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I sit down with poet, therapist, and author Sara Rian to talk about the day her world changed. Sara's mom, Susan, died by suicide in July 2018 when Sara was just 28, and this conversation goes straight into the parts of grief after suicide loss that so many of us are afraid to say out loud.

We talk about what it's really like in those first immobilizing weeks. The police calls, the organ donation decision, planning a funeral while still in shock, and more.

Sara opens up about the anger she felt, not at her mom, but at a world that felt unsafe, and the guilt that lingered long after. She also shares how her mother's earlier suicide attempts throughout her childhood shaped an anxious attachment and a belief that her mom simply "couldn't" die.

This episode is also a love letter to healing tools that actually work. Sara talks about what saved her life: therapy, suicide-loss support groups, community, and writing "Insta poetry" starting just days after her mom died. She's since written seven books. We also get into how becoming a mom herself unlocked a whole new layer of grief she wasn't expecting.

✨ Why the early days after a suicide loss can feel physically immobilizing
✨ Navigating police involvement, organ donation calls, and funeral planning in real time
✨ Why Sara's anger was directed at the world, not her mother
✨ How childhood exposure to suicide attempts shapes anxious attachment
✨ The lifesaving role of therapy, support groups, and community after suicide loss
✨ How writing poetry within days of loss became a form of survival
✨ Becoming a mother without her own mom, and the grief that surfaced

If you've lost someone to suicide, or you love someone who has, this episode will help you feel less alone in it.

Connect with Sara:
🔗 https://www.sararianbooks.com/
🔗 https://www.instagram.com/sara_rian_books/

Learn more about Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the show

NEW! Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcast

📖 Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/

Connect with me:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains
• Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
• Work with me one-on-one: https://lossesbecomegains.com/work-with-tara
• Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal
  
  

By accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational ...

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This week's episode is a little different! Instead of my usual conversation, I'm leaving you with something to hold onto while I'm away.

I'm off exploring Sicily with my husband and daughter, and it got me thinking about how loaded it can feel to want new experiences after loss—especially places or plans you once imagined sharing with the person you lost. So instead of a regular episode, I recorded a quick guided meditation on giving yourself permission to explore again.

This meditation speaks to:
✨ Why wanting new things after loss doesn't mean you're leaving your person behind
✨ A grounding practice to help you notice—without judgment—what you're actually curious about
✨ Why "I'm allowed to want this" might be the hardest and most healing sentence you say all week
✨ A gentle reminder that this might not be where you are yet, and that's okay too
✨ One small, low-stakes way to start exploring your own curiosity this week

If you've been feeling that quiet pull toward more—toward trying something new, going somewhere, wanting things again—this meditation is for you.

Support the show

NEW! Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcast

📖 Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/

Connect with me:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains
• Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
• Work with me one-on-one: https://lossesbecomegains.com/work-with-tara
• Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal
  
  

By accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational ...

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I don't think I've ever had a conversation on this podcast quite like this one. Today I'm sitting down with Dr. Gillian O'Shea Brown, a psychotherapist, trauma specialist, and author who has found the most fascinating way to make trauma and grief work accessible: through Greek mythology.

Gillian grew up in Ireland where emotions were something to be feared, not felt (hello, banshee folklore). That background shaped her belief that "the opposite of depression is expression", and it's part of why she wrote Psyche's Awakening: A Guide to Emotional and Somatic Healing Through the Wisdom of Greek Myth, using figures like Narcissus, Sisyphus, Medea, and Chiron as allegories for the healing principles she's used with trauma survivors for over 15 years.

In this episode, we talk about:
✨ How Gillian bridges complex trauma and Greek mythology
✨ Why "the opposite of depression is expression," and what happens when we suppress our emotions instead of processing them
✨ What trauma actually is: when the past intrudes on the present
✨ A simple, real explanation of EMDR
✨ How the body holds onto memories we don't consciously remember and how to start noticing the clues
✨ Ego state work
✨ Complex PTSD vs. PTSD, and why relational trauma is often the death by a thousand cuts
✨ Repetition compulsion, and why we're wired to keep reliving familiar pain
✨ The archetypal emotional map journaling exercise Gillian uses to help people spot patterns across their relationships
✨ Why rediscovering playfulness and creativity might be one of the final steps of true healing
✨ An inside look at Gillian's book, Psyche's Awakening, and the archetypes she uses to map the healing journey

If you've ever wondered why you keep attracting the same dynamics, why certain sensations show up in your body when you're triggered, or how to start doing this healing work even if therapy isn't accessible to you right now, this episode is going to open a lot of doors.

Connect with Gillian:

• https://www.drgillianosheabrown.com/
• https://www.instagram.com/dr.gillianosheabrown

Learn more about Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the show

NEW! Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcast

📖 Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/

Connect with me:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains
• Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
• Work with me one-on-one: https://lossesbecomegains.com/work-with-tara
• Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal
  
  

By accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational ...

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In today's episode of Mourning Sips and Soul Shifts, I'm talking about something I don't think gets named enough in grief: the shame spiral. That heavy feeling of watching everyone around you move forward—working, laughing, planning vacations—while you're still carrying the weight of your loss. If you've ever asked yourself "why am I not further along by now?", this episode is for you.

We dig into:
✨ Why grief comes with a hidden layer of shame, and why that shame is not a sign anything is wrong with you
✨ How productivity culture and unrealistic bereavement policies fuel the pressure to "get back to normal"
✨ Why comparing your grief to someone else's highlight reel—online or in person—isn't a fair comparison
✨ How well-meaning comments like "you seem so strong" can unintentionally add to the shame
✨ Why grief doesn't follow the neat five-stage narrative we were taught, and how that mismatch creates guilt
✨ Mindset shifts to help release the shame spiral

Mentioned in this episode (listen wherever you get your podcasts!):
Episode 86 | Navigating Social Media & Our Mental Health as We're Grieving: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/086-navigating-social-media-our-mental-health-as-were/id1688812587?i=1000680126476

Episode 148 | The 5 Stages of Grief: Myths vs. Reality (and What Grief Really Looks Like): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-5-stages-of-grief-myths-vs-reality-and-what/id1688812587?i=1000724369638

Learn more about Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the show

NEW! Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcast

📖 Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/

Connect with me:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains
• Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
• Work with me one-on-one: https://lossesbecomegains.com/work-with-tara
• Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal
  
  

By accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational ...

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Losing a parent changes you, but losing a parent as a man when you've been taught your whole life to keep it together? That's a different kind of grief. In this episode, I sit down with Roger Nairn, co-host of the Dead Dads Podcast, to talk about his father's death from cancer, his choice to pursue Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) in Canada, and what it's really like to grieve as a son when you weren't given the tools to feel your feelings.

Roger opens up about the guilt he felt when he didn't cry the way he expected to, how his counselor helped him understand that his grief had been "front-loaded" during his dad's illness, and why dark humor—including one unforgettable story about the funeral home—became his pressure-release valve.

✨ Why Roger felt "flat" and neutral when his dad died, and what his counselor taught him about anticipatory grief
✨ The MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying) process in Canada and what it's like to know the exact day and time
✨ The funeral home story that became the spark for the Dead Dads Podcast
✨ How toxic masculinity shapes the way men experience and express grief
✨ Why so many men have never had a real conversation with a friend about death
✨ The power of journaling as a grief ritual
✨ How to find the right grief counselor (and why it's okay to "break up" with one that isn't a fit)
✨ Navigating parenthood after losing a parent
✨ The complicated feelings around using AI to "bring back" a deceased loved one's photo or voice
✨ Why laughing about death and grief doesn't mean you've moved on

Learn more about Roger and his work at https://www.deaddadspodcast.com/

Learn more about Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the show

NEW! Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcast

📖 Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/

Connect with me:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains
• Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
• Work with me one-on-one: https://lossesbecomegains.com/work-with-tara
• Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal
  
  

By accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational ...

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I first connected with Korie Leigh at GriefTastic and I knew I had to get her on the podcast, because we don't talk nearly enough about what it actually looks like to build grief-informed spaces, especially in the workplace.

Korie's background is truly incredible. She started as a child life specialist in pediatric hospitals before going on to get her master's in thanatology and her PhD in transpersonal psychology. In this conversation, she opens up about how she learned to manage vicarious trauma and burnout through reflective practices, supervision, rituals, and understanding her own stress capacity—lessons that apply just as much to grievers as they do to the helpers supporting them.

This episode is packed with practical guidance, too. How to actually show up for someone who's grieving (hint: stop asking "let me know if you need anything" and just help), why saying the deceased's name matters more than you think, and why you don't need to expect a response every time you reach out.

What we covered:
✨ How Korie's path from pediatric child life specialist to thanatologist shaped her understanding of grief
✨ Managing vicarious trauma and burnout as a grief professional (and what that teaches the rest of us)
✨ Why compartmentalizing helps in a crisis, and hurts when it becomes permanent
✨ Cultivating nervous system safety and regulation after loss
✨ The archaic bereavement policies most workplaces still operate under
✨ The inequities around pregnancy loss that don't get talked about enough
✨ How grief-informed leadership starts with understanding grief's cognitive and physical impact
✨ What actually helps a griever
✨ Korie's book, "When Everything Changes: Parenting Through Loss and Grief", as a practical resource for families

Connect with Korie:

• https://www.korieleighphd.com/
• https://www.korieleighphd.com/books
• https://www.instagram.com/drkorieleigh

Learn more about Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the show

NEW! Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcast

📖 Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/

Connect with me:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains
• Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
• Work with me one-on-one: https://lossesbecomegains.com/work-with-tara
• Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal
  
  

By accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational ...

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Why does happiness feel scary after you've lost someone? If you've ever caught yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop right in the middle of a genuinely good moment, this episode is for you. I'm unpacking why joy can feel unsafe after loss—especially after compounding or back-to-back losses—and what to actually do about it.

I lost my mom and dad within six months of each other, both to cancer, and less than a year later I lost my 19-year-old dog, Princess. After that kind of loss, your nervous system doesn't just grieve the person or thing you lost, it changes how safe the whole world feels. That's what today's conversation is all about: naming the hypervigilance, understanding why your brain does this, and learning how to let good things in again without needing a guarantee they'll stay.

✨ What "bracing for joy" actually is, and why it's a form of hypervigilance, not negativity or ingratitude
✨ Why compounding or back-to-back losses make this fear so much louder
✨ The difference between "something bad is about to happen" and "I'm having a thought that something bad is about to happen"
✨ Why pattern-matching your past losses isn't a prediction of your future
✨ 5 mindset shifts to help you start trusting joy again

If this resonated, I'd love to hear about it! Send me your own "waiting for the other shoe to drop" moment on Instagram or in the reviews. And if you know someone who's been white-knuckling their way through good moments since their loss, this one's for them, too.

Learn more about Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the show

NEW! Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcast

📖 Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/

Connect with me:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains
• Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
• Work with me one-on-one: https://lossesbecomegains.com/work-with-tara
• Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal
  
  

By accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational ...

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In this episode I sit down with Amanda Lentz, host of Who We Become: Life Beyond Change, to talk about something we don't say out loud enough: that surviving a life-threatening illness comes with its own kind of grief.

Amanda found out she was BRCA-positive at 28. She felt a lump in 2020, and at 34 (in the middle of COVID), she was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. In this conversation, she takes us through six months of chemo, a double mastectomy, six weeks of daily radiation, and a later hysterectomy to lower her risk. And, the layers of loss underneath all of it: facing her own mortality, grieving her body, going through menopause at 35, and missing years of her kids' childhood while she waited for her recurrence risk to drop.

Amanda is five years in remission now, and she's honest with me about what's still there. The intrusive thoughts, the therapy, the community that held her, and how movement and intentional living have become part of how she heals. If you've ever felt like grief isn't just about death—if you're grieving a body, a version of yourself, a timeline you thought you'd have—this episode is for you.

In this episode, we cover:
✨ Amanda's BRCA-positive diagnosis at 28 
✨ Being diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer at 34, during COVID
✨ What treatment really looked like
✨ The layered grief of mortality, early menopause, and body changes
✨ Grieving missed time with her kids while living in "wait and see"
✨ Life five years into remission—intrusive thoughts, therapy, and community
✨ How movement and intentional living became part of her healing
✨ How to support someone going through cancer treatment (patient or caregiver)

Amanda's podcast, Who We Become: Life Beyond Change, digs into exactly this — who we become on the other side of change we didn't choose. Go find her show after you listen here.

Connect with Amanda:

• https://www.amandalentz.com/
• https://www.instagram.com/lifebeyondchange
• https://www.youtube.com/@lifebeyondchange

Learn more about Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the show

NEW! Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcast

📖 Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/

Connect with me:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains
• Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
• Work with me one-on-one: https://lossesbecomegains.com/work-with-tara
• Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal
  
  

By accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational ...

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Surprise! I'm popping in with a bonus episode, and I am SO excited about it! 🥹

Today I'm officially introducing you to something I've been quietly working on for months and cannot wait to get into your mailbox. It's called Letters of Light, and it's a monthly letter set created specifically for grievers. And in this quick bonus episode, I'm walking you through everything. The story behind it, the why, and exactly what you'll find inside every single envelope.

This idea was born from so many places. From years of coaching grievers and noticing how much we all crave to truly feel seen. From finding old letters my dad wrote to my grandparents when he was in the Army in his early 20s. From being a millennial who grew up watching the internet come to life and now finds herself deeply craving something slower, more intentional, and more human. And, from becoming a mom and realizing how desperately I want to slow down time.

In a world that is noisier and more digital than ever—and where AI seems to be everywhere—I wanted to create something that was the complete opposite of all of that. Something real, tangible, and that shows up for you every single month in your actual mailbox, from an actual human who has genuinely been there.

✨ The personal story behind Letters of Light
✨ Why I believe the grief space has been missing something really important (and why Letters of Light fills that)
✨ A full walkthrough of everything inside your Letters of Light envelope
✨ The letter: written entirely by me, handwritten first, then printed on beautiful linen cardstock, and signed personally by me with a note just for you
✨ The reflection card: a gentle monthly prompt to sit with, centered around that month's theme
✨ The affirmation card: printed on linen cardstock with a seasonal photo on one side, and a detailed affirmation on the other
✨ Why every single detail was chosen with complete intention
✨ How my background as a grief and soul purpose coach is woven into every piece

Visit https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters for more information and to join us 💌✨ 

Support the show

NEW! Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcast

📖 Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/

Connect with me:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains
• Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
• Work with me one-on-one: https://lossesbecomegains.com/work-with-tara
• Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal
  
  

By accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational ...

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Sally's mum Rose died suddenly in November 2019 from a prolonged seizure. No warning, no goodbye, just a 6am phone call that flipped her world upside down. She and her now co-host, Imogen, met at a support group for motherless daughters and turned their shared grief into Good Mourning, a podcast built on honesty, humor, and refusing to make grief feel taboo.

In this episode, we get into:
✨ Sally's story of sudden loss and how she and Imogen built Good Mourning from the ground up
✨ Grieving styles—the difference between "instrumental" (doing) grievers and "intuitive" (feeling) grievers, and why neither is wrong
✨ The physical side of grief nobody warns you about: exhaustion, brain fog, immune changes, and more
✨ How COVID complicated (and in some ways deepened) both of our grief journeys
✨ The special kind of hell that is "deadmin"—settling an estate while your heart is in pieces (plus a story involving a cake tin that will make you laugh out loud)
✨ The mind-body connection, breathwork, and one simple technique you can use anywhere to calm your nervous system
✨ Why the second (or third!) year of grief can hit harder than the first, and why that doesn't mean you're going backwards
✨ Sally's best advice for anyone in the thick of it right now

Sally is proof that you can build a full, joyful life alongside your grief, not after it. I know this one's going to make you feel so seen.

Connect with Sally:

• https://www.instagram.com/sallydouglasgrief/

Learn more about Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the show

NEW! Letters of Light 💌✨ https://lossesbecomegains.com/letters

Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/lifewithgriefpodcast

📖 Life Beyond Grief Substack: https://taraaccardo.substack.com/

Connect with me:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lossesbecomegains/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifewithgriefpodcast/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/losses.become.gains
• Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
• Work with me one-on-one: https://lossesbecomegains.com/work-with-tara
• Shop the LBG Daily Journal: https://lossesbecomegains.com/journal
  
  

By accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Tara Accardo, or used by Tara Accardo with permission. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational ...