Embodied

A significant portion of the funeral home workforce is entering retirement...but there's a crop of young people who are ready to take the helm. Anita meets two young funeral directors who felt called to this work at a young age. They take her inside their world -- from organizing end of life ceremonies to learning how to embalm for the first time. Plus, they share their hopes for a more death-positive future.

Meet the guests:

- Jasmine Berrios, licensed funeral director and embalmer, shares how she got into the industry, how being a funeral director impacts her dating life and how she tries to create boundaries around her work [@jasminethemortician]

- Joél Simone Maldonado, grief care professional and educator known as The Grave Woman, talks about how her family influenced her career choice, how she educates her peers around culturally competent care and the importance of open conversations around death [@thegravewoman]

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Anita has many close friends who defy all stereotypes about only children. But when it comes to thinking about having her own kids, she still can't shake some of those ingrained ideas. She hears three perspectives on single-kid families (including that of former U.S. poet laureate Billy Collins) and learns why the debunked mythology around only children still lingers today.

Meet the guests:

- Lauren Sandler, journalist and author of "One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One,” shares her personal experience and ways to reframe the negative stereotypes about being and having only children

- Corinne Lyons, a middle school teacher in Detroit, talks about how her childhood being the only child of only children has shaped how she thinks about family

- Billy Collins, former U.S. poet laureate, reads his poem "Only Child" and shares the joy of being an only child

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True or false? Victorian doctors invented the vibrator to cure women's "hysteria" by bringing them to sexual climax. The answer may surprise you...as it did Anita! She gets the truth about vibrator history from journalist Hallie Lieberman and meets Anna Lee, the engineer behind the first-ever “smart” vibrator that can help you better understand your arousal patterns.

Meet the guests:

- Hallie Lieberman, author of "Buzz: The Stimulating History of the Sex Toy," shares the history of the vibrator and debunks myths and misconceptions around how this sex toy evolved

- Anna Lee, co-founder and head of engineering at Lioness, talks about how her company designed their smart vibrator, how they collect data and what they've learned from their users so far

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Dive deeper:

Read more about Von’s music

See some vibrator ads throughout history

Hallie debunking the vibrator myth

A gender transition is a moment of personal flux that can also have a big impact on a romantic relationship. Anita meets two couples who continued to choose each other after one partner came out as trans: a South African couple in their 20s and an American couple who went through a transition after 22 years of marriage.

Meet the guests:

- Summer Tao and Lucy Aalto, partners and freelance writers in South Africa, describe the unexpected ways in which Summer’s transition brought them closer together and share advice to couples who may be at the beginning of their own queer journeys 

- Kate and Patty Redman, wife and wife in Missouri, reflect on changes to their sex life, social circles and religious ties when Kate came out as trans after two decades of marriage

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No matter how much you love your partner, your relationship will never be totally free from disagreement. And nor should it be, say researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. We actually just need to learn to argue better. Enjoy this episode from our friends at The Happiness Lab.

The Gottmans join Dr Laurie Santos to talk us through how to raise complaints with our partners and how to react when they complain about us. 

Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection by Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. 

American Sign Language is the third-most used language in the U.S. ASL has its own culture and art forms, and for many Deaf folks, ASL is about much more than just communication. Anita talks to Deaf author Sara Nović and Deaf ASL Slam poet Douglas Ridloff about how ASL gave them tools for self-understanding and artistic expression. Then she learns from scholars Carolyn McCaskill and Joseph Hill about Black American Sign Language (BASL), an ASL dialect that emerged because of school segregation.

Meet the guests:

- Sara Nović, author of "True Biz," outlines the history of ASL and how it has influenced her work as a writer

- Douglas Ridloff, visual storyteller, ASL master and executive director of ASL Slam, shares how he learned ASL and became an ASL poet

- Carolyn McCaskill, recently retired professor and director of the Center for Black Deaf Studies at Gallaudet University, talks about attending a segregated school for the deaf — and how integration raised her awareness of Black ASL (BASL)

- Joseph Hill, associate professor in the department of ASL and Interpreting Education at Rochester Institute of Technology, talks about the impact of the research he, Carolyn and two other colleagues have conducted about BASL

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Check out the video version of this conversation: part one is here, and part two is here.

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Anita finds a lot of ASMR videos to be deeply relaxing, but she doesn't get the well-hyped/well-documented 'brain tingles.' Why? She puts the question to a physiologist who's been exploring the science of ASMR for the past decade. Plus, she meets an ASMR artist who's entranced hundreds of thousands of people with her medical role play videos and a woman who turned to the world of Boyfriend ASMR to heal her broken heart.

Meet the guests:

- Craig Harris Richard, ASMR researcher and professor of biopharmaceutical sciences at Shenandoah University, digs into the data on what we know about ASMR, or autonomous sensory meridian response

- Semide, an ASMR artist, talks about the emotional work in her content creation and the parasocial relationships she forms with viewers

- Laura Nagy, filmmaker, writer and podcaster behind the 2021 Audible Original podcast “Pillow Talk,” shares how ASMR content helped her to open up to being vulnerable again 

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Check out Craig's ASMR podcasts: “Sleep Whispers” and “Calm History”

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Egg donation in the U.S. is a multibillion dollar industry with high stakes and complicated dynamics. Anita talks with two egg donors about why they donated and what they wish they'd known earlier. Plus, a medical anthropologist shines a light on the messy world of donor compensation and why some eggs are valued higher than others.

Meet the guests:

- Julie Ventura, egg donor and nail artist, shares her journey of donating eggs for her best friends to start a family

- Claire Burns, egg donor and Canadian playwright, actor and advocate, explains her concerns with the industry after hearing about lots of varying experiences as the co-founder of the online support group, We Are Egg Donors

- Daisy Deomampo, associate professor of anthropology at Fordham University, breaks down her research into the racialization and commodification of the egg donor market, particularly for Asian American donors

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The Brazilian butt lift (or BBL) is the fastest-growing cosmetic surgery in recent memory ... but why? Anita learns about the ins and outs of the procedure from a plastic surgeon and a BBL recipient. Then a scholar puts our obsession with big butts in historical context — tracing the conversation from Sir Mix-a-Lot to Kim Kardashian.

Meet the guests:

- Dr. Kelly Bolden, a clinical assistant professor at Howard University and Medical Director and plastic surgeon at CulturaMed, details the procedure and safety factors to consider with a BBL

- RJ, a Youtube vlogger and personality, shares why he got a BBL and what the surgical process and recovery were like

- Dr. Alisha Gaines, an associate professor of arts and sciences in the department of English at Florida State University, explains the historical roots of the cultural forces propelling the BBL to popularity

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When a loved one dies, a big part of the grieving process involves letting go of the role they once played in your day-to-day life. But with new developments in AI technology … the dead can live on in new and interesting ways. Anita meets a tech journalist who built bots of her parents to see how AI could preserve their memories for the long term. She also talks with a philosophy professor about the ways that ancient Chinese philosophy can address AI's emerging ethical issues and how grief tech fits into a long history of traditions around death and mourning.

Meet the guests:

- Charlotte Jee, news editor for MIT's Tech Review, shares the process of creating her AI parents and a survey of where we are with grief tech today

- Dr. Alexis Elder, associate professor of philosophy at the University of Minnesota Duluth, talks about how Chinese philosophy can guide communal conversations about the future of this technology and how it fits into our society's grieving process

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