It's finally Bonenzo time baby!! Even though the flashbacks are getting old we are happy with these! In the present day, Bonnie and Enzo reluctantly team up with Damon, who is desperate for Bonnie's forgiveness, to save Bonnies life. A proposed trade with Rayna leads to a vampire-killing montage, which might be a plot hole but what else is new. Meanwhile, Stefan reunites with Alaric, much to Alaric's chagrin, and calls him out on his sham of on engagement. But Alaric still wins in calling out Stefan and Caroline finally gets to diss Stefan. Finally, there's some damning timeline info and Grace stays on Julie Plec's neck about it!

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We are time jumped! Well, mostly. Damon and Valerie team up to stop Rayna from killing Stefan, but are each bad at it in their own ways - Damon spent three years desiccated, and Valerie spent three years lying! Nora and Mary Louise are finally released from their captivity in The Armory to capture Enzo, but it doesn’t end well for them; they get Shane’d, and then something even worse happens. In the commotion, Enzo learns that Matt has some grudge against Stefan (and a dead girlfriend), and that Bonnie may have been poisoned. Finally, we end the episode with a bang - literally - as the Phoenix Stone explodes JUST after Stefan is put back in. 

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Stefan remains in danger and Damon is determined to fix it so he can pursue his true passion, going to sleep! Stefan and dumbass Valerie are on the road looking for herbs, and Valerie continues to be rude and bad for Stefan! Caroline and Alaric settle in in Dallas, while Steroline falls apart a little more every day. Bonnie and Enzo are together at the armory, and Bonnie finally gets enough information about Rayna to stop a catastrophic mistake. Damon n kinda solves the Rayna problem, but not really, and proceeds to let his friends and brother down, but maybe redeems himself in the time jump?

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You've heard us reference PLL constantly, time to share our opinions! We rank the liars, the As, share some of our favorite moments, and of course engage in some lively debate even if we do actually agree. Enjoy this not-so-mini-sode!

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It’s a week of road trips! Stefan heads down to New Orleans for protection and runs into former bestie Klaus! Meanwhile, Caroline and Ric take a road trip down to Dallas with their brand new babies. And Bonnie and Damon come upon Enzo’s new workplace/family, which we finally learn is called The Armory. While at The Armory, Damon goes head-to-head with a comatose and then transitioning Tyler. Bonnie attempts to protect Damon, which makes Enzo jealous and puts her in danger. At the end of the episode, the time jump seems nigh, as Damon soft-launches the idea of desiccating. 

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The theme of this week: nobody moved. We finally get a death we’ve been waiting for, but we can barely appreciate it because we’re so tired of the character. And speaking of tired, one of our main conflicts this week is a tired fight club trope - oh brother. Elsewhere, Bonnie, Nora, and Mary louise search for Rayna Cruz (the huntress we’ve been hearing so much about) but find a seemingly sweet old lady. Also there: Enzo, now working for a mysterious organization. Also, Caroline’s babies are siphons hungry for vampire magic, causing a teeny weeny desiccation problem. Finally, Matt tells Penny about vampires - I guess he needs a girlfriend too. 

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Stefan and Damon are both out of the Phoenix/hell stone so time to reintegrate into society. Society, unfortunately, includes Julian leading a biker gang in Mystic Falls and a whole bunch of hallucinations. Stefan is watching over Damon, even though his struggles have not ended, and Damon is just at the start of a bad day. Meanwhile, Caroline and Alaric have a baby shower with Bonnie, Tyler, and Matt, ending with Matt getting pulled over by a potential love interest, and Tyler getting roped into Damon drama. Alaric makes plans to get away from vampires, Stefan gets terrorized by Julian and that old safe, and even Elena can’t escape Damon’s self destructive streak.

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