Don't Go Outside

Want to hear Dean talk about his trip to New York? “Fuhgeddaboudit!” 

Want to hear Allen’s secret to making the perfect ‘slaw’? “Hey! I’m walking here!”

This episode has these, and other bits, cleverly edited together to make them sort of make sense. We’re talking parking ticket Hell, whale sperm theories de-bunked, and killer cartoon bears. Add to that Apocalypse Clowns, Killers of the Flower Moon and Steve Coogan’s creepy portrayal of TV paedophile Jimmy Savile and you’ve got yourself one spicy meatball!

So, pop in a pickled onion but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside! 

Birthdays are something to celebrate. Whether you go for a family meal, a classy wine tasting or a naked bungee jump in the Aldi carpark, they should be treasured. Especially when you get to the age of these three codgers. 

As Dean marks his milestone, we also hear of his interest, and complete bafflement, in the world of wine. What? How much? Why?

Pete tells of his first dining in the dark experience, Allen reveals his fear of “Mystery Meat”, and Dean enthralls with a truly horrible tale of aquatic love gone wrong. Oh, and there’s a bit about Stephen King in there as well. 

So, remember All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside!

“I’ll be back.” “Get to the chopper!” “I did not get my maid pregnant.” These are just a few quotes from arguably one of the greatest action stars, and indeed Arnolds, of all time…Schwarzenegger!

From his best bangers to his worst clangers, we hear the guys favourites and guilty pleasures. You know what they say…One man’s Terminator is another’s Jingle All The Way. 

Other topics covered may also include freakishly bendy elbows, orbs from down below and we ask…which Batman Villian would you hench for?

So, come with me if you want to live, but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside! 

We all love walking into our favourite pub. The friendly barman / woman pouring you a well-earned pint of your usual / small sherry, putting your favourite song on the jukebox, pig snacks in hand waiting for the wave machine to start. Bliss!

This episode sees the boys discuss their dream pubs, Armie Hammer, and waving Chinese bears. The perfect trio.

So, pour yourself a frosty one, settle in by the fire / karaoke machine, but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside!

This episode takes us to the land of the Pharaohs, the Great Pyramids…The home of the Mummy! What is an Egypt? We’ll find out.

In other matters, Allen suffers a dirty great spider bite, but unfortunately is not imbued with the super-powers of a spider…although he did get stuck in the bath for three days. 

So, brush the sand out of your Valley of the Kings, but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside! 

As Dean and Pete say goodbye to their long time top band Kiss (for the second time), and Allen laments on the demise of The Arctic Monkeys, our thought take a darker turn. We hark back to those late nights, many years ago, when your parents let you stay up past your bedtime to watch the Fright Night double bill. Whether it was Christopher Lee’s count that gave you the colly-wobbles, or Salem’s Lot’s Mr. Barlow that made you S you P’s, Vampires have always topped the movie monster polls. We sift through some of our favorites in this blood curdling episode.

So, lock your windows, grab your garlic and crucifix,  but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside!

Have ever had the feeling that you’re not alone? That someone might be listening in to your conversations? Ever wondered how you only have to mention to someone that you might be thinking of buying a new pair of trainers, only to find your social media feeds flooded with ads for shiny new sneakers?

Coincidence? Or could it be Alexa sitting over there…listening? 

As we grow ever more reliant on A.I and chatbots, are we ready for what’s to come? 

This, and many more inane topics are broached with a shocking disregard for research and detail in this latest episode.

So, all hail our robot overlords, but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside!

We all remember our first car. Whether it was a rusty old hand me down, or brand new straight of the garage forecourt, the bond with your first motor is one that you take to the grave. Unless you die in a fireball crash on the M6 motorway…then you can be forgiven if the relationship cools a little.

As Queen’s Roger Taylor once strangely sang…” I’m in love with my car”. But would he have loved it even more if he’d put rocket blasters and wings on it? You can bet your B****cks he would!

So, put you hands on your grease gun , but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside!

You can catch us on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher & Spotify so you can listen on all your usual podcast apps…Please like & subscribe! 

For some, school was an idyllic time, full of laughter, games and an enjoyable way to quench that never-ending thirst for knowledge. For others it was grim prison sentence, full of forgotten homework, painful wedgie’s and an unparalleled awkwardness around girls. Either way, it’s over now, so we can safely look back and ask those all important questions about things we just took for granted at the time. Like what the Hell were assemblies for? 

So, grab your homework diary , but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside!

You can catch us on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher & Spotify so you can listen on all your usual podcast apps…Please like & subscribe! 

As we creep every closer to our inevitable demise, let us reflect on what we have achieved. Some of us, I’m sure would have done great things, seen unimaginable sights, traveled the globe and will rest easy knowing that they have made the world a better place for those that follow.

And then there are the rest of us that have done pretty much sweet FA. Now might be a good time to change that. Perhaps.

So, fill up that bath of baked beans , but whatever you do…Don’t Go Outside!

You can catch us on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher & Spotify so you can listen on all your usual podcast apps…Please like & subscribe!