Let's chat about the HARD things in life.

Living with a chronic illness is HARD especially one that is RARE, MISUNDERSTOOD and not properly treated.

My first husband died tragically on June 16, 2000.

He was 26. I was 24. Married 9 months 5 days. 8 weeks pregnant.

Our families found out I was pregnant when he died.

It was Father's Day weekend in 2000.

HARD....is having your doorbell ring and being told your husband is dead.

HARD... is giving birth alone and scared.

HARD...is the intense soul-ripping pain of grief.

The other night I had a funeral visitation for a sweet 95-year-old beam of light.

She was like a grandmother to my first husband.

Visitation was at the funeral home where my first husband’s funeral was.

I could see him. Feel him. Remember him. The crowd. The sounds. The chaos. My flower skirt and blue top. THE DANCE is playing by Garth Brooks. The colour of the sky. His cowboy hat is on the casket. The last goodbye. Watching his friends carry is casket. The ride to the cemetery. The pain of walking away and leaving him there.

OUR son was with me. He looks like his dad. People shared memories of his Dad with him. It broke me in pieces knowing they never met. I shared with him moments I remember from the funeral.

I fought and survived. I know that I can overcome any obstacle in front of me.

Losing him was hard. Returning to the funeral home was hard.

But it reminded me of my blessings.

What you do is your choice.

I had no choice 23 years ago in death.

And then I had a choice 23 years ago in death.

I had no choice 13 years ago in illness.

And then I had a choice 13 years ago in illness.

I continue to fight. Anything you want in life is worth fighting for.

In his death, he taught me how to fight.

I continue to fight.

DEATH is hard. CHRONIC ILLNESS is hard.

Taking care of YOU.....makes the HARD less HARD.

Growing old is a blessing. Second chances are a blessing.

I chose to fight.

I chose to fight.

In his death, he gave me life.

YOU ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR.

But you have a choice!

I KNOW HARD but I am a fighter and so are you!