Grief Grower

If you've been told to "find closure" after a loss, you're not alone—but that advice may be doing you more harm than good. Closure in grief is often treated as the ultimate goal of healing, yet many grieving people find it impossible—or even undesirable. I agree with them!

You'll learn:

• Why closure is an unhelpful goal in grief

• What "closure after death" really implies—and why it falls short of what many grievers want

• The psychology behind continuing bonds and integration

• How to heal without leaving a loved one, a relationship, or a part of yourself behind

• What to seek instead of closure when rebuilding life after loss

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club: https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Wondering how to comfort someone who's grieving? Learn three powerful strategies—validation, consistent presence, and gentle perspective—that support a grieving friend without fixing or forcing hope. Plus, discover your unique Grief Supporter Strength with my free quiz.

You'll discover:

• How to validate a grieving person's emotions without being a therapist

• What it means to show up after everyone else disappears

• How to offer perspective without minimizing pain

• Which grief supporter strength is naturally yours

Take my free What's Your Grief Supporter Strength? quiz: https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/6946987575f866001543c0b1

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club:https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

How do you grieve when your body is the site of loss? Lisa Keefauver, author of Grief Is a Sneaky Bitch, joins me to talk about something we don't discuss nearly enough: grief in the body. From cancer treatment to identity shifts to looking in the mirror and not recognizing yourself, we explore what it means to experience embodied grief—and how to cope when your body is the loss you're grieving.

You'll hear:

• What "body grief" and "embodied grief" actually mean—and why so many people experience them

• How illness, trauma, and medical betrayal can change your relationship with your body

• The hidden identity grief that comes with physical changes

• Practical tools for coping when your body no longer feels like home

• How to hold both gratitude and grief at the same time

Learn more about Lisa, read (or listen to!) Grief Is a Sneaky Bitch, and subscribe to her Substack: https://lisakeefauver.com/

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club:https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

If you're grieving but the tears won't come, this episode is for you. You'll learn five reasons you might not be crying—even if you feel heartbroken. Whether you're numb, overwhelmed, or just not a crier, this conversation will help you better understand your grief.

You'll hear:

• Why crying isn't the only valid grief response

• What shock and safety have to do with blocking tears

• Common fears about crying "forever"

• Reflection questions to help you explore your grief

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club: https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

You got through the first year of grief—but year two feels heavier, not lighter. Today, I'm sharing why grief often gets harder after the first year, what no one tells you about the second year of loss, and why struggling now doesn't mean you're doing something wrong.

You'll learn:

• Why "the first year is the worst" is a lie

• How year two reveals hidden grief no one warned you about

• What happens when the shock wears off and support disappears

• How to survive the identity uncertainty of the second year

• What struggling in year two really says about your grief

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club: https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

Struggling with sleep after a loss? In this episode, I explore how grief disrupts your ability to fall asleep—or makes you want to sleep all the time.

You'll discover:

• 11 grief-informed sleep tips based in mine and my clients' experiences

• What to do during the day to support rest at night

• Gentle rituals to help you fall asleep (and stay asleep)

• What to do when you wake up in the middle of the night

• When sleeping "too much" might actually be okay—and when to worry

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club: https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

If you want to know how to support a grieving friend without saying the wrong thing—or disappearing altogether—you are not alone. In this "Ask Shelby" episode, I share practical, compassionate guidance for what to say to someone grieving, using words that actually help in the days, months, and years after loss.

You'll learn:

• Why words are one of the most powerful (and free) tools for grief support

• What to say to someone grieving instead of clichés or silence

• My three-phrase framework: Of course. I'm here. Right now.

• How to use these phrases in sympathy cards, texts, and real-life conversations

• What to say long after the loss, when most people stop checking in

• How your words can strengthen relationships and change grief culture

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club:https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

What do you do with a person's things after they die? This week, Charlene Lam joins me to explore "the stuff of grief"—and how curating can become a meaningful, healing practice. We talk about her 3-step method, the roles objects play in grief, and why you may be more of a curator than you think.

You'll learn:

• The "Three C's" of curating someone's belongings after they die

• The difference between "linking objects" and "evidence objects"—and why each is significant

• The surprising ways you may have already curated your grief objects (I share several of mine!)

• How to claim your role as a curator, even if you don't feel qualified, or if you're dealing with the aftermath of a messy or complicated loss

Read Charlene's book Curating Grief, explore 1:1 coaching, and check out her online course Sorting the Stuff of Life and Loss: https://www.charlenelam.com/

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club:https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

"Time heals all" is one of the most commonly repeated phrases in grief support—but is it actually helpful? Discover the history behind this platitude, why it often causes more harm than good, and what actually supports healing after loss.

• Where "time heals all" originated—and why it stuck

• 3 reasons the phrase harms more than helps

• What to do instead of waiting for time to pass

• What to say to grievers that's actually comforting

• Why you—not time—are the source of your healing

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

Submit your pre-order receipt to join the FREE Of Course I'm Here Right Now book club:https://forms.gle/UKZUerJ91Cf1RwrC7

RSVP for Of Course I'm Here Right Now launch parties in Chicago and virtual: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/events

...

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast

If you've ever felt broken, lost, or completely alone in your grief, this episode is for you. I'm sharing 15 short, nonreligious affirmations that have brought me comfort and a sense of stability in grief's hardest moments—along with insights from my students inside Life After Loss Academy.

These aren't fluffy or sugarcoated. They're honest, grounding, and written to meet you exactly where you are.

You'll hear:

• Three emotional pain points almost every griever faces

• 15 affirmations that actually help soothe the pain of grief (no toxic positivity here)

• Ideas for making affirmations part of your daily life

Join Life After Loss Academy FREE for one month with code NEWYEARSGRIEF: https://life-after-loss-academy.circle.so/checkout/life-after-loss-academy-membership?coupon_code=NEWYEARSGRIEF

Pre-order my new book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/of-course-im-here-right-now

...

Read my viral blog: Grief Is Not "Just Love With No Place to Go." Here's What It Really Is. https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/blog-archive/grief-is-not-love-with-no-place-to-go-heres-what-it-really-is

Get FREE grief workshops, quizzes, and so much more on my website: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/links

Keep Grief Grower ad-free by becoming a Patreon supporter: https://www.patreon.com/shelbyforsythia

Join my online course + community, Life After Loss Academy: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/life-after-loss-academy

Listen to more episodes of Grief Grower, view episode transcripts, and submit a question for the show: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-grower-podcast