Embodied

Anita's been deep in romantasy land this year reading Fourth Wing & ACOTAR. And it's gotten her thinking about the skill required to make steamy sex scenes come alive on the page and out loud. She goes behind the scenes with two prolific erotica author-editors and a former producer for the audio erotica app Dipsea to figure out how the sausage — and the butt slaps — get made.

Meet the guests:

- Rachel Kramer Bussel has been published in more than 100 erotica anthologies, edited at least 70 others and is the author of “How To Write Erotica.”

- Cecilia Tan has written science fiction and fantasy erotica for 30 years and is the founder of the publishing company Circlet Press. 

- Selene Ross is a former audio producer for the popular audio erotica app Dipsea and an artist and musician with an MFA in fiction from Oregon State University, where she teaches podcast storytelling and writing.

Special thanks to Megan Hart and Lee Suksi for contributing to this episode!

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Anita and her partner John have started talking more openly about how his hearing loss informs their relationship and how they'll continue to navigate that as they age. She meets another interabled couple (Anna and Vika) who share the sometimes humorous, sometimes challenging moments that accompany sex and dating with hearing loss. Plus, former guest Yat Li returns to talk about deafness, disclosure, and disabled identity.

Meet the guests:

- Anna Pulley, author and columnist, talks about her journey with sex and intimacy as a deaf and hard of hearing person

- Vika Mass, Anna's fiancee, shares how she has adjusted as part of an interabled couple

- Yat Li, disability advocate, inclusive model and creator of “Let There Be Ears” on YouTube, talks about how he learned to self-disclose his deafness

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Tested is a new podcast series from CBC and NPR that asks the question, who gets to compete?  Since the beginning of women’s sports, there has been a struggle over who qualifies for the women’s category. Tested follows the unfolding story of elite female runners who have been told they can no longer race as women, because of their biology. As the Olympics approach, they face hard choices: take drugs to lower their natural testosterone levels, give up their sport entirely, or fight. To understand how we got here, we trace the surprising, 100-year history of sex testing. 

More episodes of Tested are available here.

It took Anita 12 years and five therapists to find someone who could help her tackle questions of racial and cultural identity. She meets two therapists of color working to make that kind of support more accessible. Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy, talks about approaching wellness from a more collectivist lens, and Jor-El Caraballo shares how he helps clients build tools for resilience in the face of systemic oppression.

Meet the guests:

-  Sahaj Kaur Kohli is a psychotherapist, the founder of Brown Girl Therapy and the author of “But What Will People Say?”

- Jor-El Caraballo is a therapist, the co-founder of Viva Mental Health and Wellness and the author of “Self-Care for Black Men”

Special thanks to Lisa R. Savage, Erinn Scott, Melody Li and Susan Chung for contributing to this weeks’ episode.

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Long-term stays in psychiatric institutions were once a relatively common treatment in this country. They’re not anymore, but that doesn’t mean they’ve gone away entirely. Anita meets someone who spent three years living in a psychiatric hospital in the early 90s and talks with an activist whose time spent in contemporary psychiatric hospitals pushed them to fight for alternatives.

Meet the guests:

- Suzanne Scanlon spent three years living inside the New York State Psychiatric Institute in her early 20s and is the author of the memoir  “Committed: On Meaning and Madwomen”

- Stefanie Lyn Kaufman-Mthimkulu is an organizer, healer and the founder and director of Project LETs

**If you or someone you know is in an emotional crisis, reach out to the National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing or texting 988.**

Special thanks to Chanika Svetvilas and Laura Lopez-Aybar, who contributed to this episode.

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Places to find diverse narratives about psychiatric institutionalization: 

- Vesper Moore

- Nadia Naomi Mbonde

- Depressed While Black online community

When you live in a disabled body, you don’t always get to see yourself in the love stories you consume. Anita talks with three folks changing that through their own writing. She meets a novelist, essayist and activist who share their disability love stories and how writing has changed their relationships with others and themselves.

Meet the guests:

- Keah Brown, journalist and author of "The Pretty One," talks about her experience with cerebral palsy and her multi-year journey to self-love

- Maria Town, activist and CEO and president of the American Association of People with Disabilities, discusses opening up about her romantic relationship for the first time in her essay, ”This is My Solemn Vow”

- Talia Hibbert, British romance author, digs into how her own experiences as a disabled person inform the romantic leads that she writes

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Dive deeper:

“Disability Intimacy,” edited by activist Alice Wong

Anita's nail habit has evolved in the past decade from $10 drop-in manicures to 90 minute appointments with a nail artist. That artist joins her for a conversation about how Black women have shaped nail culture. Plus a fashion historian details nail history from Egyptian mummies to ‘90s Chanel colors, and a Vietnamese-American woman tells the story of growing up inside her parents' nail salons.

Meet the guests:

- Crystal Sanders, nail artist and entrepreneur, shares her business and artistic philosophy and talks about the overlooked role Black women have played in the history of nail art

- Suzanne E. Shapiro, fashion historian and author of "Nails: The Story of the Modern Manicure," explains the historical context of manicures and nail art and ties both art forms into larger cultural forces

- My Ngoc To, Vietnamese-American writer, talks about her experience growing up in the nail salons that her parents owned and how that has influenced her relationship with nail art today

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Dig deeper:

Crissy Shined Nails on IG

Blkgirlnailfies on IG

More context on Black women in nail art

NYT nail industry expose

My Ngoc’s piece about her family’s nail salons

Nailed It documentary

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It’s been two years since the Supreme Court revoked the federal right to an abortion. Now, nearly one in five people seeking abortion care has to cross state lines to get it. Anita meets someone who spent 20 hours on the road to get her abortion, learns how folks afford thousands of dollars worth of travel and reviews the ways that Hollywood has taken on the abortion road trip.

Meet the guests:

- Taylor Shelton, abortion-seeker who traveled from her home state of South Carolina to North Carolina three times to get her abortion, shares the emotional toll that all that travel took and why she decided to join a lawsuit suing South Carolina over its abortion law

- Serra Sippel, interim executive director of the Brigid Alliance, talks about some of the tangible ways that her organization supports folks who have to travel for abortion care and how they navigate an ever-changing legislative landscape

- Gretchen Sisson, sociologist who studies portrayals of abortion in TV and film, traces the abortion road trip subgenre and explains how these representations affect the audiences who watch them

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Dive deeper:

A visualization of abortion travel from The New York Times

A Guttmacher Institute analysis on abortion travel & data on abortion numbers and travel

The cost of traveling for an abortion

More on Taylor’s story:

From NPR
From PBS

More on The Brigid Alliance

More ‘navigators’ helping people access abortion care

An Abortion Road Trip Movie List:

Grandma (2015), directed by Paul Weitz
Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020), directed by Eliza Hittman
Unpregnant (2020), directed by Rachel Lee Goldenberg
Plan B (2021), directed by Natalie Morales
Red, White and Blue (Short 2023), directed by Nazrin Choudhury
Tripping (Short 2024), directed by Amelia Xanthe Boscov

The vast majority of people living with dementia receive essential care from their own family and friends. This work is emotionally rigorous, but also filled with joy, surprise and creativity. More than 11 million Americans are doing this unpaid caregiving, and Anita meets two of them: a millennial who supported her mom and grandmother through different stages of Alzheimer's disease and a man in his 70s who is a care partner for his wife of 50 years.

Meet the guests:

- Jacquelyn Revere, creator of "Mom of My Mom" Instagram and TikTok handles, shares her story of becoming a full-time caregiver at the age of 29 and talks about the logistical and financial realities — and joys — of taking on this role

- Kanu "KC" Mehta, care partner for his wife Sumi, explains how his background as an engineer has helped him creatively solve problems that have arisen with caring for Sumi and gets into the emotional journey he has been on as a care partner for the last 10 years

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The poem that KC reads at the end of the episode is "Do Not Ask Me to Remember" by Owen Darnell.

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Male fertility issues make up half of all infertility cases … but you’d never know it from consuming fertility content through culture, media and even medicine. Anita meets three men breaking the silence in hopes that others get the help and support they need.

Meet the guests:

- Jared Wright, journalist who wrote a piece about his infertility journey for VICE, talks through his first time in a fertility clinic, the treatments he and his wife have undergone since their marriage in 2020 and about his experiences in the infertility space as a Black man

- Dr. Paul Shin, urologist at at Shady Grove Fertility in Washington D.C., explains some of the potential causes of male infertility and what treatments are available

- James D'Souza, a teacher, blogger and podcaster, breaks down his decision to stop pursuing parenthood after a ten year fertility journey with his wife

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