Anita discovers just how wrong “Fifty Shades of Grey” was about BDSM. A dominatrix and community leader introduce her to kink spaces rooted in community and healing. Plus, a scholar talks about the long history behind our understanding of masochism. 

Meet the guests:

- Smoky, the co-founder of Obsidian, shares how she became interested in the world of BDSM, what draws her to the role of submissive and what inspired the creation of Obsidian 

- Dia Dynasty, a professional dominatrix based in New York City, talks about the importance of being trauma-informed in domination and the healing opportunities in the BDSM community 

- Amber Jamilla Musser, the author of “Sensational Flesh: Race, Power and Masochism” and an English professor at the CUNY Graduate Center, explains the history of the term "masochism" and some of the controversy around masochism in feminist circles 

Read the transcript | Review the podcast

Follow Embodied on Twitter and Instagram

Leave us a message for an upcoming episode here!

Dig deeper:

BDSM educator Phyrgian Monk on TikTok

Dia Dynasty on Embodied in 2021

Anita has heard one resounding truth from her friends who lost a parent in early adulthood: That death was the biggest thing that has ever happened to them. She meets two people who've built specific communities around their grief on the internet and a writer who experienced losing his dad twice.

Meet the guests:

- Liz Zorn, photographer and model, talks about the sudden loss of her father and how it's changed her views on the afterlife

- Naomi Edmondson, grief educator and space holder, shares how the experience of losing two mother figures in her 20s inspired her to create a community group for Black folks who are grieving

- Jeff Dingler, author and journalist, explains how he lost his father twice: first to mental illness when he was 14 and then to death when he was in his 20s

Read the transcript | Review the podcast

Follow Embodied on Twitter and Instagram

Leave us a message for an upcoming episode here!

Dig deeper:

Tough Times Guide

Naomi’s grief resources

Liz’s YouTube video, “What no one tells you about losing a parent”

Jeff’s Insider piece

Jeff’s piece about his mom

Fifteen years ago Anita took Women's Studies 101 on a whim … and to this day, she still doesn't have an answer to the question: what is masculinity? In further pursuit of some clarity, she talks with a trans man and a non-binary person about what's possible when we take a more gender-fluid approach to manhood. The two share where their own beliefs about gender come from and how they're building a more expansive definition of masculinity in their own lives.

Meet the guests:

- Ocean Wei, a rising senior at Kenyon College and a trans writer, explains the roots of his views on masculinity and how they've evolved over time, as he's moved from Beijing to rural Missouri and come out as trans

- Anjan Alavandar, creator of Masq, talks about how they create safe spaces for folks to examine and dissect their own relationships with masculinity

Read the transcript | Review the podcast

Follow Embodied on Twitter and Instagram

Leave us a message for an upcoming episode here!

Dig deeper:

Life Kit’s masculinity episode

Anita got friend dumped for the first time in 6th grade, and she's still not over it. She talks to folks about the distinct pain of a platonic breakup and gets some tools for building strong friendships, setting boundaries and figuring out when it's time to let go.

Meet the guests:

- Michelle Elman is an author and life coach best known for her activism campaign Scarred Not Scared. She tells Anita about "the mass exodus" — a period of time in which she went through multiple friend breakups

- Tony Liu is a medical student and former radio and podcast producer for NPR and "On Being." He shares how tenderness informs how he makes and breaks up with friends

- KB Newton is the founder and creator of HEART Convos. She talks about being a recovering "trash friend"

Read the transcript | Review the podcast

Follow Embodied on Twitter and Instagram

Leave us a message for an upcoming episode here!

Anita wouldn't have made it through her 20s without her work friends. But now that she's a manager and working in a hybrid office, she's noticed that work friendships don't come as easily as they used to. A psychologist answers her burning workplace relationship questions and dives into the surprising amount of data about work besties. Plus, a Gen Z writer urges her to re-think the importance of work as a primary social hub.

Meet the guests:

- Dr. Marisa G. Franco, a psychologist and author of "Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends," shares the benefits of a work bestie and talks about why employers are invested in these positive relationships in the workplace

- Katherine Hu, assistant editor at The Atlantic, talks about how her generation is navigating the social scene at work

Read the transcript | Review the podcast

Follow Embodied on Twitter and Instagram

Leave us a message for an upcoming episode here!

Anita has no qualms about being an armchair therapist for friends going through a breakup. But sometimes she wonders how her advice aligns with what relationship experts say. Advice columnists Meredith Goldstein and Stacia Brown give guidance on breaking up "well," going no-contact, navigating social media and finding the right breakup anthem for the moment.

Meet the guests:

- Meredith Goldstein, writer and podcast host behind The Boston Globe column and podcast "Love Letters," shares insights from her personal and professional experiences with love and heartbreak

- Stacia Brown, writer and producer, talks about her own pandemic breakup and shares wisdom akin to what she delivers regularly in her role as a columnist for Slate's parenting advice column "Care and Feeding"

Read the transcript | Review the podcast

Follow Embodied on Twitter and Instagram

Leave us a message for an upcoming episode here!

Anita is confused about hook up culture. Is it a thing, and if so, who makes the rules? She talks to a recent college grad about her research on the sex lives of her peers, plus a therapist who shares her take on why it doesn't feel as liberating as we think it should. Then she dives into Celibacy TikTok — a space where Gen Zers are committing to being sex-free. 

Meet the guests:

- Sophie Aaron, a writer, researcher and 2021 graduate of Oberlin College shares insights from her senior thesis on hookup culture on her campus in the time of COVID

- Dr. Cherlisa Jackson, a sexual health educator and counselor based in Atlanta, talks about the myths vs. realities of hookup culture 

- Cindy Noir, a motivational speaker and TikTok creator, talks about why she has experimented with abstinence in response to hookup culture 

Read the transcript | Review the podcast

Follow Embodied on Twitter and Instagram

Leave us a message for an upcoming episode here!

Anita invites her parents back to Embodied for a special bonus episode. She hears their take on our recent episode "Mixed," about growing up biracial. Then she turns the tables and puts herself in the guest seat as her parents ask her a few questions.

Meet the guests:

- Sheila Rao, Anita's mom, shares some of the context surrounding her marriage to Satish and how that influenced the way they raised their children — and asks Anita how she's thinking about these issues as she's building her own mixed race family

- Satish Rao, Anita's dad, talks about the influence of where Anita grew up on their family and asks Anita about the strengths and weaknesses of being biracial

Read the transcript | Review the podcast

Follow Embodied on Twitter and Instagram

Leave us a message for an upcoming episode here!

Anita's nail habit has evolved in the past decade from $10 drop-in manicures to 90 minute appointments with a nail artist. That artist joins her for a conversation about how Black women have shaped nail culture. Plus a fashion historian details nail history from Egyptian mummies to ‘90s Chanel colors, and a Vietnamese-American woman tells the story of growing up inside her parents' nail salons.

Meet the guests:

- Crystal Sanders, nail artist and entrepreneur, shares her business and artistic philosophy and talks about the overlooked role Black women have played in the history of nail art

- Suzanne E. Shapiro, fashion historian and author of "Nails: The Story of the Modern Manicure," explains the historical context of manicures and nail art and ties both art forms into larger cultural forces

- My Ngoc To, Vietnamese-American writer, talks about her experience growing up in the nail salons that her parents owned and how that has influenced her relationship with nail art today

Read the transcript | Review the podcast

Follow Embodied on Twitter and Instagram

Leave us a message for an upcoming episode here!

Dig deeper:

Crissy Shined Nails on IG

Blkgirlnailfies on IG

More context on Black women in nail art

NYT nail industry expose

My Ngoc’s piece about her family’s nail salons

Nailed It documentary

When Anita moved away to college, she experienced a big shift in her biracial identity. Turns out that the questions that emerged for her are ones that many mixed young adults still ponder today ...15 years later. She meets two college seniors and they talk through navigating everything from "Where do I belong?" to "How do I date?" Plus she hears wisdom from a life coach who helps mixed adults tell new stories about identity.

Meet the guests:

- Adiah Siler, a senior at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia, explains how moving out of her small town to go to college allowed her opportunities to explore her Blackness and has influenced her journey as a mixed race person

- Claire Gallagher, a senior at the University of Michigan, shares her own experiences growing up as a mixed race person and brings up some of the anxieties she's had about her identity, especially since attending a predominantly white college

- Sarah Lotus Garrett, a certified life and goal fulfillment coach, emphasizes the confidence and healing that being a part of a mixed race community can bring

Read the transcript | Review the podcast

Follow Embodied on Twitter and Instagram

Leave us a message for an upcoming episode here!

Dig deeper:

Sarah’s program for mixed adults

Claire’s piece on the fetishization of mixed race identities

Adiah’s piece on being a mixed teen