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The case of the people person who fell out of love with people.
Zakiya Gibbons used to love strangers, nightlife, and somehow always ending up on a boat.
Then lockdown happened. And somewhere in that solitude, Zakiya discovered something alarming: she loved being alone. And when the world opened back up, the things that used to light her up — parties, small talk, new people — made her anxious instead.
Zakiya wants to know: is this just who she is now? Or can she get back to the open, exuberant, people-loving version of herself?
In this episode, Yowei finds Zakiya a proxy: personality researcher Bill Chopik, who studies how people change over time. Together, they investigate whether personality is fixed, what it takes to change, and how to know when you’re honoring who you are versus accidentally becoming someone you don’t want to be.
From the episode:
— Zakiya Gibbons — on Instagram @zak_sauce — more of her work: www.zakiyagibbons.com
— Dr. William Chopik — studies relationships and personality — more about his research: www.chopiklab.com, Bluesky @Chops310, X @Chops310
New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Caitlin Lost the Voice In Her Head for a story about. losing access to a part of yourself you thought was permanent.
For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.
Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏
Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw
Visit — proxypodcast.com
Get in touch — [email protected]
By Yowei Shaw4.8
551551 ratings
The case of the people person who fell out of love with people.
Zakiya Gibbons used to love strangers, nightlife, and somehow always ending up on a boat.
Then lockdown happened. And somewhere in that solitude, Zakiya discovered something alarming: she loved being alone. And when the world opened back up, the things that used to light her up — parties, small talk, new people — made her anxious instead.
Zakiya wants to know: is this just who she is now? Or can she get back to the open, exuberant, people-loving version of herself?
In this episode, Yowei finds Zakiya a proxy: personality researcher Bill Chopik, who studies how people change over time. Together, they investigate whether personality is fixed, what it takes to change, and how to know when you’re honoring who you are versus accidentally becoming someone you don’t want to be.
From the episode:
— Zakiya Gibbons — on Instagram @zak_sauce — more of her work: www.zakiyagibbons.com
— Dr. William Chopik — studies relationships and personality — more about his research: www.chopiklab.com, Bluesky @Chops310, X @Chops310
New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Caitlin Lost the Voice In Her Head for a story about. losing access to a part of yourself you thought was permanent.
For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.
Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏
Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw
Visit — proxypodcast.com
Get in touch — [email protected]

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