockyourbs on TikTok
• Watch the episodes on YouTube
• Join the Self Aware Army Healing Community
• Book a 1:1 call with Tara
• FREE 5-minute Breathwork Download
• Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit
• Apply to the Healthy Men-tality Men's Program
• Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE

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Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately.

The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.