Three kids unwittingly reanimate a mummy. Three adults throw around accusations of being worse than Pol Pot.

One of these is a summery of a Disney Channel Original Movie, the other is the garbage people who watch them. 

Maia and Adair embrace their inner camper and go back to Camp Rock for the sequel and more Jonas Brotherly Love.

Maia and Adair drink white wine and give Camp Rock the kind of fine tooth analysis that was never applied to the Jonas family purity.

Adair, Maia and their guests (David and Leah) form a four man crew to explore the intergalactic hit Zenon: Girl of 21st Century. The journey is fraught with danger, alcoholic (not) Tang, and maybe a rogue Anthony.  

The first episode of a scientific exploration of Disney Channel Original Movies starts not at the very beginning but with Brink, which is still a very good place to start. 

Meet Maia. Meet Adair. Get ready for them to take on (almost) every Disney Channel Original Movie from your childhood, reminding you why they were awesome, why they were awful, and why you should still be watching.