Timestamps

01:21 What is discipline?

03:11 How to step away from punishment

04:17 Put yourself inside their experience

04:45 Children are normal in the way they present themselves

05:20 Parents struggle to see their children neutrally 

06:27 Our children invite us to grow ourselves up so that we can grow them up

07:43 Central developmental realities

08:43 Emergent phase 

09:51 QTIP - Quit Taking It Personally

12:00 Adaptive

12:41 Adaptive = vulnerable 

13:10   Point of connection creates context to parent

14:30   Firm & kind

14:45 The Parenting Mountain

18:40   Working on ourselves

19:30   Connection

21:23 Toddlers who bite

21:55 Flag drop

23:45 Do we need to deal with the problem immediately?

28:45 Techniques 

29:05 We cannot control a child who has lost control of themselves

31:05 Give in & come alongside 

32:25 Children are human beings

33:20 Do children understand their emotions?

36:14   What do parents do with themselves?

36:51 We have to be self full in order to be selfless 

39:45 Self care is not about going and getting a massage

40:50   Psychological distance

42:26 We were never meant to go this alone

44:30 Take home message - The bottom line is relationship

Dr. Vanessa LaPointe

Dr. Vanessa LaPointe is a mom, registered psychologist, parenting educator, best-selling author, international speaker, and a regularly invited media guest. Founder and director of The Wishing Star Lapointe Developmental Clinic, she has been supporting families and children for almost 20 years, and has previous experience in community mental health and the school system.

Dr. Vanessa is known for bringing a sense of nurturing understanding and humanity to all of her work. Her passion is in walking alongside parents, teachers, care providers, and other big people to really see the world through the child’s eyes. She believes that if we can do this, we are beautifully positioned to grow up our children in the best possible way.

Discipline without Damage 

When your child is threatening a meltdown in the grocery aisle, is it really possible to keep your cool, correct the behaviour, and reinforce healthy development, all at the same time? In this easy-to-read, science-based book, parents, caregivers, and big people of all kinds will discover how discipline affects children’s development, why intervention should reinforce connection, not separation, and why the disciplinary strategies that may have been used on us as children are not the ones that children really need.

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