When you love someone through a long illness, grief comes long before death does. Today, therapist and widower Gordon Brewer shares what 13 years of caregiving, anticipatory grief, and loss taught him—including why men often struggle most with the parts of caregiving they can never fix.

You'll learn:

• Why caregiving can feel like continual surrender—especially for men socialized to protect and fix
• What anticipatory grief actually looks like from inside a long-term illness
• How being a grief professional doesn't protect you from the pain of personal loss
• How faith, spirituality, and your relationship with god can change with grief
• What to do when grief unexpectedly pops up—and how to "ride the waves"

Learn more about Gordon and listen to his podcast The Practice of Therapy: https://practiceoftherapy.com/

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

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Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

In this special "Supporting Someone" episode, you'll hear the live recording of my author talk from the Of Course I'm Here Right Now book launch party in Chicago—a practical, story-driven breakdown of three phrases that help supporters show up for grieving people with confidence and care.

You'll learn:

• Why grieving people tell themselves three core stories—"I'm crazy," "I'm alone," and "My life will be like this forever"—and how those stories shape their relationships and sense of self
• Why words are the most powerful free grief support tool available to anyone, regardless of money, time, or emotional bandwidth
• How three simple phrases—"Of course," "I'm here," and "Right now"—each interrupt one of those painful stories
• How to use these phrases across any type of loss, any time frame, and any medium—from sympathy cards to text messages sent years after the loss

Watch the launch party on YouTube: https://youtu.be/YU3Yg1ON2Ik

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

RSVP to upcoming online events in April: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events ...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Secondary losses are the ripple effects that follow a major loss—and naming them can be one of the most validating things you do for yourself in grief. I'm breaking down what secondary losses are, sharing real examples, and walking you through a simple three-part framework for identifying and processing yours.

You'll learn:

• The difference between a primary loss and a secondary loss—and why both deserve to be grieved
• How to identify your own secondary losses using my Immediate, Gradual, and Surprise framework
• Why secondary losses are a sign of significance—not excessive grief
• Four practical ways to grieve your secondary losses with compassion and intention

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

RSVP to upcoming online events in April: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events ...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Getting support is important after loss, but it can feel hard to ask for it. Today, I'm sharing seven practical, gentle ways to ask for help after loss—especially when your energy is low and even naming what you need feels overwhelming. I'll talk about how to get support with both the logistics of daily life and the emotional weight of grief.

You'll learn:

• The difference between needing help living vs. help grieving—and why it matters
• How to ask for specific, tangible support without overexplaining yourself
• Simple ways to invite others into remembering and honoring your person or loss
• How to make asking for help feel more doable on low-energy days
• Where to go for more hands-on support if you're in crisis

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

RSVP to upcoming online events in April: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events ...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

In this unedited, in-the-moment episode of Grief Grower, I'm unboxing my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now and sharing what it's about, who it's for, and why words matter so much in grief. You'll also hear a short excerpt from the introduction.

You'll hear:

• Why this book isn't a memoir—but a practical guide for what to say to someone grieving
• The three phrases at the heart of the book: "of course," "I'm here," and "right now"
• Why words are one of the most powerful (and free) grief support tools we have
• A live reading from the introduction of the book

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club:https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

If you've ever wondered what to say to someone grieving—or worried about saying the wrong thing—this episode will help you understand why words matter more than you think, get helpful scripts to say after any kind of loss, and learn how to use words to support someone with care and confidence.

You'll learn:

• Why "I don't know what to say" is such a common response to grief

• What happens when grief is met with silence or clichés

• Why words don't fix grief—but instead help people carry it

• Simple, grounding phrases you can use right away

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club:https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Grief doesn't come with built-in reason or purpose, and it definitely doesn't follow a straight line! In this conversation with therapist and author Alex Mammadyarov, we explore what it actually looks like to grow through grief in real life—not in theory.

Together, we explore:

• Why "everything happens for a reason" can feel invalidating—and what to focus on instead
• Why it's actually a good sign when grief waves appear (even years later)
• The difference between "staying busy" and truly re-entering the world after loss
• Why taking micro-steps like changing clothes, checking the mail, or taking a short walk can help you return to life again
• Alex's simple, honest rhythm for growth: live, grieve, rest, repeat

Learn more about Alex and get your copy of Growing Through Grief: https://alexmammadyarov.com/

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club:https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Learn six powerful ways your words can support someone who is grieving using the SCRABL structure from my new book Of Course I'm Here Right Now. If you've ever worried about saying the wrong thing, you'll gain a deeper understanding of why words matter—plus simple, meaningful scripts you can use right away.

You'll learn:

• The six roles words play in supporting someone who is grieving (SCRABL)

• Why words matter more than "doing the right thing" after a loss

• Simple, compassionate scripts you can use immediately

• How to feel more confident showing up for grieving friends, family members, coworkers, and even strangers

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club:https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Grief rarely gets better all at once, but there are quiet, meaningful signs that it's shifting. This "Ask Shelby" episode answers a question many grieving people carry: How will I know I'm going to be okay? You'll hear five real-life indicators of healing, plus reflection questions to help you see your own growth.

You'll hear:

• How to recognize signs you're healing from grief

• What "being okay" actually looks like after loss

• How to carry your loss while rebuilding life after loss

• Reflection questions to help you assess where you are now

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club:https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

If you've been told to "find closure" after a loss, you're not alone—but that advice may be doing you more harm than good. Closure in grief is often treated as the ultimate goal of healing, yet many grieving people find it impossible—or even undesirable. I agree with them!

You'll learn:

• Why closure is an unhelpful goal in grief

• What "closure after death" really implies—and why it falls short of what many grievers want

• The psychology behind continuing bonds and integration

• How to heal without leaving a loved one, a relationship, or a part of yourself behind

• What to seek instead of closure when rebuilding life after loss

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club: https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast