Grief Grower

E36: "Don't Speak Ill of the Dead" Is B.S.—Why This Phrase Is Harmful to Grievers


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You've probably heard the phrase "don't speak ill of the dead"—but what if the person who died hurt you? I'm breaking down how this common advice silences survivors, protects harmful legacies, and makes grief harder for people with complicated losses.

You'll learn:

  • Why "don't speak ill of the dead" is outdated, harmful advice

  • How this phrase impacts survivors of abuse, estrangement, or neglect

  • Three real examples of truth-telling obituaries and what they reveal

  • What to say when someone tries to silence your grief

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Join me LIVE in LA (November) and Ohio (December): https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

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Grief GrowerBy Shelby Forsythia

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