By Don't Tell Our Wives - Warm Beer & Cheap Comedy
The podcast currently has 105 episodes available.
In this episode, we go into the story of a man who messed with 'the champ' Mike Tyson. After harassing Mike Tyson several times, the heavyweight champion (and Nintendo punchout master), hit the man several times. If you're taking a discount flight, maybe you shouldn't do that...or throw a water bottle at a heavyweight champion. Consider Holyfielding as an alternative action.
The Honch wanted to take you on an adventure in the news world. A woman pulled 'her' penis out proceeded to use a wheel barrel (wheely bin) as a sex toy. The sex offender, lifted her skirt and exposed herself multiple times in public. Ultimately she got a 'custodial' sentence for using a trash bin to please herself.
As men in our 30's, there was an ongoing conversation about Cialus (known as boner pills in our group). A slight game of boner roulette is laying a bunch of pills out, and each person takes on until someone gets the erection pill.
There is a creepy cat on TikTok that has 700,000+ followers, with really big, creepy eyes. The cat was given the title of Mayor of the city of Hell, Michigan. For the low low price of $100, the cat was made mayor of the town.
In this installment of 'questions from Reddit', are you turned on by women more intelligent than you? The consensus from the group is yes. The Honch is looking for a sugar momma with a better job than him.
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In this episode, Honch avoids doing the intro for the show, but can't stand how the D does it. Also, quick note, apparently both the Bubba and Red are able to do Kermit the Frog impressions.
The Red drops it heavy out of the gate, with a trifecta of Florida man. The man Florida man is facing 8 felony charges. It all started when the man was kissing his stepsister, tackled his parents, and ultimately tried to get into a fight with the police. You guess in what order those things happened. Here's a clue: incest.
There is a very popular fast-food restaurant (Dairy Queen), where a lady gets ice cream from the 'Grill n Chill'. The lady handed the employee her credit/debit card, and the man took that card number and started racking up multiple OnlyFans accounts. Honch gives the 'tip of the week', where he shows you how to get away with it. Thanks, Honch, for your contribution to society.
There is a man in New York goes to the hospital after having issues. After taking several nasal drugs, doctors removed a tooth from the man's nose. How much money do you get for a nose tooth? It was .6 inches long (because of the root). No cavities were reported.
In another instance of Florida man gold, a man called 911 to have the police test his meth to see if he got messed up. Not to be confused with bath salts.
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In this episode, Honch makes visit the memories of D's vacation in a different way; have you ever been to Ireland? The D recently went there on vacation and loved it for a multitude of reasons. However, the Honch found the one really bad thing that happened while the D was visiting. Currently in Dublin, there is a ton of construction going on. There are several very tall cranes that dot the area. There was a construction worker who got in a heaping pile of trouble, when he was dropping large amounts of #2 from the crane...to the top of a building not far from the crane. Don't confuse any part of this story with the meteorite from the David Spade's movie classic "Joe Dirt".
Did you know there was a time where you could buy an unlimited eating pass at Six Flags for $150 bucks? A man spent YEARS going to Six Flags to use his entry to the park, and took advantage of the pass, eating everything that he could in sight. Do you think he over indulged and then challenged himself to keep it down during the rides at the park. After the organization noticed he was grossly taking advantage of this benefit, the company revoked the past. And cancelled the guys free meals. Fair?
THIS JUST IN: Don't google pegging. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. The Honch implied that this should be an activity for the D. DON'T DO IT.
Do you like pickles? So does the city of Portland, OR which has a team of pickles. The mascot of 'the pickle' has been stolen from the team, and they are in a desperate search for him. It's a really big 'dill', we mean, deal. While it is a discussion of the baseball team of Portland, the conversation from Honch turned really weird, as he has seen some really weird 'sex stuff' in Oregon.
In other news, a women in Arizona was surfing Craigslist to find a date, but not your average date. The woman was looking for a horse to have sex with. Disgusting? We thought so too. She has had multiple. Her username may or may not be Mr. Head (not to be confused with Mr. Ed). The police went undercover and busted the woman in a sting, and was obviously unable to get with a horse.
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The Honch loves Starbucks and he didn't really drink coffee all that much, now we're surprised that his daily order has become the most obnoxious thing every. Which is no surprise he wants to talk about it. However, Honch talks about a man who apparently wanted to give all of the patrons in the Starbucks extra cream.
The 27 year old man, a self described homeless model, was arrested after he was caught masturbating in the Starbucks. After calling the police, the man continued to "hammer one out" until police arrived at the scene, but not without trying to finish. He took 8 shots from the tazer. I guess that's how they do it in Miami.
In other news, Bubba made his way to the local grocery store, when he embarrassed himself. In the checkout lane, the lady was scanning his groceries and he was assisting, when he said that the barcode was in the patrons blind spot, when the lady informed him that she was indeed blind...what would you do in that scenario?
The Honch apparently wanted to talk about yoga pants. The Honch bought some yoga pants, and he apparently likes all of the "mouth hugs" on his you know what. If you feel compelled to send him some yoga pants, let us know. He really wants them.
We couldn't avoid talking about it....you know...the Academy Awards incident between Will Smith and Chris Rock. The Fresh Prince put fresh prints on the face of Chris Rock. Not a punch...a slap. While the Academy is working on ways to punish him, Will Smith did resign from the Academy. That said, would you sue him?
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Do you have a pets (ya know, dogs, cats, etc.)? If you answered yes, would you like to get paid to smell your dogs poop? A dog food company will pay you $6,000 to smell your dogs waste as they give you free dog food to test out how good their food is, which somehow the Honch connected this to wrestling. If you're looking to rake it in, the omni dog food company is willing to drop some deuce bills on you.
Honch's daughter got a vacation while the Honch and his wife were in Mexico. Now his daughter thinks that Disney is a really affordable with to see Mickey Mouse. That said, Honch uncovered the story of 2 sisters whom got completely drunk, and outside of one of the bars, they get into a full-on argument. The sisters attempted to get an Uber to get home, but it didn't quite pan out. When they told each other to sober up, they also couldn't get a taxi; which prompted both fist throwing and vomiting. According to the police report, the two sisters stood there and punched each other like rockem sockem robots.
Honch also takes us down memory lane, where he used to ICP (Insane Clown Posse), which is somehow a transition from the Disney story.
Ultimately, we called the night off with grosser than gross statements from the Bubba.
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In this week's episode, it has been 3 months since our last time together. We'll blame it on a post holiday food coma.
That said, with everything going on in the world, you can buy a perfume made by the Idaho Potato Commission, that smells like (you guessed it), French fries. We were going to send one you the limited edition fragrance, but alas, it was all sold out.
In other news, when asked whether or not he visits OnlyFans, Honch seemed to answer the question before the D asked it. After a quick recap to the ghost women of Honch's past, an Australian Only Fans creator has 2 vaginas and 2 wombs (after the V clarified that the womb and the uterus are the same). In her world, the woman recently announced that she is pregnant, but D is more concerned about the orientation.
Honch has a hard time remembering his news story. That said, he went to Cabo for vacation, because the Honch loves Mexico. He booked an all-inclusive, with all the food and all of the drinks. Everything was great until he got on the plane, and proceeded to get gassed by the old man next to him.
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In this week's episode, the Honch starts the show incredibly excited because Don Lemon is getting in trouble, and the Honch has apparently been waiting for years for this to happen. As it turns out, Lemon was at a bar in New York and got really drunk, and well, he sexually assaulted someone. He was 'America's Sweetheart' but probably not anymore after an aggressive ball rubbing.
In other news, Red is really afraid of Lady Elaine in Mr. Rogers.
A man in the UK (windsor) was out gardening, when an airplane emptied their waste tank, dumping poop down to the ground, where it hit a man out taking care of his garden.
For the low low price of $84,000, an artist gave a museum 2 blank canvasses instead of what he was supposed to do.
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We have a new cast member. Everyone will be introduced to 'Red'. Hard to tell if the carpet matches the drapes...but you do the math on that one.
Ironically enough, we do an unexpected shout out to Dave Chappelle (whom we love).
In Spokane, Washington's daily weather shoutout, they didn't realize that the entire 6 minute duration of the weather update, there was porn playing in the corner of the screen. RIP to the intern that made that mistake, which doesn't really matter because D's wife now watches porn..or maybe it was the weather. This doesn't top the existing record set by CNN for 30 minutes of porn, when it was supposed to be Anthony Bourdain.
After discussing weather porn, Red takes us to story time with discussing innapropriate movies that he accidentally plays on the plane, including Wolf of Wallstreet. In each of the cases, it would be lucky for him to get caught.
In California, a ninja (complete with a Katana) was at a California airport throwing rocks, breaking windows...when things went wrong. A military spec ops team was at the air port as well, and let's just say that they took care of him.
Fun fact: Direct descendants of hippos owned by Pablo Escobar before his death, have been classified as people. Yes, you read that right...hippos are people.
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In this week's episode, right out of the gate Honch finally becomes aware that Bubba looks just like Duff from Charm City Cakes, and we'll get some video over to Duff on Cameo soon. He might be the same person, but Bubba clearly wouldn't have the baking skills.
Would you take financial investing advice from a gerbil/hamster? (Are they the same thing). There is a gerbil that id probably crushing it with his Doge coin.
There is a woman who is currently suing Geico because she contracted HPV from a man in a car. The woman is claiming that because got an STD, her insurance is apparently responsible. We have declared B.S on that one.
Are you a fan of Jurassic Park? If you remember the main premise, a man wants to bring back dinosaurs from DNA. Well, as it turns out, we're not that far off. Scientists have decided to bring back the woolly mammoth by leveraging DNA samples that they have. They're really trying to get an animal that can survive -40 degree temperatures.
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Jethrow had some stuff happen awhile ago at work (Valentine's Day). There was a girl crying, and Jethrow speculates that it had to do with the fact that he was married. Jethrow never got clarification on that during their breakroom conversations.
Have you ever served a life sentence? A man served 40 years after robbing a local taco shop with a water pistol. Some beachgoers in Australia weren't following their curfew, when they were spooked by deer (or any animal...would do the same thing). The two naked men were in a bit of trouble.
Then..Honch pretty much obsesses over the olympics. Sort of.
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The podcast currently has 105 episodes available.