Don't Tell Our Wives: Warm Beer, Cheap Comedy, and News

Before we recorded this week's episode, Honch made everyone Chicken Schwarma and Gordy accidentally clogged the D's toilet with his meat poops.
And the kicker is that we forced him to talk about it after D's wife texted him to come up stairs and help out by finding a plunger.

A woman whose name is Amethyst fell in love with a ghost named Ray. Apparently they joined the mile high club on one of her flights. Well, things started going poorly and the woman believed that the ghost was distanced, and perhaps cheating on her. She called the wedding off. Gordy then takes the topic down into a completely different direction.

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In this episode, we start off our introductions as we always do, but this time, Honch threatened to take his shirt off with his Danny Devito grin. We always introduce Gordy as a character from a movie - Howard The Duck in this case.

Once we finally go to the news, Bubba took us down the rabbit hole on Subway in Ireland. In the country, the ratio of flour to sugar is apparently...important. The issue went all the way to the courts, where the bread at Subway is not legally bread. There are taxes that you would pay when you enter a certain category of food, and Subway has argued they don't belong. This quickly turned to the quest for cheap burgers...and then back to the 'tax refunds' for Subway. The lawsuit is apparently stressful for Bubba, because it is giving him a migraine headache. Maybe he's a little too carb loaded. When Honch worked at Subway, he had the nickname 'roast beast', and used to profile what sandwich someone would order based on who walked in the door. He then proceeded to give us the 'recipe' of the worst sandwich to order. Speaking of ordering, we learned that Gordy accidentally got 'free' coffee from one of the local chains, because he honestly thought it was free.

After discussing about all sorts of things, Honch wanted to give us all tips on dating rules around his daughter, including the only complement that he has ever said regarding his wife. He then gave us the rules for dating his daughter. Rule 1, his daughter is not an ATM, and isn't getting any money for the first date. Rule 2 - no sagging jeans allowed. Honch will provide help getting this back up. And....probably the most important. Sexting = death.

An Instagram model from Australia that dresses as cat woman...is thief. She was doing masked robberies, all while having a history of being a real estate agent. Over 2 years, she committed several crimes, which started out with the help of teenage kids to do the work, but she eventually got into the action. Her convictions included wielding a knife at a Target store.

To end it all, the night before recording this episode, Gordy was laying in bed with his wife. He was looking at pictures of hot dogs, when he got into an argument if it was a sandwich, and is chili soup?

Listen and Subscribe On:

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/id1355526064

Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/e381a44d-6804-4e4c-8a66-3f2bb8c95ea7/Dont-Tell-Our-Wives-Warm-Beer-Cheap-Comedy-and-News

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2PKE9J2XIDd13xsCzvu5EV

Google Play: https://podcasts.google.com/?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8xNjAwODIucnNz

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Pocket Cast: http://pca.st/itunes/1355526064

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We kick off this episode with a question for the audience. WHICH ONE OF US SOUNDS LIKE HOWARD STERN? Honch takes us on a lesson on 'what makes a man'. Apparently, no man buns, no skinny jeans, and no makeup are allowed to qualify. As for attitudes, any guy who is afraid to make a decision is not a man - or if all he does is make excuses.

Gordy takes us down the story of 'James'. James goes into the military, and is having relationship trouble. It started off light with a few escorts, gets injured, and then tries to transition back to his normal routine. After returning home, James seeks out his local friendly neighborhood hooker. He picks up a cougar on a dating website, and there are no photos. He finds a woman and it ends up being HIS BEST FRIEND'S MOM.

Bubba becomes an instant expert on his story coming out of the United Kingdom. At a local zoo, 5 African Gray parrots were put into isolation after they taught eachother how to swear at patrons in the zoo.

They are going to replace the toilet on the International Space Station...tune in so you can find out how much we paid for it. And by the way, it wasn't howard from Big Bang Theory putting it in.

Listen and Subscribe On:

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/id1355526064

Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/e381a44d-6804-4e4c-8a66-3f2bb8c95ea7/Dont-Tell-Our-Wives-Warm-Beer-Cheap-Comedy-and-News

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2PKE9J2XIDd13xsCzvu5EV

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iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/31084705

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Honch kicks us off with stories about him getting on planes again. When Honch went through security, he made observations of other individuals  and their crazy masks. Basically, Honch walks into a bathroom at 4:30 am in the morning, and it was a complete nightmare. After boarding, the man sitting next to him ate all his snacks and left him at the gate.

Gordy discusses a man in Lincoln, Nebraska that went up in front a bunch of a city council a true American hero, a true patriot if you will. He does not like the term boneless chicken wing. If you haven't seen the speech, you should check it out on YouTube or in your Facebook video feed! In the speech, her proposed removing boneless chicken wings from all menus, or renaming them.

Bubba then takes us on the 'pun intended' news headline adventure, calling out news titles across the globe.

We end the night with a man who ran around his house to get a fly, but ended up causing an explosion. 

Listen and Subscribe On:

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/id1355526064

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2PKE9J2XIDd13xsCzvu5EV

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Before each recording session, the team just sits around and talks. While discussing, D told us about the days of being in a band, eating breakfast before a show, which turns into a mess. Additionally, they discussed run-ins with an anarchist group who raised chickens and owned their own music venue.

Listen and Subscribe On:

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/id1355526064

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Pocket Cast: http://pca.st/itunes/1355526064

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We started this episode off as a complete train wreck. We were dertailed by the fact that Honch was wearing a holster that contained Texas Pete hot sauce. Yes, you heard that right. He litereally carries around a holster full of hot sauce. And by the way, this is our 69th episode.

Gordy starts us off with a 'birthday'. It is grandma's birthday, and the granddaughter of said grandma was feeling a bit riskay, looking for some solo-loving. She proceeds to purchase a vibrator/dildo, but she found out that it shipped to her grandmother's house and then handed off to her father. Since she didn't receive her package, Amazon proceeded to send another one to grandma. After facing the music during Christmas, her father proceeds to inform her to stop sending grandma sex toys.

Have you ever seen Iron Man in person? Not Robert Downey Jr. at the movie theater, but an actual Iron Man. At an airport, a man was spotted by multiple pilots, floating with a jetpack at approximately 3,000 ft. The FAA is currently investegating the near miss, as it could have caused dangerous scenario, but how do you get a jet pack?? Honch follows it up with his experience with a pilot talk. One that included several ways one could die.

What is your porn name? Not just the 'street name' and the basic porn name generator, but what would your porn name be?

Listen and Subscribe On:

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/id1355526064

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Honch is running for President. Not really, Honch has uncovered a news story about his future state. An old man has duped many women by posing online as both a young looking man and that man's father. He would post online to unsuspecting females, and then bait-and-switch them out to have sex with his older father, who faked that the man required sex to live.

Bubba closes out his 3 week segment of "1958 Dating Tips".

A nude man in Germany was hanging out at the beach, when he was approached by a wild boar. He was able to scare him off, and it is not the first time it has happened to the man and his friends.

In Japan, they have done something making it easier to see if a toilet has been used before you use it in Japan. That's right, the country has been unveiling toilets, where they are clear until someone sits on them. That means that you can see everything!

Listen and Subscribe On:

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/id1355526064

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In this week in Stupid, the Honch kicks us off quickly with a story about a man who went to a store, stole from it several times during the day, and then came back and ended up getting a job application after getting several 'free' pairs of sunglasses.

Bubba let's us know that if we're looking for a man, then we should order our steaks rare? These are some really bad dating tips from the 1958.

Gordy discusses an Amazon delivery driver that while leaving a package at a woman's home, a man ran from his van to her garden. While he wasn't stealing fire wood as suspected, the man was actually taking a dump on her property. Where do you go in-case of an emergency?

Have you ever had to put out a fire? What would you typically use? Well, a California man when dealing with the recent California fires, had to resort to something very unusual to put out his fire. Beer. Yes, that's right, BEER. After having exhausted other resources, the man used quite a few cans of Bud Light to put out a fire to protect his shop, and it actually worked!

Listen and Subscribe On:

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/id1355526064

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2PKE9J2XIDd13xsCzvu5EV

Google Play: https://podcasts.google.com/?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8xNjAwODIucnNz

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Every week, we introduce Gordy as a celebrity that he is not, and this week is he Balki from the classic TV show Perfect Strangers. Sorry for Honch's crunching on his 'Speedway" Baby Back Rib ruffled chips (not a paid placement).

Now on to the news, a restaurant in China has asked patrons to weigh themselves when they come in. When you enter the restaurant you do a weigh in, and based on your numbers you are suggested items to eat during your time there. Apparently this comes from the country's initiatives around food waste, but definitely fat shaming - which turns into a discussion around a group of guys on YouTube that do the 'all you can eat buffet' challenge - which you still pay top price in Las Vegas.

A man in Cleveland, Ohio when to a bank to rob it, and on his way there, grabbed something to write his note on. As it turns out, that note was written on DMV paperwork. The police showed up hours later...and it is all over. Then things go well...wrong-ish.

The 1950's have yielded some really weird things, especially dating tips for a woman to find a man. Bubba takes us down memory lane, divulging some of the worst dating tips we have ever heard, like tripping in public, getting lost at a football game, and widowers.

We end the episode with Gordy encountering a giant man on his mission to sell a used TV on Craigslist.

Listen and Subscribe On:

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/id1355526064

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2PKE9J2XIDd13xsCzvu5EV

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iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/31084705

Pocket Cast: http://pca.st/itunes/1355526064

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Castro: https://castro.fm/itunes/1355526064

Castbox: http://castbox.fm/vic/1355526064?ref=buzzsprout

RSS Feed: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/160082.rss

Gordy is out again this week, locked in a theater watching Pet Cemetary (just kidding). On this week's episode, we discuss a man named Malcolm McDonald, whom had a condition (which is really bad and sad). But what we're really struggling with is the fact that Doctors are having him grow his penis replacement on his arm. Aren't there other places to grow a new one?

Have you ever had something in your hand and set it down, and then wonder where you put it? In Walla Walla, Washington a state library was doing some cleaning during this whole COVID/Corona Virus thing, the library was removing shelving and items from the mystery section, where the found some beer and gum that was there for more than 30 years, which it was a 5 pack of Hamm's beer and Godzilla gum (looks like Big League Chew). Would you eat or drink it?

Are you up for a 18 Karat gold mask? If so, it'll cost you $1.5 million USD dollars....from an Israeli jeweler. The white gold mask will also include 3,600 white and black diamonds. We can't imagine someone walking around with this thing without getting robbed. The mask already has a buyer, and the buyer demanded it be the most expensive.

Listen and Subscribe On:

Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-tell-our-wives-warm-beer-and-cheap-comedy-and-news-ish/id1355526064

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2PKE9J2XIDd13xsCzvu5EV

Google Play: https://podcasts.google.com/?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5idXp6c3Byb3V0LmNvbS8xNjAwODIucnNz

iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/31084705

Pocket Cast: http://pca.st/itunes/1355526064

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=436282&refid=stpr

Castro: https://castro.fm/itunes/1355526064

Castbox: http://castbox.fm/vic/1355526064?ref=buzzsprout

RSS Feed: https://feeds.buzzsprout.com/160082.rss