Here's the deal...Elevator Pitch is gonna go on a little break. Why? Well we both just gotta buy a one way train ticket, performativity read Joan Didion, and stare out the damn window till we figure out who we really are. That's right. It's summer vacation. Time for us to TRAVEL. Will's heading off to do a movie and Matt's literally doing that first thing so we decided to chat travel movies...Well Will and Tanner chat travel movies before Matt comes off the top rope with a pitch (44:08). He can't be there live unfortunately. Treadstone is on his tails. And even worse...SCOTTY DOESN'T KNOW.

This week in the elevator, we’re getting a whole bunch of gangs back together. From the guys that brought you the comedies you love, comes a podcast about the legacy comedy sequels that inevitably come after. Did any of this make sense? Long story short…Caleb Saad joins us to chat about Happy Gilmore 2 and pitch some more legacy comedy sequels that don’t exist yet…and probably never should (1:02:30). Our most negative podcast yet! Join us as we get super existential about fart jokes and killing off your wife before the title credits.

We're taking this elevator to New Mexico for a pitch session and convo all about a true cinematic sicko...Ari Aster. But we can't do it alone. We're joined by stand up comedian and known Aster skeptic Noah Marger to chat about the auteur of the abominable and his new immunocompromised film EDDINGTON. What worked? What didn't? Did Tanner play one of the Antifa militants? Did Tanner play all of them? These answers and more. Only on Ari Aster's Elevator Pitch.

Aster/Eddington Chat - 00:00

Pitches - 1:06:48

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Oh my lord...this elevator found its way to Metropolis. That's right. It's time to talk Superman. Was it good? Was it fine? And most importantly, what should its star DAVID CORENSWET do next? Because we think he is a star! So is Hoult! And Brosnahan! And Bradley---Actually I'll let you get there yourself. In the meantime, we've cranked up the thermostat and turned the mics on. Let's SWET.

Superman chat - 00:00

Corensweat gab - 38:31

Pitches - 53:12

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The mics are on, the raptors are out of the cage and even worse...Tanner is back into the elevator. We're also joined by Matt's roommate, Sigma Chi Brother 4 Life, and known Reddit paleontologist Noah Paradise to chat about all things Jurassic Park. We start with the newest instillation, Jurassic World: Rebirth before finding our way back to the original three (19:18). Goldblum. Raptors. Michael Chrichton. Nick Van Owen. Nothing's off the table. We lick the damn bowl clean. Then we toss out some other lab disasters. What makes for a good science gone wrong movie? Let's find out. We're gonna pitch our own (49:19).

We finally saw F1 so it's time to box for a quick two hour pod and change the pitch oil. But first, shall we chat about the blockbuster hit and its star? Why not. After all it's none other than thief/hotel manager, fight club entrepreneur, old man baby, Oakland A's GM, stunt double, forgotten silent film-era star, fake Italian film star, spy gamer, and personal trainer...Brad Pitt. So up top is our F1 chat. What works and what...almost works. Then we go full Pitt. Lot's of Oceans Twelve. Some Moneyball. Maybe a little Allied if you're lucky (38:57). Then we have our first pitch conversation (1:23:27). We'll explain all that. It's different. It's fun. IT'S PITT.

It’s time again for Tanner to call the shots. He had once simple request. Pitch fake movies to the pride of Long Island, Alec Baldwin. We thought it’d be best to take this one to 1997, smack in the middle of his go at leading man status. The Hunt for Red October. The Getaway. Malice. The MF Edge. Who was this guy anyway??? (1:02:43) But first, a few pieces of movie news. We just gotta talk Denis Villenueve returning to Earth for James Bond (unless he goes Moonraker) and Sorkin’s Social Network Part II. It’s a loaded episode. Billy and Stevie Baldwin would be proud of it. 

Wow...We've been waiting for this one. It's finally time to talk Celine Song's Materialists, her matchmaking follow-up to 2023's Past Lives, starring Pedro Pascal, Chris Evans, and this week's guest...Dakota Johnson. She's running fashionably late to the elevator, so we've got plenty of time up top to chat through what's surely one of the more interesting movies you'll see this year. No spoilers but let's just say Celine Song's got us in a damn TIZZY. Then we chat through some other Dakota favorites of ours and how her off-kilter performance style has evolved over the years (36:14). Then we PITCH fake movies to Dakota in whatever year we want (58:58).

For the release of the Phoenician Scheme (and because there's no new episode) [and cause the Stanley Cup is happenin'] we're re-releasing last year's Wes Anderson pitch-off with Empty Netters hosts Dan and Chris Powers!!

The Wes Chat - 00:00

The World Famous Pitch Off - 34:11

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It's getting HUMID in the elevator today. Cause we're talking Dazed. We're talking Jaws. We're talking Snack Shack. We're talking High School Musical 2. That's right. It's Summer Movie Week on Elevator Pitch. We chat through some of our favorites, what exactly defines a summer flick, and finally settle the debate on whether Anatomy of a Fall really qualifies. Then we piiiiiiitch two summer movies that damn well should be made tomorrow (1:00:42).

FINALLY....VIDEO EPISODES!

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