Conspiracy theories have been gaining traction all the way to the highest seats of power. So, are there emotional dynamics at play that we could understand to be able to do something about it? 

Last year, Zach Mack’s dad sent him a strange email, asking to bet $10,000 to settle once and for all who was correct and who was the brainwashed one.  

From NPR’s Embedded podcast, this is episode 2 of the Alternate Realities series: Down the Rabbit Hole. 

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon. You’ll get ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus interviews.

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Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

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For as long as she can remember, Nichole Hill has had a complicated relationship with Black history. Then in 2020, she stumbled on a digital archive of pre Civil Rights era Black newspapers and got obsessed with the scandalous stories she found. Our Ancestors Were Messy is her new podcast that explores Black history through the lens of gossip and drama. In this episode, Nichole tells the story of a Victorian era love triangle that rocked the elites of DC. 

From the episode: 

Proxy is an independent podcast and we rely on listeners. To support emotional investigative journalism™️ and help the show keep going, consider joining our Patreon. You’ll get ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus interviews.

Sign up for our free newsletter. 

Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Get in touch at [email protected]

An Emotions Beat episode about why we suffer alone — and what happens when we don’t.

For years, Jason Yu struggled with skin picking in secret. He didn’t have a name for what was happening. He didn’t know other people dealt with it too. And he felt like if he just had more willpower, he should be able to stop.

Then, after eight years of shame and isolation, Jason found a support group.

In this episode, Yowei talks with Jason about body-focused repetitive behaviors, the strange magic of being understood by strangers, and why support groups can help when friends, family, and even therapy don’t quite reach the lonely center of a problem. Together, they investigate shame, peer support, support group etiquette, red flags, and the radical idea that there may be no one thing that fixes you — but many things that help.

From the episode: 

— Jason Yu — host of the podcast Fidget — on Instagram @fidgetpodcast

— The TLC Foundation —  a resource for body-focused repetitive behaviors

— Jason's book recommendations on. building community — The Art of Gathering and How We Show Up

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Sandy and the Silence for another emotions beat episode about shame, silence, and what changes when people finally say the thing out loud.

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

An Emotions Beat episode about why we hate the other side — and what that hate does to us.

A week before the election, Yowei talks with social psychologist Jay Van Bavel about political sectarianism: the emotional force that turns political disagreement into disgust, fear, and moral certainty that the other side is not just wrong, but evil.  

The question is not whether politics matter. They do. The question is whether our anger is helping us act — or just pulling us deeper into the outrage machine.

In this episode, Yowei and Jay investigate out-group hate, caricatures of the other side, political hobbyism, social media pile-ons,, and how to stay politically engaged without becoming less effective, less.  curious, or easier to manipulate.

From the episode: 

— Jay Van Bavel — author of The Power of Us: Harnessing Our Shared Identities to Improve Performance, Increase Cooperation, and Promote Social Harmony— more about his work: www.jayvanbavel.com

—The paper on political sectarianism

—X and Instagram: @jayvanbavel

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Nicole Can’t Stop Being Aggro for another story about what it takes to keep caring when the world is horrifying. 

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

An Emotions Beat episode about why we cry — and what other people are supposed to do about it.

After Yowei got laid off, she cried a lot. In bathrooms, at conferences, at birthday parties, and in moments when she desperately did not want to cry in front of other people.

So what is actually happening in that moment — when your eyes burn, your throat tightens, and your body starts sending a signal you did not approve?

In this episode, Yowei talks with poet Heather Christle, author of The Crying Book, about what emotional tears communicate, why crying in front of one person can feel so different from crying in front of a group, and what to do when someone starts crying in front of you. 

From the episode:

— Heather Christle —  author of The Crying Bookand In the Rhododendrums: A Memoir with Appearances by Virginia Wolf— @heatherchristle on X and Instagram

— The Thai Life Insurance commercial from our crying experiment

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or How to Cope with Now for another emotions beat episode about what happens when your inner experience becomes hard to explain.

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

Finally, a campaign reveal. Did we get additional funding to hire Kim for more hours? Plus, some updates for what’s in store for Proxy. 

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy, one of the clearest examples of what this show does, or Yowei Can't Speak Bro for a funny investigation into male friendship, bro-speak, and emotional translation.

An Emotions Beat episode about why rituals work — and what they have to do with Proxy.

When Yowei first started pitching Proxy, ritual was part of the concept. Proxy conversations, proxy rituals, “proxuals” — it was a whole thing. She eventually ditched the ritual component because no one understood what she was talking about.

But after making a layoff music video in a Kleenex box costume, Yowei still had a hunch: maybe rituals and proxy conversations are doing something similar.

In this episode, Yowei talks with Mike Norton, author of The Ritual Effect, about why humans invent rituals when ordinary life doesn’t give us one, how rituals help move us from one emotional state to another, and whether a conversation with the right stranger can work like a ritual too.

From the episode:

— Michael Norton — author of The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harnessing the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions— more about his work:www.michaelnorton.com

— Yowei's unhinged grieving ritual for her layoff

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Yowei Can't Speak Bro for a funny investigation into male friendship, bro-speak, and emotional translation.

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

An Emotions Beat episode about the surprisingly real feelings that can come from acting. 

Yowei has a problem: she’s making a show built around proxy conversations, but she still doesn’t totally know how to explain what’s happening inside them.

So she turns to psychodrama — an experiential therapy that uses role play, theater, and psychology to help people say the things they didn’t get to say, hear the things they needed to hear, and practice new ways of responding to old emotional loops.a

In this episode, Yowei talks with psychodrama expert Scott Giacomucci about how role play can create real catharsis, why acting can lead to healing, and what proxy conversations may have in common with a therapy that once rivaled Freud. Then Scott tries a little psychodrama on Yowei herself.

From the episode: 

— Scott Giacomucci — psychodrama therapist and author — more about his work: www.phoenixtraumacenter.com

— Scott's textbook about psychodrama available for free

— On Youtube @PhoenixTraumaCenter

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or The Mechanics and Magic of Ritual for another emotions beat episode about the emotional technologies we invent when to move through feelings. 

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

Get in touch — [email protected]

An Emotions Beat episode about Dead Eyes, Tom Hanks, and why proxy conversations work.

Yowei is still trying to answer a basic question about her own show: why would talking to a stranger who wasn’t there help someone get unstuck?

So she calls Connor Ratliff, the actor and comedian behind Dead Eyes — a podcast about the time Tom Hanks fired him from Band of Brothers for allegedly having “dead eyes.”

Before Connor finally talked to Tom Hanks himself, he had dozens of proxy conversations: with actors who had their own rejection stories, showrunners who had fired actors, and people who could help him understand the tiny show business nightmare that has haunted him for years.

In this episode, Yowei and Connor investigate the difference between talking to a proxy and talking to the real person — and why sometimes the stranger who wasn’t there can still tell you exactly what you needed to hear.

From the episode:

— Connor Ratliff – host of the podcasts Dead Eyes, Tiny Dinos, and The George Lucas Show — on Instagram @connorratliff

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic Proxy case, or Psychodrama: The 2nd Oldest Therapy You've Never Heard Of, But Have Definitely Tried for another emotions beat episode about how conversations can create closure, even when they aren't with the "real" person.  

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

Content note: This episode discusses sexual violence.

An Emotions Beat episode about proxy conversations, restorative jusice, and the questions we may never get to ask.  

Yowei has a problem. She's having trouble explaining the show to people who don't get it. She knows proxy conversations work. But why would talking to someone who wasn’t directly involved in your situation help you feel less stuck?

For the first stop on this quest, she turns to a much higher-stakes version of proxy conversations: vicarious restorative justice. Alissa Ackerman, a criminal justice professor and co-founder of Ampersands Restorative Justice, has helped survivors of sexual violence talk with people who committed similar kinds of harm — when the actual person who harmed them is unavailable, unwilling, or unsafe to talk to.

In this episode, Yowei and Alissa investigate why talking to a proxy can sometimes offer something close to the real conversation: accountability, honesty, vulnerability, remorse, and the chance to ask questions you may never get answered otherwise.

From the episode

— Alissa Ackerman — criminologist and author of Healing from Sexual Violence: The Case for Vicarious Restorative Justice— more about her work: www.alissaackerman.com

— Ampersands Restorative Justice: www.ampersandsrj.org

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Dead Eyes by Proxy for another emotions beat episode about why talking to the “wrong” person can still help you get unstuck.

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

Get in touch — [email protected]