When people experience DNA surprises, the range of emotions they feel can be wide. There’s sadness. There’s confusion. There’s happiness, sometimes. And often, there is anger. 

In this week’s episode, Aly shares how she felt when she learned that her birth certificate father isn’t her biological father and that she was born after a years-long affair between her mother and a colleague. She discusses how it’s been difficult to get the truth from her mother, how her relationship with her biological father isn’t want she hoped it would be, and how she discovered that her birth certificate father also knew the truth for decades.

Thank you, Aly, for sharing your story.

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Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA surprises. In this episode, I’m joined by Jennica Klemann, an Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Specialist and Arizona Licensed Massage Therapist. She specializes in a variety of losses including death, divorce, loss of health, child loss, pet loss, and complicated familial dynamics, just to name a few. Jennica is facilitating a session on grief at the DNA surprise retreat.

In this episode, we discuss the different kinds of grief, misconceptions about grief, and how we can begin to integrate grief into our lives. Grief is a huge part of the DNA surprise journey. I hope you find this information helpful.

Thanks again to Jennica for joining me. Jennica offers free consultations to anyone interested in doing grief work with her - visit griefreliefwithjennica.com for more information.

And if you’re interested in gaining some tools to work through grief loss in a space with people who have similar experiences, join us at the DNA Surprise Retreat - May 4-7 in Tucson, AZ.

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Sometimes DNA surprises aren’t surprising at all, but validating. 

In this week’s episode, Kim shares how she learned that after feeling different from her family her entire life, she is not genetically related to her raised father. She also learned that she isn’t white as she believed, but descends from a large Mexican family.

She shares how she’s processing her surprise and connecting with her family.

After my interview with Kim, she decided to turn her DNA surprise into support for others. At the end of the episode, we reconnect to discuss what’s changed for her and what’s she doing now.

Thanks again to Kim for sharing her story. If you’re interested in learning more about Kim’s work visit: kimmillertraumacoaching.com.

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Oftentimes in the DNA surprise community, one NPE leads to another. In this week’s episode, Scarlett shares how she learned she was an NPE, only to learn that the man her mother identified wasn’t her biological father, either.

She tells us about her tumultuous upbringing, how her relationship with her raised family and newfound family is progressing, and how she tackled processing her DNA surprise.

I spoke with Scarlett in July of last year, just a short time after her discovery in March. Stay tuned for an update from Scarlett at the end of the episode.

Thank you for sharing your story, Scarlett.

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One of the things people in the DNA surprise community contend with is that we’ll never have all of the answers to our questions.

In this week’s episode, Debra shares her story. She grew up with her mother and stepfather and was largely estranged from the man she believed to be her father. After reconnecting and building a relationship, she learned that the man on her birth certificate is not biologically related to her.

Debra shares how she uncovered the truth, what she’s learned so far, and how she’s moving forward without being able to get all of the answers.

Thank you for sharing your story, Debra. 

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In this very special bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I’m joined by Jennifer Spencer, who is facilitating a session on Radical Acceptance at the DNA Surprise Retreat. 

Jennifer is a licensed professional counselor who works with people who want to make lasting change for themselves to better their relationships, enjoy life, and make an overall life worth living. She specializes in DBT, CBT, ACT, and EMDR.

In our discussion, we chat about what Radical Acceptance is - and is not, and why it’s important in our DNA surprise journey.

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DNA surprises often shake the very core of what we believe our identities to be. In this week’s episode, Laurie shares how she went from believing she was the only child of two concentration camp survivors of the Holocaust to learning she is one of at least 6 siblings - half of whom were born as the result of assisted reproduction.

Laurie always knew her parents went to a fertility doctor but she had no idea that she was donor conceived. She shares how she learned of her donor conception, who she has connected with, and how this has changed her perspective on her parents and identity - in primarily positive ways.

Thank you for sharing your story, Laurie.

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This week’s story tells not one, but two, shocking DNA discoveries. Growing up, Phil believed that the parents who raised him were his biological parents. As a child, he learned that his biological mother abandoned him and he was raised by his stepmother. Decades later, he learned that his raised father isn’t his biological parent, either.

This episode contains references to suicide, child abuse, and child sexual abuse. If you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm, please call or text 988. If you are a victim of child sexual abuse, please call RAINN at 800-656-HOPE.

Thank you, Phil, for sharing your story.

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How would you feel if you learned that your biological father was a constant presence in your life, despite being raised under the belief that another man shared your DNA?

In this week’s episode, Shannon shares how she learned that her biological father was a longtime family friend who even taught her how to tie her shoes.

I spoke with Shannon just four months after her DNA surprise. She offers a fresh perspective on the immediate aftermath of a discovery, including what she’s doing to process and how she’s learning more about her newfound biological family.

Thank you for sharing your story, Shannon.
Resources (affiliate link):
Who Even Am I Anymore? 

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In this very special bonus episode of DNA Surprises, I’m joined by Megan Irwin, who will be facilitating a session on Trauma at the DNA Surprise Retreat. Megan is a licensed therapist specializing in grief and loss, trauma/PTSD, and associated challenges. She serves as a compassionate witness and guide for her clients’ healing and personal growth. 
Megan will facilitate a session called “Big T, Little t” on how DNA surprise traumas affect our bodies and minds. She’ll also empower us with tools to manage the big feelings we experience following our surprises.
In our conversation, we discuss what trauma is, why there are different labels for trauma, and recommendations for coping. She even shows me how to be more compassionate for myself in my own healing journey - we all have things to learn. 

Resources:
Right to Know
NPE Friends
MPE Counseling Collective
NAMI

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