DNA Surprises

Race. Ethnicity. Heritage. These are complex topics without the added nuance of a DNA surprise. Author Janeen Jackson grew up with two younger brothers and her parents in an African American household. In this week’s episode, she shares how, through a DNA test, she not only learned that she is adopted, but that her biological father is a white man. 

Janeen discusses the complexities of navigating familial bonds, and her journey to acceptance and understanding. She also reveals the purpose behind her children’s book, Hello, Sweet Baby An Adoption Journey which helps children and adults navigate and understand the nuances of adoption and identity.

Thank you for sharing your story, Janeen.

Resources:

Hello, Sweet Baby An Adoption Journey

Blog: Mixed-Up Diary

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If there is one thing I hope we can all agree on, it’s that families come in all shapes and sizes. Many people with DNA surprises end up with two, three, or more fathers and just as many mothers, too. 

When Steve experienced his DNA surprise, he already had two men in his life that he called “Dad.” After he learned the truth about who his biological father is, he added a third to his list. In this week’s episode, Steve shares how he uncovered the truth. Trust me when I say, it’s an extremely unique story, and not much surprises me these days. 

Thank you for sharing your story, Steve.

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Most of the time, when I speak to people on the podcast, we learn that the reason they took the test was out of curiosity or for fun. Maybe they were given the DNA test as a gift from a friend or significant other. So imagine my surprise when I learned that this week’s guest was given her Ancestry DNA kit by her mother.

Welcome to Season 8 of DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, Julie shares how she uncovered the truth about her paternity after her mom gifted her a DNA test. She recalls her “party people” parents and a childhood spent around the world after they divorced and her mother remarried. As we often say on this podcast, DNA surprises can happen to anyone, of any background. From conservative upbringings to more unconventional lifestyles, there are no rules about who can be rocked by the shocking results of a DNA test.

Thank you for sharing your story, Julie.

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There is never a good time to discover that the man you’ve called “Dad” for your entire life isn’t biologically related to you, but I imagine that having this realization as he lays in a hospital bed, dying, must be among the worst.

In the season 7 finale of DNA Surprises, Dana Schmalenberg shares how she uncovered the truth that both of her parents held tightly until the day her father passed. She reveals the shocking truth about her biological father, a man who fathered 9 other children, many of whom share strange similarities.

She also reveals how her DNA discovery led her to a new career path, and why she created a new resource for her fellow NPEs. Thank you for sharing your story Dana.

Resources:

https://www.navigationalnarratives.com

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Many of us who have had DNA surprises spend some time wondering “What if?” What if we’d been raised in a different house, with our newly discovered biological parent? What if we’d known the truth from the beginning? What would our lives look like now? Would they be better? Or…would they be worse?

In this week’s episode, Lisa shares how she uncovered her shocking DNA surprise, learning that her biological father is her dad’s best friend. She shares how she’s built beautiful relationships with her newfound family, which has led to her wonder what life would have been like if she’d known them earlier. Ultimately, she reveals why she believes everything it happened as it should.

Thank you for sharing your story, Lisa.

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Picture this: you grow up with a sibling who is convinced they are not your dad’s biological child. No one knows about DNA surprises or NPEs or anything like that, but they just know their dad isn't THEIR dad. Years later, after commercial DNA testing becomes commonplace, you offer them some peace of mind. All of your siblings take a test to prove, once and for all, that your parents are the biological parents of all of your siblings.

Except…they aren’t. Only it’s not your sibling who is the NPE. It’s you. In this week’s episode, Pat shares how she learned in her sixties that she doesn’t share a biological father with her siblings. She discusses how she was able to piece together a story long after the main players have passed, and how she’s forged new relationships with found family.

Thank you for sharing your story, Pat.
Resources:

Who Even Am I Anymore?
DNAngels

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Secrets. Secrets are often at the beginning of a DNA surprise. But after the surprise is uncovered, is that the end of them? In this week’s episode, Ryan shares how on one fateful Thanksgiving, his mother confessed the truth about his paternity. When he spoke to his birth certificate father and his biological father, they both requested that he continue the secrecy.

Ryan discusses why keeping the secret is harmful to him and why he struggles with when to share his DNA surprise with others. He also shares how his DNA surprise affected his mental health and altered his identity.

Thank you for sharing your story, Ryan.

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Something that I’ve heard more than once on this podcast is a situation that goes something like this: people are having an argument. A mother and child. A husband and wife. Both parents with their child, or some other combination. And then, in the heat of the moment, someone reveals the truth. So and so isn’t your real dad anyway. 

And then, just as quickly as it was blurted out, it is taken back. Dismissed. Forgotten about or explained away for years, until decades later, a DNA test brings the truth to light. 

In this week’s episode, Jill shares her version of this story. Her story is ultimately one of resilience. From childhood abuse to cancer diagnoses to her NPE, she discusses the truth as she knows it, and how she emerged from her challenges with the goal to inspire others to persevere in the face of adversity.

Thank you, Jill, for sharing your story.

You can learn about Jill's memoirs and more at www.justbeingjill.com.

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Tina grew up believing that her biological father didn’t want to be part of her life. Imagine her shock when, after taking a DNA test, she found out that her biological father is someone else altogether. In this week’s episode, Tina shares how she found her biological father and then quickly lost him. She also reveals her family history of NPEs, including her own son.

Thank you for sharing your story, Tina.

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