Grief Grower

If grief has hit you out of nowhere months or years after a loss, you might be wondering if something's wrong with you—or if you're somehow going backwards in life after loss. Feeling grief much later than you wanted or expected is a common experience called delayed grief! In this episode, I'm outlining what delayed grief is, why it's normal, and why many of us can't deeply grieve a death, divorce, diagnosis, or major life change until we feel safe and slowed down enough to do it. I'll also answer common questions about delayed grief, share plus permission slips for feeling "behind" in life after loss, and give you four practical ways to make time for grief when you're ready.

You'll learn:

• The difference between delayed, absent, and complicated grief

• Why grief waits until you feel safe and slowed down to show up

• What causes delayed grief to surface years later

• How the dual-process model shows you've been grieving all along, even if it hasn't felt that way

• Permission slips and four ways to make time to grieve

Take my free 2-minute quiz to see if Life After Loss Academy is right for you: https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/66d9d6ed60643d001527c51a

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Have you ever typed out a text to someone grieving, deleted it, and then said nothing at all because a text felt too small for something so big? Today, I'm outlining 45 texts to send someone who lost a loved one: right after a death, a few months later, around the one-year mark, and years down the road. I'll also share my two golden rules for checking in on someone after any kind of loss, with each message drawing on the three phrases from my new book Of Course I'm Here Right Now.

You'll learn:

• Why a text is never too small to support someone grieving
• The two golden rules for what to say to someone who lost a loved one
• What to text right after a death, months later, and years down the road
• How to adjust your message for a best friend, coworker, or acquaintance
• How to text someone after a divorce, diagnosis, pet loss, or other non-death loss

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Grief and money are tangled up together, and under capitalism, the cost of support is one of the biggest barriers grievers face when it comes to getting help. Today, I'm diving into the sticky, uncomfortable intersection of grief, money, and capitalism, including what happens when the price tag on support becomes the very thing standing between you and getting it.

You'll learn:

• What capitalism is and what getting help looks like inside of it—whether you're a griever or a grief professional
• Why grief support so often comes with a price tag
• Why losing support or being unable to access it due to money is a valid loss worth grieving
• What ethical grief professionals owe you if you're no longer able to afford working with them
• Red flags to watch for when choosing a therapist, coach, or other grief professional
• Where to find free or low-cost grief support

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Do you feel like your breakup or divorce isn't really worth grieving because "no one died"? This episode is for you. Today, I'm sitting down with breakup coach Kendra Allen to talk about why breakups are absolutely a grief event, even though the person you lost is still alive. We're unpacking what makes relationship loss so uniquely painful, what healing looks like, and how to be a better breakup bestie to the people in your life who are grieving.

You'll learn:

• Why breakups deserve to be grieved just like any other major loss
• What makes relationship grief different from death grief
• How shame, aftershocks, and identity loss show up after a breakup
• What healing from a breakup actually looks like (hint: it's not closure)
• How to support a friend or family member through a breakup without rushing them to move on or feel better

Learn more about Kendra's work and get support from Breakup Bestie podcasts, courses, and workbooks: https://www.breakupbestie.com/

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

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Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Grief dates like death days, birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, and other loss-related days can bring a sense of heaviness and dread to the calendar. And if you're like many grievers, you might be wondering, "What exactly do I DO on a grief anniversary?" In this episode, I'm sharing the five types of grief dates you might be carrying, and six meaningful ways to honor one—plus helpful ways to scale your chosen ritual up or down depending on how much time or energy you have that year.

You'll learn:

• What a grief date is and the five types most grievers carry
• Six simple, doable rituals for honoring a grief or death anniversary
• How to adjust any ritual depending on your energy that year

Get the Printable Grief Dates Calendar PDF: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/store/p/printable-grief-dates-calendar

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

...

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Loss can shake your entire sense of meaning and purpose—especially when the identity, role, or "why" that used to get you up in the morning morning is gone. Today I'm answering a griever's question about finding purpose again after loss and sharing a simple tool for experimenting with new meaning without any pressure to get it right.

You'll learn:

• Why loss changes your relationship with meaning and purpose, not just your daily life
• A helpful "maybe and perhaps" tool for experimenting with new meanings without committing to them
• Why meaning after loss can be good, bad, or neutral—and why all three are normal
• Why believing you manifested your loss isn't true, and where that belief comes from
• Why no one else, no matter how well-meaning, can make meaning for you

Watch my free Grow Through Grief workshop to get two more helpful tools for rebuilding after loss: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/free-workshop

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Grief doesn't just change you—it changes your friendships too. Today, I'm outlining eight common reasons relationships fracture after loss, plus how to renegotiate connections so they can hold both you and your grief. And, if you're a supporter, I'll share easy, actionable ways to show up without your grieving friend having to reach out first.

You'll learn:

• Why loss creates a gap between grievers and the people who haven't experienced loss ye

• How the "Hidden Grief Clock" and grief comparison quietly strain relationships

• Why it's usually up to grievers to teach others how to show up for them

• How to start setting boundaries and asking for the support you actually need

• What it looks like to be a good friend to someone who's grieving

Take my free two-minute quiz to see if Life After Loss Academy is right for you: https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/66d9d6ed60643d001527c51a

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

After a loss, it's common to criticize yourself for crying too much, forgetting things, or not functioning like you used to. Today I'm teaching one of my students' favorite tools for building instant self-compassion: a simple two-word phrase you can add to anything you're doing throughout your day.

You'll learn:

• The difference between critical and compassionate self-talk after loss
• A simple two-word phrase that instantly softens how you speak to yourself
• The psychology behind why this small linguistic shift actually works
• How this tool fits into the bigger practice of integrating loss into your life

Watch my free Grow Through Grief workshop to get two more helpful tools for rebuilding after loss: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/free-workshop

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Talking about death, dementia, and end-of-life wishes can feel impossible, until you have the right tools to start. Today I'm joined by Lisa Pahl, owner and co-creator of the Death Deck, the End of Life Deck, and the Dementia Deck, to talk about why these conversations matter and how to actually start having them with the people you love.

You'll learn:

• Why avoiding hard conversations about death and dying doesn't mean you've failed
• How to introduce a hard topic to family or friends who typically avoid it
• What questions can help you understand what someone would want at the end of their life
• Why the person you'd trust most with your final wishes might not be who you expect
• How identifying as a learner, not an expert, can change the way you approach grief and death

Learn more about all three of Lisa's conversation decks and get 20% off your purchase with code GRIEF20: https://thedeathdeck.com/collections/shop-all-decks

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Anger is one of the most common—and misunderstood—emotions in grief. I'm outlining why anger doesn't have to make sense to be valid, how anger is perceived differently depending on who you are and how you show up in the world, and three practical tools to help you work with your anger instead of fighting it.

You'll learn:

• Why anger doesn't need to be logical or justified to be real
• How anger lives on a spectrum, from micro irritation to full-blown rage
• How anger is perceived and treated differently depending on your gender, culture, age, and identity
• Three helpful tools for coping with anger after loss
• Why anger deserves a place in your grief, not judgment or shame

Take my free two-minute quiz to see if Life After Loss Academy is right for you: https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/66d9d6ed60643d001527c51a

Get my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast