Dump Stats

Tonight on Dump Stats... Part I of our epic two part season finale will leave you with dragons in your dungeons and pee in your pants! Excessive hyperbole aside, we have a very exciting episode for you. 

When we last left our adventurers, Jurm and Billings had walked right into Governor Delgado's trap, Nathaniel (with help from Alan Davenport) had a run in with some city guard at the docks, and Nero was being hounded by Rax's chaotic dreamscape and annoyed by his father's sudden enthusiasm for adventure! Picking up new crew members Dash, Sneak and Eldeth Ghoram Smashington, the Bad Humanoids have got their work cut out for them if they ever hope to escape this island...

Thank you all for listening to North Carolina's favorite Dungeons & Dragon's podcast! Technically, we play Pathfinder, but we also bend the rules a lot!

Tonight on Dump Stats...

After escaping the flaming blacksmith shop, the Bad Humanoids say goodbye to Jurm's Crazy Arms. Fleeing the town guard, our heroes plus Stellan and Gyro make for the docks on the north end of Isla Norte. Jurm gives a heartfelt speech to his old crew and convinces them to rescue his former captain and suspected father James T. Crowley before he can be executed for piracy. All they need now is a plan! Enter Rockwell "Billings" Smashington, the former blacksmith, and his ship the Drake's Sigh...Drake's Eye? Drake's Sigh. Whatever. It might fly, but who knows? This dwarf loves mystery as much as Alan Davenport hates mustard! 

Thank you all for listening to North Carolina's favorite Dungeons & Dragon's podcast! Technically, we play Pathfinder, but we also bend the rules a lot!

Welcome back to Dump Stats, North Carolina's own Dungeons and Dragons actual play podcast. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day! Show us how much you love us by listening, liking and subscribing!

We last left our adventurers trapped inside of a blacksmith shop as the City Guard surrounds them. In a strange turn of events, Jurm has talked his way out of trouble, while Nathaniel faces off against the Captain of the Guard and Nero bumbles through numerous stealth attempts ending in a swarm of mischievous monkeys pouring out of the halfling's mouth and attacking a platoon of guards. Now, with mayhem afoot, the crew must make a daring escape and get to the docks by midnight. How long can the Bad Humanoids keep this up? Will they escape the island? Will the mysteries of the island ever be revealed? Or will we pull a J.J. Abrams on you all? If so, will we ever get away with it?

Only one way to find out! Keep listening to Dump Stats!

Tonight on Dump Stats...

Twas the night before Voskañar and all through the shoppe,

The Bad Humanoids were hiding and lying to cops,

Jurm flew off the handle and told a big lie,

"Yes, and..." said Nathaniel, he's such a good guy!

While Stellan and Gyro escaped out the back, 

Nero tried stealthing and fell with a CRACK!

Down in the basement, Nathaniel is trapped,

While the guards in the alley cut Nero no slack,

When what to our wondering ears did appear,

But a peck of Mad Monkeys spouting nonsense and jeers!

Roll your initiative, hold on to your hats,

Will the Bad Humanoids keep rolling nats?

...Find out tonight, on an all new Dump Stats!

Tonight on Dump Stats...

The Bad Humanoids go back to the future...or present? Whatever. They are back FROM the past and are laying low at Jurm's Crazy Arms discussing their next move. What are the consequences of their meddling in time? Has anyone noticed their crimes? Is Billings still locked in the basement? Will Rob, John, Mike and Bob finally win Dungeons and Dragons? Who knows?

Decide for yourself on a brand new Dump Stats!!

The gripping conclusion to the time traveling misadventures of the Bad Humanoids!

While Nathaniel and Jurm botch their deal with Billings the blacksmith, Stellan and Nero seek out Nero's father Gyro Gamwich. Along the way, Nero learns about the severe and deadly consequences of meddling with time and Chronopathy magic. The gang sees an old friend, and experiences some deja vu while they attempt to set things straight with the space-time continuum.

All this plus the usual hijinx on this episode of Dump Stats!

The Bad Humanoids go back in time! Sort of. After devising a plan to escape the Mage's College by sea, our heroes realize that they don't have a ship! Nathaniel and Jurm will have to travel through time to retrieve the stolen deed to their stolen ship, all while trying to outsmart the Dwarf blacksmith Billings. Meanwhile, Nero and Stellan make for the local hotel to save Nero's father Gyro Gamwich from any unwanted legal consequences. Will our heroes succeed? Or will they create a hole in the space-time continuum and unmake all of existence? Find out on thig brand new episode of Dump Stats!

The Bad Humanoids successfully elude capture after fleeing the massacre at the Grand Archives. Nathaniel, as Alan Davenport, discovers an otherworldly link between Nero's Bag of Holding and the Bad Humanoids' apartment. After conversing briefly with the Ghost of Dogshits Past, the gang discovers a whole new problem hidden in the magical pockets of the mysterious bag. A problem of the dead variety. What to do? Who knows? Time travel? Maybe. Find out on this episode of Dump Stats!

Also, sorry about technical difficulties the last few weeks. We've worked out the problem and will be back on schedule! Thank you everyone for your continued support!

Putting episode 22 of Dump Stats back up after a few technical issues led to some faulty files and out of order uploads and whatnot.

I also lost that awesome description from last time, wherein it was revealed the Dump Stats universe takes place inside Terry Crews's left pectoral muscle, after he flexed it too hard and turned inward on himself while chopping down a tree for firewood for his family, whose house was too cold during a blizzard and the heat went out. Jimmith the Mage lost his inheritance on a faulty bag of fluffy dust, which enraged the spirit of his grandfather, who began haunting Jimmith. His spirit was released from the tree Terry Crews chopped down. And, where is Billy "Billie Jean" Gene in all this? Is he the one pulling the levers?

HEY LOOK AT THAT! I pretty much remembered it. I guess it's hard to forget that type of genius.

Welcome to a new episode of Dump Stats!

While the world of make believe may be full of wizard houses and gang activity (has anyone alerted Donald Trump? We hear he's deporting anyone involved in gang activity), the real world is full of depressing elections and financial database hacking at Target that disconnects payment accounts and diverts money to oppressive regimes in Chechnya.

One election, one new card, and a week of depression later, we're back! And this time, we're finally getting into some plot! Sort of.

The Bad Humanoids found a crazy sentient book and its been very persuasive. Now its time to get some answers! The gang plans a raid on the Grand Archive at the Mage's College and unfortunately recruits one of the boys from Wizard House to help them out.

Things are about to get real on this episode of Dump Stats!