Proxy with Yowei Shaw

Georgia knows the Titanic can't hurt her. So why does just looking at a picture fill her with dread? And can she make the fear go away? 

We find her a proxy who has spent decades helping people overcome their most irrational fears. 

In this episode: how strange fears develop and what it actually takes to overcome a phobia. 

From the episode:

— Learn more about Georgia Hampton and her work at www.georgia-hampton.com. Follow her on Instagram @real.tony.soprano and Tiktok @ realtonysoprano

— Explore psychologist Martin Antony's free books and resources on overcoming fears, from public speaking to spiders at www.martinantony.com. 

— Want to go down a rabbit hole? Get Georgia's internet-y recommendations and links to Martin's free books on overcoming fear of everything from needles to spiders in our free newsletter File Under Feelings. Sign up at proxyhq.org — just click "Join for free."

— Join us for a spooky live edition of Bad Hang on November 5, where Yowei will confront her fear of the basement with the help of listeners. Available to paid Proxy HQ members at proxyhq.org.

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Jane Doesn't Like Her Dogs, another story about the gap between what you want to feel and what you actually do.  

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org to get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

Yowei has a problem. She overprepares, overthinks, and worries so much about doing a good job that sometimes it makes her worse at her job. Can you care deeply about your work without being consumed by whether it succeeds?

Yowei finds a proxy who manages to do serious, thoughtful work while seemingly not caring what anyone thinks. 

In this episode: ambition, rejection, the surprising costs and benefits of caring less, and the art of low investment.

From the episode: 

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Yowei Can't Speak Bro, about what happens when friends have different ways of talking and connecting. 

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch — [email protected]

Ellie never thought she’d be the other woman. Then she fell in love with a married man. 

We find Ellie a proxy: another woman who knows what it's like to fall in love with someone else's husband. 

In this episode: shame, responsibility, the messy morality of affairs, and what happens when you get the happy ending you weren't supposed to have.

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Alex's Husband Is Too Straight, about a nonbinary person married to a man who still identifies as straight. 

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org — just click "Join for free." 

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org to get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

Ryan Jay has a problem. He makes friends with women. They get close. Then he falls for them. It’s happened enough times that Ryan Jay is starting to question whether he actually knows how to be friends with women without wanting to date them. 

So we bring in a proxy to help Ryan Jay figure out why friendship keeps turning into romance for him — and whether there’s another way to do this. 

In this episode: the blurry line between friendship and romance, why we fall for our friends, and whether it's possible to change who we fall for.

From the episode:

—  Andrew Smiler, a licensed therapist and the author of Clinical Work with Men: Understanding Masculinity in Psychotherapy. Find out more about his work at www.andrewsmiler.com.

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Taelor Doesn't Want to Have Sex, about an asexual woman trying to figure out how to find the kind of intimacy she wants, without the part she doesn’t.

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org — just click "Join for free." 

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org for bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

Chloe loves her life. There's just one problem: she's drinking more than she wants to, and she doesn't understand why. She's about to start medical school, but she's scared that asking for help could jeopardize her future career. So how do you deal with a drinking problem before your life falls apart? 

We find her a proxy who struggled with drinking at Chloe's age and went on to become an addiction psychiatrist. 

In this episode: the blurry line between drinking too much and having a drinking problem, why asking for help can be so scary, and what actually helps people change.

Learn about alcohol treatment:

— National Institute on Alcohol and Alcoholism — evidence-based information about medications, behavioral treatment, and mutual-support options

— NIAAA Alcohol Treatment Navigator — finding quality treatment in the U.S.

— Healthdirect Australia — alcohol treatment and support in Australia

Resources for doctors and medical students:

— Drs4Drs — confidential support for doctors and medical students across Australia

— Australian Doctors in Recovery — confidential peer support for healthcare professionals in recovery

— Federation of State Physician Health Programs — directory of U.S. physician heath programs

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Sam Doesn’t Know How to Be Rich, another story about trying to understand a troubling pattern before it turns into an emergency.

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org — just click "Join for free." 

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org for bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

Before Proxy comes back on September 22, Yowei and Kyle hold a tiny business meeting about the state of the show: more listeners, fewer members, a new membership goal, and what it’ll take to make year three. Also, Comcast has thoughts.

Carrie and Natalia want a baby. But they can’t agree on one big question: How much money is enough to become parents?

This week, we’re sharing an episode from “This Is Uncomfortable,”a podcast from Marketplace about life and the way money messes with it. Each Thursday, host Reema Khrais digs into stories about the unanticipated ways money shapes our relationships, identities, and the choices we make.

This week, as we continue working on new cases for the fall, we’re sharing an episode from our friends at A Slight Change of Plans.

Psychologist Ethan Kross talks to host Maya Shankar about why our inner voice sometimes helps us make sense of our lives—and sometimes traps us in an endless spiral—and shares practical ways to get some distance from the chatter.

Kaitlin Prest is one of the OG art weirdos of podcasting — creator of The Heart, the acclaimed queer feminist show about bodies, gender, power, intimacy, and the mysterious emotional terrain between people.

But these days, Kaitlin is not pitching ambitious projects or chasing the next career milestone. She’s living with her parents in the suburbs of Ontario, making what she calls “a very simple, playful, humble offering.” 

This week, while we work on new Proxy cases for the fall, we’re sharing the first episode of Kaitlin’s new series Suburban Paradise: a strange, tender, sound-rich diary about adulthood, failure, money, art, moving back home, and making a “ta-da list” with your dad. 

From the episode: 

— Listen to The Heart

 — Follow @kaitlinprest on Instagram

— Donate to The Mermaid Palace

The case of the asexual woman who wants love with no sex. 

Taelor wants a romantic partner. Someone to share a life with, to love and be loved by. Just without sex. But after years of dating, she's starting to wonder if what she wants is even possible. How do you grieve a life you still want but aren't sure you'll get? 

We find her a proxy who's been happily married for 12 years without compromising on sex. 

In this episode: dating while asexual, the loneliness of wanting something you can't seem to find, and how to hold on to hope without putting your life on hold.

From the episode:

— The Ace Couple podcast that Courtney hosts with her partner Royce

— Courtney Lane's work as a Victorian hair artist and historian

Funding for this story was provided by the University of California, Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, as part of its “Spreading Love Through the Media” initiative, supported by the John Templeton Foundation.

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Alex's Husband Is Too Straight, another episode about wrestling with attraction and longterm romance outside the usual script.

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org — just click "Join for free." 

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org for bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]